Sage twisted around to lean against the door, then slid down to the floor. Her heart skipped in her chest at the simple question. “Not really.”
Rhys grunted, but didn’t say anything else. She didn’t dare move. Or breathe. Or think too hard about what the man was doing to her with his words alone. Standing with her. Not letting others barge through her door. Those were the words of someone who paid attention.
“Let me by,” Lindley said. He sounded like he stood a few feet away, probably at the foot of her porch steps. “I want to see Sage.”
“Fuck off,” Rhys grumbled. “She’s not receiving visitors.”
Sage nearly snorted. Receiving visitors? He made her sound like some old school socialite. Maybe she should put out a plate to hold the calling cards of her potential guests and make excuses about the vapors getting to her when she didn’t feel like entertaining.
Lindley huffed an irritated sigh. “She’ll make an exception for her brother. Move.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?” her brother demanded. “Who died and put you in charge of anything?”
Rhys didn’t answer with words. A harsh growl rumbled in his chest as he stomped across her porch.
Oh, fuck. She should have just gone out at the first request. Now it’d be her fault if they came to blows.
Sage whipped open the door. Her brother had his hands planted on his hips and glared murder at Rhys. Rhys met the look with one of his own that only softened when he turned slightly to take her in. If stone could soften, anyways.
Strangely, Kyla grinned like a madwoman and had her hands clasped under her chin.
“It’s fine,” Sage said before anyone jumped in. “What’s going on, Lin?”
He kept his eyes locked on Rhys for a moment longer, then slid his attention to her. “Like I told him,” her brother grimaced, “I wanted to check on you. You good?”
She flicked another look to Rhys before returning to Lindley. “I’m good. You can come in.”
With that, Rhys stepped aside and let her brother pass.
“Going somewhere?” Lindley asked as soon as the door closed behind him.
On the other side, she heard Kyla cheerfully say, “Come on, Rhys. You can walk me home.”
“So?” Lindley asked again.
Sage started, then realized a shirt still hung from her hand. No use stuffing it behind her back and pretending it didn’t exist. “Laundry,” she lied.
“Laundry,” her brother repeated, eyebrows climbing to his hairline. “Well, as long as it’s that, and not some damn fool idea like sneaking away in the night.”
“No,” she said. She shot a glance toward the door. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good. Because then Kyla would have to track you down, which would mean I’d be dragged into the whole mess. Then Trent and the others would get involved, and you know how much they complain. Could be the simplest, nicest thing in the whole damn world, and they’d mouth off over needing to take a big step across a puddle in the parking lot.”
Sage flashed a tiny smile. They’d absolutely moan about the adding extra inches to their stride, but they’d do it, plus whatever was necessary on the other side because they were good people at heart.
Good people didn’t deserve consequences breathing down their necks for harboring her.
“I don’t know what to do, Lin.” She wrapped her arms around her middle, but the hold didn’t contain any of the hopelessness that threatened to rip her apart. “They aren’t going to stop, are they? Sometimes it feels like I’m taking two steps forward for every ten steps knocked back.”
She’d sped away with Lilah for an impromptu road trip, and then froze when they were threatened, leaving the still-mostly human to fight for them both. If Seth hadn’t barreled in with the rescue, she doubted either of them would have survived.
She’d let herself start to believe she could be as fierce as Rhys’s lioness carving, but the moment they faced real opposition, she’d fallen apart. Not to mention her little freak out over his kiss!
But most importantly, she tried to run as soon as her father appeared.
“They will stop,” Lindley said confidently. “You will keep taking those steps. They’ll switch eventually. Ten forward, two back. I swear it.”
“I wish I had your faith. I’m scared they’ll force me back.” She chewed on her lip and put the fears into words he’d understand. “I’m scared of ending up like Mom.”
Sadness filled his scent, so intense that she forced herself to look at him. He stared right back at her, and she realized they’d never really talked about that night. They’d both lived through the fallout and eight months of bullshit, but the night that tore their family apart had only been touched on in the barest of details.
