“I may not know everything about you,” he whispered, face still close to hers. “But I know that this is real. You said it yourself—we fit. You fit with me. I’ll be waiting for you when you come back. Don’t stay gone long, okay?”
Kate drove in silence for the full two hours it took to reach the city. She tried not to think about Rose Creek and all that she was driving away from, instead focusing on the meeting and the clients she would have to win back for Mr. Blanton. It was difficult to shift her mind into work mode after having been away for so long, but she persisted. When she reached the parking garage of her office building, she called Veronica and asked that she have the Charleston file ready so she could review it in the twenty minutes she had before the scheduled meeting. She was back in her element, her personal life drowned out by the rigors and challenges of her work.
The meeting went well. Kate managed to clinch the deal, negotiating a contract that Blanton couldn’t be happier with.
“It’s good to have you back, Kate,” he said after the meeting. “You made me miss you . . . really realize how much we need you around this place. Don’t forget that.”
Kate worked at her desk straight through the afternoon and late into the evening. She fielded phone calls and answered e-mails and brainstormed ideas for the new-product pitch list. At 6:45, Steve showed up at her office door.
“Well, it didn’t take you long to get back into the swing of things,” he said, smiling. “Why don’t you stop for the night and have some dinner.” He held up a bag of takeout, his eyebrows raised in question.
She glanced at her watch. “I didn’t realize it was so late,” she said. “Thanks, but I think I’ll just go home. It’s been a long day.”
“You have to eat, Kate. You haven’t been in your condo for a month. You think you’ll find something there? Come on, it’s Antonio’s—your favorite.”
Kate’s stomach growled. She hadn’t eaten all day, and the thought of dinner was rather enticing. But dinner with Steve? She was still irritated at his subversive attempt to edge her away from one of her biggest clients. She also couldn’t help but question his motives in bringing her dinner. Surely he wouldn’t attempt another define-the-relationship talk. Kate was sure she wasn’t up for that. The smell of Antonio’s famous ravioli with meat sauce finally won her over.
“All right,” she finally conceded. “I guess I do need to eat.”
“So how was your time in Rose Creek?” Steve asked as he handed Kate her food.
Kate hesitated. “It was good, I guess. Hard, but good.”
“Hard? What was hard about it?” Steve asked. “I mean, aside from the whole funeral and everything.”
Already, Kate felt like she’d said too much. This wasn’t something she felt like discussing with Steve. But then, to dance around the truth almost seemed more exhausting than laying it all on the table.
“My aunt left me the hundred-year-old family farmhouse in her will instead of giving it to her own daughter. The State Department of Transportation wants to bulldoze the house so they can build a highway, and everyone in my family pretty much wishes I’d stay in Atlanta forever. How’s that for hard?” Kate said.
Steve froze midbite, his fork poised in front of his mouth. “Wow,” he said. “That is hard.”
He finished his bite of ravioli then set his food on the edge of Kate’s desk so he could lean back in his chair. With his hands behind his head and his feet stretched out in front of him, Kate thought he looked far too relaxed to be discussing something that weighed so heavily on her mind.
“Here’s the thing though,” he began. “You don’t want to live in Rose Creek, do you? So sell the house to the DOT, use the proceeds to buy yourself a bigger condo, maybe upgrade your car a little bit, tell your family to shove off, and stay in Atlanta. All’s well that ends well, right?”
Kate was floored by his flippancy. “Shove off? This is my family we’re talking about and a house that’s been in the family for generations. A new car can’t compensate for losing all of that.”
“Oh, sure, sure,” he said. “I get it. I’m just saying, you do what you got to do, you know? You do what’s best for you.”
Kate didn’t know how to respond. She’d been doing just that for years, and where had it gotten her? She was tired, so very tired and wanted to go home. “Thanks for dinner, Steve,” she said. “But I’m tired. I think I’m just going to take the rest of this home.”
After a necessary run to the grocery store, Kate didn’t make it home to her condo until almost 9:00 p.m. She’d intentionally left her cell phone in the car all day, and once she was settled inside, she finally pulled it out to check her messages. Surprisingly, she had only one message—a text from Andrew. Survey is done. Fax or e-mail?
She responded to his message and gave him her e-mail address. Almost immediately, another text followed. You okay? She didn’t respond.
The most difficult thing about Leslie’s accusations from the night before was that Kate wasn’t entirely sure that Leslie had been wrong. Kate wanted to be the kind of person who could leave a high-paying job and move home to be there for her family no matter what. She wanted to be the kind of person someone like Andrew Porterfield could fall in love with. But she wasn’t. Even after she had made the decision to move home, she never did quit her job, never did anything to demonstrate her newfound commitments. Why not? Because I can’t really change. It isn’t me. Just as Leslie predicted, all Kate was, was the person who ran away.
Andrew’s survey was impeccably prepared. Kate was impressed as she read through it. He must have spent the entire day getting it ready. On an impulse, she reached for her cell phone to call him, wanting to hear his voice. But then she hesitated. Her mind jumped to a conversation they’d had in the car before dinner at the Spencers’ home.
“This religion, my faith . . . it’s who I am. It’s priority for me, for my wife, whoever she may be, and for my future family . . .”
