So he set her loose. But silently, he vowed to see what he could do about that.
18
THE NEXT MORNING, VERONICA NEARLY STEPPED ON a cellophane-wrapped bouquet of scarlet tulips that tumbled into her bedroom when she opened the door to go downstairs. For a moment she stared down at the bundle of blossoms as if it were a snake poised to strike. Then, with a shake of her head, she slowly bent down to pick it up.
There were at least a dozen flowers, and she worked her fingers to the center of the bunch to retrieve a small card. It was unsigned, but she didn’t need to see Coop’s name to know who had sent these. The bold black handwriting that took up every centimeter of space was a signature all its own. I Miss You, it declared with Cooper’s typical let’s-just-forgo-the-bullshit straightforwardness. And not just for the reason you might suspect.
Veronica hugged the offering to her breast. Oh, man. She was in big, big trouble. It had been hard enough to force herself to step back from his proffered kisses yesterday. How was she supposed to hold firm in the face of this?
Especially when she, too, missed the pleasure of his company—and, like him, not simply for the reasons one might suspect. Savoring the vision of Cooper buying her flowers, then stealing down the hallway to prop them against her door, Veronica set off for his room, the tulips still cradled in her arms.
She’d nearly reached the door at the base of the attic stairs when she came to her senses and stopped.
What was she doing? And what on earth was she thinking? Well, she obviously wasn’t thinking at all, and if she was honest with herself, she’d have to acknowledge that fabulous sex was all she and Cooper had between them. And even if the potential for a deeper, more emotional commitment existed, was that what she really wanted? The last thing she intended was to end up like her mother. She absolutely refused to be enthralled by a man with no discernible aspirations.
Ronnie turned away, thinking she ought to just find the nearest trash can and toss the flowers. She certainly didn’t need any reminders around to tempt her into changing her mind. She nodded incisively. Yes, indeed. An intelligent woman would unload these babies faster than you could say, Heartache waiting to happen.
Unfortunately—except for her father’s repeated warnings about her being too damn smart for her own good—nobody had ever accused her of being overly brainy. And probably never would.
She headed for the kitchen to put the tulips in water.
Marissa couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this nervous. As she paced the first floor of her house Wednesday night, she tried very hard to assure herself she was blowing this whole Kody-and-the-kids thing out of proportion. But deep down inside, she feared that wasn’t the case.
She’d left Riley and Dessa at Ronnie’s house forty-five minutes ago, and the only thing she could do now was wait for Kody to arrive. To get her mind off her roiling stomach, she tried to come up with creative reasons to explain why Veronica had seemed restless as a caged bear when she’d dropped off the kids. But her heart wasn’t really in it. Her attention kept drifting back to the kitchen window, searching for a glimpse of Kody’s truck.
A short while later, headlights swept the kitchen walls as he drove into the circular drive behind the house. Despite her intentions to remain cool and unaffected, Marissa found herself at the back door before he’d even cleared the cab of his van.
“Hi,” she said softly as he crossed the brick patio. She stepped back to hold the door open for him.
“Hi, yourself, sweet stuff.” Kody leaned down to give her a thorough kiss. Raising his head, he studied her for a moment. “It feels like it’s been a millennium since I saw you last.” He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip, then entered the kitchen.
Marissa closed the door and joined him. She’d rehearsed this moment several times, but now that she had him here, she didn’t know quite where to start. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”
“No, thanks,” he said and reached for her. “I wouldn’t say no to a little sugar, though.” Pulling her close, he lowered his head to kiss her again.
Heat spread out from his hands at her waist, and she wanted nothing so much as to melt into him and let the embrace just take her away. God knows she’d earned it—she’d pretty much been living on nerves alone for the past week. Yet when the intensity of his kiss cranked up several degrees and she found herself allowing the lean strength of Kody’s body to support more and more of her weight, she pulled back.
He blinked down at her.
