by Alex Pitt
“What about the strips of flesh that were missing?”
“Oh,” he laughed. “Those were her punishment. She was already dead but I hadn’t run her over or smashed her with a pipe like I had with Rachel, so I needed to do something fun instead. A bit pointless because she was dead, but I enjoyed doing it.”
“I’ve heard enough of this shit,” Richard said, standing up and getting ready to leave.
Davies had been completely silent throughout it all, but the two of us dragged Chen to a cell and locked him away. There may be further questions we had to ask him down the road, but the tape recorder had been switched on and we’d been given plenty of evidence to sentence Chen to jail. His decree was life in prison.
Taking out his phone, Richard rang Jack and told him everything that Chen had told us.
The following day, taking Richard up on his offer, we went and had a drink. We felt so sorry for all the people this man had affected, but we were so glad it was over at last.
Chapter Forty-One
July 6th 2017
“Tell me about her, Jack.”
Tears were streaming down my face and I was so embarrassed. I couldn’t believe I was crying in front of this woman, but I’d been holding it in ever since I’d been told the news a few weeks ago. I kept a straight face in front of my mum, Daisy’s parents, my friends, but now I was in front of someone who I could weep in front of, and she was here to help me.
“She was amazing, she really was.”
I picked a tissue up off her desk and dabbed my eyes. I needed this, but it was still embarrassing.
My mum decided I had to see someone. I wasn’t talking to her about what had happened, choosing to lock myself in my room for hours on end. It wasn’t healthy to bottle it all up, so she sent me here. The only thing was, it was in the same building he had worked in.
Of course, after it had all come out and been broadcast on the news, everyone knew everything. People knew where he worked, but the staff tried to keep it on the down-low so it didn’t affect business. It wasn’t their fault they’d hired a rapist and a murderer.
Maybe I should feel bad for stepping into the building he’d worked in, sitting in a chair and confessing my problems, just like she’d done, but it was a comfort. It made me feel close to her again, and that’s what I needed.
Chen Zhang had been sentenced to life in prison, but even that wasn’t long enough. It wasn’t just what he’d done to Daisy, but to the other girls as well. And all of the people surrounding them. He had destroyed so many lives, and for what? What had he got out of it?
Richard rang me straight after Chen had confessed and told me everything. I was so angry inside, but he was getting what he deserved so I couldn’t do much more than that. He ended the call by saying that if I ever needed him, I could call him. He said he’d always make time for me. That was nice. He seemed like a cool guy.
“I know this is hard to believe, Jack,” Mary, my therapist, told me, “But it will get better. Not tonight, or tomorrow, or this year, but one day it will all be over.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’m not trying to downplay what happened at all. It was a horrific tragedy, but people will move on. You’ll move on and her parents will move on, but it might take a while.”
“I’ll never forget her,” I sniffed.
“And she wouldn’t want you to. I’m sure she loved you, Jack. From everything you’ve told me, her suicide boils down to guilt. She was depressed at the same time, but she was afraid of hurting you by admitting the truth.”
“She should have told me anyway. She shouldn’t have been scared of Chen. I wouldn’t have thought any less of her if she’d just told me what was happening.”
“And, for whatever reason, she didn’t think she could. The important thing is, you know what happened and Chen’s been arrested for it. If you keep going over why she did it, you’ll torture yourself. She wants you to move on from her.”
“You’re right.”
I knew she was right, but it was hard. So bloody hard.
Still, I couldn’t look backwards. I had to move forwards. And, to be honest, I was nowhere near as bad as her parents were. I’d checked up on them a few times since it had happened, and they looked soulless. They’d lost two daughters now. How could Daisy…
No, I had to stop saying that. Mary was right. I had to move on from this.
“Her funeral’s tomorrow,” I said.
“Are you ready for it?”
“Yeah. I guess I kind of have to be. Her parents aren’t ready, but I want to support them. They’re amazing people. They don’t deserve any of this. They’ve asked me to make a speech.”
“A speech?”
“I said I didn’t want to, but they insisted and it’s probably for the best. They said that Daisy had never been happier than when she was with me. I’ve been preparing, writing down a few notes, but I’m not going to use them. I’m just going to say what comes to me at the time.”
“That’s a good plan,” she said, checking her watch. “Blimey, Jack, the hour’s up already.”
“Right,” I muttered, barely paying attention.
“It was nice to meet you,” Mary smiled, showing her pearly white teeth. “I am so sorry about what happened but good luck tomorrow. We’ll meet again at the same time next week, yeah?”
I nodded dumbly, gathered my things, and headed out of her office.
I still felt weird, walking down the corridor to the lifts. She would have paced the same line many times. I even knew which one his office was. I could barely bring myself to look, but I did anyway. It was empty. His things had been cleared out, and all that was left was the wooden desk and a chair behind it.
Tears had dried to my cheeks and I wiped them away. I was going to be strong, for her. Despite her putting me through this, I still loved her. Our love grew so fast but it was so strong, and I’d never forget it. She’d given me a future to look forward to and then crushed it, but I’d treasure the memories forever.
I’d always remember her smile, the way she fluttered her eyelashes at me, her soft voice, the laugh that sent chills down my spine. Daisy was ugly on the inside, but so beautiful on the outside. I only wished I could have saved her, made her better, taken away all the pain in her life.
Scooter was waiting for me outside the building. He was actually riding his red scooter that day, approaching me and giving me a man-hug. They’d all been so supportive since it had happened. I couldn’t ask for better friends.
