Secrets of a Proper Lady

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Secrets of a Proper Lady Page 12

by Victoria Alexander


  “Miss Palmer?”

  Before she could come to her senses, she slipped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to hers. He gathered her close against him and kissed her with a pent-up passion that released a passion of her own. He deepened his kiss, his mouth opened to hers and he tasted of adventure and danger and all things exciting and forbidden. And she realized with a blinding clarity that she could stay in his arms forever regardless of the costs and consequences.

  At last he pulled away and stared down at her. “I will see you in London.”

  “Yes, of course,” she said under her breath. What else could she say? She had, in a most shameful manner, just thoroughly kissed him and had been quite thoroughly kissed in return. And no kiss had ever before made her feel as if her legs were too weak to support her body.

  “Until then, Sarah.” He stepped back and opened the gate for her.

  “Until then.” She sighed and stepped into the garden and he closed the gate behind her.

  She collapsed against it and tried to catch her breath.

  Dear Lord, what had she done? Why on earth had she said she too was going to London? She’d practically invited him to call on her. She had fully intended to end it with him tonight. Instead, she was in deeper than ever. She touched her fingers to her lips. She could still feel the warmth of his mouth on hers. What had the man done to her? It was nothing more than a kiss. It was certainly not the beginning of something quite remarkable. No, she couldn’t allow that. But she had no idea how she would get herself out of this.

  And worse, no idea why she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to.

  If one has not been fortunate enough to have mastered a foreign language in one’s youth, it is wise to acquire at least a smattering of the language of any country one intends to visit so as not to be thought lacking in intelligence or social graces.

  An English Lady’s Traveling Companion

  Chapter 7

  Dear Lady Cordelia,

  As much as I do appreciate your discourse on the history of Brighton, I must confess I have little interest in history. What is long past and dead has always seemed to me as having little relevance to the here and now. Since arriving in England I have wondered as well if the all-encompassing presence of what has gone before has stifled the effort to move forward, to progress as it were. Yours is a country wallowing in the old, mine is a country with its vision and its people set squarely on the future…

  Daniel really had to give Warren his due. Warren’s habit of an early morning constitutional had seemed a waste of time when Warren had first joined him in London and the men had begun sharing a residence. Now, however, Daniel had found he quite enjoyed a brisk early morning stroll with or without Warren. It was a practice he suspected he would continue even after returning home. It was certainly invigorating in a physical sense, especially here in Brighton. But Daniel had found it stimulated the mind as well and promoted clear thinking. He had serious thinking to do now, and the clearer his mind the better, as he had obviously not been thinking at all last night.

  Whatever had gotten into him? How could he have asked to call on her? It was as if the words had come out of his mouth without any connection to his brain whatsoever. He couldn’t recall such a thing ever happening to him before. But then he’d never encountered anyone like Sarah Palmer before. Although, if truth were told, he was hard pressed to explain exactly why she was different from other women whose acquaintance he had made, other women he had kissed. She was pretty, of course, and her green eyes were lovely, but he had met lovely green-eyed women before. Perhaps it was her spirit that appealed to him, the independence of her nature. Or possibly it was something he couldn’t explain at all, something he couldn’t name but recognized nonetheless.

  In any rational sense it was absurd to be thinking anything about Sarah at all. Why, he’d scarcely talked to her more than a handful of times. Still, the blasted woman seemed to be the only thing on his mind. It was decidedly confusing and most annoying. He would indeed call on her in London but only for the express purpose of revealing his deception to her. He certainly couldn’t make any kind of commitment to one woman when he was tentatively expected to marry another. Not that he was interested in commitment of any kind to anyone.

  He drew a deep breath of the fresh sea air and wondered why he didn’t feel better about his newfound resolve. Instead, a heavy weight had settled in the pit of his stomach. Sarah would indeed hate him when she learned the truth and he couldn’t blame her. And what if he did ultimately marry Lady Cordelia? Given Sarah’s position as more a member of the family than an employee, they would certainly see one another on those occasions when he and his new wife visited England. No, it was better to end this now before someone was hurt. Before hearts were involved if they weren’t already.

  If one preferred solitude to crowds, this was the perfect time to stroll Brighton’s promenade. The only presence besides the gulls were the fishermen setting out for the day.

  “Mr. Lewis,” a familiar voice called and he caught sight of Sarah approaching him at a determined pace. She wore a bright yellow gown and carried a matching parasol and looked very much the epitome of a summer day come to life. He pushed aside the fanciful thought and waited for her.

  Odd that his heart could leap and sink at the same time.

  He tipped his hat. “Good morning, Miss Palmer. What brings you out so early in the day?”

  “You do, Mr. Lewis,” she said firmly and gazed up at him. “May I join you?”

  “Yes, of course.” He offered her his arm and they started off. “But I must admit, Miss Palmer, you have me at a disadvantage.”

  “Do I?” She laughed softly. “How delightful.”

  “How did you know where to find me?”

  “I suspected a man who takes a constitutional every morning would not be able to resist doing so in Brighton as well.” She gazed at the boats putting out to sea. “It’s a thoroughly marvelous time of day here, quiet and peaceful and yet filled with light and promise. Even the cries of the gulls seem less intrusive. Don’t you think?”

