“You bastard!” Yohsuke shouted. “Wake your cat-nappin’ ass up, puto!”
“Get off me, you assholes.” I grunted and started to try and stand. The rest of the group rolled to the side and began to stand on their own.
“Man, you sound a lot like my roommate.” The figure yawned loudly. “Video games mechanics and some crazy blue light lady-voice. Fuckin’ trippy.”
The creature before me was, without a doubt, my roommate from home. Nick always spoke like this and liked his sleep. He and I had known each other for almost a decade, and when I had come home from the Marines and fell down on my luck, he was kind enough to take me in. We’d been like brothers since a little into our friendship, sharing the same sense of humor and interests, but that act of kindness had cemented it. It took a special person to take a friend in the way he had—and he’d done it without a second thought.
Jaken hung out with us regularly at our apartment, and we drank together. Yohsuke had heard Nick and I talking on more than one occasion, so he knew his voice.
As I got closer, I noted that his features along his cheeks, snout-like nose, and even around his royal-purple eyes were finer scaled. Seemed almost like green flesh. Around his ear holes and the sides of his face, the scales grew slightly larger and rougher. He didn’t look quite human or Elven but more like a Dragon given a humanoid form.
His scales led to a mass of lime-green hair in a rather pointed widow's peak. As close as I was, I saw that the hair wasn’t quite what I was used to seeing—it looked almost like even finer scales than on his face.
“Who are you guys?” he asked as he began to become a little more alert, “and why are you in my room?”
“This isn’t your room, brotha,” Jaken provided before I could. “You’re on Brindolla. Welcome to the party!”
He looked confused. “Jake?!”
“Jaken, my man,” The Fae-Orc grinned. “This is Zeke, Yohsuke, James, and Bokaj. We don’t use our old names here—it may not be safe. Come get some food, and we will fill you in.”
“Hold up.” He sighed. “If we can’t use our real names here, then call me Muu Ankiman. Just Muu. And lemme get dressed—kinda naked here.”
“Clothes and shit are in the chest at the end of the bed.” I pointed, and he stared at me as if I had horns. “What?”
“Fuckin’ duh, dude.” He waved us out. “Starting gear is almost always in the inventory or a large chest in the immediate area. Now, get out or get a show!”
We fled the room and went back out to the bar where Willem grinned at us. “Met your friend, I see?”
We all gave him a playfully dirty look. He smiled and went into the back to get some food ready for his latest guest. Ten minutes later, Muu walked out of the hallway. He wore a simple white shirt, brown breeches, black boots, and moved a little weirdly.
“What’s wrong with you, man?” I asked.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to move with a tail?” he asked exasperatedly and pointed to his own. It was only about mid-calf in length, thick at the base, and came to a rounded tip. It was the same color as his scales, and the bottom of it was a pale tan.
I grinned and pointed to my three. “You get used to it.”
“Now, you don’t see a Dragon Beast-kin very often!” Willem thumped the bar. He patted an empty stool and sat the food in front of it. “You’ll be a curiosity to more than a few members of our village here, lad. Eat up! You’ll need your strength.”
“Yeah, you will.” Yohsuke clapped him on the back. “Good to finally meet you, man. Hey, what class did you pick? And what weapon? What kind of stats are you working with?”
He was halfway through his food before he had even sat down fully. He finished chewing, then said, “Fighter. Status. Show Party.” Then it was right back to eating.
Now, look—Muu is older than me by like a year or two, but the guy had been gaming since before he could fucking walk—so don’t be shitting on your lovable main character here, okay?
The same little opaque screen that I saw when looking at my own stats flashed in front of my vision.
Name: Muu Ankiman
Race: Dragon Beast-kin
Level: 1
Strength: 15
Dexterity: 12
Constitution: 15
Intelligence: 15
Wisdom: 11
Charisma: 14
Unspent Attribute Points: 0
“Very nice.” Yohsuke whistled.
“Cool,” Jaken said, “but what weapon? You could probably do some magic too!”
By this time, he was almost to the end of his plate of food when he looked up. “Oh, sorry. Spear and Shield. I have them in my inventory, though they don’t look too strong.”
