Lothir had dropped nothing but some scales that Muu took immediate possession of. After we were finished, Jaken looked to the people once more.
“Aratu ack voli tolith cati, oro balistora, Lothir. Filtera ros eva ack deister Radiance. Por tullin ro mer dilt.” He looked at me and nodded. “Ready whenever you are, man.”
“The fuck did you say to them?” Yohsuke asked with an odd look on his face.
“Anyone who demands so much from you, god or Lothir is not a god. Mine is Radiance, and all she wants is peace. For her, I will make it.”
“Did you just Paladin threaten a whole people?” Muu asked in awe.
Jaken’s response was a grim nod.
Epilogue
Once we returned to the village, we told the kids and Ampharia what had happened. Turned out, those crazy wings Muu had were a part of her gift. Crazy right? I thought so too.
All of us had leveled up a good deal. Who knew killing a fake god and a few dozen of her people would result in a huge amount of experience. I felt dirty, though. Really dirty.
How had those people not realized that they were victims from the one thing they thought they could trust? I would likely never understand that, and at the risk of sounding callous beyond words—I didn’t dare try.
All of us had received an interesting notification though for a change.
SECRET QUEST COMPLETED!
Filet the False God – As a little snake, she had been much adored by the land itself, but as she had grown—so too did her hubris. You have taken part in slaying the great false god Lothir.
Reward: 8,000 EXP, and the gratitude of the real Gods.
Woah. That level of experience, plus all the experience from the fight took me up to a grand total of eleven thousand experience gained! That meant that I had gone up to level 29! And some change, of course.
“Did you guys get a boon?” James’s voice sounded uncertain, and it stopped me from placing my stat points for the moment.
I shook my head, and so did everyone other than Bokaj.
“So wait, you two got a boon?” Muu asked with a disappointed look on his face. “A boon from who?”
“The Gods,” Bokaj whispered. “Does this mean that they can bring Balmur back from the Hells?!”
“It does not,” a small, melodic voice behind us answered sadly.
We turned to find a small green figure—no not a Leprechaun—with an orange beard and fiery mane of hair sitting in one of the chairs behind us. Okay, maybe a Leprechaun.
“I come on behalf o’ the Gods to let ye know that they cannot be goin’ inta the Hells for ye. Sorry, lad.” His sad eyes were for Bokaj in that moment. He wore a small leaf toga, kind of like Mother Nature’s, and his features were very decidedly Gnome adjacent. “I’ll be actin’ as their mouthpiece here. Ask for yer boons, lads.”
“Tell me where the strongest, nicest black Dragon is located,” James stepped forward and blurted.
“Nicest black Dragon—boy do ye not know what yer kin are like?” The little man snickered and closed his eyes. “He be in the great swamp, northwest of here on an isle off the coast. Hasn’t cared to move in decades. Last I heard.”
James took out a little notebook and jotted it down with a quill he pulled from his inventory.
The little man looked at Bokaj next. “And ye want to know how to get into the Hells, don’t ye laddy?” Bokaj kept his mouth shut and nodded. “Ask the question, boy. The boon cannot be given this freely.”
“Tell us where, on this plane of existence we can find entry to the Hells without dying or being banished there, please?” Bokaj looked the man straight in the eyes.
“Since ye asked so nicely.” He closed his eyes once more, then began to speak, “High Elves, in their great, walled city up north. There are some who may know of a way. The other, maybe less preferable. It’s a city of the Drow, and they have the same level of knowledge. No matter what ye decide—know that yer close ta bein’ strong enough to stand a chance in the demon realms, but yer gonna need to be careful.”
He hopped down from his chair and walked toward us, then dissipated in a swath of clovers that blew away in a ghostly wind.
Okay, he had to be a Leprechaun.
“So, we have our heading and half our Dragon blessings,” Muu tried to say lightly. “That just leaves getting a little stronger, then going to visit some assholes to see about a trip. That’s like, three things left.”
We nodded grimly. We were closer—damn sure not close enough—but closer. We had our heading. We had a plan.
“Looks like we’re close to going into the Hells, boys.” Bokaj nodded his head to all of us. “Let’s get this show on a roll and get our fucking Rogue back.”
Afterword
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About Christopher Johns
Christopher Johns is a former photojournalist for the United States Marine Corps with published works telling hundreds of other peoples’ stories through word, photo, and even video.
But throughout that time, his editors and superiors had always said that his love of reading fantasy and about worlds of fantastic beauty and horrible power bled into his work. That meant he should write a book.
Well, ta-da!