Kate set her phone down, frustrated. Leslie’s comments had been a wake-up call for Kate in more ways than one. Andrew wanted a relationship with someone who shared his faith. He’d never hidden that from Kate. It’s why he’d waited so long to kiss her and really tell her how he felt. But what if she couldn’t be the person Andrew wanted and deserved? For the second time that evening, Kate felt overwhelmed with the pressure and confusion of not knowing who or what she wanted to be. She pressed her forehead into her hands and slowly massaged her temples.
For a brief moment, she considered not turning in the petition. Steve’s remark earlier that evening had been callous and rude. It had upset Kate at the time, but there was a bit of truth behind his statement. She could enter into negotiations with the state, sell the house, and be finished with Rose Creek once and for all. She still resented Leslie’s claim to be living in the house by the end of the summer. Her face flushed with anger every time she thought of it. Leslie couldn’t live in the house if Kate sold it to the state.
But that was a spiteful thought and completely unrealistic. Even in her darkest moments of frustration, Kate couldn’t bring herself to disrespect her family in such a way. There were too many reasons for the house to stay in the family, regardless of who ended up living in it.
So she worked late into the night finalizing the petition. Just before midnight, Kate finished and faxed it over to the Harrison County Board of Commissioners from her home phone line. It would be waiting for them first thing in the morning, a full day ahead of the Friday deadline. She had done the best she could, Kate was certain of that. Now all she could do was wait.
Linny called early the next morning.
“When are you coming back, dear?” she asked.
“I don’t know, Linny,” Kate answered. “I’ve been away from my job a long time. It may be awhile before I can return.”
“It was nice to see you and Leslie spending so much time together. I hope you don’t stay away too long.”
Kate laughed. “Yeah,” she scoffed. “
I’m sure Leslie would love it if I came back. You told me she needed me, Linny, but it isn’t true. She’d rather have the house over me any day.”
“That isn’t true,” Linny said. “Leslie’s been carrying around a chip on her shoulder against you for seven years. She doesn’t want to believe you’ve changed, Kate, because that means she would have to change too. Old habits die hard, don’t they?”
“It’s more complicated than that,” Kate said.
“It is not complicated. You did change the month you were here. I watched it happen. I saw the light in your eyes, the love you found for the children. Don’t let Leslie push you into a corner, Katie. Don’t let her convince you that all you can ever be is the person you left in Atlanta when Mary died. You’re better than that, and don’t you forget it when you get back to working that fancy job of yours.”
But Kate wanted to forget. She welcomed the emotionally numbing sensation of losing herself in her work. She poured herself into design meetings and pitch ideas, client lunches, and presentations. She spent very little time at home and even less time thinking about her family. Her friends were glad to have her back, filling what little time she spent out of the office with social gatherings and events, after-dinner drinks, and late-night shows. Steve’s attentions to Francine Weston on the third floor diminished as he opted to spend more time with Kate. She didn’t necessarily welcome the attention. But being around Steve was easy. He didn’t make her question things like Andrew did; he didn’t require her to be anything beyond shallow. With Steve, her emotions could remain comfortably and firmly superficial. She could be present without being invested. An empty life? Yes. But it was easy. And Kate was ready for a little bit of easy.
One week back in Atlanta, and Kate’s life had slipped back into all of its old patterns and habits. On the outside, all appeared to be just as it was six weeks ago, and for the most part, all was the same. The only thing different was Kate. Rose Creek had changed her and given her a glimpse of a much richer life than she had experienced in the city. When she slowed down enough to think about it, she found herself feeling detached and empty, like she was pouring water into a bottomless glass.
Andrew had called twice since she’d been gone. The first time, she answered, anxious to hear his voice. But she felt guilty encouraging any relationship. She wasn’t what he needed. She couldn’t be. When he called a second time, she silenced her phone and let the call go to voice mail. Linny called more frequently—almost every day. Kate ignored her calls as well. They finally spoke on Friday night, a little more than a week after Kate left Rose Creek.
She was out to dinner with a few coworkers when Linny called, and she almost ignored it just as she had all the others, but the mindless bantering of her friends was getting under her skin. For once, she actually welcomed the distraction of a phone call.
“I have to take this,” she said to her friends. “If you’ll excuse me . . .”
Kate grabbed her cell phone and slipped out the front door. “Hi, Linny,” she said. “How are you?”
“I’m stunned that you actually answered your phone,” Linny said. “Have you not gotten my messages, child? What’s a woman got to do to get you to call her back?”
“I got them, Linny. I guess I’ve just been busy. Work has been busy.”
The words felt familiar as they glibly slipped from her mouth. She’d delivered the same excuse to Mary over and over every time she’d called. She was always too busy. And then what had happened? Mary had died, and nothing Kate could do or say would ever change that fact.
“I’m sorry, Linny,” Kate quickly added. “I should have called you back. How are things?”
“Well, I was at the store with Leslie’s children this afternoon, and we ran into that friend of yours—Andrew.”
Kate perked up. “Really? Did you speak to him? How is he doing?”