  “I do indeed, but how did you know about my morning walk?”

  She hesitated then shrugged. “You must have mentioned it in passing.”

  “Yes, of course.” Although he doubted it since he had only recently adopted the habit. Still, it was of no consequence. “Which explains my presence but not yours.”

  “I wished to thank you again for last night. I had a lovely time.”

  “As did I, although it was entirely too brief.”

  “And I wished to talk to you as well.” She paused. “About your request to call on me.”

  “Yes?”

  “I fear, Mr. Lewis, that might not be wise.”

  “Oh?” Not that he hadn’t already realized the same thing, although his reasons were likely decidedly different than hers.

  “I think it would be most awkward for you to call on me in any sort of formal manner.”

  “Why?” he said before he could stop himself. If he was half as intelligent as he thought he was, he would keep his mouth shut.

  She chose her words carefully. “My position in the household is unique and this, our…our friendship, simply complicates everything. Until Lady Cordelia’s future is resolved, I think it would be best if you and I were to refrain from seeing one another.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I didn’t expect you to.” She glanced up at him. “What I do hope, however, is that you will honor my wishes without question.”

  “That’s not entirely fair, Miss Palmer.”

  “No, Mr. Lewis.” She heaved a heartfelt sigh. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all, but then little in life is.”

  “What if I would prefer not to honor your wishes without question? What if I prefer to ignore your wishes altogether?” he said without thinking. What was he saying? She was giving him exactly what he had decided was necessary. And yet, it wasn’t what he wanted and he couldn’t seem
to accept it.

  “Then you are not nearly as honorable a man as I had thought.”

  “You don’t know me very well. I might be the most dishonorable man you’ve ever met.”

  “I doubt that. I have seen you rescue small children.” She shook her head. “This is complicated, Mr. Lewis.”

  “Warren.” He squeezed her hand. “I thought we were becoming friends?”

  “We were. We are. It’s just…” She paused. “As I said it’s complicated. And every minute I’m with you it just becomes more complicated.”

  Little did she know just how complicated it all really was. Still, she was right. “You should know, Sarah, I do not kiss every lovely young woman who crosses my path.”

  “That is good to know.” She smiled. “And you should know as well, that I do not make it a habit of kissing every handsome pirate who comes my way.”

  He laughed. “It seems to me we have a great deal in common then.”

  “No, Warren. Mr. Lewis.” She stopped, stepped back and met his gaze directly. “We have nothing in common except a…an attraction that I cannot account for.”

  He raised a brow. “And do you need to account for it?”

  “Yes, I do.” She shifted her parasol and gazed out at the water. “You must understand I have obligations to…to Lady Cordelia and her family that do not allow for anything of this nature. At least not at the present time.” She glanced at him. “I have disregarded them up until now, but I can do so no longer.”

  “I see.”

  “Do you?”

  “Not really.” He chuckled wryly.

  “Nothing can come of whatever this is between us.” Regret shone in her eyes and he realized she was as reluctant to stop seeing him as he was to stop seeing her. She was right, nothing could come of it.

  Still…“Perhaps, if we change the rules.”

  “What?” Her brow furrowed with confusion.

  “Something that recently occurred to me. It’s of no consequence at the moment I suppose.” He paused. “So then is this goodbye?”

  “I’m afraid it must be.”

  Abruptly it struck him that regardless of the fact that agreeing not to see her was absolutely the right thing to do, he didn’t want to give her up. At least not yet. “You asked me to honor your wishes, will you do the same for me?”

  She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think that would be wise.”

  “I think the time for wisdom is past.”

  “Even so—”

  “Didn’t you say last night that I had your undying gratitude?”

  “Yes?” Caution sounded in her voice.

  “I will agree not to call on you formally or pursue you with any intent beyond friendship, but grant my wish and allow me to see you again as nothing more than a friend.”

  “A friend?”

  “You did say we had become friends. Didn’t you mean it?”

  “Certainly, I meant it but—”

  “Surely there’s no harm in continuing an innocent friendship?”

  She stared at him. “Is this an innocent friendship then?”

  “Yes,” he said staunchly. “Or it can be.”

  “I’m not sure I believe you nor am I sure you believe that either. This is a dangerous idea, Mr. Lewis. It can lead to nothing of any good whatsoever. Still, I suppose if the idea of friendship is kept firmly in mind…” She studied him for a moment then blew a resigned breath. “I have always been fond of the Egyptian gallery at the British Museum. Indeed, I go there regularly and fully intend to do so this coming Thursday.

  “Three days from now?”

  “That would be Thursday, yes. I am usually there early to avoid crowds.”

  “Avoiding crowds seems like a good idea.”

  “And if I should happen to cross paths with a friend…” She shrugged. “Well, that sort of thing can’t be helped.”

  “No, not at all.”

  “However,” her tone was firm, “I would expect a friend to behave in a respectable manner.”

  “Absolutely.” He nodded.

  “I would anticipate that there would be no repeat of anything at all improper.”