“You alright?” he asked me, loosening his grip and clutching the handlebars.
“I’m fine,” I smiled, trying to convince him.
“Come on, mate, let’s go back to mine. My mum’s making pasta for dinner.”
“God, that sounds so good right now.”
My tummy did a little rumble as I said that, and it was a reminder that I hadn’t eaten properly in weeks.
As we walked off down the road, the two of us, feeling the heat on my neck and Scooter’s presence beside me, I felt a shimmer of hope.
I would never forget Daisy, that was impossible. She’d had too much of an impact on my life. But maybe, just maybe, one day I would move on.
I’d have a life, children, marriage, a house, all with someone else. I was expecting it to take time, but Scooter, Vince and Tom would help me. Clasping my best friend on the back, we set off to his house. I could almost smell the pasta.
Maybe, even after everything that had happened, the future would be bright.
Epilogue: The Speech
The funeral was horrible. I had to watch as they lowered her coffin into the ground. I was shaking, and so were her parents. Her mum had a tissue clutched in her hand and her dad had a miserable look plastered to his face.
I could see just how much misery Chen had caused, and it wasn’t fair on any of us.
It was traditional to have a party after a funeral, but it didn’t seem right to me. I could understand it for people who’d died from old
age or natural causes, as a way to celebrate their life, but Daisy was only seventeen and she’d had some horrible things happen to her the past two years.
Still, her parents wanted this, and everyone went along with it. I met many of her other relatives, her aunts, uncles, cousins, as well as some of her school friends. It wasn’t easy, seeing them all, having to explain who I was to most of them. I was the boyfriend who’d allowed Daisy to kill herself.
That wasn’t fair on me, I knew it wasn’t, but I could tell some of them were thinking it.
After I’d eaten four sausage rolls and downed half a bottle of coke, I had to catch some air. I went out and sat on the hill, overlooking the town. This was the chosen venue and it was a lovely area, but it made me sad. Daisy would have loved the view.
I kept thinking about the day in the field, just before her suicide happened. I wished I could go back there, change some things I said, say some things I didn’t say. All in all, I just needed her to know that I loved her.
“You OK, bud?” Daisy’s father, asked, coming up beside me.
I nodded, but couldn’t bring myself to make eye-contact. He sat down next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Thanks for everything you’ve done for us recently. I know it can’t have been easy, but we appreciate it.”
“Anytime,” I smiled, finally looking at him.
I did feel sorry for him. We didn’t know what would happen to his wife, whether she’d make it through chemotherapy, but I had my fingers crossed for them both and I’d keep in constant contact.
“You’re up, if you’re ready for it.”
I nodded and told him I was.
Despite all the misery he was feeling, I was glad he’d come to see me. We could be there for each other.
“Where do I even begin?” I asked nervously, standing at the head of the table and facing the crowd.
I had a drink in my hand, and so did everyone else. We were going to make a toast for this amazing girl. The girl whose portrait was next to me, as well as childhood photos of both her and Ruby on a screen behind me. They looked like a happy family at one point, and that made my heart ache even more for them all.
“Daisy was an amazing girl. I knew that right from the moment I saw her.”
A few cheers, mainly from Scooter, Vince and Tom.
“She came into English and she sat next to me and she said she was deciding whether or not to take it. A few weeks later, I came to her house and she had the books piled on her desk. She’d decided to take the subject. It’s a shame she’ll never make it there now. I know Miss Edwards will be upset.”
This was bringing back memories and the tears started again, but I ploughed through it anyway.
“We had so many memories together in the short time we knew each other. I wouldn’t change them for the world, I really wouldn’t. Daisy was such a bundle of joy, despite everything going on. Sure, she was sad sometimes, but she had so much energy and lit up the room with her smile. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but, Daisy,” I said, facing the portrait of her and speaking as if she was in the room. “I want you to know that I love you. I’ve never known love like it, and it will be a long time before it happens again.”
People were listening intently, most sobbing, some sipping from their glasses.
“And thanks to her parents for being so supportive of our relationship. I wish she could have met my mum properly, but I was never granted with that. God, there are so many things I need to say to you, Daisy. Please, just give me that. Just give me one more day with you.”
I was almost unable to speak through the tears streaming down my cheeks, but I was close to finishing and I had to get it all out.
“Here’s to Daisy,” I said, raising my glass and inviting other people to do the same. “Here’s to the wonderful, amazing, talented, brave young girl, who has gone from this world too soon.”
Raising the glass to my lips, I muttered one final saying, one final quote, wishing against all odds that she would come waltzing through the door and into my arms.
I said: “Here’s to the fools who dream,” then I closed my eyes, and drank.
I would say ‘The End,’ but that would be far from the truth.
Jack’s story lives on after you’ve turned the final page, and so does everything else. Life is one big story, just waiting to be told. That’s my job. I’m going to tell them all.
Fools Who Dream was my first novel, but far from my last. In fact, I already have ideas for a second book.
I won’t say much, but you can expect it sometime in 2018.
I hope I haven’t hurt your heart too much. I hope you’re alright. I hope you enjoyed the adventure as much as I enjoyed writing it. Perhaps that’s the wrong word to use, but Jack went on such an emotional journey and I hope you loved it like I did.
I promise you something else, more adventures are coming. So, until next we meet, stay safe, have fun, and don’t visit anyone unless you’re sure they’re safe.
Fools Who Dream:
Started writing in May 2017.
Finished writing on October 6th 2017.