“You know how it goes, man,” I said with a smile. “Basic gear for basic bitches. Why Fighter? I would have thought you would go Caster or Rogue.”
“Oh, the blue light told me the party stats and classes before I chose my class.” He shrugged. “After that, it seemed that melee damage and tanking were lacking, so I took what was needed. Though, the specifics I still don’t know too much about. I thought it was just a dream—the same one I had been having for about a week or so.”
“How come you never said anything, man?” I threw my arms out when I asked.
“You know how it is,” he retorted. “You and I both have different schedules. By the time I wake up for the day, you’ve been at the gym for a couple hours already, and by the time I come home, I’m exhausted and want to relax. You’re either asleep or gaming, so I just let it be. Besides, you have strange dreams all the time; why would I bother you about one I’m having?”
“That’s fair.” I sighed. “Well, let's go get you some equipment and some training. Any word on any kind of trainer for him Sir Dillon?”
“Willem, lad,” he replied sternly. “After last night’s escapades? You call me Willem. You’re as much family to me now as the villagers here are, and I’ll hear no argument from you, Jaken Warmecht. Now, as far as training goes, that’s up to you all. The only Fighter in the village left when you lot arrived, and his services weren’t needed.”
“How do we teach him his skills then?” James asked. “Our trainers all helped us learn these things!”
“Fighters excel at martial combat,” Willem began to explain. “They are weapon experts. All he needs is someone to teach him tactics, group fighting, and how to use his weapons competently. Jaken here is good with a shield, and Yohsuke has a weapon that acts as a spear I think? Other than that, you all know how to fight in this world. He may yet hold some surprises for all of you.”
“Okay then, that settles it.” I clapped my hands and rubbed them together. “We’ll get you to the forge and get you twinked out. Then we will take you out for some training and see if there’s anything that needs killing. Anyone else have any other plans?”
Pause. For those of you wondering, “twinked out” or the act of twinking a character is simply just getting them the best gear or better gear than what would typically be available for their level. Back to the story, yeah?
“Yo, you think I’m gonna miss this poor bastard’s first few hours here getting his shit kicked in?” Yohsuke laughed a little as he clapped Muu on the back. “The fuck outta here. You’re about to hate life, puto.”
Muu groaned, and we all patted him and swatted at him playfully. As we were walking out, I heard a purr and then, “GRAAAAAGH FUCK!”
I turned to see Tmont had chomped on his tail. “Damn it, T.” Bokaj smacked her rump, and she headbutted Muu playfully.
“I may not still be allergic to you,” Muu shouted at the great cat as she skittered out the door, “but that doesn’t mean you can bite my ass!”
“She’s got a real thing for tails, man.” I chuckled. “She’s bitten mine too many times for me to count.”
The rest of us stepped into the light of day; the village was bustling and more than a few of the citizens stopped what they were doing to wave hello. It wasn’t them who made
us gasp and wave, though. It was Rowland.
“Hail, travelers!” He strutted up to us, Craglim in tow. “Heard what ye did, ye brave, foolish idiots. Could’ve been killed, all o’ ye. Who be this ‘un?”
“Rowland, this is my friend and brother Muu.” I smiled and clapped him on the back as I said his name. “We were on our way to your shop to see if you were back yet.”
“I bet ye were.” He walked through us with his eyes on Muu. “Good size, muscle tone. Tail looks limp, and he looks sheepish. Tell me, what are ye?”
“I’m a Fighter,” Muu said uncertainly. “I’ll be using a shield and spear. And heavy armor.”
“A proper Fighter!” He guffawed and clapped enthusiastically. “Cousin, if me shop is in shambles, I’ll skin ye—I swear it on the Mountain! I got work to do.” With a wave beckoning us all forward, he said, “Come on then!”
The Dwarves bickered and barked at each other along the way to the blacksmith’s forge.
“They always like this?” Muu asked in a whisper.
“No clue, but Craglim is an asshole, and Rowland is cool as fuck, so stay on his good side, yeah?” I replied in a low tone.
