by Marie Harte
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks.”
Dylan grinned. “I think it’s time I met her. The Halloween party is tonight, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So let me be you. I’ll feel her out for you.” The sly look on Dylan’s face meant more than Derrick felt comfortable with.
“You touch her and I’ll break both your arms.”
“Sure. You’re casual. Right.” Dylan shook his head. “You’ve hit bottom, brother. Rock bottom. You’re in love with the woman. It’d be terrific news if you weren’t so stupid about it.”
“Fuck off.”
“Please. You came here looking for advice. The fact that you actually used Mom to get closer to Sydney is telling. What we know about your redhead—she has commitment issues. Her mother was never there for her and she goes through men like you go through women.” Dylan’s lips quirked. “Or should I say, how you used to go through women?”
“Don’t be a Dick.” Even though he was right. “How do you know about her mother?”
“Hailey, Mom and I talk about more than Gage and wedding plans.”
“Really?” Derrick narrowed his gaze. “What do you say about me?”
“You really want to know?”
“Yeah.”
Dylan sighed. “You want what Mom and Dad had, but you’re afraid you’ll never find a woman that special. So you go out of your way to find unsuitable prospects like Brittney, the March twins, Gina...shall I go on?”
“Oh sure thing, Dr. Freud. This is fascinating.” And oddly on the money.
“Your dates are all, on the surface, perfect for you. Beautiful, successful and usually wealthy, because you don’t want a woman who desires you for your money. You’re susceptible to the same needs most of us have. You want to be valued for yourself.”
“No shit.”
“But instead of taking a chance on a real woman you can connect with, you settle for tepid sexual relationships you end within weeks, because God forbid you find a woman you might fall in love with. I think Brittney lasted the longest. What, a month and a half?”
Derrick shrugged. At the time of their breakup, he’d actually felt bad. She’d seemed torn-up when he’d ended it, right before she’d called him an asshole and kicked his ass out of her apartment. The next time he’d seen her, she’d been pleasant. Even friendly. A woman like Brittney would find another man easily, so he hadn’t thought twice about her. But after what she’d done to Sydney, he never wanted to see the woman again. “She gave great head, but she got clingy.”
“And she paraded you around like a prize poodle. I hadn’t seen that one coming. She seemed too mature for that.”
“Yeah, well, she wasn’t. Mature, yeah, and self-centered.” Derrick sighed. “For all that we had a few good times, and some great sex, everything came back to Brittney. I’d hoped that might not be the case, but I pegged it. Didn’t I bet you she was too hot to be single when we started dating? That there had to be something wrong with her? I won twenty bucks, remember?”
“Right. Never bet against you. I should know by now you never lose. Unless we’re talking about one woman in particular, because you have no idea what you’re doing with Sydney.”
“Up yours.” Derrick shot Dylan the finger.
His brother grinned and shot it right back.
Derrick sighed. “So what do I do? I have a bad feeling I really like Sydney, but she wants nothing to do with a boyfriend, let alone a—” He stopped himself short from saying husband, shocked to realize his thoughts had graduated to that line of thinking. In a hoarse voice, he continued, “I’m no good at this shit. With women, it’s a cycle. We date, we fuck, we try to connect. Then we always end up going our separate ways. But with Sydney, I actually like hanging out and not having sex. It’s weird.”
Dylan rolled his eyes. “Not having sex with a woman is not weird, you Neanderthal. It’s normal.”
“Yeah, if you’re gay.”
“Fuckwad.” Dylan scowled. “It’s normal if you’re straight too. I’ve been out with plenty of men and women, and we spend time together getting to know one another, not just in bed.”
“So why aren’t you married?”
“Because I’m exactly like you. I’m afraid of not finding anyone who will match me the way Dad matched Mom. When he passed, it was hard on all of us. But Mom suffered so much.” Dylan grew quiet, and they shared the memories of their mother crying day after day, suffering a deep and lasting depression.
“James helped her out of it.”
Dylan blinked. “I’m surprised you know that.”
