Hinzi. If she could reach Hinzi, he would help her. Already, the officer was dragging her back toward the shadows of some buildings. He had one hand over her mouth, the other around her breasts as he dragged her, kicking and fighting. “Christ! Don’t you bite me or I’ll break your jaw. I’m gonna have you, squaw, so you might as well submit and make it easy on both of us.”
“Let go of her, Baker, or I swear to God I’ll kill you!” A big, tall man stepped out of the darkness, swearing under his breath. The moonlight glinted on his yellow hair. “You heard me!”
“I hear you, all right, you crazy white savage!” Baker threw Kimi to one side and stood feet wide apart.
She saw the sudden reflection of steel. “Hinzi, watch out! He’s got a knife!”
“Get out of here, Kimi!” Hinzi ordered and then he dived for the officer’s middle.
She didn’t answer or obey as she watched the men mesh and roll over and over in the dirt. What should she do? If she called a guard or screamed, things might go badly for her love. There was no telling what Baker would tell everyone. One thing was certain, Hinzi might be in big trouble and no one would believe her word against the officer’s if he said she offered herself to him and then demanded more money.
She felt powerless as she watched them fight like two stags clashing over a doe. Hinzi grabbed the other’s arm and by sheer power managed to take the knife from him and toss it away into the shadows. They fought silently, probably both mindful of bringing the sentries on the run and having to explain to the colonel.
Baker tripped the bigger man, but Hinzi was as light on his feet as a cougar. As he went down, he twisted out from under Baker, hit him a blow with his fist that sent the other staggering back against a building. Hinzi charged him, hitting him again and again with uncontrolled rage.
Kimi saw the blood on the officer’s pale face. She grabbed Hinzi’s arm. “Stop it! You’ll kill him and get yourself in trouble!”
Her words seemed to get through to the white warrior, although his eyes still looked like cold blue ice in the moonlight. He stepped back, breathing hard, swearing softly under his breath. “She’s right, you slimy bastard! Get the hell out of here before I kill you!”
Baker needed no second offer. With blood smearing his pitted complexion, he turned and ran for his quarters.
She and Hinzi faced each other a long moment. “I suppose I was wrong about him.”
Hinzi rubbed his bruised knuckles. “Fortunate for you I couldn’t sleep, was out for a smoke.”
She wanted desperately to run into his powerful, protective arms, but she managed to control herself. “Pilamaya.” Thank you. She cleared her throat to keep from sobbing. “It’s almost dawn. Tomorrow, I’ll go back to my people.”
“You don’t have much waiting for you there without me except maybe as some warrior’s second wife.”
“I know, but it’s better than staying at the fort.”
“I feel responsible for you, Kimi.” He moved his hands awkwardly as if he wanted to reach out, pull her into his embrace, was forcing himself not to touch her. “Kimi, you’re a white girl, I feel I should give you a chance at living among your own kind. You might like it.”
He did not say he wanted her, she thought. Perhaps he only felt obligated and guilty toward her. Perhaps he did not want to be one of those “squaw men” who used a pretty girl for his convenience and then deserted her without a backward glance.
“Look,” he gestured, “You could stay as my family’s houseguest until you decide what to do, or maybe find out if you have any relatives anywhere.”
She wanted to throw her arms around him and kiss his dear face. But if she did that, they might end up making frenzied love and it could never work out for them.
“Hinzi, that’s a kind offer, but I can’t make it in white civilization; I don’t know anything about their customs.”
“You’re smart; you could learn. I could enroll you in some nice school.”
“Far away from you?”
“It would make it easier for both of us, Kimi. I have plenty of money to send you to the best female academy.”
“What would Lenore think?”
He sighed. “She’d probably think I was doing my Christian duty toward the heathen. She need never know what happened between us. I’m engaged to her. That means I’ve given my word I’ll marry her. That’s as sacred to a white man of good heart as it is to an Indian.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Lenore has waited faithfully all these years for my return. I would be scorned if I go home and don’t marry her.”
