Rand laughed. “Judge, if you weren’t a respected senior citizen of this county, we might all think you were flirting with the young lady.”
“And if I weren’t such a senior, I might,” the judge retorted, a twinkle in his eyes.
Everyone laughed and Kimi felt herself blush. “I think I would be honored if the judge were so inclined.”
Mister Erikson, at the end of the table, said, “For a girl who hasn’t been raised like a Southern belle, ma’am, you certainly know instinctively the repartee.”
“Seriously,” the judge said, “she just looked familiar, that’s all. Miss Kimi, green is certainly your color; it goes with your eyes.”
Vanessa, sitting next to Kimi said, “Isn’t it lucky I had an old dress I could lend her? I had intended to give it to a servant.”
Rand gave his sister a cold look from his place on his mother’s right. “You never looked so good in it, sister.”
A sudden chill seemed to descend on the room. Kimi licked her dry lower lip. “It was very nice of her to lend me the dress. I really didn’t have anything nice enough to wear.”
Lenore said, “We’re about the same size. Perhaps before you leave the area, I could give you a few things. I’d consider it my Christian duty.”
In the library, Kimi had noticed the one flaw in Lenore’s beauty; her large feet. Kimi certainly couldn’t wear her shoes. She forced herself to smile. “You’re too kind, Miss Carstairs.”
“You should have seen her when she arrived,” Vanessa said smugly to the other guests, “she was in moccasins and a leather shift when she stepped out of the carriage.”
Kimi felt all eyes upon her. A savage, that’s what they think of me; an uncivilized savage, a curiosity.
“Well,” said the judge, “she certainly is lovely. I’ll wager she made that buckskin look as good as she does Miss Vanessa’s dress.”
“Pierce,” Mrs. Erikson said from the end of the table, “Elizabeth wasn’t up to coming?”
He shook his head and looked worried as he spread his napkin over his lap. “She does invite all of you to dinner tomorrow night.” He looked at Kimi, “and of course, your guest is invited, too.”
Kimi, watching him, spread her napkin on her lap, also. The chair wasn’t all that comfortable, and the tight corset made it hard to breathe. She thought wistfully of sitting before a camp fire on the ground, cooking a piece of meat.
Rand’s father had already finished his wine, was gesturing to the black servant to fill his glass again.
Mrs. Erikson pursed her lips in disapproval. “Really, Jon, that’s your fourth glass.”
“I don’t have to count, not with my dear wife keeping score.” With an almost defiant gesture, he took a long drink.
The air seemed tense. Kimi glanced at Rand. He looked a little embarrassed and unhappy as he began to ask about how the war had affected the area and gossip about people they all knew. Kimi knew none of the people being discussed, so she concentrated on the food in her plate. She looked at all the silver on each side of the gold-rimmed china. What to use?
The judge caught her eye, made an elaborate gesture of picking up a fork. His expression gave her to know he would try to help her. Immediately, Kimi felt a little better. She had an ally. Rand was too far down the table to give her any hints. Kimi did exactly as the judge did.
Mrs. Erikson said, “Oh, by the way, Rand, about the Harvest Moon Ball I’ve planned for this Saturday night–”
“Mother!” Vanessa pouted, “you’ve spoiled the surprise.”
“Oh, for pity’s sake, Vanessa, it’s not that big a thing,” Lenore said with an airy wave of her hand. “It’s just to announce our engagements, that’s all.”
Kimi managed to keep her face immobile as she struggled with her knife and fork. Everything seemed fried and too rich or salty for her taste, but then she was used to simple stews and buffalo steaks roasted on a slow spit over a fire.
She looked up to find Shelby Merson staring at her low bodice as if he were mentally taking her clothes off. “Do you waltz, Miss Kimi?”
She started to shake her head, but Rand said, “I was just in the process of teaching her.” He locked his gaze on hers. “I wouldn’t want you to miss the ball, Kimi.”
Lenore bristled and paused with her delicate crystal wine glass half way to her lips. “I understand Miss Kimi is only a temporary houseguest. She might be gone by then.”
“On the other hand”–Kimi looked her straight in the eye–“I might not.”
