by Rebecca Shea
“I will.”
She stands up and pulls her purse off the back of her chair. “I’m really glad you’re home, Lindsay. We’ve all missed you.”
“It’s good to be home,” I admit. Elaine’s phone rings and, with a brisk wave, she disappears into the line of bodies waiting to order coffee while I remain seated, contemplating her offer. I smile and look around the Starbucks that is buzzing with people and positive energy. Good things happen here, I think to myself as I easily make a decision about the job offer. I grab a coffee to go as I run through the mental checklist of things I have to pack for my trip to Arizona and California.
I waited a day to call Elaine and accept the position, so long as they were willing to work with me on keeping reasonable hours and were flexible with some of the appointments I’d like to maintain with my therapist and nutritionist. She didn’t hesitate and we agreed that I’d start in two-weeks, which gives me time to get through Landon and Reagan’s wedding and find a place to live. I search online for apartments while I wait to board my flight to Phoenix and I’ve found a couple of places that are close to the beach, yet still convenient to downtown. I spend the entire flight reading another book from Samantha and making a list of things to do when I get back to Wilmington.
My nerves finally settle in when I land in Phoenix. I’m blasted by heat once again when I step off the plane and into the jetway. Does it ever cool down here? I walk through the massive airport and exit to find Mike and Javier waiting for me. Mike is holding a piece of cardboard that has “Christianson” written in bold black letters. I laugh out loud and run over to him, jumping into his hug.
“Look. At. You,” he says, squeezing me. Javier picks up my suitcase, which fell over when I jumped into Mike’s arms. “You look amazing.”
“I feel amazing,” I tell him as he sets me back onto my feet.
“Welcome back,” Javier says, giving me a quick hug.
“Thank you both for picking me up. I really appreciate it.” Mike scoffs at me.
“Not a chance I was letting you sneak back into town without spending time with you.” We start walking toward the elevators that will take us to the parking garage. “I can’t believe you’re leaving us for good, though.” He sticks out his bottom lip in a pouty motion. “But I understand; we all do.”
“I’m going to go into the office and talk to Rob tomorrow. I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be,” he says kindly. “He’s been asking if I’ve heard from you.”
“I just don’t want to see Amanda.”
“Don’t even think about that witch.”
“Hard not to,” I say, settling into the back seat of Javier’s car.
The ride to the condo is full of laughs and catching up. I only begin to get nervous when we pull into the attached parking garage. I pull the keycard from my purse and hand it to Javier, who swipes it and the metal gate opens, allowing us to enter. Jack made arrangements for my leased Lexus to be returned, so Javier pulls into the empty spot for my condo.
Anxiety sets in as we ride quietly in the elevator to the twenty-second floor. Mike notices and gently pulls my hand into his, giving it a light squeeze. Javier carries my luggage and I hold the key to my condo in my hand. The elevator doors slide open and we step out into the quiet hallway. Mike nudges me, urging me to walk down the hall toward my door. My feet carry me down the narrow hall to the door, where I insert the key and twist it. I push the door open and step inside the darkened condo.
All the curtains had been pulled tightly closed over the floor-length windows and the air conditioning had been turned off, making the condo warm with heavy, dank air.
“Where’s the thermostat?” Javier asks, setting my suitcase on the floor just inside the door.
“On the wall next to the master bedroom.” I point toward the wall with the open door. Javier crosses the living room and starts pushing buttons on the keypad of the thermostat.
“Let’s open this place up,” Mike says, reaching for the long rod that hangs from all of the curtains. He pushes the long curtains open, securing them behind the finials on the wall. “That’s better.”
The warm afternoon sun pours into the condo and casts an amber glow throughout. The air conditioning kicks on and cool air starts filling the room. Javier carries my suitcase to the bedroom and I sit on the couch, quietly taking in the surroundings of the condo for the first time all over again. There are boxes packed and taped shut sitting on the kitchen island.
