by Raye Morgan
“The hell you are!”
“Joe, don’t you see? You need help. You can’t handle a baby all by yourself.”
“Sure I can. I bought a car seat.” He nodded toward the back, and she turned and saw a state-of-the-art monstrosity sitting there, ready to go. Evidently he was ready to buy anything necessary for his child and pay for the best. That should be a good sign, she supposed. Still, he didn’t seem to understand what taking care of a young child entailed.
“By handling a baby, I mean more than just putting her body someplace and telling her everything is okay.” Kelly bit her lip and then appealed to his common sense. “She’s going to be scared. You’ll be driving. She’ll need more attention than you can give her on the ride home. Face it. You’re going to need help.”
Kelly took his sullen silence to mean he saw her point, and she breathed in relief. As she studied his profile, her confidence began to creep back. Maybe she hadn’t been so wrong about everything, after all. He was so handsome. Handsome and quite royal looking, if she did say so herself.
Joe spotted Mei as soon as he walked into the building. Just seeing her hit him like a thunderbolt.
She was sitting on a chair behind the airline check-in counter, her little legs out straight, her feet in their white socks and black Mary Janes barely reaching the edge. Her dark hair was cut off at ear length, with a thick fringe of bangs that almost covered her almond-shaped eyes. His heart flipped in his chest and suddenly he was out of breath.
Once he’d caught sight of her, he didn’t see anything else. The rest of the world faded into a bothersome mist. There were people talking all around him, but he didn’t hear a thing. She sat there as though there was a spotlight shining down on her, and he went straight for her.
Joe stopped in front of her, and for a moment he couldn’t speak. His heart was full. He hadn’t expected this. He was always the tough guy, the one who didn’t get caught up in emotions. But from the moment he’d seen this little girl, he knew he was in love. She was so gorgeous, so adorable, he could hardly stand it.
“Mei?” he said at last, his voice rough.
She looked up and stared into his eyes, her little round face expressionless.
“Hi, Mei,” he said. “I’m…I’m your daddy.”
There was no change, no response. For a second, he wondered if she hadn’t heard him.
“I’m taking you home,” Joe said. His voice broke on that last word.
Gazing up at him, she shook her head. “No,” she said, looking worried.
He stared at her, hardly hearing her or noticing her mood. For so long she’d been a dream in his heart, and now she was here.
And suddenly, the past came flooding in on him. He saw his beautiful Angie again, saw her trembling smile. Saw the love in her eyes as she greeted him, the delight as she told him of the new baby he’d never seen, the fear as their hiding place was discovered by the rebels…the gunfire…Saw the peace and acceptance on her lovely face as she died in his arms. He remembered the agonizing cry ripped from his chest as he’d realized he’d lost her forever, remembered the gut-wrenching fury as he’d taken off through the jungle after her murderers. Felt again the searing pain as their bullets hit his flesh, the aching frustration as he fell to the ground, helpless.
It all came back in a flash, and Joe tried to shake it away just as quickly. He couldn’t let this precious child, this gift of love between him and Angie, be hurt by the ugly past.
Still, the past was what it was. He couldn’t change it. It had made him into the bitter recluse he was today. But he wasn’t going to inflict that on the child. Looking at her now, he knew he was going to do everything he could for her in every way. His heart seemed to swell in his chest. She would be his life from now on. But why did it hurt so much?
“For you, Angie,” he murmured softly, his voice choking, his vision blurring with tears.
Kelly looked at Joe in surprise. All she’d seen so far was his tough side, the sarcasm, the arrogance, the disdain. She’d never dreamed such a very small girl could bring a man like this to tears.
Kelly had come in right behind him, but was trying to stay to the side and out of the way. She didn’t want to intrude, didn’t want to push in where she didn’t belong, but he was just standing there, paralyzed with emotion. If she didn’t do something, he was going to scare the poor kid to death. There was really no choice. She stepped forward.