Derrick frowned. “I may be self-absorbed at times, but I know Mom. James is her best friend. Hell, she tells him shit about us all the time.”
Dylan grimaced. “I know. I hate that. It’s one thing when Mom analyzes me, but I don’t like it when James does. He’s almost fatherly about it. It creeps me out.” He pursed his lips but didn’t speak.
“What?”
“Nothing. Something I need to talk to James about. My point about you—and me—is that we’re basically the same. Only I’m mature and smart enough to understand my issues. Instead of solving my problems with meaningless sex—”
“Orgasms aren’t meaningless, Poindexter. They’re pretty damned good. Especially with Sydney.”
“—I look at life with my eyes wide open. I’m not turning away from the possibility of a meaningful relationship. I just need the right person.”
“I still think it’s weird you like dudes.”
Dylan grinned, and Derrick cringed, anticipating what his brother would say. “You think Brittney gave good head, you should let a man do it to you. We know our own equipment better than they ever can.”
“Fuck, Dylan. TMI.”
The bastard had the nerve to laugh. “Hey, I’m equal opportunity. Women too. If I met a woman who looked at me the way Hailey looks at Gage, I’d snap her up in a heartbeat.” He sobered. “So pay attention to Sydney. You’ve never fallen for a woman before her. You want to win her or what?”
Derrick wished he needed to think about it more, but the answer came out way too easily. “Hell, yes.”
“Then listen to what I tell you. And whatever you do, don’t ask Mom for more advice. She thinks like a woman, but with Sydney, you need someone who thinks like a man. Your girl has the same instincts you do when it comes to relationships. Trust me on this.”
“Yeah, but Mom was right about not having sex with Sydney. And no, I can’t believe I just said that.” He made a face. “I can just imagine laying on her couch and telling her I did Sydney doggie style. Christ.”
“I doubt she wants those kinds of details.” Dylan shook his head. “She’s into the emotional aftereffects, dumbass. We’re not perverts, Derrick. We’re therapists. Problem is, Mom should know better than to work on family.”
“Then shouldn’t you?”
“No, because giving you advice is like giving myself advice. Now shut up and listen.”
Chapter Seven
Across town in Gage and Hailey’s house, Sydney sighed. “I don’t know what to do, Hailey. I’ve been seeing way too much of Derrick.”
Hailey nodded. “I know. Gage tells me things.”
Sydney perked up. “Like what?”
Hailey glanced around. Gage was supposedly working out in the garage, but Sydney wouldn’t put it past him to spy on her for Derrick, which should have annoyed her. Instead, she found Derrick’s need to know what she said about him understandable, and something she’d have done if she could.
“Like how weird Derrick’s been acting. He never talks about you. No details about sexual escapades or anything.” The implied question there had her sighing.
“There haven’t been any, not in two weeks.” She was convinced the man no longer liked her. Except he kept showing up to hang out. He’d unfortunately taken her to heart when she said she wanted to remain friends. Friends? She wanted him to screw her brains out, to taken control and sh
ow her how it felt to be a woman possessed, the way he had before. She’d never had man satisfy her like that, had never trusted one enough to let go. Not the way she trusted Derrick.
But if she had to tell him, then he wasn’t the man for her. No matter how much she actually...liked him.
Hailey blinked. “Seriously? But that’s all you and your boyfriends ever do. Bonk each other.”
“That’s boink each other, you dumb blonde.”
“Hey.”
“Oh, go stuff yourself. You’re happy and engaged. I’m not getting laid and falling for a handsome guy I should have nothing to do with. We’re not even having sex and I like him. With my luck, he’ll break my heart and I’ll turn into my mother, who’s visiting next week by the way.”
“Oh man. What rotten timing.” Hailey cringed. “Want me to run interference?”
“Nah. That’s not fair to you. But thanks for asking.” Sydney had long ago resolved herself to loving but not liking her mother. She could never forgive Isabel Fields for putting her last, and oddly enough, she was okay with that. Especially since her mother had never asked for forgiveness.
