A light rap hits my door and I dart off the bed, opening it fully, expecting to see Kyle. Who I didn’t expect to see is him. “What are you doing here?”
Chapter 21
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
Indira Ghandi
Kyle
I waited a few minutes before going over to Reed and discussing where we should have our meet with Dmitri and Slash. We didn’t want to be alone, but at the same time we didn’t want to be where everyone was. The group of us needed privacy and Reed agreed with me.
I went over to Dmitri and Slash, telling them where to meet us. Slash knew the place, just on the other side of the property. He’d been there plenty of times before when we used to throw weekend bashes up here. We have a dock with a small pier and that’s where we’d discuss everything, man to man with no need for violence.
Reed said he wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize Bellamy and Butch’s big day. I can only hope that he meant every word of it.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Reed snaps out of nowhere.
I look over to the entrance of the dock and see who I least expect to be walking down to us. The lights are shit, but they do their job, giving us enough radiance to make everyone out clearly.
“I needed to talk to you both, and figured this was the best place to do it,” she states coolly, teetering from left to right.
“Dmitri and Slasher are supposed to be here.”
“They won’t be. This meeting was for me, not them”
Reed looks to me, and I throw my hands up. I’m sure that he expects me to know whatever is going on in Jenna’s mind, but for once I don’t. I haven’t even talked to her today until right now.
“Look, Jen. We really need to talk to Dmitri,” I tell her, hoping that for once, she doesn’t take offense and just gets it.
“No, you don’t. You want answers from him and I have all of the ones you’re looking for, plus more.”
“How are you supposed to help me understand why our Dad was killed?” Reed asks her.
“Because I’m the reason that Will Michaels is dead.” She crosses her arms, looking at Reed square in the eye as she says every word. “You two might want to sit down for this conversation.”
“We’re fine,” I tell Jenna, urging her to go on.
“Okay, well, I’ll start from the very beginning. My name isn’t Jenna Lawrence, and it never has been. That was simply an alias for me to use. My real name is Tegan Hill.”
My eyes go wide as I hear the name she states. I haven’t heard that name in a very long time, and honestly, I didn’t think that I’d ever hear it again. For once, I’m rendered completely speechless, unable to say a word. No matter how much I try, the questions that come straight to my mind, I just can’t speak.
“Will tortured my Dad, or the man who I thought was my biological father. Blood doesn’t matter. Beau Hill will be my Dad until the day I die, and DNA will never change that. I was the one who ended up firing the bullet that killed him, but it was at Will’s hand that I did so. I was forced to pull the trigger, or be killed and unless my Dad didn’t tell me to do it, I would’ve been the one who died that day. He forced a daughter to take the life of the most important person in hers – her father. That wasn’t before he raped me, though.”
Jenna goes quiet, or should I be calling her Tegan? I don’t know what to call her right now.
“I was pregnant, a kid on the streets. I disappeared and thought I’d done a good enough job at hiding, but I never did. Long story short, I have a son. He’s your little brother, and knows nothing of his sperm donor. I don’t plan on ever telling him. He doesn’t need to know the ugly truth behind any of it. We were both adopted, and he believes that our mom is his biological mother. It will stay that way until I die.”
“If we have a brother, then he needs to know about us,” Reed argues, keeping his tone light.
“No, he doesn’t. Reed, I will tell you that once. Don’t make me repeat myself, because it’s a battle that you will not win. I’ll do anything to protect him, and I mean anything.”
“Tell me why he’s dead,” Reed blurts it out unexpectedly, maintaining his cool. He hasn’t raised his voice once during our entire conversation and I’m breathing easy.
Jenna sure as hell isn’t though. She leans from right to left, taking in heavy breaths. This time she doesn’t look at Reed. I don’t know if she’s able to look at him, instead she redirects her gaze to me. “He told me that he was my biological father and Dmitri lost his shit. I had planned on killing him myself up until that point but I was too shocked to act. Finding out Will is my biological father wasn’t exactly…what I expected. As you know, Dmitri has a rough past when it comes to girls being used. It’s personal for him.” She shuts her eyes for a minute and then reopens them, now focusing on Reed. “Dmitri was trying to protect me in the only way that he could, by assuring that Will Michaels would never haunt me ever again.”
“Tell me about where his body was,” Reed growls.
“Reed, chill. I think she’s proven her—”
“No. I need to know that she’s telling the truth.”
“Why would she make any of this up?” I ask, flabbergasted.
“Well, she lied to us for years. What’s to say that she’s not lying about it now.” I understand his point, so I don’t say a thing. I wait for Jenna to answer him, hoping that the details fill the empty spots.
“We took his body a little ways out, and then burned him. He wasn’t all the way decomposed, but if anyone found him we were pretty sure that they wouldn’t be able to identify him. Was it his teeth?” She asks, looking to Reed who nods. “I should’ve been smarter than that.”
“The knife had Dmitri’s fingerprints on it.” Reed tells her, looking her up and down.
I don’t see him looking at her with hatred. No, this is different.