She could respect his sense of honor. Honor was important to a man, no matter what color. “How could you possibly explain me to her; to your family?”
“I will take you back as a white girl I found living among the Indians. Once you try living as a white, you might like it.”
She was determined not to show her anguish. He was going to marry that other girl and was feeling guilty about Kimi, trying to do the “right thing” by her for having taken her virginity. Her pride screamed for her to refuse, but she had no pride where he was concerned. Just to be close to him for a while longer, that’s all she could think of now. “Fine,” she said, drawing herself up proudly, “I don’t want to upset your life. Perhaps I can be a houseguest for a few weeks until I learn the culture. No one need ever know about what happened between us.”
“Do you think I could ever forget?” He snarled. “I’m engaged to Lenore and I know this thing between us could never work out, but when I think of the way you return my passion when I make love to you, I want you all over again!” He grabbed her, kissing her hotly, his hands stroking her back and hips.
She tried not to let him mold her against him all the way down both their bodies, but she had no will where he was concerned. He had said he wanted her, he hadn’t said he loved her. She loved him with all her heart.
He had her up against the frame building in the shadows, his mouth ravaging hers while he worked her shift up with his hands. She wore nothing underneath it. The doeskin shift had fallen off one shoulder so that her bare breasts were pressed against him. Kimi slipped her arms around his neck, digging her nails into his shoulders in a frenzied passion as she felt him reach to unbutton his pants. “Come to me,” he demanded in a hoarse whisper, “come to me!”
She could do nothing but obey his need and her own. Still standing against the building, he rammed up into her and she locked her legs around his waist as he guided her to him. They coupled standing up while his mouth sucked her tongue into his throat. He seemed to be crushing her against the wood in the hot frenzy of their mutual need. This time, there was nothing gentle or tender in their meshing in the darkness like two wild things, and her need was as great as his. For a long moment, they gasped and strained together, and then it was over. She let her slim legs slide down his virile body, and he disengaged from her, but he didn’t let her out of his embrace. He leaned against her, breathing hard and she let him, feeling his hot seed running down her thighs.
What had she done? No matter how much she loved him, she must have more pride and honor than this. Kimi took a deep, shuddering breath and straightened her clothes. Then she pulled away from him. “You think to keep me for your pleasure yet marry her. A woman who would settle for that is a fool.”
“I never meant what happened just now to ever happen again, Kimi, you’ve got to believe that. I can’t leave you here in this wilderness where you won’t be taken care of. Go with me. At least I can send you to a boarding school or something, so you can learn to make your own way in the white world.”
“I suppose you feel you owe me that to salve your conscience,” she snapped. “All right, I will be your family’s houseguest, but not your mistress.” She kept her tone icy. “If I get a little education or track down my family, that’s all I need from you. I might even meet a man I like better. Then you have no problem with your elegant fiance or your honor. From now on, I will speak English and call you Rand.”
“Kimi, I don’t want you to think–”
“Don’t worry about it.” She tossed her head. “Frankly, maybe after I see the way civilized people live, I’ll like it so much, I’ll thank you for giving me the chance. And I suppose I can’t blame you for anything, when you had this other obligation, this other girl chosen before I ever came into your life.”
He swore under his breath. “There’s no good answer.” His voice was ragged, tense. He looked stressed. “Get ready to go. It’ll be dawn in an hour. I’ll make arrangements for you.”
She stood there a long moment, struggling with her heart. How could she go with him, watch him marry that other girl, thinking of him sleeping with her? Yet even though she knew she could only be hurt, she couldn’t stop herself from loving him, wanting to be with him if it was only for a few days longer. “I–I–all right.”
She forced herself not to think of all the gloomy consequences as she turned and ran to her quarters to gather her few things. She was going with Hinzi. Nothing else mattered but being close to him, even if only for a little while.