“I was thinking,” Marissa said, then had to clear her throat when her voice emerged sounding like Minnie Mouse. “We’ve been dating for a while now, and you’ve never even met my kids. How would you like to come over and join us for hamburgers tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow? I, uh, can’t. I’ve got something going with my dad.”
Her heart sank right down to her toes. She hadn’t been imagining boogie men where no boogie men existed. Dammit—just once she’d like her gut to be wrong, but everything she’d feared was right in front of her eyes. It was in the slight fidget in Kody’s posture; it was in the strained smile on his face, and the way he couldn’t quite hold her gaze. “So, bring him along,” she said levelly. “He’s more than welcome, too.”
“Sorry. That won’t work.”
“Friday, then,” she said flatly.
“I’ve got, uh—”
“Something else terribly important to do,” she supplied when he faltered. She walked over to the back door and held it open. “I think you’d better leave now.”
“What?”
“I may be slow, but I’m not an idiot,” she said and rattled the door. “Get out.”
“Rissa, this is not what it must seem like—”
“Isn’t it? Because what it seems like is that I’m good enough to bounce around a mattress when the mood strikes you, but when it comes to me meeting your family or for you to meet mine, I’m not suitable.”
“No!” He reached out to touch her, but she jerked back and his hand dropped to his side. He leaned into her with determined intensity, however, and said, “Listen, it’s just…my sister dates a lot of guys, and I’ve seen my nephew Jacob disappointed again and again, when her men disappear from his life just about the time he’s starting to depend on them. So I have this little quirk about staying away from the kids of the women I date.”
Anger rose like a red tide in Marissa’s veins. It came from so many levels at once she could hardly keep them all straight, let alone under control, but she held on to her temper with furious determination. “Uh-huh,” she said with curt equanimity. “Well, it’s certainly nice to know where I stand in your life. I’m one of the women you date.”
“You’re the only woman I’ve dated in quite some time.” But Kody felt as if the ground beneath his feet had suddenly turned into a dangerous bog. One wrong step and he’d be sucked into the quicksand, never to be seen from again.
“I see.” Her tone was neutral, but her eyes were lit with fury. “So rather than being one of many, I’m the woman you deign to sleep with but very carefully do not allow into any other part of your life.”
She made it sound so contemptible, but it wasn’t like that. “I don’t want to be responsible for putting the look I’ve seen in Jacob’s eye in any other kids’ eyes, is all. It’s been my experience that—”
“All women are whores?”
“No.”
“I think that’s exactly what you think. That all women are whores who care more about getting sexual satisfaction for themselves than they do about the welfare of their children.”
Even knowing he shouldn’t go there, he heard himself blurting, “The first night we met—”
“I fell right into bed with you,” she interrupted in a clipped, concise tone. “Therefore it’s only reasonable to assume I must do the same with every man I meet.”
He raked a frustrated hand through his hair. “Will you let me finish a goddamn sentence? Or at least not put words in my mouth?”
He hesitated a moment too long because that was what he’d thought…at first. But then he’d gotten to know her better.
Before he could tell her he no longer believed she slept around, however, she gave a sharp little nod. “That’s what I thought. Well, I have news for you, hotshot. I don’t fall into bed with every man I meet. I thought you were special.” She laughed without humor. “Hell. I thought I was falling in love with you.”
Kody’s heart thumped against the wall of his chest, then began to pound in earnest. He took an involuntary, eager step toward her, but she slapped a restraining hand to his chest. Then, her eyes electric with rage and her soft mouth mulish with resolve, she backed him up, step by determined step.
“The truth, however,” she said flatly, “is that I don’t really know you. And you sure as hell don’t know the first thing about me if you think I’d expose my kids to the kind of meet-your-new-uncle scenario you described. I just thought it might be nice if they could get to know the first man I’ve dated since their father died. But clearly I was wrong.”
She reached around him, and a corner of his mind registered the miniblinds on the back door rattling as the door opened. But he didn’t pay the sound any heed, because his attention had fixed on the words “love” and “first.” They ricocheted around his brain like bullets shot into a rock talus.