“I’ll ship those,” Mike says when he sees me eyeing them. “The only thing I didn’t pack was your dresser. It just seemed too personal to have me rummaging through your intimates.” He winks at me. “Your closet is packed in most of those tall boxes.” He gestures toward the large wardrobe boxes. “If you pack up your dresser while you’re here, I’ll have all the boxes picked up and sent at the same time.”
“Mike.” I turn to look at him. “Thank you for everything.”
“It’s really no problem at all. I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”
“Mike, let’s give Lindsay some time to get settled,” Javier interjects. “I’m sure she’s tired from the flight and might like some time to be alone.” He raises his eyebrows and encourages Mike to get up.
“Call me if you need anything,” Mike says, standing up. “And let me know when you’re on your way over to the station tomorrow. I’ll meet you in the reception area. I’m sure your access badge has been shut off.”
“I will. Thank you both—for everything,” I tell them as they leave. Javier nods at me as he closes the door behind them. I stretch out on the long couch with a throw pillow propped under my head and stare out the window at the afternoon sun that has just begun to set.
I jerk awake suddenly at the loud banging. It takes me a moment to remember that I’m in my condo in Phoenix. The moonlight illuminates the dark condo and I stumble into the kitchen to flip on some lights. The banging continues and I realize someone is out in the hall, knocking on Jonah’s door. I’m unable to see anyone through the peephole and I turn the deadbolt lock on my door just as a precaution. I eye the stack of empty boxes in the corner and grab one as I head into the bedroom to pack up the last remaining items to be shipped back to North Carolina.
I set the box on the floor next to my bed and begin with the nightstand. I pull the drawer open and eye the contents. A book, some pictures, a notebook and pen, and the open box of condoms. I pull each condom out of the large box and count all nine of them. I walk them to the bathroom garbage and throw them in the trash along with the box they came in. I tie up the trash bag and toss it out the door and into the living room before moving on to the small toiletry closet in the bathroom. Emptying that closet of the handful of items that were in there, I tape the box closed and carry it to the kitchen, adding it to the pile of boxes all set to ship.
I pack one more box of clothing from my dresser before taking a quick shower and crawling into bed for the evening. My stomach twists with anxiety when I think about talking to Rob at the TV station tomorrow morning and cleaning out my desk—closing the door on that job and moving forward to my new life back in Wilmington.
As I lie in the dark, the mirror on my wall begins to shake from the beat of the bass next door and I lie sleepless, much like I did my first night in Phoenix; the irony. I push the sheet off of me and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I reach for my cellphone and swipe the screen. Pushing the contacts button, I scroll to Jonah’s name and push the call button. Reaching over, I turn on the bedside lamp that sits on the nightstand while the phone rings. After the fourth ring, I get sent to voicemail. I end the call and set the phone back on my nightstand while I contemplate whether to go knock on his door.
My cellphone begins vibrating and I reach for it as Jonah’s name flashes across the screen.
“Hello?” I answer quietly. Loud music and screaming voices fill the line in the background.
“Lindsay.” His voice is cool, his attitude clipped. “You call
ed?”
“Hi, Jonah.” He doesn’t respond. I can hear the music clearly through the phone as I sit deciding what to say to him. “Think you can turn the music down? I’m trying to sleep.”
“Where are you?” he asks quickly.
“In my bed.” With no other words said, the line goes dead. Suddenly, the mirror stops shaking, the music is shut off, and I lay my head back down on my pillow. I leave on the lamp on my nightstand and close my eyes. Not even five minutes later, there is a loud rap on my door and I take a deep breath, knowing that it’s Jonah.
I walk through the dark living room, careful to avoid the coffee table and end tables as I make my way to the front door. I peek through the peephole and see Jonah with his forehead resting against my door. I flip the deadbolt, unlocking the door, and turn the handle. Jonah stands on wobbly legs as I pull the door open and braces himself against the doorframe. He smells of alcohol and nicotine.
“Jonah,” I say as he smiles at me and stumbles.
“You’re here.”
“I am. You’re drunk.”
“I am. Can I come in?”