“Damn that puppy anyhow!” Lenore kicked at the dog as it dug at the base of the camelia bush. “Shelby, would you put him out of here?”
“Sure,” he grinned at Lenore and reached down to grab the clumsy foxhound pup. “Sweet Jesus. We can’t have Grandma know we’re out here a lot, can we?”
He grabbed the dog roughly, dragged it to the French doors. The piano music drifting softly through the doors as he opened them. Pushing the puppy into the hall, he closed the doors and came back to join the beauty on the wicker settee. “Doesn’t the old lady ever play anything else?”
Lenore agreed. “Greensleeves? I get sick of it too. It was my father’s favorite. She always wore green silk; it looked beautiful on her.”
“Who?”
“My mother.” She paused, remembering the regal beauty in the green silk rustling through the halls. Sometimes at night when it was very dark and late, it almost seemed Lenore heard her full skirts rustling. When she awakened, it was always the big oak trees blowing in the night air. “It seems strange to call her that. She was quite vain and very cold. She didn’t like to be called ‘Mother.’ She made me and my little sister call her by her first name.”
“Strange.” His tone told her he was dismissing the conversation. “Discussing your family isn’t too entertaining, honey.” He reached out to stroke her soft skin where it swelled above her low-cut canary yellow bodice. “We’re taking a chance meeting here, you know.”
She caught his hand and clasped it over her breast. “For pity’s sake! Grandmother’s so old, I think she’s getting hard of hearing, half blind, and senile. She doesn’t know what we’re up to.”
“She seems pretty sharp to me. Where did she get that damned dog, anyway?”
“Tally Ho?” Lenore shrugged. “It’s a cull from the Erikson’s pack: too timid to hunt. It should have been shot, but Grandmother saved it. Stupid mutt. It’s dug up every flower bed around the house. She keeps him shut out of the conservatory. I forgot to close the door.”
“If the dog had pooped around her favorite camelia bush, she might figure out we’d been out here.”
“For pity’s sake, that’s no way to talk around a lady.” She whacked him hard with her fan.
He acted as if he were about to say something, then changed his mind. His hair, with its perfumed oil, shone in the light. “How come you live with your grandmother? Where’s your folks and that little sister?”
“They went West.” Lenore leaned forward so his fingers could reach inside her bodice.
Shelby looked puzzled. “With all this, they picked up and went West? Doesn’t make sense.”
“I think there was some kind of disagreement with my grandmother; I don’t know what about. I was in school and they were going to send for me. We never heard from them again.”
He looked mystified. “That’s all?”
She nodded and yawned to indicate how bored she was with the topic. She never liked to stray from her favorite topic, herself, very long. Shelby didn’t seem as entertaining as he once had. She wondered what Vanessa saw in him? Probably the only offer the poor thing had had, with all the men off getting killed in the war. “For pity’s sake, Shelby, you know that. Stop talking! You know what I want.”
“What I want, too, honey.” He ran both hands down the front of her dress.
She took a deep breath, liking the feel of a man’s hands on her. She wondered whether Rand was skilled at making love. He was such an honorable, old-fashioned Southerner, naive enough to think Lenore would be offended by anything less than gentlemanly conduct. “Vanessa had you yet?”
He laughed and leaned to kiss the swell of her breasts. “Now is that a question for a lady to ask?” Instead of answering, he kissed her.
She smacked him with her fan. “You silly boy, she’s my best friend; I think I have the right to know.”
“Some best friend you are to her, honey.”
“Why don’t you just dump her?” Lenore unbuttoned his pants, liking the feel of him hot and big in her hand.
He groaned with pleasure. “If we play our cards right, we can end up with both fortunes. Suppose I marry Vanessa? Her parents can’t last forever and then if she should meet with an unfortunate accident, I’d be a rich, grieving widower. With Rand dead, there’s no reason we couldn’t get married then and end up with both fortunes.”
