Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

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Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel Page 73

by Michelle Love


  “So, I am assuming you want us to be exclusive?”

  “Very exclusive,” he answers. “Do you think you can do that?”

  “An exclusive relationship, huh? You know I’ve never had one of those, Kyle.”

  “I’m aware of that. And from your advanced knowledge of sex, I’d say you’ve been at the shit end of more than one asshole’s dick. I’m not judging you, so don’t think that. It’s just that I think you’ve short changed yourself where love is concerned. You’re a great girl, and you deserve to be loved,” he says, then turns me to look at him as he runs his soapy hands over my chest. “Put the antics of the other guys out of your head and let’s find that love together. I don’t want to be a puppet whose strings you pull to mimic other lovers.”

  “I see. How embarrassing. I guess I was doing that. I’m sorry, Kyle.”

  He takes my chin in his hand, lifting my face to look him in the eye. “Don’t apologize to me. I don’t even want you to. I just want to find our own way, you know?”

  My God, how sweet and amazing he is. Ally was a fool to let him go. I know one thing for sure—I’ll never hand him back over to her. It’s her loss and my gain.

  I hope she can forgive me.

  CHAPTER 25

  ALYSSA

  My heart’s been ripped out and stomped on!

  I suppose I had it coming, but I never knew it was going to feel this terrible. My Kyle has given himself to my best friend and I can’t take the pain.

  While it’s selfish of me, I find myself unable to let it go.

  Eden has pressed me about what has me so quiet, but the words won’t come for me to tell him. He’d never understand anyway. No one would.

  It was supposed to be me who was Kyle’s first and he was to be mine. With Eden’s arrival, everything has changed. My world is upside down and I feel as if I’m falling away from the planet.

  My heart is exposed and raw with the pain of Kyle’s words, As a matter of fact I just lost my virginity to her about a half-hour ago.

  I cannot believe he told me in such a callous way. No meanness was in his tone, but also no emotion at all. Just stating a fact. He is no longer hung up on me and has shoved his penis into my best friend just to prove it.

  How could she do this to me?

  Laura has been my best friend since kindergarten. Never would I have imagined her stabbing me in the back like this. There’s not a mean bone in her body.

  She’s slept with quite a few guys, though, and I do know sex is just a thing to her. I can’t imagine how that must have gone over with my Kyle. My sweet and almost innocent Kyle.

  How awful was it for him?

  My mind is full of the ways they did it. I’ve talked to Laura a lot about her sexual escapades. She’s done it about nine ways to Sunday.

  Her father left her mother when she was ten and it messed her up. She feels it’s perfectly acceptable to have sex with a guy you have no relationship with.

  Is that the path she’s leading my Kyle down?

  I’ve never judged her for her behavior. But now she’s done it to Kyle, and I have to do something. I can’t let him go down that road with her. It’s not in his nature to be a sexual deviant. He’ll fall in love with her, because that’s who he is.

  No matter what Laura thinks, he won’t walk away like the other bad boys she’s slept with. He’s a good guy, and he’ll stay around and fall for her.

  When she tires of having him in her bed she’ll move on like she always has, leaving him hurt. I can’t let that happen to him. He’s too special.

  But how can I stop it?

  I look down at my hand as it’s clasped tightly with Eden’s. We’re on the jet with my family, heading to New Orleans to meet his parents. I’m nervous about it because there’s no way they’ll like me.

  A sick-to-my-stomach feeling from Kyle’s news, with a topping of nerves, is about the most horrible I’ve ever felt. I need no more terrible news on this day. I doubt I could take it, feeling as if I might puke any minute.

  Eden sighs and I look up to find him watching me. “Princess, please tell me what she said to upset you so much.”

  “It wasn’t her who told me. I doubt she was ever going to tell me. I doubt that I really know her at all,” I say and look out the window into the dark night sky.

  Eden rises and pulls me up with him. My parents and Scotty sleep in their seats. I follow him as he leads me to the bedroom.

  Oh hell, what is he about to do now?

  He sits me on the bed, then sits next to me. His arm wraps around my shoulder and I lean my head on his.

