She thought back to the moment he had held that knife to her. That was nothing new but today there had been a frenzy in him, a bloodlust. He wanted to hurt her, maybe even kill her. Searching her feeling, she realised she had always known this, that her obvious love for Theo – or for anyone that had come along – would set him off. Could she go to the police now? Would the fact she was with Theo – and boy, would the feminist in her loathe that she need a man, even Theo, to give her credibility – would Theo’s position help convince the police she was telling the truth?
Jess slumped against the wall. She had no proof and Jules would use the best lawyers, use his money to paint her once again as no more than an attention seeker.
She looked back at Theo. There was no doubt in her mind that she loved this man, loved him completely and unconditionally. But did that mean she’d risk her life – and worse, his life – to keep what she wanted?
She imagined losing Theo forever. She knew which one she’d rather take Jules’s violence over and over than risk it. She couldn’t end things with Theo.
She drew in a long shaky breath and closed her eyes. A moment later she felt Theo slid his arms around her waist and felt his kiss on the back of her neck.
‘Can’t sleep?’
She shook her head and turned around to face him. She ran her fingertips over his cheekbones, feeling the tension in his muscles. ‘I love you, Theo Storm, so, so much.’
‘As I love you, Jessie.’
He kissed her then and led her back to bed. ‘I can relax you if you’d like?’ He had a small but teasing smile on his face and she sighed and nodded.
‘Please…’
They made love slowly, their gaze locked on the other’s until both of them were moaning and vibrating with pleasure.
Jules Gachet, sitting in his exclusive private men’s club, was at the point of being too drunk. He didn’t often lose control, didn’t allow himself to but tonight he was celebrating. She was his again, his Jessica. Yeah, she might, even now, be fucking that bastard Storm, but Jules knew, she’d be thinking of him, of that knife pressed against her vulnerable skin.
Yes, he knew he’d gotten to her, unleashed that same terror that bound her to him when she was younger. She’d got revoltingly independent, less afraid of him as she grew up, and that had enraged him.
Jules Gachet had reached his late thirties without ever forming a serious romantic attachment. Why would he? With his French good looks, dark eyes, dark hair, olive skin, he was considered one of the world’s most eligible bachelors. He’d fucked around, taking his pick of supermodels, actresses, socialites, each one thinking they’d won the lottery when they’d met him. He let them think that, for a time, before cutting them dead with an almost gleeful finality. He enjoyed the mind games, the confusion and the humiliation.
Because no-one, no-one, compared to Jessica. That tumbling dark hair, those wide brown eyes, that honey-coloured skin. He got hard now thinking about it. And today, he’d reduced her back to the terrified teenager that she’d been the first time he’d taken her, in the room next to their parents, late at night.
Yes, today she became his Jess and again and not only that, he’d had a revelation, an epiphany. What he really wanted, what he most desired, what his endgame had always been whether he knew it or not.
Her blood on his hands. He was going to kill Jessica one day. He wanted to kill her.
Then he really would possess her entirely.
A brunette wandered into his eye-line. She didn’t compare to Jessica of course, but she was an adequate substitute. He beckoned her over with two fingers and she smiled, drifting over to him through the busy club.
He fucked her in the ladies bathroom, not even bothering to learn her name. She was the usual type, good-looking with that hungry, eager look in her eyes.
‘I’ve seen you here before,’ she said, smiling as he led her to the bathrooms. I was wondering when I’d see you again.’
‘Shh.’
He lifted her up and thrust into her. She winced, not ready for him but stayed silent, enjoying his brutality, his clinical sexuality. She tried to kiss him but he turned his head away. Afterwards, after they dressed, they walked out of the club towards his car. She slipped her hand into his. He dropped it almost immediately. She had trouble keeping up with his stride.
‘Wait.’ She said finally. He stopped and when he turned to look at her, it was with a blank stare, as if he’d only just noticed she was there.
‘Can I come back to your place?’
He laughed in her face. ‘Why the fuck would I want that?’
She baulked and he realised that under that slutty façade, she was just a kid. It made no difference to him.
Amateur. He turned on his heel with a disgusted look on his face and got into his car.
Professor Gerry Land noticed Jess’s pale face and exhausted eyes but discreetly said nothing. For a change, he swept all of the usual paperwork from her desk and told her to concentrate on the ‘Luna Soleil’. Jess was grateful for his kindness.
She was glad to be away from her desk. Every time she looked over at that side of the room, she saw Jules – felt Jules – with his hands on her. She’d thrown her paperknife away, dumping it in one of the cafeteria’s bins. It didn’t make sense but it made her feel better to know it was gone, that it couldn’t be used on her.
Theo had called her every hour, on the hour, just to check in and as soon as she heard his voice, she felt warmth flood through her. How could she give this up? Give him up?
As she worked on the painting, she lost track of all time, lost in what she was doing, lost in dreaming about Theo. She put all thoughts of Jules out of her mind.
The light was already fading by the time she walked out in the cool evening air. She knew Theo had a late meeting so she was surprised when his Mercedes pulled up beside her. Max leaned over and grinned at her.
‘I’m your ride tonight, lady.’
She giggled and got in the car. Max pulled the car around and drove out of the campus. Jess studied him as he drove.
‘It’s nice to see you again, Max,’ she began, ‘but you really didn’t need to do this.’
Max shrugged good-naturedly. ‘Did Theo mention I came over last night?’
She shook her head and he sighed. ‘Okay, well, he told me what happened with your step-brother – or rather that you and he had an argument. Both he and I don’t believe that’s all, by the way,’ – and he grinned over at her to soften his words. ‘Let Theo help you, whatever it is. You won’t betray the sisterhood, I promise.’
His tone was light and she smiled at his words but she could sense his seriousness.
She sighed. ‘Max. It’s not fair to Theo or you. My history with Jules is complicated.’
They drove in silence for a while then Max pulled the car over to the side of the road.
Jess took a deep breath in. ‘Max…’
‘Do you love Theo?’ The question took her by surprise and she realised then that to her and Theo, in their little bubble, their love was overwhelming but to others looking in – especially a concerned best friend, it must seem…
‘Max, I love him more than anyone else in this world. I know you must be concerned, especially given Theo’s position, his wealth. If I were you, I’d be looking at me thinking ‘is she looking for a white knight? Is she here just for his money, his influence? But I don’t care about all of that. I love Theo for him. Nothing more. I just don’t want past horrors to affect our life together.’
Max was studying her intently, listening to every word carefully. There was a long silence then he leaned over and kissed her cheek.
‘I’m sorry, I had to ask. I just don’t like secrets. For the record, I’ve never seen Theo like this. He’s fallen hard.’
Joy rushed through Jess. She poked Max’s shoulder, grinning wickedly. ‘What a sap.’
‘Complete wuss.’ He joined in with her joke and they both laughed. Max shook his head.
; ‘Man, when you think this all started with a dumb bet…’
Jess smiled, confused. ‘A bet?’
Max laughed. ‘He bet me he would find the love of his life within three months. That was less than a month ago. Quick work even for him.’
Jess’s chest felt tight. ‘A bet?’
Max sensed the change in her tone and looked over at her, a frown on his face. ‘Hey wait, I…’
‘Could you take me home, please, Max?’
‘No, Jess, I didn’t mean… god, it was a stupid joke, I didn’t mean. He…’
‘Please, Max, take me home.’
Theo looked up at Max, as his best friend burst into the room, and his heart began to thud unpleasantly at Max’s expression.
‘Where’s Jess?’
But looking at Max’s stricken face, suddenly Theo didn’t think he wanted the answer…
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Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel Page 108