He nodded, then began to look around in absolute wonder. This world was new to him, so I couldn’t blame him.
Ah, I remembered my first drink of the sweet nectar of Brindolla’s sweet, sweet bosom of awesomeness. Sorry, was that weird? That was weird. I’ll shut up.
Every now and again, he would ask one of us a question, and we would try to answer it if we could. One he asked was how Beast-kin came to be, but none of us had the slightest idea.
Once we arrived at the forge, all bets were off. Rowland found his forge in a state of meticulous care that he called, “Shite, but it will do.”
They took measurements for Muu’s armor. Once they had that, I had a few requests to make.
“Hey, Rowland,” I began, and he looked my way. “Can you make him a really heavy spear? Not one that he can’t lift, mind you—but one that is significantly heavier than a normal one? We want to try and train him as best as we can as fast as we can. His armor and shield need to be the same.”
“Ah, that way he builds muscle and endurance faster?” The blacksmith grinned conspiringly. “Aye, I could do that. Don’t need to be pretty, but functional?” I nodded. “Hmm. Give us to tomorrow around noon. Me worthless shite of a cousin will help too—aye, Craglim?”
“Help?” he shouted as if insulted. “I’ll likely finish afore ye. Couldn’t swing a hammer if it swung between yer legs, ye sorry excuse for an artisan. Master, my boot!”
“Oh aye, lad the hammer between me legs be on yer mind now?!” Rowland bellowed back. “Start tha’ forge and let’s see who hammers harder, me—or your MA!”
“Oh ye lit’le shite, I’ll brain ye for tha’,” Craglim threatened. “Take it those bastards knocked the sense from tha’ ugly gob o’ yers.”
“Boys!” Jaken said, coming to stand between them. “Put your hammers away and bring out the real hammers. There’s work to be done.”
Craglim eyed Jaken for a moment, but Rowland broke the tension.
“Oh, but lad, ye never have seen me hammer.” Rowland laughed at his own joke, and we all rolled our eyes.
* * *
“Again!” Jaken barked. “This time, let the block parry off the shield and not hit it directly. It shaves off the damage you take and will leave the opponent open to a counter attack.”
Muu stood in the center of the clearing with the rest of us watching as Jaken took his sword and made a stabbing motion. They had been at it since we got here around noon, the shield being a little more nuanced than I thought. It was about mid-afternoon, possible approaching three our time?
Muu took the wooden shield in his left hand and shoved the incoming weapon away without it letting it sink into the wood like he had half-a-dozen times before, minimizing the impact.
“Yes!” James and I cheered.
“That’s what I’m fuckin’ saying, bro!” Jaken fist bumped Muu then went back to his place. “Now, imagine that there’s a pulley system in your body. When you parry, you pull your shield arm in close and angle the blow away. Then you take your weapon and stab it forward at the same time. That’s the next portion of the training. Let’s have you parry a few more times since you seem to get the concept.”
They did the same thing five times. Each time, the motion became more and more reflexive.
“Now, throw the spear in there too,” I ordered. Jaken smiled and brought his own shield into his hand.
Muu parried Jaken’s next attack and jabbed his spear forward, but it was a weak jab.
“If you’re gonna do that, make sure you do it with some feeling.” Yohsuke grunted. “Don’t half-ass that shit, man. Mean. It.”
“Right.” Muu’s shoulders slumped, and he looked to us. “I’ve never done any of this shit, man. You guys know I wasn’t military. I don’t have the experience.”
“It’s a little different from a bayonet, longer for sure, but the concept is the same.” James pointed to the tip of the spear. “That pointy part goes into his fucking guts, and he dies. Then you scream ‘cream corn’ and move on.”
“You scream that shit, and I will personally destroy you.” I shot James a dirty look. “You know he doesn’t fucking rate to say that.”
Muu rolled his eyes, and Jaken took the opening he was presented. The Paladin swung his sword in a horizontal slash at Muu’s shield arm. He parried the strike deftly and stabbed with his spear. The metal tip struck significantly harder than his last attempt.
