Something Like Love
Serendipitous Love Book #6
Christina C Jones
Warm Hues Publishing
Copyright © 2017 Christina C. Jones
Cover art by Christina Jones.
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to real locations, people, or events is coincidental and unintentional.
Author’s Note-
Okay so I think I got mixed up last time. Maybe this one is 30, not the last one. I’ve written a lot though, and this one… is a favorite.
I offer no disclaimers, or “warnings”, only a request to drop whatever expectations you maybe had for this story right here before you start, and allow Eddie’s journey with Astrid’s story be what it is… a love story between two people.
Or something like it.
…..
…
Sorry, LOL I couldn’t resist.
Anyway, thank you, as always for offering me your support through your consumption of the words contained in these pages.
Enjoy!
I’ll be at Indie Love Atlanta in June
& Behind The Pen New York in August!
one.
eddie.
This dating shit was for the birds.
I knew that before I ever stepped foot into Twilight with Jaslyn on my arm, but I’d gone ahead with it anyway because that was just me. I was Eddie. Dating was… what I did.
Not to mention, Jas was fine as hell, so without a pressing reason not to go – at least one I could articulate – I found myself in a low-backed booth with her damn near on my lap, taking full advantage of the sheer, midnight blue wall of curtains that separated each table.
This part, I could handle.
Her bare legs were crossed over one of mine, and I took full advantage of the opportunity to run a hand up one of them, squeezing near the top of her thigh as I pulled her closer. I dropped my head down, making her giggle as my mouth moved to her neck.
“So about all that shit you were talking before we ordered,” I teased, making her laugh again.
She reached up, manicured hands playing with the collar of my shirt, then playfully tugging at one of my locs. “I wasn’t talking shit… more like sharing my intentions.”
“I look forward to seeing you prove that.”
She grinned as her hand slipped down the front of my shirt, landing in my lap. “And I look forward to proving it.”
Damn.
Again – Jas was fine.
Pretty, soft brown sugar skin, lush curves, pretty face. Everything about her was polished – manicured hands and toes, sleek, copper-toned bob haircut that perfectly framed her face, impeccable makeup, sexy ass dress made from fabric that felt expensive to my fingertips. It was obvious that she took looking good as seriously as she took her profession – whatever the hell that was – and I was just grateful that, for the night at least, I was the recipient of her efforts.
I had every intention of showing her fine ass how much I appreciated it too.
“Are you two doing okay over here?”
Reluctantly, I looked away from Jas to nod at our server. “Yeah man. We’re good, thank you.”
“Glad to hear it. Again, I’m sorry about the wait time on the food, but I should have your orders out shortly. Can I get you drink refills or anything in the meantime?”
I nodded. “Actually, now that you mention it, let me get another Hennessey and Coke, and for the lady…” I turned to Jas with a question in my tone, to find her red-painted lips pressed together as she shook her head. “Nothing for the lady,” I told him when I turned back. “Just the Hennessey and Coke.”
“Yes sir, I’ll have that out to you in a moment.”
He left the table, and I returned my attention to Jas, intending to pick back up where we’d left off, only to find her looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes.
“So…” she started, swinging her legs off of my lap, but staying close beside me. “He was cute, right?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Who?”
Jas shook her head, sitting back into the cushioned seat of the bench as she pursed her lips. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
My eyebrow lifted higher, and the other one joined it. “I… nah, for real, I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
“The waiter,” she said, then sucked her teeth when I didn’t respond in what she must’ve considered a timely fashion, but hell… I was trying to call his face to mind. “Eddie,” she scolded. “Come on… I know you’re not going to sit here and act like you don’t remember what ol’ boy looked like.”
“He hasn’t exactly been the draw for my attention tonight, no. My bad. When he comes back, I’ll let you know.”
Those words were barely off my lips when the server in question came back, to deliver my drink. I thanked him, and when he was gone, I turned back to Jas, who was glaring at me hard enough to burn a hole into the side of my face.
“He’s an alright looking dude, I guess,” I told her, then took a swig from my glass.
That answer earned me around round of tooth kissing, and she crossed her arms. “Oh, so you’re going to bullshit me now?”
I almost choked at her response . “What’s with the attitude? I thought we were having a good time?”
“We were, yeah, until you decided to play me like a dummy. Really, as fine as homeboy is, you’re going to say he’s “alright looking, you guess?”
My frown returned. “Jas, listen – why don’t you just cut the bull and tell me what you’re really looking for here. I thought you were asking my opinion, but apparently we’re on different pages. Just be real, what’s up?”
“Me, be real?” She scoffed. “I should be saying the same thing to you! You were flirting with that man, but you’re really going to pretend to not even think he’s good-looking?! You don’t have to lie, Eddie, everybody already knows how you are.”