  “Alyssa, I’d like you to be in a pleasant mood when you meet my parents. And you are in anything but that. Please talk to me. I’m assuming Kyle said the thing which has you so upset.”

  “Yeah.”

  He rubs my shoulder. “That’s a start. Keep going,” he says then places a kiss on top of my head.

  “Kyle let Laura take his virginity and they’re together now.” The numbness in my soul allows me to say the words with no emotion to them.

  Eden squeezes me. “That is hard news. I wonder why he felt you needed to know that. It seems quite petty and not at all like someone who claims to love you.”

  “It’s not like him. I’ve turned him into someone he never was. Now Laura will finish the job of turning him into a man he was never supposed to become. She’ll show him sex is nothing but an act and love is not real.”

  Eden takes my chin, making me look at him. “Alyssa, you don’t know that. They may find happiness together. She must not be all bad or you wouldn’t have been her friend.”

  “What kind of friend does that?”

  His finger strokes my cheek as he says, “Perhaps she’s had a crush on Kyle. She’d never have let you know. Once he was set free, she took the chance and he was ready to go for it. If you truly love them, you’ll let this go. You’ve moved on, haven’t you?”

  Have I?

  I search his eyes to find that thing in him which makes me feel whole. It’s there, but such pain fills me that it’s hard to find the electric sensation I always get with Eden. It’s dampened and I don’t know if it’ll come back. Without Kyle, something is missing.

  “I’m an ass,” I admit.

  “You are not. Don’t think like that.” Eden strokes my hair.

  “I want to have my cake and eat it too. I’m an awful person. I have you, and you are beyond wonderful, yet I want him too,” I say, then turn my head away from him. “Dealing with the knowledge that I can’t have you both, I was content with breaking away from him. Then he goes, finds another, and gives himself to her, and something in me breaks. You deserve better than me, Eden.”

  He kneels in front of me, taking my hands in his. “Look at me, princess.”

  I do as he asks, but see no use in it. I’m not over Kyle and I cannot marry him until I am, if that ever happens.

  “Eden, we have to postpone the wedding until I deal with this.”

  “Alyssa, this is all my fault. I’ve kept you in the dark for too long. I can’t cause you any more pain by not telling you the truth about yourself,” he pauses and searches my eyes. “You and he were never meant to be. You and I were born to be together. I allowed you to live the first part of your life as a normal girl, but you are no ordinary girl.”

  Did he just say he allowed me to live normally? What in the hell?

  “Please explain, Eden. Are you talking metaphorically? Like, we were made for each other, that kind of thing?”

  He shakes his head, leaving me very confused. “We are not what we seem to be, and in a matter of days, we will be more. You and I were chosen before birth to become something bigger and better than mere mortals, Alyssa.”

  “Eden, you’re scaring me. Talk of mortals and such is kind of serial killer talk. Please tell me I’m not in love with a crazy killer,” I say, then laugh nervously.

  “Have you ever heard the legends of the thunderbirds?”

  “The American I
ndian stories about large birds they’d see before storms?” I ask.

  “Yes, those birds. Only the truth is a bit more complicated than their stories,” Eden says. “You see, the Phoenixes are a couple who shape shift into the giant birds to help save people who get into situations which could cost them their lives. But it isn’t their time to go yet, so The Creator sends the Phoenixes in to intervene. We’ll be giving them the chance to survive if they follow us or we’re able to get them to safety. There are a number of ways we help.”

  “Did you say, ‘we,’ because I can’t shape shift into anything. You may have the wrong girl, Eden. I’m ordinary to the core. Never have shape shifted and it’s pretty doubtful I ever will. Best turn the jet around and take me right back to Cloudcroft,” I say as I pull my hands from his, because as beautiful as he is, he’s certifiable.

  CHAPTER 26

  EDEN

  Alyssa has locked herself in the lavatory. She thinks I’m insane. Now I have the great task of making her believe me.

  I knock yet again on the door. “Alyssa, please, precious, come out.”