“That’s why we’re doing what we’re doing,” Bokaj explained. “We have some experience, and it was hard won. So we’re trying to give that to you without all the pain and suffering we had.”
“And you just did that shit on instinct,” I explained. “That’s in only a few hours of training with us. Think of what we could do with you in a week? A month?”
He nodded. “That makes a lot of sense.” He looked at the spear in his hand. “This feels too weird to use. It’s too long.”
It was seven-foot-long coarse wood with an eight-inch-long tip. Of course, it was fucking long.
“Let me try something then,” I said. I stood and dusted myself off before I walked over to him and took the weapon in my hands.
Beginner’s Spear
+2 to attacks
Please, do not use this as a spit for food.
Weight: 6 Lbs
A gift to the traveler from the Gods. Use it wisely.
“Bokaj, you think you could trim this?” I asked after inspecting it.
Bokaj dropped from the branch he was sitting on, took the weapon, and looked it over. “How does that sound, Muu? Where do you feel like you have the most control?”
Muu took his weapon, sat his shield down, and began to thrust his spear over and over. Eventually, he settled on a grip that felt good to him. He stabbed a few more times, then indicated that three feet from the tip of the weapon was where he felt he had the most control.
Bokaj took the weapon, found a decently sized log, and set to work with his saw. After he was finished, he handed the now four-and-a-half-foot weapon back, and Muu took a few swings with it to get a feel for it.
“Bring it, newb,” Jaken taunted, taking a stance.
Muu took a deep breath with his eyes closed, then opened them and settled into a stance with his center of gravity low. He readied his shield and his adjusted weapon. Jaken sprung at him, stepping forward with his right foot and stabbing his sword forward. Muu parried the attack at the last second, then stabbed down at Jaken’s chest faster than we had expected. Jaken managed to block, but Muu kept the attacks coming. With his shortened weapon, he could angle the attacks in different ways that made it more difficult to predict. He was forcing Jaken to step back step by step.
“Ease it off, Muu,” I called.
I sent a Mental Message to Rowland, “Hey, Rowland, I know it’s kind of weird, but we need the spear to
be four and a half feet from the tip to the tail. Make it heavy.”
“Aye, aye,” I heard his voice respond. “Tomorrow. Noon. At the latest.”
I smiled and continued to watch as the two in the center of the clearing began to trade blows and work on moving while fighting.
We spent another two hours working with Muu in the clearing before heading back to the tavern for food. The walk back was as easy as the walk there. During that time, we told him about some of what we had done since we’d arrived here. How we had cleansed the old ruined fort of War’s Minion the Bone Dragon, then gone on to fight and kill the Goblins in their cave.
See, finding James in that cave had been interesting on its own, but then he said the monks had suggested clearing this place that turned out to be a Goblin dungeon. Wild, right? I thought so too until we had found and fought a Goblin King who whooped our collective asses as my group, James, Yoh, and I, waited for back up from Jaken, Balmur, and Bokaj.
Yeah, splitting the party was stupid, gimme a fucking break already, reader!
Muu’s reactions were interesting. He’d gasp and mumble sounds of awe here and there. Then he began to ask us how skills and magic worked.
“It works the same way it does in video games, if that makes sense.” Jaken paused to collect his thoughts, then continued, “When you learn how to do something, your body knows exactly what to do. The same with the spells and magic. It feels as if you have always known how to cast them.”
I held a hand out before me and touched a large oak tree before casting Nature’s Path. My being became one with the large tree, and I passed through it to a branch thick enough to hold my weight.
“Some classes use spells differently—duh, I know.” I dropped to the ground with ease and motioned to the world around us. “We have our strengths and weaknesses. Like, for instance, I can’t use the spells that Yoh knows because they’re for his class specifically. Just like he could never do some of the things I could do.”
“Wow.” Muu breathed wide-eyed. “So, I understand what each of you is but not what you do. What does a Spell Blade do? Or a Druid? I know, in theory, what a Druid does, but I don’t know here. And a Ranger? This is nuts! And I know Monks kick ass with martial arts and Paladins are holy warriors.”
Into the Dragon's Den (Axe Druid Book 2) Page 10