“No. I have an early appointment in the morning and I have to get to bed.” He looks over my shoulder and sees the boxes stacked on and next to the kitchen island.
“You’re moving?”
I nod quickly. “I am, back to North Carolina.”
“No, Lindsay, wait…”
“Jonah,” I cut him off. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” I place my hand on his chest to help steady him, but to also keep him from coming into my condo. “I promise. As soon as I’m back from my meeting, I’ll stop by. You need to sleep—and shower,” I say. The odor of alcohol is seeping from his skin.
“Can I sleep here?” He leans into me and I push back on him.
“No.” My answer is firm and direct. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Don’t shut me out, Lindsay,” he says quietly.
“Jonah,” I say, my voice strong in warning. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” I step back and shut the door, turning the deadbolt. I stand momentarily, waiting to hear him shuffle next door, but I don’t hear him leave. I retreat back to my bedroom, shutting off the light and crawling under the covers. I lay awake most of the night, a million thoughts swirling through my busy mind. I vaguely remember closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep just as the sun is beginning to rise.
My eyes flutter open to the sun bleeding through the sheer curtains of my room. I jump out of bed and quickly shower and dry my hair. I step into a multi-colored cotton shift dress and a pair of wedge heels. Nice enough for a meeting with Rob, but comfortable enough to pack up my desk at the same time. I spend a few minutes applying make-up and running a large curling iron through my already wavy hair. Satisfied with how I look, I feel good—confident.
Grabbing my cell phone and purse, I pound out a quick text message to Mike, letting him know I’m picking up coffees on my way to the office and I need his order. Pulling the door open, I find Jonah sitting in the hallway, his legs propped up and bent at the knees. His head is resting against the wall and his eyes are red and bloodshot.
“Jonah,” I say, shutting the door behind me and locking it. “What are you doing out here?”
“Waiting for you.” He swallows hard and I watch his Adam’s apple jump slightly in his neck.
“I told you I had an appointment this morning and I would talk to you when I got back.”
“You can’t leave,” he says quietly. I sigh and bend down next to him.
“Go rest. I promise to come over in a couple of hours. Come on.” I tug on his arm, coaxing him to stand up. He pushes himself upward and leans against the wall to balance himself. “Go shower. I’ll be over as soon as I’m done with my appointment.” He nods and walks alongside me to his condo as I walk to the elevator. I press the call button and wait while Jonah leans against his door, staring at me.
“You’re beautiful,” he says with his hand on the door handle.
“Thank you,” I reply quietly. “You’re a mess,” I joke with him, but I smile in return as I step into the elevator.
“No doubt,” I hear him say as the elevator doors close behind me.
Thirty minutes later, I’m standing in the lobby of the TV station, holding two cups of coffee and wearing a nervous smile on my face. The large, wooden door opens and Mike finally greets me, pulling his cup of coffee from my hand.
“Morning,” he says, pressing an air kiss next to my cheek.
“Morning,” I respond and follow him through the door and down the hallway back to the offices. My heart races as Rob’s office comes into view.
“He knows you’re coming. I told him after the morning production meeting,” Mike says. “I’ve got a box in your cube. When you’re through in Rob’s office, meet me there,” he says with a smile. “Don’t be nervous. He’s excited to see you.”
“I look like I’m going to barf, don’t I?”
“Yes,” he says with a laugh. “Just go get it over with.” With his encouragement, I stride over to the glass door and knock twice. Rob looks up from his desk and a smile stretches across his bearded face. He waves me in and I turn the handle on his office door.
“Lindsay,” he says excitedly.
“Hi, Rob.”
“So good to see you. You look great.” I shut the door behind me and stand nervously juggling my coffee from one hand to the other and back again. “Please sit down.”
I set the cup of coffee on Rob’s desk as I sit down and straighten out my dress and cross my legs. Once I’m situated I take a quick sip of the coffee in hopes to calm the uneasiness in my voice.
“Thanks for seeing me.”
“I’m really glad you came by. How are you doing?” He sits in his leather chair, his hands folded neatly in his lap.
