by Alex Pitt
The only problem then was, I didn’t know what to do. It would have looked extremely petty if I’d gone back five minutes later, so I’d decided to go to the cinema. I didn’t have any real interest in seeing the film, but it filled up two and a half hours, which meant that I could go back now, having made a statement.
My dad was pretty chill most of the time, but it was mainly my mum who was the nightmare. She had a go at me for literally everything. She bossed me around, ordered me to do things, complained when they hadn’t been done right, and I was fed up of it. I understood that I needed to pull my weight around the house, but the only time she let me have a break from revision was to scrub the dishes or wash the car. I thought my head was about to explode.
It was almost ten by the time I’d been let out of the cinema, and I began the walk home. It was a nice warm night, so I’d thought I’d take my time. I wouldn’t rush.
Passing the strip club, I glanced at the signs. I’d often wanted to try and sneak in, but the bouncers looked way too tough for me, and it wasn’t really worth the trouble. I’d probably go when I turned eighteen but, for now, the internet was good enough. Hadn’t Rachel, the girl who was murdered, worked at the strip club? I didn’t watch the news that much, but I’d heard people talking about it.
“Hey,” a voice called from the alley running alongside the strip club.
Turning my head, I noticed a shadow leaning against the wall, one boot pressed against it, the other on the ground. He had a bike jacket on, but no bike to be seen, as well as several tattoos covering his body. Rings were supported on several of his fingers, and his teeth were yellow and rotting. If this had been any other day, I’d have probably walked on by. However, he’d spotted me on this one particular day, the day where I’d find any excuse to delay going home.
“What do you want?” I asked icily, stepping up to him.
“You want some gear, kid?” the man questioned, closing one eye and opening the other alarmingly wide.
“No, thank you,” I told him.
“You sure?” he sniggered, spraying spit at me.
“Yes, thanks,” I spoke firmly, deciding it was probably for the best if I left, deciding I shouldn’t have approached him in the first place.
Digging in his pocket, he took out a bag. I’d never seen it before in person, but I knew exactly what it was. If he was seen flaunting it in public, he’d be in serious trouble, and so would I.
“Put that away,” I hissed, but he was adamant I was going to buy it from him.
“Tell you what,” he said, smiling at the thought in his head. “A hundred quid and this beauty’s all yours. Real bargain, that.”
“I’m not taking your drugs,” I told him, but even as I said it, there was hesitation in my voice.
My mum’s wispy tone came floating through the air, piercing my ear drums, reminding me of what I had to look forward to when I got back. Perhaps a little cocaine would help take some of it away.
“I don’t have a hundred quid,” I said, rummaging around in my pocket.
I probably would have if I went to the cashpoint, but I didn’t think I fancied forking out for some drugs that I might not take anyway.
“Eighty quid then?” the man asked hopefully, but I shook my head.
I took a twenty and a few tens out of my pocket, and straightened them out.
“Fifty quid, that’s all I’ve got.”
“Deal,” the man said and, before I knew it, he’d ripped the money from me, planted the drugs in my hand, and raced away, afraid of being caught.
“What just happened?” was my response, staring down at the drugs.
As it turned out, I was too much of a pussy to take them. I was scared of what would happen, what it would feel like, getting caught, getting hooked on it. So many things came with taking cocaine, and I didn’t think it was worth the trouble. Sure, it might have made the world a happier place for an hour, but at what cost?
I knew that my mum snooped around in my room occasionally, and I had to get rid of the drugs. Throwing them away was out of the question, in case they were picked up by the cops or the bin men. They’d have my DNA all over them by now. I decided the best place to part with them would be the party, and that’s when I’d handed them to Daisy.
As soon as Sam let us in, I splintered off from the group. I knew that I had to get rid of them by giving them to someone who was likely to snort it all and not rat me out, and I thought it was best to do this as soon as possible, so I could actually enjoy the rest of the evening.
I was standing on the landing, a few people milling around, trying to find out who to give it to, when Daisy came to use the bathroom. I quickly shoved the drugs back in my pocket, but it was too late. She’d seen them.
“Vince,” she exclaimed, shocked. She didn’t think it was like me at all, and it wasn’t. I was angry that I’d been stupid enough to accept them, and angry at loosing fifty quid over it.
Anyway, I explained the whole story to Daisy, and she understood. She knew why I’d taken them, why I had to get rid of them, and why I was panicking over it. Calmly, she led me to the bathroom, and told me she needed them.
“I need the drugs, Vince,” Daisy informed me, a sweet smile on her face. That bloody smile was toxic. Everyone loved it, including me.
“Does Jack know?” I frowned, worried about what he’d think.
“No, and I don’t want him to. He doesn’t need to know. I like him, but my life is my own and I can do what I want with it.”
All things considered, I probably wouldn’t have given her the drugs. But that’s with the benefit of hindsight, after she’d overdosed on them and almost died.
She had her reasons for taking the drugs, and it wasn’t any of my business. If she wanted to tell Jack, she would. If not, then she wouldn’t. I had to get rid of them and I could see in her eyes that Daisy was serious. She wanted these drugs, she was almost desperate for them.