Jon Erikson seemed to come out of his stupor and grinned at her sassiness. “Of course you’re invited to the ball, my dear. I’ll look forward to your saving a dance for me.”
Rand and Kimi exchanged looks. “Mother,” he said, “I wish you’d ask me before you start making big plans.”
“Mercy me, brother,” Vanessa sipped her wine, “we thought it might be a wonderful time to set a double wedding.”
Rand appeared a bit testy. “I had forgotten how all you women manage my life for me.”
“Why should you be any different?” Jon Erikson muttered. “They’ve always interfered in mine.”
Rand’s mother frowned the length of the table at him. “Did you say something, Jon?”
“No, my dear.”
Kimi watched Rand’s father. He had retreated to his fried chicken and his wine.
Judge Hamilton immediately changed the subject, talking about how the war had affected Kentucky, cotton prices, almost any less volatile subject.
Kimi picked at her food. She wasn’t very good with a fork and she was more than a little afraid of embarrassing herself. She could scarcely breath in the tight corset, and the yards and yards of skirt seemed to smother her while the shoes pinched her feet. She thought longingly of her soft doeskin dress and moccasins. Could she ever fit into white society? Did she want to? She felt someone’s eyes on her, glanced up suddenly, and caught Rand watching her. When their eyes met he looked away. For a moment his face seemed almost as sad as Jon Erikson’s. Rand’s happiness was all that mattered to her. What would make him happiest?
They got through the dinner somehow and Kimi managed to keep herself from yawning at the dullness of it all. So this was how privileged white ladies lived. She hoped this harvest ball would not be so dull. As she stifled a yawn, the judge smiled at her. Evidently he had read her thoughts, maybe some of these people were not the old man’s favorites, either.
They lingered over coffee for a long time. Mrs. Erikson suggested several times that the ladies retire to the drawing room for sherry and leave the gentlemen to their cigars and brandy, but Rand shook his head. “I hate to disappoint everyone on my first night back, but I’m exhausted, as is Kimi, I’m sure. We ought to call it a night early.”
Lenore took a deep breath and her nostrils seemed to flare. “Why, Rand, for pity’s sake, I thought you might want to drive me home.”
“Well, I–”
“Now, Lenore,” the judge broke in with a long look at Kimi, “you heard Rand say how weary he is. I drove you over, I can certainly drive you home.”
“Of course.” Lenore bit off her words and glared daggers at Kimi. “How thoughtless of me not to remember that.”
Vanessa threw down her napkin. “Is the hunt still planned for tomorrow?”
“Oh, yes,” Mrs. Erikson wheezed, “I had forgotten to mention it to Rand. The club has planned a fox hunt to welcome you home.”
“Hmm,” Rand said without much enthusiasm.
“Why, Rand,” Lenore said, “you used to love it.”
He looked at Kimi. “Someone pointed out to me that chasing and killing something just for the joy of it is not a very sporting thing to do.”
“Why, for pity’s sake,” Lenore said, “it’s part of our civilized tradition.”
“Until I was away, I hadn’t realized how many questionable traditions we have. Maybe fox hunting needs to go the way of slavery,” Rand said.
Mrs. Erikson’s mouth fell open. �
�Why, I do believe that serving in that Yankee army has affected the poor boy’s mind. You never used to talk like this, dear.”
“I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking. I never used to do that,” Rand shrugged. He was looking at Kimi.
Shelby Merson played with the diamond stickpin in his gaudy tie. “Everyone who is anybody will be there; all the fashionable people.”
Rand seemed to grit his teeth. “People are still reeling from the war and our crowd is back to its mindless, idle way of life, destroying crops galloping after one damned fox!”
Lenore’s mouth fell open. “Swearing in the presence of ladies! I declare, you’ve been among the savages too long!”
Rand muttered an apology, but he didn’t look as if he meant it.
His mother looked bewildered. “Rand, dear, you used to love our way of life. I merely planned–”
“I’m a little weary of people always making plans for me.” He threw down his napkin. “It is, after all, my life.”
Mrs. Erikson’s pale eyes blinked. “Why, dear, things are as they always were. Perhaps you’ve forgotten.”
