Question was, could she live with the message that he got? Again a sigh escaped her. And thus was the theme of her day. Thoughts going back and forth between her mind and heart on what to do about this growing preoccupation with Mr. McPherson.
Chapter 17
Making some final adjustments to the layout, he was satisfied for the night. It was coming close to the time to meet Sylvia online. He'd checked before he started working to see if she were online. No show. It was on his mind for most of the day, and now night. He just hoped that she was in an amenable mood. He hadn’t received a reply to his email that he sent her, so he could only wonder at what he would have to deal with once the chat began...if it began. He would sign on again at 9pm and if she wasn’t there, then the heck with it, he would call her. Having the thought cross his mind, hewish he had done so last night. Oh well, if she wasn’t there tonight, that’s what he would do.
“Daddy?”
Shawn looked up from his draft table to the door where his daughter stood.
“Yes, pum'kin?"
“Can you take me home?”
Shawn sighed. “I could, but I don’t want to. I want you here with me. I want to spend this time with you. Please?” He sat watching her as she stood in the doorway, with her head laying against it. Her arms crossed before her. She was chewing on her bottom lip. He could see that she’d been crying. Standing, he pushed his seat away from the table, turning it he leaned back against it, then patted his lap. “Come here.” She rushed right into his waiting arms. He squeezed her close to his chest. One arm wrapped tightly around her, the other with his hand in her hair as he inhaled the young clean scent of her. “I…love…you,” he squeezed out passionately, tightening the embrace. “And I’m sorry this arrangement is so hard for you. I know it is. I know it is.And now that I’m settled into my new home, I want you to come and spend time with me there. During the summer. Spring breaks. Some holidays,” he informed her in a low timbre. His voice gentle and soothing. He stopped, still holding onto her as she sat with her face buried into his chest. Loving the smell of her father. Feeling safe, protected and secure in his arms.
“Please, pum'kin, don’t ever deny me your presence. I need it. I can’t live without you. I love you too much to live with the thought that you don’t want me anymore, or that you don’t want to be with me. Because I need to have you every chance I get. That’s why you’re here now, and I plan to make it more often than this. Please…say that you’ll try for me. To accept things as they are. Because no matter what happens between your mother and I, you will always be my daughter. I will always be proud of you, remembering the day you were born and placed into my hands. Please, don’t deny me time with you. I could never undo you…the one right thing in my life that I’ve done. Not ever.”
Angela looked up at her father. She could never deny him anything. She needed him, just as he expressed his need for her. “I love you, daddy.” She squeezed him tightly to her. Shawn sighed. “An’ I love you. Ready for bed yet?”
“Can I stay up and watch TV? There’s no school tomorrow.”
“Sure, pum'kin, sure you can. But we have a busy day tomorrow.” She smiled up at him. “I know. I’ll be fine. Oh, I can’t wait to go scuba diving. It’s going to be so much fun!”
Shawn smiled. “Yes, it is. Okay…off to watch TV. I’m going online for a bit. Do some surfing and a little chatting.”
“Oh…okay…with who?” she asked, leaning back from him, disengaging the hug.
Shawn hesitated, a bit nervous to tell the truth, but didn’t feel it right to lie. “I don’t know if you’re going to like the answer, and I don’t want to lie to you,” he said.
She stood gazing at him a moment, then asked, “Tia was right, with a woman!?”
He nodded. “Yes, with a woman.” She took a moment to digest that, then asked, “Is she why you won’t try to get back with mom?”
Shawn sighed. “Part of it. But even if there was no her, I still wouldn’t,” he returned honestly. She twisted her mouth, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Oh.” She mouthed, quietly thinking. “Where’d you meet her? Internet dating service or something?”
Shawn threw his head back, barking out in laughter. Shaking his head, he looked down at her. “No, pum'kin. She lives across the road from me. From where I now live.Annnd, I like her. I like her a lot. She’s a nice lady.”
“Is she pretty?”
“Very.”
“Does she like you?”