She hadn’t come upstairs looking for drugs. She’d come upstairs to use the bathroom but, now that she had a bag of cocaine as an option, that was good enough. She was looking for an escape, in any way she could.
I handed her the bag, she grinned at me, and then kicked me out of the bathroom. As soon as that happened, I stared at the door, wondering if I’d made a huge mistake. Cocaine could have serious impacts on people, as I’d come to find out that evening, but all I could think about in that moment was freedom.
So, as I stood in Jack’s living room, confessing to what I’d done, I could see the fury in his eyes. He was livid at me, and I didn’t blame him at all. I’d been stupid, foolish, thoughtless, and Daisy could have died because of me. If only that man had never approached me, none of this would have happened.
But he did, and I’d taken the drugs from him.
Stupid, stupid me.
Chapter Twenty-One
I had trusted Vince since I first met him. He was one of my closest friends, and this felt like the ultimate betrayal. I had listened to his story, and it sounded like bullshit. He wanted to drug Daisy up so that hopefully she’d sleep with him instead of me. He’d bought the drugs intending to give them to her.
But if I looked deep into my heart, I knew he’d told me the truth. I was just angry because of what the consequences had brought. I still trusted him. I knew he’d made a mistake, but I couldn’t forgive him for giving them to her. He knew that taking cocaine could have serious implications, and he’d chosen to push that over to Daisy, instead of keeping them to himself.
“You fucker,” I screamed, punching Vince straight in the face.
Vince was a nice person most of the time, but he could also be vile. He had a nasty temper and had a tendency for his mood to change with the push of a button. This time, he just took the punch. He didn’t lash back. He took the punch and then smiled, and that made me feel so guilty.
Scooter held my arms, disabling me from attacking Vince again. I deserved one punch on him, but I probably wouldn’t lash out a second time
.
“I’m fine,” I grunted and Scooter let go, believing me.
Scooter and Tom had listened to Vince’s story just as I had, and they looked equally as shocked. Vince had never been one to take drugs. It’s true that he didn’t actually snort the cocaine, but he’d still paid the money for them. That wasn’t like him at all. His parents must have really got to him if he bought drugs because of them.
“Right, so are we good?” Vince asked, wiping his bloody nose on his sleeve and holding out his hand.
“No, we are not good,” I told Vince, curling my lip.
Scooter and Tom nodded approval, and I could tell they were on my side. I was glad about that.
“Fine, Jack. That’s just fucking fine.”
He pointed a finger at me, about to threaten me. I puffed my chest out and moved closer to him, so that his finger was jabbing into my ribs.
“You got something to say?” I asked my former friend, but he backed away and shook his head.
“Look, Jack, I made a mistake. I would never have given her the drugs if I knew she’d overdose on them. Most people probably wouldn’t have had a reaction like that on the amount she took, but everyone’s different. I didn’t know. I just did what I thought was right. Daisy was the one asking for the drugs, so be angry with her.”
Vince was right. I should have shifted more of my anger off of Vince and onto Daisy because she had been the one to ask for the drugs and she had been the one to take them. Deep down, I loathed Daisy for that, but I also couldn’t be angry with her. I just couldn’t.
“Jack?” her soft voice called from the stairs.
I turned around and there she was, hands pressed to the bannister, her painted pink toenails poking through the gaps. She was looking beautiful again, and it was hard to think of the way she’d been last night. It was like she was a completely different person.
“Hey,” I smiled, and I could feel Vince watching me.
“That’s it, suck up to her, mate.”
“Watch it,” Scooter warned him, and Tom moved in to back him up.
“I’m sorry,” Daisy said, looking first at me, then at Vince. “I didn’t want any of this to happen. I guess you told him?”
Vince nodded, and Daisy sighed. Her chest rose and fell and I watched it for a moment, then moved my eyes back up to hers. They were so golden, the sunlight reflecting on them through the door.
“Look, Vince had the drugs. For whatever reason, he had them. But I asked for them. He was looking for someone to give them to, and I asked. It was my decision, not his.”
“But why ask for them?” Tom frowned. That was the question we all wanted answered.
Vince looked sheepishly at the floor, and I wondered if he knew more than he’d told me. Had Daisy confessed all of her deep, dark secrets to him, but not to me?
“Don’t look at me like that,” Vince snarled, noticing my stare. “She didn’t tell me anything.”
“He’s telling the truth, Jack. I asked for them because I wanted to try them. There’s nothing else to it really. I wanted an escape. I thought drugs might be the answer. I only ever intended for it to be a one-night experience, and I’m definitely never touching the stuff again.”
She turned her nose up and stuck her tongue out in a child-like manner. I couldn’t help but laugh, despite all that was happening.
“So, last night. The conversation we had. You were drugged up while saying it?”
“Yes, obviously,” Daisy spoke harshly. “But I’ve already told you, I meant it. I remember everything we said to each other, everything we almost did, and it was my own choice. I’m off the drugs and completely sober now, but I’m still saying I meant it.”
“Alright,” Scooter said, clapping his hands. “I don’t think we’ll get anywhere bickering like this. Daisy is fine, that’s the important thing. You can be pissed off with Vince for a while if you like. I know I will be, but it’s in the past now, and Daisy is fine.”