“Hi, sweetie,” she said with a cheery smile, bending down. “My name’s Kelly. I’m your daddy’s friend. I’m going to help take you home. Okay?”
The huge dark eyes stared at her solemnly. For a moment, Kelly thought there would be no response. The child’s gaze seemed flat, emotionless. Her little features didn’t move at all.
Kelly glanced at Joe for guidance, but the look on his face told her he wouldn’t even hear her right now.
“Mei?” Kelly said, smiling hopefully. “You want to come with me?”
As though a veil was lifted, Mei’s eyes lit with interest and her little head nodded.
Flooded with relief, Kelly put out her arms and Mei went to her willingly, then clung to her. And that was that. Mei seemed to think she belonged with Kelly. No room for other options.
They waited for a required interview with a supervisor, then Joe began to make his way through the paperwork, while Kelly tried to keep the baby entertained as best she could. The bustle of people all around them helped. Whenever Mei felt anxious, Kelly was there to soothe away her fears. At the same time she kept one ear open to the questions Joe was answering, hoping to glean something that would help with her identification. She didn’t get much there, but she did hear the name Angie repeated often enough to realize that had to be Mei’s mother, and Joe’s wife. One look at his face was all she needed to understand the tragedy involved in his losing her.
Kelly noticed that Joe was very carefully avoiding glancing at Mei. She thought she knew why. He was protecting himself, just getting through the bureaucratic formalities with all due speed. This child had power over him, and he had to wait until they were out of here before he could begin learning how to deal with it.
They were almost done when Joe visibly steeled himself and turned to smile at his daughter.
“Okay, Mei,” he said, holding out his arms. “Why don’t you let me carry you for awhile?”
The baby shrank away, and as his hands touched her, she let out a shriek that could probably be heard all the way back to Manila. Joe jerked back, his face like stone. He glanced at Kelly, who was at a loss as to how to fix this situation, and then he turned and walked back to the airline counter, where he had a bit more business to complete.
Kelly held Mei closely, knowing this was not good, and feeling a surge of compassion for Joe that almost brought her to tears. But what could she do?
Once all the paperwork was done and they were heading for the parking lot, little Mei’s arms went around Kelly’s neck and she snuggled in tightly. But whenever Joe turned to look at her, she stiffened, and Kelly began to realize there might be more problems ahead than he had ever anticipated.
Chapter Four
JOE WAS SILENT on the drive home from the airport. He was the sort of man who liked to be in command of every situation, understanding what was needed, hitting all the bases. The problem was, right now he didn’t have a clue. He felt like a swimmer who couldn’t touch bottom and had lost sight of the beach. What was he supposed to do now?
The idea of a baby daughter had seemed vaguely pleasant. A little girl to call his own. A miniature version of Angie, maybe—sweet, pretty, a blessing in his life. She was his child and his responsibility.
He’d pictured a friendly meeting at the airport. The nanny would be in charge. After all, he’d been told the woman had been taking care of Mei ever since she was born. He would drive them home, and that would be that. A child in his life—but a child with a caretaker, someone who knew what she was doing.
That was the plan. Reality had caught
him unprepared and hit him like a blow to the gut.
No nanny. No caretaker. No safety net.
That wasn’t going to work. He didn’t know the first thing about taking care of a kid this age. Or any age, really.
But even worse had been his own emotional reaction to seeing little Mei in the flesh for the first time. He hadn’t expected to have the pain flood in that way. His stomach turned again just thinking about it. If he’d known that was going to happen…
Traffic was light, but his headlights bounced against the fog and he had to pay close attention, peering into the darkness as though he might find some answers there. Kelly was sitting next to Mei in the back, talking to her softly, helping her play with a toy attached to the car seat.
He listened for a moment, craning to hear, as though she were speaking in a foreign language he didn’t understand. And he didn’t. What was he doing here? What was he going to do with this child?
