by Stacy Eaton
“I think we need to go back to my place and work up an appetite.” He put his hands on my hips and pulled me down tightly against him. I almost moaned out loud.
“I already have an appetite,” I replied coyly.
“Damn, Finley.” His eyes slammed shut, and he inhaled in one long, steady breath and held it. It came out in whoosh. “This was a bad thing to do. You need to get off my lap.”
For a few seconds, I was shocked at what he’d said. Was he changing his mind? “Uh, okay.” I began to climb off and he grabbed my face.
“I need you to get off my lap, not because I don’t want you there—boy, do I ever want you there—but I am already so turned on just thinking about it, I’ll be lucky if I am able to walk up the stairs and out of this house with the hard-on that I have now.”
“Oh—”
“Yeah—‘Oh’—so climb off and go gather your things. Let them know that something came up, and we need to get going.”
Finley’s gaze slipped to my lap. “Something came up?”
“Funny,” he chuckled. “Tell them I have to get home to deal with work or something.”
“Okay,” I replied and stood. Roan kept hold of my hips and pulled me to stand in front of him as he stared up at me.
“And when we get back to my place, we will take this back up.”
I nodded and stepped out of his grasp. How long did it take to get back to his place? I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to wait that long.
I explained to Robin and Chris that Roan had a little work emergency that he needed to deal with at home and told them we’d join them again soon.
As soon as Roan came up, he called out to Chris that he’d call him soon and headed for the front door. I waved at Robin and saw the mischievous look on her face as she mouthed: Details, I want the details.
Roan kept a few feet of distance between us as we headed to his car. His body seemed stiff, almost jerky as he moved. The minute our seatbelts were on, his car came to life, and he was out of the driveway. Roan turned on the radio, and the music calmed me a little; however, it seemed to amp him up even more. His cellphone rang, and his car announced it was his brother. He said one word, “Ignore,” and kept his attention solely focused on driving.
I had never seen him so quiet or intent before, and I wondered if everything was okay. Was he regretting his words from earlier? Had he changed his mind, or had something really come up?
We pulled into his driveway and still neither of us spoke. We reached his house, drove into the garage, and butterflies went wild in my belly as he put the car in park.
Roan didn’t waste any time getting out of the car, and I was just putting my feet on the floor and reaching down for the laptop bag that Chris had given me when Roan reached for my hand and barked, “Leave it.”
I twisted around to see him bearing down on me, and then he had me pinned against the side of the car. His mouth devoured mine while his hands cupped my ass and lifted me off the floor. I instinctively locked my legs around his waist and squeezed. A guttural groan released from his chest as he ground against me. His lips tore from mine and worked down my neck, hot and wet.
“I have never wanted someone so much,” he hissed against my neck. “You do something to me, Finley. I don’t know what it is, but you drive me insane.”
I couldn’t think of a response, all I could do was feel—and what I was feeling was more than just tingles in all the right places. Deep inside my soul, I felt a banging against the walls. Without thought, I let the walls fall, and with them, I whimpered against him as he brought our mouths together again.
Chapter 24
Roan
I didn’t know what was going through Finley’s mind on the way back to my place, but all I could think about was getting up close and personal with her the minute we were out of this car. She probably thought I was an animal as I caged her against the side of my car, but I couldn’t wait any longer.
The words flowed off my tongue without thought, “I have never wanted someone so much. You do something to me, Finley. I don’t know what it is, but you drive me insane.” I didn’t understand it, and I sure as hell didn’t want to dwell on it right now. All I knew was that I didn’t just want Finley, I needed her.
“Tell me you want me, too, baby. Tell me it’s not just me.”
“Not just you, Roan. I want you, too. God, I need you, Roan,” she murmured against my neck as she nipped and kissed at it.
With her legs wrapped around my waist, and my body pinning her to the car, it was easy to take her face in my hands and stare into it. “You need me? Do you really need me, Finley?”
“Yes, Roan, I need you to make love to me. I need to feel you. I need you to make this ache stop.”
I was glad that I wasn’t the only one who was aching, but I needed to be sure. “Are you sure, Finley, because it’s been a long time for me and I’m not sure I could stop if you changed your mind.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Roan, do you remember what you did to me last night? How you made me feel against the glass?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“I want to make you feel like that. Let me love you, Roan.”
I slammed my eyes shut, not because I didn’t want to see her beautiful face anymore, but because I didn’t want her to see the moisture that had begun to seep in.
I reached behind my back and unlocked her legs, letting her slide to the floor as I got my emotions under control. She looked at me questioningly as I took a step back, and I put a finger to her lips to hold back her questions.
“Let’s go inside. I don’t really want to make love to you in the garage the first time.”
She leaned forward, “I have a feeling that no matter where we have sex, Roan, it’s going to be incredible.”
I laced my fingers with hers as my cellphone began to ring, and I tossed it into my car before I shut the door and led her to the house. I didn’t want interruptions; I just wanted Finley.