She’d called him when her father finally let the mask fall and stopped pretending Lindley was anything but a scapegoat for their mother’s murder. The first, hesitant conversation they’d had boiled down to a yes or no session. The pain that still rippled through them never made it to air.
Until now.
Lindley crossed the distance between them and pulled her into a tight hug. She stiffened, but he didn’t let her pull away.
“We’re not doomed to repeat their mistakes. We’re free, Sage. Roland raised me to be alpha one day, and I’m here playing second. This is where I belong, not at the head of a rotten pride. You? You’re the motherfucking Levine princess. No one can order you around. I think it’s high time that you get to decide what you want.”
Sage frowned. The words were close to Hailey’s the night those tracks appeared and kick-started a new round of worry. She needed something for herself. Some small sliver of life that she could call her own.
They were similar to Rhys’s, too, telling her she should take the respect she was owed and force Jasper and her father to their knees.
Lindley stepped away, clearing his throat. “There isn’t a way to make up for the years lost. I’ve been trying, even when I know I can’t. I just want the best for you. So don’t be stupid, stupid.”
Sage huffed a laugh at the love built into an insult from their childhood. “Maybe I’m just living up to your example,” she teased.
Her brother flashed a smile, then jerked his chin toward the door. “I better get out there before Trent tears me a new one. We have patrols set up to run close to the dens. I’ll be out there if you need anything.”
She stared at the door after he closed it behind him.
What did she want?
A single sending flashed from her inner cat. Clear as day, bright as his white fur, there was no question as to what her other half meant.
She could still feel his lips pressed against hers.
Mate.
She wanted him. Skies above, her knees shook with the admission, but she couldn’t deny it any longer.
She wanted Rhys.
But under that desire was a cold, hard fact. She was damaged. Broken. He said she was on fire, but she barely felt an ember burning in her middle. Something had to change before she could let herself get close to anyone, let alone the man her lioness wanted for life.
Sage lightly touched the raised scar on her skin. She’d let him keep her locked away for eight months longer than necessary. No more. No. More.
She had good people in her life. A pride of assholes, sure, but they were her assholes. And as much shit as they gave each other, they saved their truly savage nature for those who tried to fuck with their loved ones.
Sage ran her fingers over the lioness carving. Rhys saw her as a little badass. She wanted to feel the confidence and power etched into the figurine. Hell, she wanted to feel anything but the terror of being back under Jasper’s thumb.
Something dragged her attention down the hall to the room she tried to avoid. She took a cautious step forward. Her lioness balked and raged inside her, but another step followed. A third. Her hand shook when she wrapped her fingers around the knob and pushed the door open.
It was just a roo
m. No more, no less. Four walls, a bed she’d never slept in, a dresser she’d never filled. She’d given Jasper too much power to let him chase her from the space.
Still, she recoiled at the thought of caging herself inside. Even with the door wide open, the back of her neck prickled with a chill. So easy for it to slam shut and lock her in with the barred window her only glimpse into the outside world and other collared females her only company.
Sage grimaced and marched straight for the bed. She needed something of her own, and the first step was banishing her fears. Barred windows and silver collars were a thing of the past. Her happiness existed in the here and now.
The mattress flipped easily to its side, and she left it propped against the wall while she shoved the box spring out the door and down the hall. More rearranging tightly combined her living and dining spaces, but made room for a bed in the corner.
Excitement bubbled as she flung open her door and marched across the yard. The activity made her hesitate, not wanting to disturb the couple, but the shadow moving across the window filled her with resolve and she rapped on the door.
Murmurs inside reached her ears before the light shuffle of footsteps. She beamed a huge smile and wild eyes at Hailey.
“Do you need all that cardboard?” she asked in a rush, pointing to the broken down boxes in the bed of Trent’s truck. Baby things, from what she’d overheard earlier. The first of many shipments and shopping trips to deck out their nursery.
