by Raye Morgan
Kelly stood holding Mei on one hip. As he entered the room, she turned and gave him a tremulous smile. She’d arranged eight-by-ten-inch photographs in groups over every flat surface in the room.
“Meet the royal family,” she told him with a flourish.
Joe stared at the pictures, and his heart began to beat faster.
“Where did you get these?” he asked her.
“This is my area of research. I brought them along to show to you.”
Taking a deep breath, he began to walk the length of the room, looking at them all, one by one. His mouth was dry and he could tell his hands were shaking. He could tell right away that there was something about these people that he connected with, something familiar that resonated in the core of his being. These pictures were going to change his life.
“Well, what do you think?” Kelly asked, after he’d had a good long time to soak it all in.
He turned and looked at her with troubled eyes. “Tell me exactly who these people are,” he said.
She pursed her lips. “I warn you, I’m going to talk about them as though they were your family.”
He nodded impatiently. “Whatever. Let’s just do this. Let’s get it done.”
She stopped before the first picture, of a very handsome couple dressed quite formally. “This is King Grandor and Queen Elineas, your father and your mother,” she said quietly. “This is their official portrait.”
She picked up two enlarged snapshots, one of them just after a tennis game, another of them sitting before a fire, both showing an engaging, happy pair. “And here are pictures of them in more casual settings.”
He nodded again. His throat was too tight to speak.
“Here is your uncle Lord Gustav. Your uncle the Archduke Nathanilius—the one who just died. Your aunt, Lady Henrika. Your grandmother, also named Henrika.”
Kelly paused, giving Joe time to take it all in. He went over each picture slowly as she named the subject, examining the eyes, studying the faces. She put Mei down in her play chair with all its attached toys and turned back to him. As she watched, she could see that his emotions were calming.
“Are you okay?” she asked him at last.
He looked up, his eyes hooded, as though he wasn’t comfortable letting her see just how moving this was to him. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”
She shrugged. “For a minute there I thought you were freaking out.”
He gave her a smile that was quickly gone. “Not me,” he said, going on to the next. “Who are these charming children?”
“These are pictures of your sisters and a couple of your brothers. They were taken just a few weeks before the coup.”
Joe lingered, studying each face as if trying to learn as much as he could about that individual. His expression had gone from shock and pure reaction to great interest. The pictures might even be said to be doing what she’d wanted them to.
She pointed to the last one. “And here is a picture of you as a four-year-old.”
He stared at that one a long, long time. Did he see himself in it? She wasn’t sure. She knew darn well she saw him in the adorable little blond boy playing with a pail and shovel in the sand.
Joe felt like a man riding a hang glider over a storm. A part of him was clinging hard to the reality that had been his all his life. The other part was catching a thrilling ride on a rainbow. Which one would he end up with? Was he even allowed to choose, or had these things already been chosen for him?
He’d grown up in a working-class family, learning working-class behavior. His goals had been those of the salt-of-the-earth types he saw around him. He’d always known he had a bright, inquiring mind that wanted to go a bit further than most of those around him cared to venture. He’d certainly taken enough ribbing for it in his past. But once he’d become an adult, he’d lived his own life and followed his own dreams. Still, they’d had nothing to do with royalty.
Royalty only happened in fairy tales. He wasn’t a fairy-tale sort of guy. Everything in him wanted to reject this crazy idea. It just wasn’t him.
And yet, as he looked at this picture of a little prince playing in the sand, something deep inside him resonated with it just a little. As he stared into the faces of the royals Kelly had put around the room, something in each one caught at a place in his emotional makeup that he wouldn’t have dreamed of before she had dropped into his life. But he couldn’t admit it to her, not yet.
Finally he looked up and smiled at her. “Thanks, Kelly,” he said calmly. “This really does help me get a fix on what this is all about.”
She waited, hoping to hear more, but he wasn’t forthcoming so she shrugged and went on to the next subject.
“I called my office a few hours ago,” she told him significantly. “There’s news.”
He frowned. “What sort of news?”
“There are rumors that one of your brothers has been sighted on his way to the funeral in Piasa.”
Joe’s mouth quirked. He didn’t bother to remind her there was no proof that any of these were his brothers. Not yet. “Which one?”
“Prince Darius.” She pointed to his picture. “He would be almost two years older than you.”
Joe nodded, looking at the picture and frowning uncertainly. “More rumors,” he murmured. “I’d like to hear some substantiated eyewitness reports.”
“Of course. We all would.” She searched his face. “So what do you think?” she asked again. “Does seeing these pictures stir any memories? Do you feel a connection to these people on any sort of visceral level?”
She was so eager, so hopeful. He turned away and didn’t answer for a long time, gazing at the pictures of his brothers. Finally he gave her a lopsided smile.
“Sure, Kelly. They look like a great bunch. Who wouldn’t want to be related to people like this?” Joe raked his fingers through his hair, making it stand up in crazy patches like it did right after surfing. “But just because they and their lifestyle of the time are very attractive, that doesn’t mean anything, does it?”