“You’re right, I had,” Rand said.
His father shrugged and signaled for the servant to pour him another glass of wine. “Well, never forget, son, the hand that holds the money rules the world.”
Mrs. Erikson pursed her lips. “Did you say something, Jon?”
“No, my dear.” He gulped his drink.
Kimi suddenly felt quite sorry for Jon Erikson. If this was the way rich white families lived, why would anyone want to be part of one of them? She caught Judge Hamilton’s eye and realized from his expression that he was suffering, too.
He stood up. “It has been a lovely dinner, Rose. I really think it’s getting late and I should drive Lenore home before I go on.”
He and Rand helped the ladies from their chairs. Mister Erikson seemed a little unsteady on his feet.
Vanessa glared at Kimi. “I have an extra riding habit if you care to go on the hunt.”
“Well, I don’t know.” Kimi didn’t feel very welcome.
“Oh, yes, you must come along.” Lenore’s golden eyes gleamed. “I have a wonderful new horse I’ll lend you.”
Rand looked puzzled at the pair’s sudden generosity. “I doubt Kimi has ever participated in something like this.”
While she couldn’t waltz or do needlepoint, or a thousand things that seemed so important to these prissy white women, Kimi was an expert rider. Abruptly it occurred to her that here was a chance to show that she wasn’t completely without skills. “Of course I’d love to.”
Jon Erikson cleared his throat. “I’m the master of the hunt, my dear, and we’ll be crossing Randolph Hall’s land. Give you a chance to see what we do for fun.”
Vanessa smiled. “Oh, yes, this will be so much fun, won’t it, Lenore?”
Kimi was puzzled at the looks the two other girls were exchanging. Perhaps they thought she couldn’t ride and intended to make her look like a fool.
“Then if we’re all going in the morning,” Rand said, “we really do need to end this evening early.”
They all said their good-nights and Kimi went upstairs while Rand saw the judge and Lenore Carstairs off. She locked her door, pulled off the tight shoes and rubbed her aching feet. It was even more difficult to get herself out of the boned corset, even with Millie’s help. No wonder Rose Erikson wheezed. Kimi threw herself across the bed. What had she gotten herself into? She didn’t belong among these petty, sarcastic women. Yet she had no money and nowhere to go. She had never spent a more miserable evening in her whole life.
She pictured the dark, cold beauty of Lenore Carstairs. She was about the same general size and coloring as Kimi herself, ebony hair, small frame. She had been breathtaking in her russet gown. Maybe it was those strange, almost golden eyes. There was something hauntingly familiar about them–sort of like looking at a cat’s, she thought.
She lay back on her bed, thinking about the beauty Rand was engaged to marry. For comfort, she reached for her spirit object on the bedside table, began to hum her spirit song very softly. She dozed off into a troubled sleep. Kimimila ... Kimimila ... a voice called in her dreams. Was it a memory? Was it ... ?
“Kimimila. Kimi, are you asleep?”
The soft knock at her door brought her awake with a start.
“Kimi?”
Rand’s voice. She got up, tiptoed to the door, and opened it just a crack. “Go away. Suppose your mother or sister hear you?”
“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry about tonight. When I get a chance, I want to talk to Mother about breaking the engagement.”
“No, you can’t do that.” She opened the door, faced him in her sheer nightdress. He was barefooted and bare-chested. She had forgotten how much golden hair he had on his chest. “You might live to regret it. Rand, I’m not sure I can ever fit into your–”
He cut off her words with his kiss and she lost all control and clung to him. For a long moment as they embraced, nothing else mattered but being in his arms, having his lips warm on hers. Through the sheer lace of her nightgown she felt the hair of his chest brush against her nipples. For a split second, she was transported back to the wild Dakota territory where things were so much more simple, where he was the white warrior and she was his woman.
She managed to push both hands flat against his naked chest, took a deep breath for control. “Rand, I don’t think it will ever work. Your mother and sister will never accept me. Your friends would laugh at me behind my back, pity you.”
He kissed along her cheek. “The judge didn’t laugh.”