Chris has been an avid devourer of fantasy and science fiction for more than twenty years and looks forward to sharing that love with his son, his loving fiancée and almost anyone he could ever hope to meet.
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About Mountaindale Press
Dakota and Danielle Krout, a husband and wife team, strive to create as well as publish excellent fantasy and science fiction novels. Self-publishing The Divine Dungeon: Dungeon Born in 2016 transformed their careers from Dakota’s military and programming background and Danielle’s Ph.D. in pharmacology to President and CEO, respectively, of a small press. Their goal is to share their success with other authors and provide captivating fiction to readers with the purpose of solidifying Mountaindale Press as the place ‘Where Fantasy Transforms Reality.’
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Appendix
The Good
Zekiel Erebos (Zee-key-uhl Air-uh-bows) – Marine who loves gaming as a civilian with his buddies who are still in. Class: Druid. Race: Kitsune, has a tail.
Yohsuke (Yo-s’kay) – Zeke’s best bud/brother from the Marine Corps. Overlord, yeah, you read that right. Class: Spell Blade. Race: Abomination (half-breed Drow and High Elf).
Jaken Warmecht (Jay-ken) – Zeke’s friend who typically needs help catching up in the games the group places together. Class: Paladin of Radiance. Race: Fae-Orc.
Bokaj (Bow-ka-jh) – A friend from the gym who loves video games and is in a pretty wicked band! Class: Ranger. Race: Ic
e Elf.
Tmont (Tee-M-on-t) – A panther with a taste for tails who happens to not just be a walking bag of assholes, but is also Bokaj’s pet. Mainly that first one though.
Balmur (Ball-mer) – Bokaj’s best friend and another good buddy of Zeke’s who loves to game! Class: Rogue. Race: Azer Dwarf (Fire Dwarf). HIS BEARD IS A FLAME!
James Bautista (Really?) – Another Marine that Yohsuke and Zeke know and game with often. Class: Monk. Race: Dragon Elf.
Muu Ankiman (Moo Ahn-key-men) – Dragon Beast-kin with green scales and Zeke’s roommate on Earth. Liiiiittle crazy, but he’s okay. Class: Fighter. Race: Dragon-kin (it’s shorter!).
Kayda (Kay-duh) – A pretty little bird with a shitty past and, hopefully, a bright future. Recently turned into a Storm Roc. Very protective of a certain Flame Wolf.
Coal – A Flame Wolf that Zeke is taking care of for a bit on behalf of the Primordial Flame Elemental. He’s got a good temperament, a little heated at times, but he’s a cool pup.
Sir Willem Dillon – Owner of the tavern in Sunrise Village (the starter town) and Paladin of Radiance. The first guy the group meets and doesn’t try to kill. (Or do they? MUAHAHAHA—No really, do they?) Jaken’s trainer.
Dinnia (Dih-nee-uh) – An Elven Druid who takes pity on poor Zeke and brings him into Mother Nature’s good graces. Zeke’s trainer.
Sharo (shah-row) – Another panther who assists his partner in crime Dinnia in training her student. Not a walking back of assholes.
Kyra – Queen of the bears and good friend of Dinnia’s. We like her.
Marin (mare-in) – We, uh… we don’t talk about her. 10 out of 10 though. Kick ass dire bear.
Tarron Dillingsley (Tair-run Dill-night-slee) – Gnomish enchanter who—let’s face it shall we?—sucks as a teacher for various reasons.
Rowland – Blacksmith in Sunrise who decides he likes the travelers, especially the one with the tail—no bias.
Maebe (may-buh—soft buh—if she hears you talking shit, I’m not responsible, yeah?) – Unseelie Queen of Winter and Darkness, who somehow gets thrown into the mix. Also Zeke’s girlfriend. I know, right?
Thogan (ThO-gun) – Champion of the Unseelie Fae, and a rather clingy Dwarf with a rough complexion.
Titania – Queen of the Seelie Fae, who has a predisposition of being a raging bitch to anyone and everyone she doesn’t like. Like outsiders.
Craglim (Crag-limb) – Rowland’s cousin. Racist piece of shit—but he’s a good fighter.
Zhavron (Zah-vrun) – Orc Fighter with a sordid past. Muu’s trainer in all things fighting. A little intense at times.
Pharazulla (Far-uh-zu-la) – A Bard of some renown, though a bit of a stuck-up asshole.
Vrawn (Like brawn, but with a V) – A lovely orcish woman with a soft spot for our local Druid. She’s built like a busty, brick shit house.
Sam – Mayor of Sunrise village. A fair man whose Bear-kin wife and half Bear-kin children believe in him wholeheartedly. Prefers to hunt for the village rather than govern.