“But what if you are related to them? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”
He gave her a glance that said Not so fast. “How can I ever know for sure?”
“DNA testing,” she answered quickly. “It will take a while to get the results, but it will be worth it. You’ll have the facts.”
He stared at her for a long moment in a way that made her think he wasn’t really seeing her at all. He was seeing something else—something in the past, something in his future.
“But do I really want them?” He looked tortured as he turned away. “Would knowing mean I would suddenly have a whole new area of responsibility? What would I have to do? And what the hell do I care, anyway?”
She swallowed, surprised and somewhat dismayed at his reaction. “Are you saying you really don’t care? That you don’t want to know?”
“Kelly…” He turned and stared at her again. Then his expression softened and he took her face in his hands and tilted it up. “Kelly, I know you care so much. You’ve been living with this, trying to get the answer to this puzzle, for so long. You have your own life invested in it. But I don’t. Until I see more than this…”
She was breathless, not sure why he was holding her face this way, as though she was someone he treasured. But she liked it—she really liked it. Her body felt as though it were made of liquid, as if she could float away on a magical stream of happiness if she let herself. He was so close and his touch felt so good.
He seemed to be studying her face, but she hardly noticed. She was caught up in a wave of feeling—feeling his hands on her face, feeling his breath on her lips, feeling his affection, even his desire. Was that right? Wasn’t that the flicker of something hot and raw that she saw in the depths of his eyes? Was she imagining it?
As if to answer that question, he dropped a quick, soft kiss on her lips, and then reluctantly—she could swear it was reluctantly—drew away.
“I’ve already got a life plann
ed out, Kelly,” he told her. “I don’t need a major change. I’m not sure I could handle it.”
Her face felt cool where his palms had been, and now her heart was chilled by what he was saying.
“I…I think you could handle just about anything,” she said, working to regain her equilibrium. “I’ve seen you surf.”
His quick flash of a grin reassured her, but he still looked as though he wanted to go. Maybe he needed to. Maybe he needed to assimilate the information he’d taken in here. Still, she needed more from him. She had only a short time left and she had to get all she could from it.
“Wait,” she said, afraid he would leave the room entirely. “Please, Joe. Do one more thing for me.”
He looked into her eyes with a tenderness that confused her. “Anything,” he replied.
She took in a deep breath. “Sit down here on the couch with me for a few minutes. Tell me about what you remember of your childhood. Help me fill in some of the blanks.”
“Sure.” He shrugged, then glanced at Mei. “Is she going to last?”
Kelly hesitated. “I think so. She’s still tired from her flight, I think. Baby jet lag. So she’ll probably go down soon. But we’ll hope for the best.”
Kelly sat and so did he.
“The information I have on your background is really sketchy,” she began. “I know you spent your early years in London. The woman listed as your mother died, and you were adopted by your aunt and uncle, and they brought you to New York. By the time you were a teenager, the family had moved here to San Diego.”
He gazed at her in wonder. “How do you know all this stuff?”
She shrugged. “I know where to look. It’s all in public records, and not that hard to get when you know what to ask for.” She gave him a quick smile. “It’s my job, remember?”
He began to look at her as though he wasn’t sure if she was the same Kelly he thought he knew. “Are you some kind of private eye?”
“I’ve told you all about it before. I’m an analyst. An investigator of sorts. But really just an analyst.”
He was still looking at her as though he wasn’t too sure, but she was ready to move on.
“Listen, I know about your service with the Army Rangers in Southeast Asia. And I know a little bit about what you went through in the Philippines.”
He glanced at her and bit his tongue. There were things he could say, but he wasn’t going to say them. She might think she knew, but there was no way she could know the half of it.
“I know about how you were wounded. In fact, it was that article in a local newspaper I just happened to see, all about your wounds and how you were recuperating. That’s how I first found out about you. What I don’t know is all the connections in between. Tell me why you went into the army instead of going to college. Tell me how you ended up being adopted by those people.” She put her hands out, palms up. “Tell me the story from your point of view.”
He watched Mei playing with a stuffed clown for a moment, then took a deep breath. “Okay, here goes. Here’s what the woman I called ‘Mum’ always told me.”
“Your, uh, mother?”
“No. My mother was a maid who actually did work for the royal family of some country. Mum never seemed to be sure what one, but it could have been Ambria, I suppose. My mother’s name was Sally Tanner. She wasn’t married and no one knows who my father was. She brought me back to England when I was four, but she died when I was five. I actually remember her a bit. Just a little bit.”
He paused for a moment, recalling it all. Yes, he remembered her. But he didn’t remember loving her. And that had bothered him all his life.
“I got passed around from one relative to another for a few years and finally got adopted by a sister of Sally’s. Martha and Ned Tanner. Martha is the one I called Mum. They brought me along when they emigrated to New York, and we moved to California when I was twelve.”
“So you have a family,” she noted, relieved to hear it.