“Did you find out what happened to the nanny?” Kelly asked him as he turned off the freeway and stopped at a red light.
He hesitated, reluctant to tell her anything. She shouldn’t even be here. Still, if she wasn’t, he would be in even bigger trouble. He supposed he owed her a bit of civility, if nothing else.
“They said she was seen with Mei right up until they went through customs here at the airport, and then she disappeared.” He shook his head in disbelief. “They found her sitting there in one of those plastic chairs. She had a tag around her neck with her papers and my name and all that. They gave me the address the nanny used as a contact point, but something tells me that’s going to be useless.”
He glanced in the rearview mirror. He couldn’t see Mei, but that was okay. Right now he didn’t want to.
“They said it happens all the time. She’ll probably blend right into the immigrant community and it will be hard to ever find her.”
Kelly nodded. “That’s what I was afraid of.”
He frowned and didn’t speak again as he turned onto his street and pulled into the driveway.
“You’re lucky,” Kelly said softly. “She’s asleep. I’ll bet you can carry her in without waking her.”
“Good.”
“Do you have a bed for her?”
He turned off the engine and looked back. “Of course I have a bed for her. I’ve got a whole room ready.”
“Oh. Good.”
He got out and held the rear door open. He was still avoiding taking a look at Mei. Instead, he studied Kelly, noting that she’d pulled her curly blonde hair back and tied it with a band, though strands were escaping and making a halo effect around her face. She had a sweet, pretty face. She looked nice. His baby needed somebody nice. What if he asked her to stay and…
Grimacing, he turned and looked into the fog that surrounded his house. What was he thinking? He didn’t need a woman like this hanging around, distracting him from the work he had to do creating a family for this baby. He should tell Kelly to take a hike. She had no business being here with them. He didn’t know her. And she was all wrong for this job. The last thing he wanted for a nanny was a woman this appealing to the senses. She had to go.
Still, the thought of being alone with Mei struck a certain level of terror in his heart. He needed help. Who was he going to get to come at this time of night?
“What are you going to do?” Kelly asked softly, standing in front of him.
He shrugged. “Try to hire a nanny, I guess,” he said gruffly.
“You won’t be able to do that until morning.”
He nodded.
“I’ll stay,” she said. It was less an offer than a firm statement of intent.
“You?” He looked at her with a scowl. Suspicions flooded back. He may have just been considering asking her to stay, but why was she offering? “Why would you do that? You’re not going to get a story out of me.”
She threw up her hands in exasperation. “I told you, I’m not looking for a story. I’m not a writer.”
She’d said that again and again. But if she wasn’t trying to get a story, what was her angle? Everybody had one.
“Then what do you want, Kelly?” he asked.
She gazed up into his troubled eyes. She wasn’t sure why this was all so upsetting to him, but she could see that it was. He was fairly bristling with tension. Was it just that he didn’t know how to take care of a baby and was nervous about it?
No, she was pretty sure it was something more. Something deeper and more painful. Everything in her yearned to help him, human to human. This had nothing to do with her quest for his real identity.
“What I want is to help you. To help the baby.”
She saw the doubt in his face, and reached out and touched his arm. “Seriously, Joe. Right now that’s all I care about.”
He searched her eyes. “I’m telling you straight out, I don’t trust you,” he said gruffly. “But at the moment, I feel I don’t really have a choice. With the nanny gone…” He shrugged, not needing to complete the sentence. His blue eyes were clouded. “You’ve seen the way Mei reacts to me.”
Kelly bit her lip and nodded. She’d been wondering if he’d really noticed, wondering if that was what was hurting him. An unexpected feeling of tenderness toward him flooded her. There was no way she was going to leave him alone with his baby until…well, she didn’t know. But not yet.
He looked at her and saw the softening in her face. Suddenly he was breathless. That halo effect her hair had was working again. She looked like an angel.