“I must have been dreaming,” she said. “But you know what? I’m wide awake now. And I don’t want my kids anywhere near a man who thinks their mother is a selfish slut.” Then she gave him a firm nudge.
And the next thing Kody knew, freezing wind was whistling through his parka as he found himself outside on Marissa’s patio, staring at the swaying miniblinds as the kitchen door closed with a thump in his face.
Cooper placed his newest offering—a framed snapshot of Lizzy and Dessa wearing garish dress-up garb and too much makeup—against Veronica’s bedroom door, then slowly straightened. This wooing business was hard work, and he didn’t have the first idea how today’s gift would be received. Hell, he didn’t even know if it could be considered a gift. The photograph was Ronnie’s to begin with, but he’d taken it to a little frame shop over on Third and had it matted and framed for her. He ought to get points for that, but when it came right down to it, who knew if he would? Women were unpredictable.
It was a quarter to three in the morning, and standing in the hallway like a supplicant, he was sorely tempted to let himself into her room the way he used to do. It would be easy to have her aroused and willing before she was even fully awake.
His hand reached out for the doorknob.
Then he let it drop to his side. He didn’t think he could stand to discover she still slept with a chair propped under the doorknob to keep him out. And if she had quit doing that, could he repay her renewed trust by promptly betraying it? She was actually beginning to speak to him again, and she’d made a huge concession when she’d agreed to help him look beyond Eddie as a suspect in her sister’s murder.
Leaving her door untouched, he turned and headed for his room. He wasn’t sure if it meant he was mature, or the world’s biggest chump.
But he had a bad feeling that, either way, he wasn’t going to sleep worth a damn tonight.
Veronica waited until Coop’s soft footsteps faded completely before she threw back the covers and slid out of bed. Shivering when her warm feet hit the cold floorboards, she crossed the room and silently opened her door. Looking down the hallway, she ascertained that the coast was clear, then snatched the flat package off the floor and used her hip to ease the door closed again. A second later she climbed back into bed, turned on the bedside lamp, and pulled the covers up to her chest, tucking them beneath her armpits.
For a moment she simply sat and savored the endless possibilities that a wrapped present constitutes. She scooped one of the double-dipped chocolate-covered macadamia nuts that had been yesterday’s gift out of a dish on her nightstand and popped it in her mouth while she studied the plain brown wrapping of tonight’s present. Its militarily sharp corners elicited a small smile. They were so…Coop. Then she carefully flipped the package over, slid a finger beneath the paper’s edge, and unpeeled the three pieces of tape that held it together. She pulled the paper off and turned the gift right side up.
“Oh.” It was one of the photos she’d taken the night Lizzy and Dessa had played dress-up in Crystal’s finery. Coop had mounted the snapshot in royal blue matting the same color as Lizzy’s dress. And where Veronica would’ve expected him to select a plain, no-nonsense frame, he’d chosen a pewter one that was wondrously, femininely ornate. He’d obviously picked it out with her in mind.
And that made the gift extra special.
Damn. She was so tired of fighting her need for him, and her desire to go up to his room was almost beyond bearing. The strength of her craving caused her to look at her mother’s motives in a brand-new light.
Had Mama felt anything close to this burning neediness for Daddy? It was difficult to think of one’s parents as sexual beings, but maybe the reason her mother had put up with her father’s shiftlessness for all those years was because he’d made it worth her while…in other areas.
She pushed the thought aside; she didn’t even want to go there. But a small smile tickled the corners of her mouth. “You go, Mama,” she murmured. It was kind of nice to think that maybe her mother had gotten something in return for all her years of sacrifice.
Veronica set the photo on her nightstand and turned off the lamp. Then she lay in the dark and attempted to woo sleep by imagining her life back in the real world once everything here was all settled. No matter how many tricks she used to relax her mind, however, she couldn’t seem to find a comfortable spot to settle her restless body. She turned repeatedly from side to side, then finally kicked off the covers and climbed to her feet.