  “No pulling you into his arms behind the giant sculpture of an Egyptian god, you mean?”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.”

  “No pressing his lips to yours until your breath mingles with his in a manner exciting and intimate?”

  She stared up at him. “Certainly not.”

  “No kissing you until you melt against him and you wonder if you can ever stand unaided again?” He gazed into her green eyes. “And he wonders the same?”

  “No.” She swallowed hard. “None of that.”

  “Very well.” He grinned down at her. “Should I happen to be in the vicinity of the British Museum on this coming Wednesday—”

  “Thursday.”

  “Yes, of course, and should I happen to wander into the Egyptian gallery on Thursday, and if I then crossed paths with a friend, I will resist all impulses toward anything beyond intellectual discussion of a civilization long dead.”

  “I doubt that,” she said under her breath. Her brows drew together and she glared up at him. “You might well be the most annoying man I have ever met.”

  “And the most determined.”

  “Which in and of itself is annoying,” she said sharply. “As well as confusing.” She sighed. “Good day, Mr. Lewis.” With that she turned and started off.

  Daniel chuckled. “Good day, Miss Palmer.”

  He watched her walk off, watched until in the distance she crossed the road and entered her house. His smile faded. What was the matter with him? When had he become such an idiot? She had given him the perfect opportunity to gracefully stop seeing her without having to tell her the truth. And he had ignored it. Tossed it aside without so such as a moment of consideration.

  She’d bewitched him, that’s what she’d done. Miss Sarah Palmer with the magic green eyes had put him under some sort of spell. He’d told Norcroft he thought that blasted tontine was cursed and here was the proof. From the very beginning, Daniel had thought he’d be the last man standing. There hadn’t been a doubt in his mind. And yet here he was—damn near engaged to one woman with another making him think thoughts dangerously close to things like permanence and forever. Because a woman like Sarah Palmer wasn’t the type one dallied with, she was the type one married.

  Whether one wanted to marry or not.

  “I’m returning to London today,” Cordelia announced in a casual manner and glanced around the breakfast table for the inevitable reaction. “There is a publisher interested in my book and I should like to meet with him. Sarah will accompany me, of course.”

  Sarah glanced at Cordelia and smiled but otherwise held her tongue. After all, this was not her battle.

  “Oh, I don’t think so dear,” her mother said with a pleasant smile and passed the rack of toast to Amelia.

  Cordelia had expected as much and had her argument already prepared. First, she was twenty-five years of age, scarcely a child, and regardless of her position as the youngest in the family, should certainly be treated as an adult. Indeed, this was a conversation long overdue. And, as an adult, if she wished to return to London, there was no reason why she shouldn’t. Secondly, she had traveled extensively with Aunt Lavinia and Sarah. And on those travels, she’d been very much a person of independence and confidence. A two-hour train ride to London was scarcely significant. Third, well, Cordelia wasn’t sure what the third reason was but she was certain it would come to mind when needed. “Why—”

  “Why ever not, Mother?” Amelia said casually. “She’s no longer a child. She’s twenty-five.”

  “And I would think, if she wishes to return to London, she should be allowed to do so,” Edwina added. “It’s not as if she’ll be alone. Sarah will be with her and there’s an entire house full of servants in London.”

  Her mother, Cordelia, and Sarah stared at the other women. Cordelia couldn’t r
emember any of her sisters ever taking her side in anything. Even more surprising, they’d just presented reasons number one and three—even if number three hadn’t yet occurred to Cordelia—which was remarkably significant given Cordelia never imagined they understood anything about her at all.

  Father was reading his paper and apparently ignoring the conversation entirely as was his custom regarding discussions among the female members of his family.

  “Nonetheless, I think it’s entirely improper for a young, unmarried woman to reside in London without her family,” Mother said firmly. “What will people think?”

  “I daresay, no one will think anything worse than they already do,” Edwina said. “Cordelia has always trod her own path. All that travel and writing, she’s long been far more independent than anyone else in the family.”

  “And look where it’s led her.” Mother sniffed. “She should be married by now with children of her own.”

  “And yet she seems quite content with her life.” Amelia looked at her youngest sister. “Are you content?”

  “I haven’t really considered the question of contentment.” Cordelia thought for a moment. “I suppose I am content with my life thus far. Certainly, I would like to marry, but I would like to continue my travels as well. I’m not sure both marriage and travel are possible.”

  “Sacrifices, Cordelia. It’s not easy but one must make certain sacrifices.” Mother’s tone was prim. “One cannot have everything one wants in this life.”

  “Why not?” Amelia asked.

  “It doesn’t seem at all fair,” Edwina added.

  Mother sputtered. “Fair?”

  Amelia nodded. “Fair.”

  “Nothing in life is especially fair. Fair is a lovely word but has very little to do with the realities of life.” Mother rose to her feet in a manner the queen herself might well have envied and glared at her daughters. “Cordelia will not return to London. She will marry Mr. Sinclair. And until such time comes as she is no longer under her father’s roof, she shall do precisely as she is told.” Mother nodded regally and resumed her seat.

 

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