The villagers of Sunrise – Great people whose recently went through a lot of bullshit. Go easy on em, yeah?
Set – A decent little Fae-Orc kid, dooped into hunting a Belgar.
Ampharia (Am-far-ee-uh) – An elder green Dragon friend of Mother Nature’s who comes to Muu her blessing and teach him how to fight Dragons.
Natholdi, Granite and son (Nath-ol-dee) – A good, humble Dwarven family that both Muu and Zeke love dearly. Newest additions to the Light Hand Clan.
Farnik Mugfist (Far-nick) – Leader of the Mugfist Clan and good friend to the party. Loves a good cup of mead and song.
Shellica Light Hand (Shell-ih-cuh) – Leader of the Light hand clan and a Grand Master Enchanter. Crazy as shit with a diabolical wit. Zeke’s trainer, unfortunately.
Fainnir (Fay-near) – Newly named son of Granite and Natholdi Light Hand, and the first of a new generation of Dwarven Mages.
The Bad
War – Galactic conqueror who probably suffers from only child syndrome. Probably needs a hug, or he will keep trying to take over the universe.
Minions of War – Not the lovable minions everyone loves. You know, not the yellow ones, or that fish from that one Will Ferrell animated movie. These guys seek to undermine the strength of the Gods by eroding the world around them slowly. And serve the other assholes in this list.
The Generals – A Number of War’s better warriors capable of taking out the strongest people open the planet—and together they did. Dick move.
Rowan – I’m not gonna say much about this guy—read the book then you’ll know what a dickbag he is. Haha, was—sonofabitch is dead now.
Pastella (Pahs-tell-uh) – Crazy Elven woman with a taste for torture and violence.
Children of Brindolla – A group of misguided citizens who believe they are the only ones who can truly save their world. They found themselves on the receiving end of an ass kicking—but was that all of them? Too many questions, not enough asses to kick.
Decay – A Greater Fiend possessed by a minion of War who held his own against the party and Maebe. Fell due to a brilliant plan and a little bit of finesse. Okay, the plan was half-cocked and the finesse resulted in some bullshit—happy now?
Spiders – Just a bunch of overgrown pests that needed an ass kicking. Nightmare fuel FOREVER.
Lothir (Low-thear) – Big ol’ wanna-be snake goddess who has a village of Elves, orcs and Fae-Orcs under her command and demands sacrifices to restore and keep her beauty. All of that means that she’s coo coo for Cocoa Puffs.
And The Ugly
Insane Wolves – Think crazy wolves, but you know, crazier and angrier for some reason. Due to proximity to a minion of War, the minds of these animals have eroded to nothing but the drive to kill and eat anything that is not them, or another wolf.
Undead creatures – As you can imagine, due to proximity to a minion of War, these poor bastards rose from the dead in order to protect their alien masters. Even the stronger versions are worthy of a small bit of sympathy—they sure as hell didn’t get any, but they are worthy of it.
Bone Dragon – I mean, pretty self explanatory, right? It’s a Bone Dragon! No skin, no muscle—all bleached bones and hate for the living.
General of War (Blight) – The asshole who did some truly terrible things, sent us on a supposedly one-way trip to the Fae Realm, and got his ASS kicked. Yeah. That guy.
Ursolon (Ur-soul-on) – Think of a giant, striped bear with an anger management issue the size of North Dakota. Yeah. Now go fight one.
Werewolves – The heroes in some tales—but not this one. Oh no. These guys suck, big time! Hairy, needy pieces of crap.
Alpha Werewolf – The jerk in charge of the other jerks above. Bigger, badder, stronger, and usually way more cunning and ruthless.
The Wild Hunt – A flock of assholes (read demons) who patrol the realm of the Fae and take out anything they believe doesn’t belong there.
Order of the Prime – A bunch of human wizards bent on controlling the elements and restoring mankind to their rightful place as rulers. Some real xenophobic asshats, these ones.
Spiders – Oh, I mentioned these already? Because there were a lot of them. With fangs. And all the feet. Seriously, I need to book an appointment for therapy now.
Belgar (Bell-gahr) – A rhino-like Fae creature with a surprising sense of honor and code that it lives by. Big as shit and it will run over anyone in its way through.
Teyatunga, the Thunderous (Tay-uh-tuhn-guh) – The only Belgar the party has met, honorable, but a bit of a dick. Not a nice guy.
And other random jerks too unimportant for now to mention – they know who they are. Bunch of assholes.
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Into the Dragon's Den (Axe Druid Book 2) Page 52