The alpha’s mate blinked in confusion, then shook her head. “It’s all yours.”
She turned before Hailey lobbed any other questions at her. “Thank you!” she called over her shoulder, wrestling her arms around the first haul.
Two more trips were needed to clear the truck bed, and an additional pounding on Lindley’s door for a roll of tape. Then she got to work flattening out the individual pieces and figuring out the best way to fit them together.
In the end, cardboard covered half the floor.
Private smile hitching up the corners of her mouth, she planted her hands on her hips and studied her handiwork. Not enough room for anything big or bold, but enough space to work through the basics. A test step and jump gave her a floor that wouldn’t catch her toes and offered just enough spring to get by until she figured out a more permanent solution.
Reclaiming the space was a small step forward, but no journeys worth taking finished so quickly. There was still a daunting mountain to climb to get her shit together, but she’d started clawing her way to the top with the changes to the bedroom.
No, she corrected. Not the bedroom. Her dance studio.
Chapter 16
Sage wrapped her arms around her middle and stomped over the landscape. Exhaustion shot up her sore feet and legs with every step, but she didn’t turn back home. Her mind was still too active and on fire to find sleep in the bed she’d relocated to her living room.
She’d stretched and practiced for a full two hours that night, but nothing had calmed her head. Even when she slipped out of her homemade studio, she’d still felt as restless and trapped as when she entered.
What had Rhys told her? Maybe the cat made more sense than she was willing to admit?
She’d worn out her human half. Now she had to give a little something to her shifter side. She’d hoped getting out under the wide open would ease some of the caged feeling, but even the great expanse of sky and stars overhead hadn’t lessened her discomfort.
They were still trapped, even if the boundaries of the cage extended to the edge of the Crowley territory.
No. She wouldn’t let the hopeless feelings whisk her away. She’d spent eight long months stuck in that pit of despair. She still had a ways to go before she reached the top, but every inch upward was another ton of weight left behind.
In the week since her father’s demand of her return, she’d spent a good number of hours in her new studio. She’d started easy and slow, working her way through the lessons she used to give to children and beginners. She was years out of practice and needed to rebuild the foundations, but the burn in her thighs was evidence of progress.
Progress, too, was made with the others. She couldn’t stay fluttering on the outside forever. She needed to feel eyes on her, say more than a handful of words, and actually live.
Kyla still barged through her door without waiting for an answer, but she was taking steps. Direct confrontation wasn’t in the cards yet, but she was grabbing hold of that irritation instead of letting it slip through her fingers.
She was grabbing hold of fur a little more, too.
Her lioness slunk through her head, tip of her tail twitching. The animal still wasn’t ready to make the jump into the real world, but she was more present. She didn’t flip between frightened and angry as much, either. Maybe, just maybe, they could be one and the same again.
Sage missed her.
Something caught her foot and she pitched forward, barely catching herself. She stumbled to a stop and shook her head clear. Clothes. Not the edge of a viper pit or a simple root poking up from the ground. She’d tripped on a pile of clothes.
“Shit,” she whispered. Sage breathed deep and scanned the darkness. No sounds reached her ears and only one scent filled her nose.
Strangely intoxicating, that scent. Baked earth like all the lions she knew, but there was a sweet spiciness underneath. Like a hot mocha with cayenne pepper sprinkled over top. Her mouth watered every time she dragged those notes deep into her lungs, and the hard edge of her tangled thoughts smoothed down to let her breathe freely.
Without thinking, she knelt and grabbed the shirt folded neatly on top. Eyes sliding closed, she pressed the soft cotton to her nose and breathed him in.
Savage lion. Rabid beast. Dead eyes, bloody claws, scarred hide. Rhys wasn’t weak. He wasn’t afraid to swipe a paw against anything that bothered him. He had a strength she envied.
Something scratched at the back of her brain and she jerked upright. Footsteps sounded in the darkness, and they strode right for her.