Without another word, I led her down the hallway, up the stairs, and began to head to my bedroom—but paused. I’d never been with anyone besides Sherry in that room. Could I possibly bring Finley in there?
She curled herself around my arm. “We can go in my room if it makes it easier.”
I looked down into bright-green eyes so full of understanding that my heart wanted to explode. I lifted her chin, “You are incredible for understanding my hesitation without any explanation.”
She smiled and began to pull me backward toward her room, and I glanced over my shoulder and made a decision. When I turned back to face Finley, I lunged forward and captured her, lifting her and putting her over my shoulder as she squealed and began to laugh.
I strode straight to my room, threw open the door, and paused for half a second. Sherry wasn’t in this room anymore, only memories of her were here. I carried Finley to the bed, and right before I put her down, I swatted her butt playfully, and she swatted me back as she laughed.
I tossed her on the bed and pounced on her immediately. Our laughter filled the air as I lowered myself onto her. It took less than five seconds for me to totally put Sherry out of my mind and direct my focus completely on Finley.
I loved the way her body responded to my touch, and as much as I wanted to drag this whole scenario out, I was dying to be balls deep in her and that’s what brought me to a screeching halt. Damn—
“What’s wrong?” Finley asked.
“I didn’t plan this very well. I don’t have any condoms.”
Finley frowned. “That’s a problem.” She nibbled on her bottom lip. “I’m on the pill, but I’ve never had sex without a condom. Wait!” She pushed me aside and jumped off the bed.
“Where are you going? Do you have some in your purse?”
She laughed, “Don’t get your hopes up, it’s just a thought.” She ran out the door, and I sat on the side of the bed thinking about how stupid I was for not having thought about that.
A few moments la
ter, Finley was at the door, with not one, but two condom wrappers in her hands.
“You had some in your purse.” I supposed I should be glad that she practiced safe sex.
“No,” she responded.
“Then where did you get them?”
She laughed as she climbed back on the bed. “You have a teenage son.”
“Wade? You found those in my son’s room?”
“Yes, you should be glad that he is practicing safe sex.”
He laughed. “I am glad, but is it weird that I’m getting my condoms from my teenage son?”
“Not at all.” She pushed me back and straddled me, “Now do you want to think about your son and his teenage sex life, or do you want to act like a couple of teens and get it on?” She scrunched up her nose in a naughty little smile.
“I feel like a horny teen,” I pulled her down to me, “so let’s go with option B.”
There wasn’t much talking after that as Finley and I helped one another undress. Unlike many first times with someone, this seemed so natural, so perfect, and held none of those um-would-she-like-that moments. Instead, every place I touched her brought out a positive response from her, and any place her hands or lips landed on me made my body burn hotter. As the two of us came down from our exquisite orgasm together, I found myself thinking back to before Sherry was sick.
Our sex life had been good, as good as it could have been with a small child in the house and the two of us having busy careers. I traveled much of the time and, when I was home, she was working. Our lovemaking had always been quick and unromantic as we took it when we could. I couldn’t remember a time when I had felt connected to Sherry the way I had been with Finley tonight.
My hand stilled on her back where it had been making lazy circles. How could I feel this with a woman I barely knew and wasn’t in love with, when I had loved Sherry for years? I had to be wrong about the way I was thinking, and I found myself trying to recall intimate moments with Sherry.
“You okay?” Finley asked as she lifted her head from my shoulder.
“Yeah,” I responded and kissed her forehead, but I was anything but. My mind was frantically trying to recall a memory of when I had felt this kind of passion with my wife. Finley put her head back on my shoulder for a few moments and then rolled away. “Where are you going?”
“Well, I was going to use the bathroom and then go downstairs and find something for us to eat.”
“Oh, okay,” I said stupidly as she collected her clothing and then headed toward the hallway door.
“I’ll meet you downstairs in a few minutes, okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be right down,” I said, distracted.
She smiled, but it looked strained, and if I had been thinking straight, I would have understood. My heart and mind were in turmoil as I watched her leave. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up and stood in front of the mirror for a long moment and stared at the man in the reflection.
Why couldn’t I remember being passionate with Sherry—or for that matter, playful when we had sex? I couldn’t remember ever throwing her over my shoulder or spanking her in a sexual manner. I’d never taken her up against the window downstairs, although I’d fantasized about it many times.
Had we been too young? Too busy? I put my palms on the counter and hung my head. After we had married and I’d gone back to modeling before she got sick, we had sex a few times a month when I was in town. I had spent more time getting off myself than with her.
One time came back to me as if it had just happened. The night she told me she’d had cancer, we had made love in a completely different way. It had been deep and meaningful, but now as I think back to what I just shared with Finley, I realized that sex with Sherry had lacked passion.
Had Sherry and I been together for so long that we were only together because that was all we knew? No, that couldn’t be it. I knew without a doubt that I had loved her with my whole heart, and I knew that Sherry had loved me, too. In fact, in the first few months after she’d learned about the cancer, the two of us had spent more time talking than we had in all the previous years we’d been married combined.