I looked at her for a few seconds, then finished off my drink. As I returned the glass to the table, my eyes followed, my gaze tracing the curves of the single round ice cube as I carefully considered my next words – a luxury I didn’t usually hand out, but I was trying to do better.
Truth was though, I was tired.
Tired of this same shit, over and over.
“How am I, Jas?” I asked, finally looking at her again. “Hmm? Why don’t you tell me what you already think you know, based on the total three hours we’ve spent with each other.”
“The streets talk,” she shot back. “Everybody knows you play for both teams.”
I scoffed. “Oh, so that’s why my innocent interaction with a man I was barely even paying attention to got turned into me “flirting”? No way I was just being polite, huh?”
“Maybe, but how am I supposed to know the difference?”
“The same way you would’ve known if the server was an attractive woman. You’re way too sexy to be pretending you’re dumb Baby Girl, it’s not a good look.”
She drew her head back, then scooted away, putting space between us. “Okay, wow. You don’t have throw insults, this is just… different for me.”
“And you throwing jabs about my sexuality, that’s just supposed to be cool? “This is different for you” like I’m a damn science experiment, that’s all good? Okay. Got it.”
“I wasn’t throwing any jabs,” she insisted, shaking her head. “I just…” she sighed. “I promise you, I don’t me
an anything negative when I say this, but… it’s different. Dating a man who has… been with… men… it’s hard to wrap my head around it without wanting to turn and run the other way.”
I shook my head. If I had a dollar for every time I’d heard this bullshit.
“So why are you even here?” I asked her. “If it bothers you so much, why did you agree when I asked you out?”
She looked at me like I was nuts. “Uh, because you’re you. Have you seen yourself?”
I couldn’t help it – annoyance aside, that shit made me smile, because I got it – I was pretty goddamn fine myself.
Before I could respond to that, our funny-looking server was back to deliver our food and ask about water refills. Neither of us said anything until we were alone at the table, and I glanced up to find Jas staring at me again.
“What is it?” I asked her. “Was I flirting again when I said yes to a refill on my water? That’s some secret undercover gay shit I didn’t get the memo about or something?”
She rolled her eyes. “I was actually going to apologize, if you’d like to stop being an asshole.”
“I’m good actually. I don’t need your apology.”
“But I want to give it,” she insisted. “I’m an open-minded person, and… being perfectly honest, I’ve had some girl-on-girl action, so who am I to judge, right?”
I gave her a dry laugh. “Yeah. Right.”
I looked at the tapas plates in front of us, but at this point, my interest in doing anything other than being somewhere else was low.
Very low.
“Eddie,” Jas said, putting her hand back on my thigh. “Let’s… press rewind. Can we do that? We were having a good time, and I don’t want a misunderstanding to ruin it.”
I nodded. “You’re right. We were having a good time. And I know you probably mean well, but I’m good on being a social experiment for you.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Wait, what? What do you mean?”
“I mean what I said. I asked you out because I saw a sexy, confident woman that I wanted to get to know better. I wasn’t signing up to be your test subject while you figure out if you’re really “open-minded” or not. If we run into somebody I used to deal with, are you going to be cool? Are you going to want to know my body count? Are you going to end up asking me if I “really” like women or not? I could run off this list forever, Jas, cause I’ve heard it all. And heard it enough to know… I’m good. Good luck to you though.”
I stood up, and while her mouth was still open, fished two hundred-dollar bills from my wallet to put down on the table. “I’ll see you around.” I told her, with a quick two-fingered salute, and then I was out, and thanking my lucky stars that we’d met here instead of arriving together, so I didn’t have to spare any energy making sure she got home.
That insecure bullshit she’d pulled with the flirting accusation had drained me enough.
Like I said – it wasn’t the first time I’d experienced this, and probably wouldn’t be the last. It was a constant frustration of not subscribing to the “acceptable” rule of human sexuality – you liked one gender, or you liked the other.
I wasn’t with that shit, and it was something I couldn’t help. Something I wasn’t sure I would help, even if I could. Genitalia aside, I was attracted to people, pulled along and enticed by their energy. I moved with where my intuition took me, and so far… my intuition had been really fucking wrong.
It was frustrating as hell to be out with someone you’re feeling, only to have them spend your time together trying to get you to prove a stereotype, trying to make the shit they made up in their head about you become the truth. Did I “play for both teams”? I mean, if that’s what you wanted to call it, whatever, yeah. Did I have a little reputation for sleeping around?… maybe that was true too.
But hell, in 2017, didn’t everybody?
Whatever the case was, I was sick as hell of being defined by those two truths that “everybody” knew, as if they were the sum of who I was. From people just looking for a nut, to people looking to “turn” me, to people looking to prove I was something I wasn’t, to people looking to prove they were something they weren’t… my “gut” had been leading me from bullshit to bullshit that smelled worse. And while I’d said I was over it before… tonight had just been confirmation of what I already knew.
This dating shit was for the birds.