“Yes, she does, but she’s playing hard to get right now.”
“So, it’s serious then?”
“It could get serious.”
“Would I like her?”
“I think so. She’s different though. Different from what you’d expect,” he warned.
She tilted her head inquisitively. “What? She black or something?” Just kidding around, she grinned up at her father, whose eyes widened in surprise.
“Ummm, yes…she is,” he confirmed.
Her eyes got huge then. “Noooo way,” she denied.
He nodded. “Way.”
“She’s black? Like African-American black?”
“Yep…African-American black.”
“Wow,” she breathed, stunned. “How’d you do that?”
Shawn chuckled. “Haven’t done it yet, pum'kin, but I’m trying to do it. She’s a tough one, though. So…whataya think?” he asked nervously.
She sighed, giving it some thought, then shrugged. “I guess it’s okay. I mean…why not? Everybody’s doing it,” she offered.
“Oh, yeah, everybody as in who?”
“Well, lot’s of people, I guess. There’s this girl in school, Jessica Winters, she’s got a big big crush on this black boy. I think he likes her, too.”
“So, then, is that alright with you?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Even for your dad?”
“Well, yeah, long as she’s nice and everything. She’s not like the ones on Jerry Springer, is she?” she asked nervously, making a face.
Again, Shawn threw his head back in laughter, “Oh, pum'kin, heavens no! Give your dad some credit! No way! Nothing like. Sylvia Payne is a lady. A little snooty, maybe, but that’s just with me,” he finished, smiling in thought of her.
Angela grinned, then curiously asked, “So, what’s she look like?"
“Hmmm? Let me think? Well, you remember the movie with Eddie Murphy, Coming to America?”
“Yeah."
“Remember the Princess he was suppose to marry, who was jumping up and down on one foot because he asked her to, to test her out?”
“Yeah.”
“Kinda like her. Maybe prettier, more or less. It’s hard to say. But she’s a close comparison.”
“Ohhhh, okay. Wow, she was pretty.”
“Well, so is Sylvia. Very pretty. Beautiful in fact. Breathtaking."
Angela gave a closed smile. “Well, I’m gonna go watch TV,” she informed her father. Shawn caressed the back of her head. “Okay. I’m gonna go online, see if I can catch me one heck of an exotic fish.” He flexed his brows charmingly. Angela stopped in the doorway, turning and sighed saying, “Well, good luck…I guess.” Then she was gone.
* * *
10:50pm…ten more minutes. Sylvia noticed this pacing in circles from her living room to the kitchen. Now nibbling on her last nail, her thumbnail, after having bitten all the others off, spitting them distractedly to the floor. If she were to admit it to herself, she’d already lost the battle. That being a fact when she went to turn off her computer, deciding to leave it on "just to see if he comes on" and then walking away, mumbling, "Just to see if he actually invites me to chat." Her stomach was tumbling in knots as one arm lay across it, with her nibbling her thumbnail to the nub. Now twisting it sideways to attack her cuticle. 10:55pm. “I can do this. Just wait it out. That’s all. If I wait it out, then I can repel any advance he springs on me. I just have to stand strong for fifteen minutes, then he’ll give up and that wil
l be that,” she coached herself. “Ow!” she cried out after biting and pulling on her cuticle to the quick, now it was sore and bleeding. She sucked on her thumb, tasting the salty, coppery taste of her blood. She walked off to the bathroom to put something on it and then a band-aid. “That will take at least five minutes or more. Yeah, I’ll bathe and disinfect it good.” She decided, walking into the bathroom, unable to avoid looking up at her decorative bath clock. 10:57pm. “I can do this. I can do this.” No sooner had she said so, that she heard it all the way in her bathroom; the distinctive knocking of someone signing on to Yahoo.
Immediately she realized that it would be someone on her list. Her heart started hammering. She swallowed deep, not realizing she was holding her breath, listening intently. Upon noticing her behavior, she shook her head and turned on the faucet. The rush of the water pressure from the spout was loud. She lessoned the pressure, needing to hear the distinctive chiming message alert. As soon as the thought registered, the chiming message came through to her.