Every year or so, Isabel would show up, need some Mommy-time—which equated to showing off how terrific she looked. No one ever believed Isabel had a thirty-year-old daughter. They looked more like sisters. The woman was a knockout, and she used her looks to her advantage.
Sydney tolerated her visits, mostly because she felt duty-bound to see her mother. Isabel hadn’t been abusive; she had provided Sydney with the essentials during her younger years. Besides, Isabel never stayed long, not if she had a man in her life. The woman clung to men like ivy to crumbling brick. Once the relationship died, as they always did, she reseeded herself and found a new man to leech off of.
Hailey popped her in the arm.
“Hey!”
“Stop ignoring me. Listen. I know you don’t believe me, but Derrick’s different than the other guys you’ve dated. Not just because he’s Gage’s brother. He’s a genuine person. Sure, his track record with women is spotty, but it’s a mirror image of yours with men.”
“And now she insults me.”
“Well, it’s true. You look at every guy you date like he’s one of your past uncles. Not only is that creepy, but none of the guys ever made you happy.” Hailey stared at her with those big eyes. “You’re not your mother, Sydney. And it’s time you realized that.”
Sydney sat up straight. “You think that’s what I’ve been doing all these years? Thinking I’m her?”
“Aren’t you? Unlike her, you don’t try to convince yourself you love any of them. You just use them for sex. But not one guy you’ve ever dated has been what I’d call nice.”
“Maybe I like bad boys.” Derrick definitely had a naughty side to him. Or at least, he used to have one.
“Can you honestly tell me you’ve ever liked anyone you’ve dated?”
“Sure. There was—”
“That you slept with,” Hailey clarified.
To her mortification, Sydney couldn’t. Not until Derrick, except he wasn’t sleeping with her anymore. Her eyes filled. “Oh my God. I’m exactly like her. I’m Isabel Fields!” Her worst fear come true.
Hailey rushed to her side and hugged her. “Stop it. You are not.”
“But Hailey, I’m a user. I’m terrible.” She hadn’t meant to treat her boyfriends like crap. But so many of them had deserved it. Maybe because she’d intentionally picked assholes?
“You’re not a user, you’re not your mother—God forbid—and you’re growing out of it.”
“Growing how? My ass? My thighs? What? Where? You think I’m gaining weight?” she joked, trying to stop feeling sorry for herself.
Hailey snorted with laughter. “You’re the vainest woman I know. Would you shut up a minute? You’re not fat. Come to think of it, you feel thinner to me.”
She groaned. “I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I think about that jerk all the time.”
“Who?”
“Derrick, Hailey. Focus, would you?”
“Oh, right. I didn’t realize he was such a jerk.”
More tears threatened to fall. “He won’t have sex with me. He’s a complete jerk...except he’s not. That’s what’s so awful. I made all these rules he’s actually following. We’re not supposed to date, and we aren’t. We were just supposed to get the sex out of the way. And I guess we did, but I still want him all the time. So we don’t have sex, and we hang out. And I...”
“Yeah?”
“I like him.” She burst into tears.
Gage chose that moment to step into the room. He took one look at them on the couch, turned around and left.
“God. N-now I’m man-repellent,” Sydney stuttered through her tears. “I’m an idiot. I don’t even know why I’m crying. But I feel so emotional lately. I think I connect with Derrick, and I’m so afraid one day he’ll just stop coming around. But I’m also afraid he might stay. Does that make sense, or am I totally crazy?”
Hailey nodded. “Oh honey. I sometimes feel the same way. It’s hard to put yourself out there. You just have to live it day in and day out. Trust yourself, then trust him.”
“Him?” She didn’t want to say his name, to admit she was in danger of falling in love with one of the Warren twins. Oh my God! She was falling hard for Derrick Warren with no way to stop.
“Don’t be an idiot. We’re talking about the man you’ve fallen in love with.”