“He’s different.” There was something special about Pierce Hamilton, she decided. In her dreams she had imagined a kindly old uncle like the judge and a white-haired grandmother with gray eyes and a pale lavender gray dress. Both images puzzled her.
“Let me stay the night,” Rand whispered along her neck, his hand caressing her breast, “Damn me for a cradle-robbing cad, I want to make love to you!”
She steeled her resolve, managed to pull away from him. “We can’t do that, not right here in your parents’ home.”
“But Kimi–”
“No!” She managed to pull away from him, slam the door in his face, and lock it. She leaned against it, shaking.
“Kimi?”
She didn’t answer. He was like a lot of white men. He would end up marrying the society girl, but wanted to sneak into another woman’s bed at night. She got back in bed, burrowed in under her pillows so that she couldn’t hear his voice begging her to open the door. Finally he went away.
She thought of the snug tipi she had shared with Hinzi among the Sioux. The wind blew around the big house, rattling the windows. Soon it would be the Moon of the Falling Leaves that whites called November. The first snow of the season might already be falling in the northern country of her people. She imagined herself curled up naked in a buffalo fur robe with Hinzi, making love before the campfire; trying to conceive a baby who would be born in the summer. She would not cry. She must not cry. Outside, the wind seemed to be doing it for her. Finally, she dropped off into a troubled sleep. The Eriksons didn’t seem to be a very happy family. But if this was the life Rand wanted, Kimi would try to be glad for him.
Kimi stared at herself in the morning light reflecting on the mirror. “Surely I’m not supposed to ride a horse in this outfit?”
“Of course,” Vanessa seemed amused by her astonishment. Then Kimi realized Rand’s sister was dressed in the same manner. Vanessa said, “It is a lovely outfit; one of my finest. I wouldn’t want my brother to think I wasn’t doing my very best to make his guest feel welcome.”
Kimi looked at her reflection again. She was dressed just like Vanessa in a dark hunting coat and long skirt, a jaunty top hat with a veil. Vanessa had lent her a pair of black boots; they were a bit too big since Kimi had such small feet, but she had stuffed some cotton in the toes.
Yes, even Rand would think she was prett
y in this. Perhaps she had misjudged his sister. “I want to thank you, Vanessa, for your kindness. I had thought you plotted to make me look bad.”
Vanessa fidgeted uneasily, and didn’t meet her gaze. “Come on. Lenore has already sent the horse over for you.”
From down in the front hall, she heard Rand call: “Come on you two! That whole hunt club is gathering out front.”
They went down the stairs. Dogs baying outside. Rand wore a scarlet coat and slapped a whip against his leg.
“Oh,” Kimi said with admiration, “I’d like a red coat, too.”
Vanessa laughed. “Mercy me, don’t be silly! Ladies aren’t allowed to wear pinks.”
“I didn’t say ‘pink,’ ” Kimi said, “I said ‘red.’ ”
“Kimi,” Rand said, “the coats are called ‘pinks,’ and Vanessa’s right; ladies don’t wear them.”
It dawned on Kimi abruptly that it must be like the scarlet sash of the Strongheart Society.
Rand paused and stared at Kimi.
“Your sister was kind enough to lend me an outfit,” Kimi said, pleased and happy at the admiration in his eyes.
Vanessa seemed to catch the electricity between the pair. “Too bad you won’t be staying long, Kimi. Someday you must come back for a visit. By then, Shelby and I will have Randolph Hall, and Rand will be master of Carstairs Oaks. It’s such a lovely place.”
“Vanessa,” he began, “about this double wedding, I–”
“Our guests are waiting,” Vanessa interrupted.
“You’re right,” Rand said, “perhaps this is not the proper time to discuss this.” He looked troubled and uncertain as he opened the door.
A large group of riders had gathered out past the flagstone veranda. Sure enough, the other women were similarly attired. Most of the men wore dark coats, but several, including Jon Erikson, wore scarlet. The trio went down the steps where black grooms stood holding the horses. A pack of spotted hounds yelped and ran around the yard, causing the horses to snort nervously and stamp their hooves. The huntsman in charge snapped his whip, trying to bring order to the confusion.
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