That was why I had decided to leave modeling. That was also why I had started my business. I wanted to be here with the woman I loved when she needed me most. I splashed water over my face and wiped it dry. I had wanted a lot of things with Sherry. The number one being her to not be sick, but that wasn’t how things ended.
I stepped out of the bedroom, and my eyes landed on the condom package on the floor and then snapped to the other one on the nightstand that wasn’t opened yet. Jesus, what had I done?
I sank down on the edge of the bed and immediately fell into a time warp. My thoughts flashed through every moment of my life with Sherry, and I could do nothing to stop it.
When the images and memories finally stopped, I lifted my head and found the room dark. I glanced at the clock and realized it was almost eight at night. I jumped off the bed, threw on clothes, and headed downstairs. I wasn’t sure what I’d find, but it sure wasn’t the note on the counter saying that my dinner was in the fridge and that she’d called a friend to come get her. She had a busy day of catering the next day and would have to leave early in the morning so she didn’t want to bother me.
I scrubbed a hand over my head. “Way to screw this up,” I muttered to myself as I went to the fridge and pulled it open. A plate of pasta and a white sauce were on the shelf and I pulled it out and sniffed, Alfredo sauce, my favorite. I touched the sauce, it was ice cold, so it had been in there for a long time. The kitchen was clean, and I popped the plate into the microwave. While it warmed, I headed to the garage and retrieved my cellphone and backpack. I noticed that the laptop bag that Chris had given her was now gone, too.
I slammed the car door and stomped back into the house as I clicked through my messages. I had three calls from my brother, and two more numbers I didn’t recognize along with four voicemails.
The first three messages were from Rye asking where the hell I was in the first and second ones, and then in the third one telling me that I better be getting some good sex to be ignoring him. The next message was from Detective Lucas Hawkswell over in Middletown. He’d been in touch with the state police and they were trading information. He also told me that as soon as they had more, he’d be back in touch with me, but wanted to make sure I was aware that they were working on the case.
Well, that was good at least. I didn’t like that Finley had left the house and we didn’t know where Wallace was, but at least she was with a friend, and hopefully she’d be safe. I just wished I could have spoken to her before she’d left. I had a few things to explain to her and, quite honestly, apologize for. Who knew that having sex would open the dam on the memories?
I set the warmed meal on the counter and took a seat on a stool. With a big sigh, I stared at the food in front of me. She’d given me one of the best afternoons of my adult life, cooked me a homemade meal, and I’d shut her out. What a prick I was.
I had just taken a bite of my food when my phone began to ring and I glanced at the number. “Shit—” I muttered as I reached over to answer it.
Chapter 25
Finley
I closed his front door and swore to myself that I would not cry. When I left him in his room, I thought it had been because he needed a little bit of time to come to terms with moving on. Three hours later, he still hadn’t come out of his room, and I assumed he’d either fallen asleep or he couldn’t face me—which totally sucked because the sex had been out of this world, like, seriously mind-altering with four of the most incredible orgasms I’d ever had. While I’d had them before, I’d given them to myself, not while having sex with a partner. Now, I understood why women raved about good sex in romance books, but the best sex of my life had left me feeling lonely and utterly dejected—or did the loneliness come from being shut out after such an intimate affair. Had he been thinking about his wife the whole time? Had he been comparing the two of us
and realized I was lacking? Was it better with me and now he felt guilty?
I honestly understood how it would be hard for him to move on. I got that. I really did, but I didn’t understand being totally shut out. My only conclusion was that he regretted everything that had happened.
As I climbed into Sadie’s small compact car, I glanced back at the house. It had been nice while it lasted. At least I had two incredible memories to hold close to my heart.
“Who lives here?” Sadie asked as she pulled around the front loop and headed toward the road.
“Roan Waterman.”
“No way! What were you doing at his house?” She practically slammed on the brakes and made the car skid.
I shrugged. “I stayed here last night.”
“You slept with Roan Waterman?”
“What? No. He let me stay last night because someone broke into my house.”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.” She started driving again. “So why aren’t you staying tonight?”
“He needs to be someplace in the morning, and we have the party over in Middletown to cater, so I didn’t want to put him out by making him get up early.”
“What time do you have to get up?”
“Four. I’ll walk over to the café tomorrow morning.”
“You don’t want to get your car tonight?”
“No, I’d rather it not be sitting in front of your house. You’re only fifteen minutes from the café. I’ll walk; it’s no big deal. I could use the fresh air and exercise.”
Sadie took me back to her place asking a million and one questions about Roan’s house, and all I wanted to do was forget about the man. Luckily, once we arrived at her place, she got lost in a television show and the questions stopped. I sat in her little apartment living room, taking in her meager decorations and realizing that this was my life. This was the kind of place in which I should be living, not a gorgeous home like Roan’s. I’d fooled myself that it could ever work out between us.