Sydney felt the truth like a slap in the face when Hailey said the words. Not falling for. Fallen for. For three months she’d talked to him, falling slowly under his spell. He was sexy, had a great sense of humor, and came from a family that showed each other how much they cared. Then the sex had been perfect. Not just great, not just wow, but incredibly right. They fit each other, and he was the most unselfish lover she’d ever been with.
A man that made sure she came before he did? Unheard of. But the last two weeks had worn her down. She counted the minutes until they saw one another. The hint of a dark SUV like his made her heart jump. Receiving text messages from him thrilled her. Beck’s Loser had become her favorite friggin’ song.
“I hate the way I feel, all needy and lovesick,” she admitted in a quiet voice.
Hailey stroked her hair. “I know. It sucks. But look at it this way. I bet he feels the same way.”
The thought amused her, and then she felt a measure of inspiration. “You think?”
“Yep.” She glanced around again. “I’m not supposed to say anything, but I know he’s having a hard time knowing what to do with you. He even consulted his mom about you, because he was frantic to get you to talk to him. Hell, he used me too.”
“He did, didn’t he?” The knowledge that he’d gone crazy when she wouldn’t talk to him softened her up even more.
“Sydney, you’re the most confident woman I know. If you want a stable relationship with anyone, Derrick or any other guy, take back control. When I finally realized how I felt about Gage, you told me to believe in myself. Well, back at you, girlfriend. Do you think you can have a meaningful relationship with a man? Or are you just like your mother?”
“I don’t want to be like her. Most of the time, I don’t even like her. I’m a terrible person, aren’t I?”
“Not at all. I don’t like her much either. But you didn’t answer the question. Are you just like your mother? Would you ignore a friend or daughter for a man?”
“Hell no.”
“Not even for Derrick?”
If there was a man she might cling to, it was him. And yet, she’d never leave Hailey hurting or needing her just to make Derrick happy. “Not even for him.”
“Have you ever followed a man around because he’s your sugar daddy? Or do you make a comfortable living on your own? Do you have friends? Are you selfish? Are you on your sixth marriage?”
“No, no, no and no. Wait, how many questions did you ask?” She shared a teary grin with Hailey. “You always make me feel better
. Well, you do when it’s not before noon.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “So okay. If I want to try being a real person dating a real man, what do I do?”
Hailey shrugged. “Wake him up. Shake him up. That’s what I’d do if Gage hadn’t made love to me in a few weeks. The one time I wore this really sexy outfit, he went out of his mind.”
Sydney nodded. “I actually have a few ideas. Can I borrow that French maid costume you wore to last year’s Halloween party?”
“Oh boy.” Hailey gave her a high-five. “Derrick is not going to know what hit him tonight, is he?”
“Nope.” The time had come to prove Sydney was nothing like her mother. She liked Derrick a lot. More than a lot.
He helped people. Mentored kids at the junior college on his own time. He loved his family. A guy who knew what loyalty meant and respected women was a rarity in her world of users and losers. Hell, she’d met Barbara Warren once before. No way would that woman let her son grow up to be a chauvinist.
It was time to turn up the heat and see what Derrick was like under real pressure. If she had to stir his interest by showing a little skin in public and turning the tables, so be it. This time she’d play hard to get, and she’d snag him before he knew what had hit him. Sydney was a hell of a lot more than just any woman. She was a prize to be won, and it was past time she remembered that.
Time for the games to begin.
Chapter Eight
Derrick felt like an idiot wearing a pirate shirt that bared his chest and tight black trousers that clung to his thighs, but the women at the party seemed to like his costume well enough. Where the hell was Sydney? He hadn’t seen her or Hailey, come to think of it. Then he spotted Gage by the punch bowl.
The annual Halloween bash brought in tons of new clients. Warren Construction and a few other businesses provided the funds while the Conservation Center set up the decorations in their community hall. Located right on the River Walk, the place had the right atmosphere for a Halloween party. Tonight the moonlight glinted off the Savannah River while the outdoor hall remained shrouded in shadow, the dim lighting and dry ice providing the perfect environment for ghosts and ghouls to come calling.