“We spoke,” Linny said. “Emily recognized him and ran straight up to say hello. He seems like he’s doing all right. Are the two of you not speaking anymore?”
“It’s been a few days,” Kate said. Six, she thought to herself. It’s been six days since we spoke last.
“Well, he asked about you,” Linny said. “Told me to pass along his regards the next time I talked to you. I told him I’d try, but I’d need more than a hill of beans’ worth of luck to get you to answer your phone. Imagine my surprise when you answered tonight.”
“How did he look, Linny? Did he look all right?”
“He didn’t say as much, but I think he looked a little sad. What did you do to the poor man, Katie? Although,” she added, “maybe it’s better for it to end, what with his religion and all. He’ll find a nice Mormon girl, and we’ll find you someone right here in Rose Creek, someone to take you down to the Methodist church—”
“No, Linny,” Kate interrupted her. “I’m not coming back. Not ever.”
Linny was silent. “Oh, don’t be so rash. You don’t really mean that, dear.”
“I do mean it,” Kate said. “It’s better this way, better for me to stay in the city.”
“Don’t say that. Do you know the children ask about you every day? They’ve had too many people disappear from their lives. Don’t you do it to them, Katie. They need you. Have you thought about the children at all?”
Of course Kate had thought about the children, but the conversation was too much. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t face everything and everyone who came with Rose Creek.
“I’m sorry, Linny. I’ve got to go now. I’m out with friends, and they’ll start to wonder where I am. I’ll call you another time, okay?” She hung up the phone without waiting for Linny’s reply.
She returned to the restaurant and tried to engage herself in the conversation, but her heart wasn’t in it. Really, her heart wasn’t much of anywhere. She didn’t fit in Rose Creek, but this didn’t feel right either. She felt like a stranger in a strange land.
Kate had only looked at Ian’s journal one time since she’d left Rose Creek. She’d read an entry about the night he learned about his father’s death and how desperate he had felt. He had used those words—called himself a stranger in a strange land. But the similarities ended there. Kate wasn’t strong like Ian.
As she left the restaurant that evening and drove home alone, she thought of the warmth and security she had felt in the Spencers’ home—a feeling unlike anything she’d ever experienced anywhere else. She’d mentioned to Steve over lunch the previous day that she’d spent some time with a Mormon family while she was back in Rose Creek.
“The neighbors across the street where I grew up were Mormon,” he had said. “Nice enough family, I guess, though if you ask me, that’s a miserable way to go through life.”
“Miserable how?” Kate had asked.
“Come on, Kate,” he had responded. “To never get to kick back and have a drink, live it up a little? I wouldn’t sign up for it.”
Miserable was the last word Kate would ever use to describe the Spencers. In the one short evening she’d spent with the entire family, Kate had felt more support and love than she could ever really quantify. She wondered what they thought of her hasty departure. Surely they were disappointed, Kate thought. Them, and everyone else in Rose Creek.
Chapter 31
Over the next two weeks, things got a little easier for Kate. Linny still called every day, but Kate didn’t make the mistake of answering again. As long as she didn’t think about Rose Creek, she felt like she could keep her emotions at an even keel. She wasn’t happy, but the emptiness in her heart had diminished to a dull ache. She imagined with time it might subside completely.
And then she got a text from Andrew.
In town for a job interview. Can I drop by to say hi?
She readily agreed. How could she not? Distracted by the anticipation of seeing him again, Kate couldn’t focus on her work. Instead, she turned to the little prisms of afternoon sunlight that danced across the smooth surface of her desk. Leaning back in her chair, sh
e watched a pair of pigeons perched on the ledge outside her window. Oh, to have your wings, she thought.
She didn’t know how she would feel when she saw Andrew again. She still thought of him all the time, every day even. But it had been weeks since they’d spoken in person. She was nervous, anxious to see him, but worried that she had hurt him and worried to hear of the disappointment that he surely felt over her recent actions.
Her phone buzzed, and she heard Veronica’s voice. “You’ve got a call, Ms. Sinclair. A woman who says she’s your aunt?”
Kate sighed. “All right,” she said. “Put her through.”
“Kate, is that you?” Linny said loudly. Kate wondered how many different operators Linny had spoken with before finally reaching her. She’d never called Kate at the office before.
“I’m here, Linny,” Kate said. “Is everything all right?”
“Oh, well, I guess so. I thought I’d go crazy trying to get you on the phone. You know, if you’d just answer your cell, it wouldn’t be such an ordeal.”
“I’m sorry, Linny. I’ve just needed some time to think about things.”
“I don’t need to hear your excuses, dear. I’ve got you now. That’s all that matters. Listen, the commissioners are going to vote on the petition tomorrow evening. Are you coming?”
Kate knew about the voting. She’d received notice from the commissioners office the week before.
“I don’t know, Linny. I’m not sure I can get away from the office in time.”
“Katie, now you listen to me. You’ve been ignoring me for three weeks, and that’s fine. I’m tough and can handle it. But you need to be there for this hearing. You may have the opportunity to say something. They need to see how serious you are about saving that house.”
“Linny, they’ll either accept the petition or deny it. I don’t see how my presence will make a difference one way or the other.”
The House at Rose Creek Page 22