Moments of silence pass us by, until all we hear is the rush of water into the base of the lake.
“Why did you do it?”
“I…I wanted revenge,” she softly speaks, eyes darting between both of us.
“That’s not what I mean, Tegan.”
She looks at him, eyebrows furrowed together in utter confusion and I’m not far behind her.
“You didn’t have to lie. I would have been there for you…” Reed looks to me. “We both would have.”
She wraps her arms around herself even further and her lip starts to tremble.
Fuck, she’s about to blow. I dart over to her and yank her into my arms just in time, just as all the years of hurt come crashing out of her in an eruption of pain. Her legs give out on her and I go down to the base of the dock with her, holding her securely in my arms. She’s always been my best friend, and now I find out she’s my sister. This would be a dream come true if all the agony and misery weren’t with it.
There is nothing I can do to change the past, but I’ll make sure that we change the future.
Chapter 22
The more you’re hurt. The more you’ll change.
Quotes N’d Notes
Michelle
“What are you doing here?” I repeat, unsure of why he of all people is at my door.
“You wearin’ that sexy little number for him?” Max asks me, throwing his hand on my bedroom door and slamming it back into the wall.
I stand there in front of him, staring him down. “It doesn’t even matter because it’s none of your fucking business.”
He laughs, but not the… oh, that’s so funny type of laugh. It’s sinister, callous, telling me that he didn’t come here for a chat. Right in this second is when my heart starts pounding in my chest. I know Max, and I know what it really is that he’s capable of. The other night wasn’t the first time I’ve been afraid of him, but it was a warning to steer clear of him and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing since. Purposefully I have made it to where I’d never be in a room alone with him, there would always be somewhere around. He isn’t dumb,
Max is truly the exact opposite of dumb. A criminal mastermind to an extent, he’d know better than to put a hand on me when someone else could witness it. There were few things that Reed didn’t tolerate, and harming a woman is one of them.
He clenches his fist shut, staring at me like I’m the devil. That’s when I notice the way his eyes darken, and watch as the rage consumes him. He shoots his fist out at me, slamming it dead against my cheek bone. I’m knocked down onto the wooden floor with the force behind it, trying to process what the hell is going on right now. I turn my neck from side to side, feeling the way it cracks as I move it. God, that’s going to be a pain in the ass when I go to bed.
I peer up at him from the ground, breathing in deep and heavy. I have never been more upset in my entire life. I’m furious. No – I’m livid.
“What the hell has gotten into you?” I snap at Max, watching as he paces in front of me, looking like a raging bull.
He snickers and turns around heading towards the door. I think he’s walking out, except he puts his hand on the back of the door and slams it shut, locking it so I’m stuck in my room with him.
This better not be headed in the direction I think it’s going.
I gave him every part of myself, every single thing that I thought he wanted and he doesn’t just get to take it because he wants it now.
“You’re not the one who will be asking questions, Michelle.” Max hisses out, charging towards me. He kneels down on the ground just as I push myself up. There’s no way I’m going to let him scare me anymore, my mind is telling me to fight back while my heart is telling me to get the hell out of here. I take a quick second to myself to think about my options, and my heart wins.
I dart into the bathroom and lock the door shut, but it doesn’t help my breathing, or how hard my heart is beating in my chest. I walk back and forth in the small bathroom, looking for anything that could help me. My dumbass self left my cell phone on the nightstand so it’s not like I can call anyone. That’s when I see it, the window!
“Open the fucking door Michelle or I swear to God I will make this very painful for you!” Max roars as the door begins to shake violently.
I go over to the window and try to jump up. It’s one of those small windows that are wide but very narrow. Luckily, I think I can get myself through. After determining that it may take me a minute or two I grab my razor from off the counter of the sink and break it apart, pulling the blade free and tuck it in my teddy. It’s either going to stay put, or cut straight through the sexy as sin material. Something is better than nothing, though.
I go back over to the window and put myself up on the tub. It gives me enough height to unlatch the window and open it. Yes!
I place my left leg on the top of the toilet and use my right leg to help me jump until both my arms are in the windowsill. I can feel the wet grass and slowly begin to pull myself free, wiggling to my freedom. I twist and I turn until half my torso is out, and never have I been more thankful for this house being built into a hill. A six foot drop would not have been pretty.
I shake and I squirm, trying to give myself more momentum to getting my full body out.
“You bitch!” He yells, as my legs are being tugged back in through the bathroom.
I go flying, and drop with all my weight to the floor, but not before my head slams against the side of the toilet. An aching pain radiates through my head and I become dizzy, unable to see hardly anything happening in front of me.
I move my hand to my head, like somehow the comfort of shielding myself will make the pain get better, but it doesn’t.
“You think you could get away from me? What were you gonna do, Meech? Go get him to come and save the fucking day. Shit, and I thought you were smarter than that. Truth is, I felt bad for you after you two broke up. I stayed away from you for a bit, but all you seemed to wanna do was ride my cock until you could forget about him. I let you, you little slut.” It’s worse when he talks, the pain is unbearable, and I’m not talking about the headache that is Max.