Swallowing down her squeal, Sage dropped the shirt on the pile of clothes and darted behind a cluster of trees. She slammed her hands over her mouth and nose to quiet her ragged breath right before Rhys mounted the hill.
She didn’t know what she expected. Him calling out to her, maybe. Simply grabbing his things in his teeth and moving on was up there, too. He wasn’t dumb; he had to know she’d been there. Recently, to boot. Her scent would still be in the air, on his clothes, and in a clear trail to her hiding place.
The night stayed utterly still long enough for her heart to start racing. What the hell was he waiting for? Her to move first and admit she’d been sniffing his things like a freak? Not fuckin’ likely.
She should go. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep on walking. She was as much a Crowley as Rhys. They both had rights to nighttime strolls through the territory. Besides, keeping him at her back was the polite and decent thing to do.
Sage froze when she heard the first crack of bone. A low swirl of energy rushed right for her, raising the hair on the back of her neck. Unless he had special powers and left piles of clothes around to confuse anyone keeping tabs on him, he stood absolutely naked only a few yards away.
She shouldn’t look. She knew she shouldn’t. It was improper. Indecent. More than a little pervy. Lindley would blow a gasket if he knew someone had spied on her.
Feeling like she’d been body snatched, Sage twisted around the trunk.
Rhys stood in all his naked glory. Even the sky seemed to agree to the show as the clouds parted and lit him up in the weak rays of moonlight.
Her lioness rammed forward with all the strength the beast had hidden away. The male in front of them was worthy of her notice.
Sendings flashed back to their trip to Defiant Dog. The taste of him on her tongue, her feel of him crowding her against his truck… Her blood simmered in her veins as she dragged her eyes up from the ground.
The man was
packed with power from his chiseled calves to his thick thighs, and what swung between.
Sage bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from panting. She wasn’t a virgin. She’d come into contact with a few dicks in her day. His was just better than most. Long and thick, he didn’t have anything to worry about first impressions. Her heart beat faster in her chest as she imagined him taking himself in hand and slowly pumping up and down.
Cheeks flushing, she tore her eyes away and continued her perusal. Up from his narrow waist, over the slabs of muscle that made up his stomach and chest. His jaw was clenched tight under the short beard he wore, and his eyes were nearly obscured by the mop of messy hair that sometimes fell over his forehead. Those she didn’t need to see. They’d followed her for months, always jerking away when she glanced toward him. Dark, deep blue in his human form. Pure silver in his lion.
He bent slowly to the pile of clothes and paused with his shirt in his hands. Eyes going to where she stayed hidden, he brought the fabric to his nose and took a deep inhale.
Sage’s chest heaved with quick breaths, but he still didn’t call out to her and she couldn’t make her voice work. There was something so wrong and dirty about him knowing she watched and not doing a damn thing to stop it.
Scratch that. He dropped the shirt to the ground and straightened with his jeans in hand. His arms bulged as he shook them out, then he folded at the waist and shoved one leg through. With his second foot through, he dragged the denim slowly up his thighs, eyes still locked on her hiding spot.
Commando. That shouldn’t surprise her. Rhys’s picture was shown next to the definition of rugged. He wouldn’t be contained by some measly scrap of cloth over his wildly impressive gifts.
Her nipples pebbled under her shirt and she bit her lip to hold back a strangled gasp. Her stomach twisted and churned, her body flushing with heat. She could almost feel the scratch of his beard over her tender skin and the quick bite of pain when he added teeth to the mix.
He straightened, throwing his arms wide and rolling his shoulders. His back stretched and she got a look at the scars crisscrossing his skin. Some looked like claw marks, but others were more like cracks from a whip. That they’d stayed on his skin instead of healing properly were a curiosity and also made her heart ache. She hadn’t been allowed to shift to heal. Maybe he’d been denied that access to his own power, too.
Savage Exile: Lion Hearts Book Five Page 10