  “Leave me alone. I want to go home. Tell Jeffery to turn the jet around. I’m sorry you’re unstable, but I can’t be involved with you any longer.”

  I guess I have to go get her mother. I feel awful for waking Toni up, but someone has to get Alyssa out of there. I pat Toni’s shoulder. Her eyes open.

  “Toni, I’ve told Alyssa the news and she’s not taking it well. She thinks I’m crazy and she’s locked herself in the lavatory.”

  She sits up and straightens her skirt. “I’ll go talk to her. What did you tell her?”

  “You know, that we’re going to shape shift into the Phoenixes and we were born to be together.”

  She rises and goes to the bedroom. I follow along behind her. She taps the door and says, “Sweetie, it’s Mom.”

  Alyssa opens the door a crack, then sees me and closes it. “Tell him to leave and I’ll come out and talk to you, Mom.”

  Toni looks at me and I leave.

  Damn!

  I go back into the cabin and sit in my seat.

  I can’t believe she really thinks I’m crazy!

  I’ve made a mess of this whole situation. How Our Creator picked me for this position is beyond me. It’s obvious I’m no good at it. Alyssa isn’t going to go into this as easily as I imagined.

  I wait for nearly an hour before Toni comes back in. She takes the seat next to mine. “I told her everything,” she tells me. “She’s a bit shocked and not responding very much. Maybe the other couple can help. I think it’s best if we leave her alone until it comes time to land. Meanwhile, I’m going to ask Jeffery if he can call the other couple and get them to join us at your home. If she sees them and what they can do, I hope it’ll become real to her.”

  Toni gets up and goes to the cockpit. My stomach hurts at what I’ve done. My mate has had the worst day ever. That boy messed her head up with his awful news, which was completely unnecessary.

  She was nervous about meeting my parents, then I go and tell her she’s going to shift into a giant bird.

  Of course she thinks I’m crazy. Who wouldn’t?

  Toni returns after a little while and gives me the thumbs up, so I guess we’re going to meet the current Phoenix couple. I never thought this day would come. It’s not usual, from what I’ve been told.

  Jeffery’s voice comes over the speaker, letting us know to put on our seat belts. I buckle mine and look over my shoulder for Alyssa. The bedroom door opens and she steps out, but she takes the seat in the very back, alone. She wants nothing to do with me.

  Toni reaches from the seat behind me and pats my shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Eden. Don’t worry.”

  I hang my head, which is heavy with the knowledge I’ve messed up. It’s obvious I have, since the other couple has agreed to come prove to Alyssa what we are. I blew it.

  The jet lands and Jeffery tells us we can leave. Alyssa unbuckles herself and grabs her mother’s hand. “Wait for me, Mom,” I hear her say.

  She’s being careful to keep her parents between us. I wait and let them all get off the plane before me. My heart the heaviest it’s ever been, I wonder if it will cease to beat in a moment.

  The limo is waiting for us. Alyssa and her family are already seated in it as I climb in. Alyssa is snuggly sitting between her parents and refuses to even look my way. We travel the distance to my home in complete silence, until the mansion looms ahead.

  Scotty gives a whistle as we pull up to the large, ornate gates. “Would you look at that? Wow, Ally, you’re too lucky.”

  I watch Alyssa, but her eyes never leave her lap. Her hands bunch the fabric of her dress. I see an unfamiliar car as we approach the front of the house. It must be the other couple’s.

  I slide out first and wait for her family to get out. I tap at Alyssa’s shoulder as she quickly grabs her mother’s hand. “Alyssa, please do me the honor of allowing me to escort you inside,” I say with a pleading tone.

  Alyssa doesn’t look at me, but Toni takes her chin, lifting it to make her look at her. “Alyssa, you should let him. This will all make sense very shortly, and I know you’ll feel terrible about depriving Eden from introducing everyone to you.”

  “But I don’t want to. I don’t trust him, or any of you, to tell the truth. I feel like a lamb being led to the slaughter,” my mate says.

  I notice my ring is gone from her finger. I take her hand and her eyes fly to mine. “Where’s the ring, Alyssa?”