“I’m doing really, really well. Thank you for asking.”
“You look happy.”
“I am. I didn’t realize how miserable I was until it was too late. Rob, I owe you an apology. You took a chance on me and I let you down. A part of me was excited for this opportunity, but another part of me was absolutely miserable leaving North Carolina. I was trying to prove myself to you and Jack and I was self-destructing at the same time.” He holds up his hand to stop me.
“Lindsay. You have the talent to make it in a market this size. Your ability to tell a story is like very few others I’ve seen. You’re young and you’re ambitious, but I knew your heart wasn’t here.”
“It wasn’t,” I confirm. “I shouldn’t have acted, or should I say, reacted to Amanda the way I did.”
He rolls his eyes. “Between you and me, she deserved much worse than what you handed to her. I just couldn’t have that happen in the office on my watch,” he smirks. “I really do wish nothing but the best for you, and I’m actually really disappointed to see you go.”
“I was pretty sure that breaking contract with you was going to tank my career.” He shakes his head.
“I told Jack I wouldn’t let that happen. Don’t get me wrong. It was a pretty big inconvenience explaining your sudden departure, and subsequently finding your replacement, but in the end, everything always works out how it should.”
I breathe a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you for everything. I mean it.” He nods his head.
“So what are your plans?” he asks.
“Surprisingly, WXZI offered me my position back. I still have to work out all the details, but my priorities have changed and they’re willing to work with that.” I smile when I think about spending more time focusing on me. Spending days doing things I love other than working every single day for over twelve hours.
“Good.” He smiles. “I knew Jack would take care of you.”
I stand up from my chair and adjust the purse that hangs from my shoulder and the cup of coffee in my hand.
“Thank you again, Rob.”
“Keep in touch, Lindsay. I’m sure our paths will cross again someday.”
“I hope they will,” I ad
mit honestly. I leave his office, shutting the door behind me. Mike stands in the hall just outside my cube entrance, waiting for me. I glide down the hallway, happy that the burden of talking to Rob is over and went better than I anticipated. Every day, a little weight I’ve been carrying seems suddenly to lift.
“How’d it go?” Mike asks reluctantly as I duck into my cube.
“Actually, really good. He was great.”
“Told you,” he smirks.
“You’re just like my brother… you always have to be right,” I joke with him. I take a box from the floor and set it on my desk, filling it with the two picture frames I have sitting on my desk and a few notebooks. My bottom drawer holds a make-up bag and four pairs of shoes that I always kept at the office as “back-up.” I shove all of that into the box and fold the flaps of the box, securing the top.
“That’s it?” Mike asks.
I let out a little chuckle. “That’s it. I hardly had time to settle in.”
“Well, if I find anything else, I’ll ship it with all your other boxes.”
I sit in my desk chair and swing the chair from side to side slowly. “What did I do to deserve such a good friend?” I ask Mike seriously.
“Good people attract good people, Lindsay. What can I say? We’re the best,” he smirks.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you too, Lindsay.” I push myself up out of my desk chair and Mike picks up my box. “When are you headed back to North Carolina?” he asks.
“Friday morning. I’m headed to Orange County tomorrow to see my friend, Jess.” Mike sets the box down at his desk and walks me to the front reception area of the TV station.
“Give me a hug,” he says, pulling me to him. He wraps his arms around me and gives me a good squeeze. “Let me know you’ve made it back, okay?”
“I will.” My throat tightens and I get a little teary saying goodbye to Mike. “Send my love to Javier,” I say, my voice cracking.
“Will do,” he says, releasing me from his hug. I pull the sunglasses from the top of my head down and put them on. I fake a smile and blow a kiss to Mike as I step out the front doors of the TV station. The walk back to my condo is quick; the office was only five or six blocks away, but I never walked it, I always drove. Today, I take my time returning to the condo, even though the late morning sun burns hot on my face. I notice the little shops and restaurants that I always drove right past, and a small boutique with trendy clothes and jewelry. I stop inside and purchase a necklace for Jess, a peace offering.