She threw her body around against the bathroom sink and looked up at the clock. 11:00pm. Her stomach tightened. “Just wait it out, Sylvia…just wait it out.” Another chime sounded. Another line written in the message frame. “Come on, Sylvia…don’t give in. Just wait it out.”
Then came a loud and clear buzz…ding-dong! He was signaling her. Buzzing her from the friends list. She could hear her pulse pump in her eardrums…one minute later…ding-dong! She swallowed. “Oh, nooooo! Noooo.” But then she did it, she took off running from the bathroom. A flash rushing around the end of her bed…sprinting out the door through the dining room, down the hall and barely missing the door frame, to snatch her computer chair back and dropping into it. There it was…the Yahoo chatbox…and there plain to see…mcharley60. She gulped, hands on keyboard, she replied…
The chat…
mcharley60: You there, Sylvia?
mcharley60: Sylvia? Come on, I know you’re there.
Buzz
Buzz
Quiet_Storm: Oh...hi, that startled me. I was in the bathroom.
mcharley60: Oh, I wasn’t sure if you would be here. I’m sorry I missed you last night.
Quiet_Storm: I know, I got your email.
mcharley60: Oh, I see. Thanks for the reply!
Quiet_Storm: I figured we would chat tonight, that would be soon enough.
mcharley60: So, you did get mad.
Quiet_Storm: For what?
mcharley60: 'Bout last night.
Quiet_Storm: Ooooh...lol...
Quiet_Storm: Well
Quiet_Storm: I have a confession to make.
mcharley60: Confession?
Quiet_Storm: Yes...ummm, truth is...I wasn't here either, last night.
mcharley60: What?
Quiet_Storm: At 8:30 or 10:30pm…whatever time.
Quiet_Storm: I was out.
mcharley60: You were?
mcharley60: Where?
Quiet_Storm: Doesn’t matter where…I just…I, umm…well, the time got away from me.
mcharley60: You promised!
Quiet_Storm: Well, obviously it doesn't matter, because you weren't here, either.
Quiet_Storm: So, no big deal.
mcharley60: No big deal, hm? Well…I…I guess you got me there.
Quiet_Storm: Don't worry about it. I understand.
Quiet_Storm: You were with your daughter.
mcharley60: Yes, and time kinda got running away and...well, I’ve explained, haven’t I?
Quiet_Storm: Yes, I know how that is.
Quiet_Storm: So, how's the weather there?
mcharley60: Weather’s nice…but that’s beside the point…you still haven’t said where you were!
Quiet_Storm: LOL…excuse me? Umm, the fact that I wasn’t here, is explanation enough. So, how'd your meeting go?
mcharley60: To hell with the meeting!
mcharley60: So, you knew that I would be here to chat with you, and you found something else more important to do?
mcharley60: Is that what you’re saying?
Quiet_Storm: LOL…hellooo…you weren’t here either, remember?
mcharley60: Sylvia Payne...this is not a game for me. So don’t play with me! I’m hundreds of miles away from there, and you obviously decided to use that time to go and have such a good time, that you weren’t concerned with being there for me…thanks! Tells me a lot about how you feel about me. Thanks a lot!
Sylvia gasped, surprised by the message he wrote. “Oh, my goodness, he is tripping…” She grinned, then giggled out loud.
Quiet_Storm: ROFLBO - oh my goodness, will you calm down. I was at your house…okay? Across the road!
mcharley60: My house?
Quiet_Storm: Yes, your house. Unpacking boxes. You did ask me to do that, if you remember?
mcharley60: Oh, I see. But…
Quiet_Storm: Annnd, I was tired from going to bed so late and getting up early to take you to the airport. I laid on…*sigh* your bed…just to take a small nap…and when I woke up…it was after eleven.