He didn’t want to need her. He wanted to pick up his little girl and carry her into the house and live happily ever after, without Kelly Vrosis being involved in any way. But that wasn’t going to happen.
He didn’t want to need this woman, but he did.
“Do you have any real experience?” he asked, as though interviewing her for the job. “Any children?”
She shook her head. “I’m not married,” she told him. “But I do have two brothers, and they both have kids. I’ve spent plenty of time caring for my nieces and nephews. I’ll be okay.”
He stared at her a moment longer, then shrugged.
“You want to bring in her stuff?” he asked shortly, nodding toward the baggage that had come across the Pacific with Mei as he leaned in to unbuckle the baby seat from the car.
“Sure,” Kelly said, working hard on looking nonthreatening, efficient and cheerful as she gathered the things together. “Lead the way.”
He took her through a nice, ordinary living room, down a hallway and into an enchanting little girl’s paradise. Kelly gazed around in wonder. The carpet was like walking on marshmallows and it was shiny clean. A beautiful wooden crib stood against one wall, an elaborate changing table beside it. A large, overstuffed recliner sat in one corner. The closet doors opened to reveal exquisitely organized baby clothes on shelves and hangers, along with row upon row of adorable toys.
“Joe, this is perfect. I can’t believe you did this on your own.”
“I didn’t. I hired a consultant to help me.”
She almost laughed at the thought. “A consultant?”
“From Dory’s Baby Boutique in the village. The woman who runs it knows someone who does these things, and she set me up with a meeting.” He put the car seat down and picked up a business card left on top of the changing table. “Sonja Smith, Baby Decorator,” he read.
Kelly looked around the room in admiration, her gaze caught by the framed pictures of cartoon elephants in tutus and walruses in tights. “She does a great job.”
Standing in the middle of the room, looming over a sleeping Mei in her car seat, he raised one dark eyebrow and looked at Kelly speculatively. “Maybe you know her?”
She glanced at him in surprise. “No. Why would I know her?”
He shrugged again. “She was sort of pushing me about this whole Ambrian thing, too.”
Kelly’s eyes widened and her heart lurched in her chest. “What?”
“So you thought you were m
y first?” he said, showing amusement at her reaction.
Kelly’s imagination began to churn out crisis scenarios like ravioli out of a pasta machine, but she held back. She knew better than to pursue it now. The focus had to be on Mei.
Joe moved the car seat closer to the bed, obviously wondering how he was going to make the transfer to the crib without waking his little girl. Kelly started to give him some suggestions, but he did a great job on his own, laying her gently on the mattress. Kelly pulled a soft blanket over her and they both stood looking down at her.
“She’s adorable,” Kelly said softly.
He closed his eyes and leaned on the rail, his knuckles white. His reaction worried her.
“Joe, what is it?”
He turned toward her, his eyes dark and haunted. He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head. “Nothing,” he said gruffly. “But listen, I really appreciate that you offered to stay. I’m going to need the help.”
“Of course you are.”
And then she realized he didn’t only mean with the care and feeding of a small girl. There was something else tearing him apart. For a man like this, one usually so strong and so confident, to admit he needed help was a big step. She wasn’t even thinking about the whole prince thing any longer. She was thinking about the man standing here, looking so lost, racked with some kind of pain that she couldn’t begin to analyze.
“I’ll sleep right here in the room,” Kelly said quickly.
He looked around. “There’s no bed.”
“The chair reclines. With a pillow and a blanket, I’ll be fine.”
He frowned. “You won’t be comfortable there.”
“Sure I will. And I want to be right here in case she wakes up. She’ll be scared. She’ll need someone at least a little bit familiar.”
He moved restlessly, then looked at Kelly sideways. “Okay. I don’t have any women’s clothes hanging around, but I can give you a T-shirt to sleep in.”
She smiled at him. Despite everything, he looked very appealing with his hair tousled and falling over his forehead, and his eyes heavy and sleepy and his mouth so wide and inviting…