&
“Mommy and Daddy want to see you. When should I tell them you’ll be home next?”
I shook my head at the screen of my cell phone, which was currently taken up by my sister’s face. It was even earlier in the morning for her than it was for me – too damn early, either way – evidenced by her makeup-free skin and the colorful, ikat-print scarf that covered her hair.
“Erika, you have to stop letting them play you like this. I just talked to your parents yesterday. They know I’ll be there for your graduation next month. This is their way of trying to pressure an earlier trip.”
She snickered. “Oh, they’re just my parents now?”
“When they’re doing shit like this, yes. What did they promise you to have you up this early doing their dirty work?”
On the screen, I saw her t-shirt clad shoulder lift. “There’s no “dirty work” involved. I just knew you’d be up at this time to go running, because you’re always up at this time to go running, even though you swear it’s too early.”
“It is too early.”
“Then go later.”
“I can’t go later, this is the best time of day to do it. Before the sun is up to cook my black ass, and before the rest of these people are up and in the way.”
She laughed. “Okay then, well stop complaining about shit you have no intention of changing. But that would be too much like right, wouldn’t it?”
“Whatever E. Let me let you go so I can hit these streets.”
“Okay,” she said, then grinned. “Hey though… so… are you bringing a date with you when you come down?”
I scoffed. “I’ll be there for three days. I don’t like anybody enough to spend three days straight entertaining them back at home. And I don’t hate anybody enough to subject them to three days straight of your parents.”
Except maybe…
Damn.
I shook my head, clearing away the thought of one irritating ass person who liked to invade my thoughts, uninvited as a muhfucka.
“Oooh, what was that about?” Erika asked, sitting up a little straighter. Her eyes had brightened over something, and that little grin on her face had spread wider. “You thought about somebody, didn’t you?”
I frowned. “What? Nah, can you mind your business though?”
“Innie or Outie this time?” she asked, and there was nothing I could do to stop the laugh that burst from my lips at that.
“You’re a damn fool.”
She sucked her teeth. “So you aren’t going to answer the question?”
“I’m not,” I told her, shaking her head. “Not because you can’t know, because this person… isn’t a factor. In anything.”
“But if they immediately came to mind for you… aren’t they though?”
“Bye Erika.”
She laughed, then tossed up two fingers at the screen. “Holla.”
When my screen had gone black again after ending the call, I tucked the phone into my armband pouch, then sat down at the end of the bed to pull my shoes on. Erika was right – I was up at five in the damn morning for a run, and I did think it was too damn early for it. But I was up and at it anyway.
A run every other day, and weights in between, to keep myself in – what I considered to be – prime physical condition. I liked to think that I had a decent sense of fairness. I couldn’t expect a certain level of “fine as hell” from the people I dated if I couldn’t meet that same standard myself.
I shook my head at that shit too though. At this point, staying in shape was for me, myself, and I, cause after that thing with Jas last
night, I was even more over it than I’d already been.
For a long time – most of my adult life, so far – I’d held the belief that our whole social construct around dating, relationships, marriage, was flawed. It felt pointless to me, so I never felt like I was missing much by not being involved in anything serious. I liked keeping things casual – as long as we vibed, we vibed, and when we didn’t anymore, fine – and despite the best efforts of my mother and a few select friends, I was good on monogamy, honestly.
Until Carter and Viv’s sappy asses.
Viv – Frenchy, as he called her – was a good friend of mine, had been since she moved onto the block. Pretty as hell, smart, ambitious, and with an accent… she was my kinda woman – platonically. Watching the connection she and Carter made, after listening to her confide in me on more than one occasion that she wasn’t sure she’d ever find the kind of love she wanted… I’d be loath to admit the shit to anybody else, but she had my perspective shifting.
Not like I was thinking about marriage, family, and all of that, but the serial dating, hit and quit shit that I’d been on for probably too long… it was feeling played out to me. I was starting to feel like I wanted something more, a connection on a deeper level. Not necessarily love… but maybe something like it.
“Yeah right,” I said out loud, then got up and headed out.
“Love. Really dude?”
I programmed something loud and ratchet and violent to play in my ears before I started a light jog to warm up my muscles. “Love” was a word that made me think of messiness and heartache, shit I wasn’t trying to deal with.
But again… I couldn’t deny the appeal of the deep connections that had grown around me, in various forms. Thing was, I really couldn’t even see that shit happening for me. For the last year – hell, two years – I hadn’t even made a connection that could last a few weeks, if that, let alone long term.
Everybody was annoying.
Wait.
Maybe that wasn’t the right word.
Whatever the proper way to express it was, it all came back down to… vibe. I hated to be a broken record, with the same shit over and over, but every person I’d been out with, man or woman, it was forced to some degree. On a real, for real level… it was never quite right.
Something Like Love (Serendipitous Love Book 6) Page 1