Shawn had a big fat grin on his face as he sat back in his chair to assimilate that bit of information. “Oh, yeah! She wants me…she wants me, alright,” he said out loud.
mcharley60: Hmm…fell asleep in my bed, you say? Pity, just my luck that I’d be thousands of miles away…what luck.
Quiet_Storm: I guarantee you, if you hadn’t been…I wouldn’t have been.
mcharley60: Yeah…sure *winks*, anything you say, lady.
Quiet_Storm: Excuse me, Shawn, you can think anything you like! I was burning time, and doing you a favor.
mcharley60: Yeah, well…maybe so, maybe so. But the fact is, you want me, Sylvia. You want me, just as much as I want you. Maybe even more!
Quiet_Storm: LOL…pul-lease! Man, you are much too stuck on yourself.
mcharley60: Ah…could be. But I remember…
Quiet_Storm: Remember what?
mcharley60: The way you felt in my arms.
Quiet_Storm: That? I forgot that already!
mcharley60: Well, I haven’t. Nor the moans and groans from you when I had you against the door. Your ass cupped in my hand…the taste of you.
Quiet_Storm: Excuse me, but I don’t want to discuss that.
mcharler60: I see…been trying to forget the taste of my tongue in your mouth all day, hmm? I still have the taste of you in mine…sweet…sweet, creamy, delicious chocolate…
Sylvia was gasping, stunned. Her breathing heightened because she did remember. Had been trying to forget through the night, and the day. How could it be that even so far away, he could still touch her and make her tingle? Gulping and drawing a breath, she replied…
Quiet_Storm: If this is all you wish to chat about, then I’m gonna go!
mcharley60: Okay, okay…I’m sorry…don’t go.
mcharley60: So, did you get a lot done at my house?
Sylvia sighed in relief.
Quiet_Storm: I got all the boxes in that room unpacked. And everything put where I thought you’d want it.
mcharley60: Wow, thanks. I really appreciate it. I owe you. When you pick me up at the airport, how about you let me take you out to dinner?
Quiet_Storm: We’ll see...
Shaking his head, Shawn chuckled out loud.
mcharley60: Hardcore to the end, aren’t you, lady? You’re going to make me work my ass off to get you, aren’t you?
Quiet_Storm: Excuse me, I don’t remember inviting, you to “get me”. Seems to me, working your ass off is a condition you’ve inflicted upon yourself, no prompting from me!
She was starting to enjoy this, a ready grin lingering on her face.
mcharley60: Touché and true…but, I know what I want. And you know what I want. And I aim to get it. Even if it means working my ass off. No holds barred… no holds barred…you’ve been warned!
His words sucked the air right out of her, leaving her dizzy. Gulping, shaken and full of desire for him. Not that she would admit it to him.
Quiet_Storm: I think we should, perhaps, change the subject
mcharley60: Yes, I agree, we should let you first digest that. Before I take you to the next level.
Quiet_Storm: Listen here, Shawn Everett McPherson—there is no next level!
mcharley60: Sure there is, and the moment you stop fighting me and the way you really feel, I’ll move you up to it.
Quiet_Storm: I’m not fighting anything!
mcharley60: Liar!
Quiet_Storm: Excuse me, I don’t have to lie!
mcharley60: Of course you do. That’s the only thing that helps you continue this fight against me. Lying to yourself. But you know the truth. And so do I.
Quiet_Storm: Well, obviously, you’re in the mood for ego blowing…and since that’s the case, your time would be better spent impressing a woman who is…
mcharley60: You are such big talk. But if I were there right now, I’d have you wrapped so tightly in my arms, we’d probably be in bed right now.
Quiet_Storm: That’s it—goodnight!
mcharley60: Wait, wait, wait! Okay, okay, okay! I won’t say another word…I promise. I’ll change the subject, okay?
Sylvia killed two birds with one stone. First bird, she waited out the reply to get control of her rioting senses. She was shaking with wanting him, and was glad for the cover of chatting from a distance. Were he present, he would see right through her to her need.
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