She couldn’t take it any longer. There was only one way she’d get any sleep tonight.
A moment later she paused outside the attic door, wondering if she’d lost her mind entirely. Then she straightened her shoulders. She’d get Cooper Blackstock out of her system once and for all. Maybe then she could put some real thought into getting her life back under control.
She was going to be smarter than Mama, though. She’d go about this the way a man would. They’d use each other to slake this need that vibrated between them, but she was keeping her heart inviolate.
She quietly opened the door and tiptoed up the stairs.
Dim, diffused moonlight filtered through the frosty window, and she could see the outline of Coop’s big body beneath the blankets and quilt heaped on the bed. Swiftly, she crossed the room and lifted the covers to slide in beside him.
His still body radiated heat like an energy-efficient furnace, so she nestled up to him and thought of the way he used to seduce her while she was still asleep so she’d awaken fully aroused. And she grinned in the dark.
She could do that.
Snuggling closer, she kissed his chest, then smoothed her hand down the ridges of his abdomen to the hard plane where his pelvis narrowed between his hipbones. Licking her lips, she reached out to wrap her fingers around his penis.
And found it solid as a rock, standing fully erect.
Wait a minute. She raised her head up off his chest and strained to see his face. “You’re not asleep.”
“It’s hard to discard thirteen years of training, sweetpea.” His voice was a low rasp in the dark. “Soldiers learn to sleep light, and never allow anyone to sneak up on them.” His hand, broad-palmed and warm, wrapped around hers and demonstrated a rhythm that pleased him. He sucked in a sharp breath when her fingers tightened around him. “Aw, man,” he whispered. “You can sneak up on me anytime you wanna.” Then his hand slid away to cradle the back of Veronica’s head, and he twisted around to kiss her.
It was as if her denials of missing him—of missing this—were a combustib
le vapor, and his kiss the spark that blew them to kingdom come. A greedy murmur climbing up the back of her throat, Veronica released her grip on Coop’s sex, wrapped both arms around his neck, and kissed him back with everything she had.
For several long moments the only noise in the room was the damp, suctioning sound of long, slow, deep soul kisses. Finally, Coop raised his head fractionally and stared down at her. “God, I’ve missed you, Ronnie. Nobody tastes the way you do. No one else has a mouth so sweet.”
His words thrilled her, and a tiny frisson of unease threatened to introduce an icy trickle of reality into the hot passion that encased her. For just a second, she surfaced long enough to remember her vow to protect her heart. But then he brushed a strand of hair away from her cheek and rained kisses all over her face. His other hand slid down the front of her pajamas, leaving unfastened buttons and erect nipples in its wake before sliding beneath the elastic waistband on her bottoms.
His fingers delved between her legs, slipping and sliding, plucking and probing. “Oh, yeah,” he growled when she moaned, and then touched her in ways that finessed escalating sensations out of her. “More. I love to hear you having a good time.”
Her breath came in increasingly ragged pants, and she couldn’t have prevented the needy sounds that escaped her throat to save her life. She stared up at him, at the flush that was discernible across his sharp cheekbones even in the dark and at the concentration that gathered his eyebrows above his nose as he watched her orgasm build.
And at the very moment he finally drove her over the edge of sanity, when she heard herself whisper, “I love you, Cooper, I love you,” she couldn’t for the life of her figure out which was the stronger emotion she felt.
Relief? Or horror?
19
LIZZY, RILEY, AND DESSA TUMBLED OUT OF THE CAR the second Coop brought it to a full stop in the fairground parking lot. They pelted toward the main gate, and Coop grinned at Veronica’s and Marissa’s rapid-fire warnings about the perils of getting separated, which they shouted at the kids’ retreating backs. Filled with the same jazzed feeling of expectancy he used to get just before a mission, he climbed out of the car and locked up.
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