He shrugged. “I had a family,” he corrected. “A family of sorts. I never felt like I was any more than an afterthought, though. I never knew why they decided to adopt me. There was never any real closeness.”
He stopped. What the hell was he doing, opening up old wounds to a woman he’d only just met? A woman he knew was fishing for exactly this type of information. Was he crazy? This was the sort of garbage that stirred up old resentments and made them fester. He never told anyone this stuff. Why was he telling her? He was going to stop. Let her find out what she wanted to know by going to these sources she seemed to be so good at finding.
Incredibly, despite his determination, he heard himself talking again. He was telling her more. Unbelievable.
“I grew up pretty much like any other American kid, playing baseball and football and living a typical suburban American life. Ned and Martha got divorced and things got a lot worse financially after that. My socalled brother and sister both began to get into trouble. Things just generally fell apart. So when I graduated high school, I wanted to get as far away from them all as possible. I joined the army. And I guess you know most of the rest.”
She nodded, touched and saddened by what he’d gone through as a child. She was so sure he was royal, and yet he’d grown up in hard circumstances, the hardest being not having anyone to really love him. She wanted to put her arms around him and tell him it was okay, but she knew he wouldn’t welcome something like that. Besides, what could she promise him? That life would be better from now on? That was something she really couldn’t manipulate for him. Better to keep quiet.
By now, Mei was fussing and needed attention. Kelly rose, put a hand on his shoulder and said softly, “Thank you for telling me that, Joe. I know it’s an intrusion to even ask you, so I really do appreciate it.”
He caught her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the palm in a way that startled her.
“Isn’t it obvious I’ll do just about anything for you?” he said, pretending to be teasing, but coming across as serious as she’d ever seen him. He let her go tend to the baby, but her heart was thumping.
She’d spent a lifetime finding all the men she met and dated completely inadequate. And now she’d turned around and fallen in love with a prince.
Mei, who had been so good for the last two days, fell apart when Kelly took her to her room. She cried and she wailed and she sobbed, and nothing could console her. Kelly rocked her and walked her and tried every trick she’d seen her sister-in-law employ. Nothing worked.
Joe looked in on them. “Anything I can do?” he asked.
Kelly shook her head. “She’s just so tired, but she can’t fall asleep,” she told him. “I may have to put her down and let her cry herself to sleep, but I hate to do it. That can take hours.”
He groaned. “Oh, well. You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din,” he said as he walked back to the other room.
Kelly wasn’t sure what that meant, but she knew it was a compliment, so took it in good spirits. But she was getting desperate as far as this baby was concerned.
She held Mei and rocked her and hummed a tune or two, trying to think of something she could sing besides “Rock-a-bye Baby,” which she’d already done to death.
And suddenly one came to her. She hummed it for a moment and then began to sing. It was in a foreign tongue, but the words came naturally to her, and she realized after a moment that it was in Ambrian.
She didn’t remember ever singing this song before, and yet she seemed to know all the words. She sang it more softly, again and again, and Mei finally began to quiet. It was the only thing that seemed to please the child. In a few minutes, she was asleep.
Kelly kept singing. She knew how easily babies came awake again and she was going to make sure this one was out. At the same time, she was marveling at the mind’s ability to pull things from the past, things one didn’t even know one possessed. She was singing a song in Ambrian that she was sure her mother must have sung to her when she was a baby. It was
all there, sounds more than words, but nevertheless, complete. It felt like a miracle.
Joe heard the whole thing. He sat in the living room and listened to Kelly singing a song in a language he didn’t understand, and suddenly he found he had tears streaming down his cheeks. He knew that song. Not consciously, not overtly, but his heart knew it. His soul had been nurtured by it years ago. It was a part of his heritage. He could never lose it.
And now he knew the truth. He was Ambrian. There was no denying it any longer.
Chapter Nine
RISING SLOWLY FROM his chair, Joe went to the garage and rummaged around until he found his old army duffel bag. Deep inside, down at the bottom, he found an old cigar box wrapped in rubber bands, and pulled it out. Most of the bands disintegrated as he tried to remove them, and the box opened easily. Inside were artifacts of a life he didn’t really remember, and a place he didn’t really know. He’d never understood what they were. Maybe Kelly would be able to interpret them for him. He tucked the box under his arm and went back into the house.
She had just put Mei down and was coming out of the room when she met Joe in the hall. He showed her the box.
“Come on into the living room. I want you to take a look at this,” he said.
He spread the items out on the coffee table, under the light, and the two of them looked at them. Kelly’s heart was beating out of her chest. There were three gold buttons with lion heads carved in them, such as might have been on a little boy’s dress jacket. There was a small child’s prayer book, a small signet ring, and a brightly colored ribbon with a tin medal dangling from it.
Kelly picked up the prayer book. There was an inscription in the front, written in Ambrian. She wasn’t great at the language, but she knew enough to translate, “To my most adorable little son. Say your prayers! Your Mama.”
Kelly could hardly breathe. She looked at Joe. “Where did you get these things?”