Lenore liked a clever, greedy man. She and Shelby were well-matched. “For pity’s sake, Shelby, I do admire a man who knows what he wants!”
“I’m taking chances making love to a single woman,” he murmured against her neck. “My brother-in-law was a real lady’s man and he always told me to choose a married woman or one who was about to be married.”
“Why?”
“Because if she comes up with a kid, her husband thinks it’s his.”
“Don’t worry. If I could have a baby, I’d have a flock by now, after what we’ve been doing all these weeks.”
“Don’t you worry about Grandma catching you?”
“She’s old, and getting senile,” Lenore said, enjoying the feel of his hands roaming over her body. “She can’t last much longer. If she doesn’t die soon, I may try to find her a nice rest home.”
He laughed, pulled her to him, and kissed her. “Don’t you think the judge would put a fast stop to that?”
“I haven’t figured out a way to get around him yet,” Lenore complained, “I’ll have to think about it some more. Maybe he’s the one who should meet with an accident.”
Shelby reached to pull off her lace drawers. “You know what I like about you, Lenore?”
“It’s rare for a lady to be so good at sex?”
“It is rare, all right, you’d put a whore to shame. My brother-in-law once told me elegant ladies could be deceiving with their appetites. He had one wealthy beauty who couldn’t get enough of him while her old man was out of town on business.”
“I don’t want to hear about your relatives,” she gasped as she pulled him to her. “You know what I want.”
“You little slut,” he whispered as his hand went up under her lace drawers, stroking ... stroking ... stroking the most secret, sensitive part of her. “That’s all you are under that fine pretense.”
“And that’s what you like about me.”
They made passionate love with no more emotion than two animals rutting, but Lenore liked it that way. Poor Rand, he’d been so naive and gallant. She regretted now she’d never got to enjoy him, but he had such old-fashioned ideas. He would have been shocked if he had known the real Lenore Carstairs. She gave herself up to the enjoyment of Shelby’s maleness. She liked to be treated like a whore, not a lady. That was where Rand had made his mistake.
They were just finishing straightening their clothes when she heard a rider galloping up the lane, shouting.
“What’s that all about?” Lenore frowned.
“You don’t suppo
se–?”
“For pity’s sake, don’t be foolish. No one knows you’re here. Slip out the side door. If it’s important, you’ll soon know.”
He did as he was bid. Lenore hastily straightened her clothes and crossed the conservatory in her tight shoes, her full skirts rustling as she minced through the plants toward the entry hall. She heard the piano stop playing abruptly and her grandmother came out of the music room. “Lenore, what is all that shouting about?”
“For pity’s sake, I don’t know, but I aim to find out.”
Elizabeth Carstairs came with her. As they reached the entry, Nero, the big, black butler, rushed to open the door.
The little black boy with the crooked teeth, the Erikson’s servant, swung down off the horse and ran inside.
Nero’s tattooed face frowned, and he scolded him. “Where’s your manners, boy!”
The child ignored him and ran to the two women, breathless with urgency and excitement. “He be found! He comin’ home!”
“My family!” Elizabeth clutched her throat, looking pale. “I just knew someday they’d return! Where? When?”
“No, ma’am.”
“You little nigger!” Lenore snapped, “stop shouting before I take a strap to you! What are you talking about?”
“It’s Marse Rand, ma‘am,” he said, obviously afraid of her ill-tempered fury. “Word just come to de house. He been found alive and he comin’ home!”
Seventeen
Elizabeth sat at her piano. She enjoyed playing, although arthritis had affected her hands. The piano brought back memories of happier times with her beloved husband and later, her son Jim and his family.
Slowly she played Jim’s favorite:
Alas, my love you do me wrong–to cast me off discourteously, and I have loved you so long, delighting in your company. Greensleeves was all my joy, Greensleeves was my delight, Greensleeves was my heart of gold and who but my lady Greensleeves. . . .
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