  She opens her other hand and shows me she has it. “Please put it on, princess. Like your mother said, you will understand all we’ve told you very shortly.”

  “I don’t want to,” she says.

  David steps close to her. His voice gruff, he says, “You were not brought up this way. No matter how unbelievable this is, it is the truth. Now put this little pouty crap away and put the ring on. Let Eden take you in and introduce you. Smile and be polite, or so help me, Alyssa Shaylee Devlin.”

  Alyssa looks at her father with wide eyes and I can no longer allow him to speak to her that way. I step between them and take Alyssa by the waist, pulling her close to my side. I take the ring from her and place it on her finger, then turn my attention to her father.

  “David, I beg of you to remember who she belongs to and how protective I am of her. Please don’t rile my anger. I fear I would not be able to control it.”

  David backs away as Alyssa looks at me in surprise. “Eden, don’t talk to my father like that.”

  “Princess, I apologize. Let’s just go inside where this will all be explained and you’ll have proof of what we’ve told you to be the truth,” I say as I move her with me up the stairs to the front entrance.

  The door opens as we approach. The head butler, Niles, greets us with a stoic expression. He’s not big on smiles, or emotions of any kind. “Good evening, Master Fontaine,” he says.

  I smile at him and gesture to Alyssa who allows me to hold her by the waist, yet still remains distant. “This is my Alyssa, Niles.”

  Niles makes an attempt to smile and it turns out a bit creepy. He bows low and says, “A pleasure to meet you, Mistress Devlin.”

  “The pleasure is mine, sir,” Alyssa says, and I find I could not be more pleased with how gracious she is, even though she thinks us all insane.

  “Your parents and their guests are in the main salon. Please follow me and I will announce you,” Niles says.

  Toni, David, and Scotty have caught up with us, and we follow Niles out of the foyer and down a short hallway into the main room. A monster sized chandelier hangs high above the marble floor. Double sets of spiraling staircases lead up to the east and west wing suites where all thirty-six bedrooms have private lavatories.

  Toni and David have been here many times, so they’re not struck by the beauty of the house, but Scotty is wide-eyed and captivated.

  “Dang it, you’re lucky, Ally,” he says as he looks over the grand room.


  To my disappointment, Alyssa looks straight ahead. I squeeze her a little, and speak quietly in her ear, “Do you like it, princess?”

  Her voice is flat and emotionless as she answers, “Of course. Who wouldn’t?”

  Nothing is going as I thought it would.

  We arrive at our destination to find my parents sitting on a scarlet-colored, chenille cover sofa and a silver haired couple sitting across from them on a matching one. They all rise as we enter the room.

  Niles begins the introductions, “Master and Mademoiselle Fontaine, and Master and Misses Covington, I am pleased to introduce you to Master Eden Fontaine and Mistress Alyssa Devlin.”

  I take my mate and lead her first to my mother, who wears a giant smile. “Alyssa, this is my mother, Sierra,” I say.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Fontaine,” Alyssa says.

  My mother holds her arms out for a hug and I let my hold on my mate go, praying Alyssa will accept my mother’s gesture. Thankfully, she moves forward and hugs her.

  “We’ve waited so long for you, daughter. Please call me Sierra until the wedding, then call me mother. Nothing would please me more.”

  Alyssa is released and I’m pleased to see a slight smile on her gorgeous face. “Thank you, Sierra. You seem very sweet. I love your French accent. It’s even richer than Eden’s. It’s very charming.”

  My father is itching to get his introduction. He doesn’t wait for me, but jumps right in as he reaches out to Alyssa and says, “I’m papa to you from now on, sweet princess Alyssa.”

  He takes her into his arms and hugs her, rocking her back and forth while murmuring something to her I can’t hear. When he releases her, she’s really smiling.

  “My, you are something else. I bet you keep your wife on her toes, such a charming man you are, and your French accent makes you all the more interesting,” Alyssa bats her eyelashes at my father.

  How adorable she is and my parents already love her. My father turns our attention to the other couple. “Please let me introduce you to the Covingtons. They’re from London. This is Grace,” he says.

 

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