I nodded agreement. I could always count on Scooter to be the word of reason. Daisy hopped down the few remaining stairs and swung round the banister, landing in front of me.
“Nice house,” she admired, looking around. “It’s cosy.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, feeling slightly awkward. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say to them.
“Breakfast?” Scooter asked, just as Tom’s tummy made a loud grumble.
We all laughed, and I was glad I hadn’t completely lost all of my friends. I’d forgive Vince eventually, and the group would be fine. Daisy and I would be fine as well.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Scooter added, jogging to the fridge and opening it. “Jackpot. Bacon and eggs. Do you mind?” He asked that last question to me and I pointed at them, indicating that it was fine.
Scooter made the breakfast for us all, and we sat around the living room eating it and drinking orange juice. I didn’t like how silent everyone was; it made me uncomfortable. At the same time, I didn’t have a clue what to say.
“Shall we go out later?” Tom asked, and it was a good idea. I think we needed it.
“Yeah, but the shops won’t be open for a while,” I said, looking at the digital clock on the Blu-Ray player. “It’s only just gone seven.”
“Well, we could all do with changing clothes,” Scooter added, pointing to the outfits we were wearing.
“Me and Tom brought some spares,” Vince informed me, and I glanced at him, realising that my anger was already diminishing.
“Great,” I shrugged. “I’ll clear up. The rest of you get showered and changed. Then we’ll head out.”
They did just that, apart from Daisy. She didn’t have any spare clothes with her, and she’d have had a job fitting into my mum’s wardrobe. I’d washed her top though, so she’d be fine until she got home.
“I’d better call my parents,” Daisy whispered in my ear, and that was the first time I’d thought of it.
“Oh, shit. They must be worried sick.”
“No, don’t worry. I told them I might not come home last night, because I didn’t know how the night would pan out. They were sort of expecting me, but not really at the same time.”
Daisy took out her phone and opened her contacts. Dialling her mum, she pressed the phone to her ear. I could hear it ring out a few times, then a soft voice on the other end. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, only Daisy.
“Hi, Mum… yes, I’m fine… yeah, the party was good… Uh-huh… shit, are you OK? Fuck… sorry for swearing… seriously, shall I come back now? OK, I’ll be there soon… you should have rung me if you needed me… alright, bye.”
Daisy hung up the phone, tears bubbling from her eyes.
“What’s happened? Is she OK?” I asked, sitting her down and putting an arm around her.
“No, Jack, she’s not OK.”
“What happened?”
Pausing for a second, Daisy said, “My mum has cancer,” and I felt the whole world stop.
Now I understood what she was going through. That must be awful for her.
“She didn’t tell me for a while,” Daisy continued, sniffing back tears. I handed her the box of tissues and she picked one up, dabbing her eyes. “She kept it from me for weeks, but I found a letter in my house. The letter told her she had cancer, and I found it ages before she actually told me herself. Finally, last week, my mum told me the news and I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I could, because I’d read the letter, but it was still hard. She had to tell me last week because she was going for her first round of chemotherapy, and I’d probably notice when her hair started falling out.”
She cried harder at this, and I wrapped my arms tighter around her body.
“She’s been feeling extremely poorly since I left yesterday. It’s just a side effect, but she feels like death. I need to go home and see her. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Daisy,” I whispered, holding her close. “I’ll come with you.”
Daisy shook her head ferociously, but I was
determined. I’d go with her and introduce myself to her mother. Maybe her dad too, if he wasn’t working. It would be a nice gesture. I’d even stop at the shop on the way, and pick up some flowers.
“You’re too good to me, Jack,” Daisy whispered, when I told her the plan.
She brushed my cheek and I thought we were about to kiss again, our first sober kiss, but she planted her lips on my cheek instead. They were soft and wet, and they felt so nice. Being with her was nice.
I told Scooter, Vince and Tom the change of plan. I told them about the cancer, after asking for Daisy’s permission, and they were completely understanding.
We left ten minutes later, and I jotted down a note for my mum which I stuck to the front door with blu-tac. I didn’t say much, but explained what had happened, where I was, and that I was looking forward to seeing her later. Then, as promised, I stopped off at the corner store and purchased a bouquet of the nicest flowers I could find.
Walking up to the door, I was nervous. I’d been here before, but now I was actually going to meet her parents. It was always a scary prospect, meeting your girl’s parents for the first time. Having said that, there was one question I needed answering before we went in.
“Daisy,” I said, and she stopped in her tracks.
“Yes, Jack?” she asked and, despite her eyes that were still flooded with tears, she fluttered her lashes at me and pouted her lips.
“Are we together? Like, are you actually my girlfriend now?”
It was an important detail that I had to know. We’d said that we liked each other, but never made it official, and Daisy laughed when I asked the question.
Intertwining her fingers with mine, she stepped on her tip-toes and kissed me.
“Yes, Jack. I am your girlfriend.”
There was a hint of sadness in her voice, like she wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea, but most of it was happiness. She was happy, and so was I.