“Shut up!” I grumble, weaving back and forth, looking up to face my demon. “Just shut…the…fuck…” I can’t even finish before he plummets his fist into me yet again.
“You don’t get to go back to Kyle after you’ve been with me, Michelle. How could you downgrade like that? How the fuck do you think that makes me look? You go from being my bitch to being Kyles? You just don’t know what’s good for you. He broke Dais’ apart and he’s just going to do the same thing to you, if not worse. Fuck.” He throws his hands up in the air and kicks at the bathroom door. “I have never been more thankful I took you to that fuckin’ clinic to get rid of it. I woulda killed you before I ever let you have our kid around Kyle Michaels, callin’ him Daddy and shit. I woulda slit your fuckin’ throat bitch!”
I close my eyes and try not to think about the words he just said. He didn’t take me to the clinic. He didn’t just take me there like he’s calling it so casually. He’s acting like it’s as normal as taking me to the grocery store, or the post office to pick up mail. Max tossed me in there and threatened every doctor that they needed to get rid of it, before it became a problem. I had no choice in the matter, my fate was decided for me. The worst part about it was I stayed with him after. I stayed with him until he decided to leave me and I will never be that girl ever again. The one who turns a blind eye to the horrible way she’s treated, while even more horrific things happen to her. No. I refuse to be that broken woman ever again.
The dizziness fades a bit and I run my hand along my breasts feeling for the razorblade, and as my fingertips graze over the cool metal, I smile before I rip it out and grab onto his leg. I jab the blade deep down into his skin, drawing it upward.
Blood squirts from him before he kicks me in the face and everything goes black.
***
I wake up in the bathroom, blood surrounding me. Moving my arms up, I see that I’m bleeding now too. I guess he thought it was fair, considering I gave him a nasty wound the size of my forearm up his leg.
I move to the left and the right, slipping on the blood beneath me and that’s when I realize that my teddy is shredded and I’m practically bare. I crawl over to the tub and turn the water on, blasting the shower on the hottest temperature it would give me.
I place my blood ridden hand on the side of the tub and pull myself in, shredded teddy and all. As the scolding hot water hits my cuts, I allow myself to scream, letting out the most agonizing cry I have ever made. I kneel at the bottom of the tub for mere moments before I start to burn between my legs, and then look to see the cuts he’s made on my lips. I brush my finger tips along them and when I bring my hand back up, I don’t just see blood.
There’s a sticky, white substance coating my fingers.
I scream louder than I ever have, in hopes that it will bring me the one person who will help me get through this mess.
Prince Charming.
Chapter 23
You’re beautiful because you know your own darkness, but still that doesn’t stop you from finding your own light.
R.M. Drake
Michelle
My cry for help was pathetic at best, no one came. I’m sure that while everyone else was still dancing on the beach, I was bleeding and crying in a scolding hot shower. I can’t bring myself to turn the water off. It’s the only thing that is giving me comfort in this moment, and has been for however long I’ve been here. The pads of my feet and tips of my fingers are starting to prune up, indicating that I’ve been here for far longer than I expected.
The burning has stopped, but the throbbing of my head is continuous. I can feel my cheek beginning to swell, but still I can’t force myself to move. I’m done. I’m at the lowest point that I have ever been in and I don’t know how I will ever get up.
I hold onto the side of the tub for dear life, clenching my palm around the cool surface and I fear if I let go I will just drown in my own misery.
“Meech!?” Jenna’s voice is concer
ned at best.
I must be hearing things, so I shake my head to rid my mind of the voices its bringing to life but when I look up, I see her standing in the doorway of the bathroom, looking at the blood on the floor and then at me.
This isn’t a dream.
This is simply my fucked up reality.
“Oh, my god. What the fuck happened?” She stares at the blood covered floor, scanning the area, looking over the entire bathroom and walks over quickly, bringing the water to an abrupt stop. Jenna grabs onto a towel off the rack and covers me in it.
“Max….he…” I can’t bring myself to say the word rape. I never wanted to be this girl, to be the victim that everyone else pitied. I’d never be able to live with myself if people were looking at me differently. No, I couldn’t live with myself if that was the case. “He attacked me.” I leave it plain and simple. I’m sure that Jenna could put the pieces together, not too long ago she was attacked in the woods. Ever since then we haven’t been able to go anywhere without an escort, especially off of club property. I guess Reed never took into consideration that it could be one of us who would be the attacker.
“Max did this?” Jenna is asking me a question, but I know that she doesn’t question what I’m telling her. She never cared too much for Max, and most people didn’t.
We simply put up with him because of his role in the club, but when he decided to go Nomad…things changed. I think that when he left, we all became a bit more happier, even if him leaving broke my heart. Now I realize that it wasn’t my heart that was breaking when he left, it was my co-dependence in the toxic relationship I was in. I didn’t know how to live without him because I was so reliant on his company and used to his ways.
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