Shawn had money in the bank, close to a half a mil. Two hundred thousand in cash from what Merriam Styles left him, which had been growing interest over the years that he would not touch and hadn't needed to. Then there was close to three hundred and fifty thousand from the home he'd sold that he and Deidre had bought and moved into. In their parting, she took all of the houses content, which was valued in total to half a million, because of her extravagant taste, feeling it only fair that he should get the money from the house since Merriam had paid for half of it as a gift to them before she'd been found dead. As his mother and father had done, they would as well, leave two hundred and fifty thousand for their children's future. That's what he wanted, she admired and respected that in him. So the rest would be used to toward the bed and breakfast, and the home they were having built, setting a budget of two hundred thousand and no more for their home. Sylvia felt uneasy about that, because by the time taxes were paid and when she thought about what it would take to keep their home running, and invest and supply the bed and breakfast, she felt shaky. They had a baby on the way, Angela was with them now, and she wasn't working. She knew how much money just a years worth of living could eat up it they weren't careful. Shawn assured her that what he made on contract for the James' publishing company would easily cover their expenses - because of her, he'd signed up with them, so income would be steady.
She just wanted to get beyond their marriage ceremony. Shawn wanted them to go on a honeymoon, she'd said no way. They would worry about a vacation after the bed and breakfast was done and the house was built, and then all was taken care of, after that... if there was money left for a vacation or honeymoon later... then they could take one. Shawn could already see, she was a bit tight about money. She didn't care what he thought, he had two credit cards to pay on, and she had two herself, one of them already maxed. His credit cards scared her because of the credit limit on them, one of them was a platinum with up to sixty-five thousand dollars in credit. The numbers terrified her. She had good credit and she was not about to let anything destroy it. She'd seen too many friends go nuts because they thought they had excess... and then the next thing they knew, they were over their heads in debt. She and Armundo had been in debt like that as well at one time, because he handled the money and refused to relinquish the handling of it to her. Then he'd some how gotten a loan and they paid off everything. Not long after that... he had his accident. His life insurance had set her up the rest of the way to be financially stable. Even so, she was careful. After all of this was done, they were going on a strict budget...period. The last thing that she wanted was to have to work for someone else again. Her dream was to be a published author and although it was on the back burner again... temporarily, she had every intention of fulfilling that by completing a novel and getting it published. To have Shawn come into her life as well, who was a book cover artist, working for Pen-tab publishing, the James' was just perfect, now she only needed to write that best seller.
"So you like Michael Jackson hm?"
"My dad... LOVES Michael Jackson! There's this one song, if my dad hears it, he'll start dancing to it."
"Really? What song is that?" Sylvia asked, unable to envision Shawn dancing to fast songs. He moved really well to slow songs, leading with soft music, but she hadn't imagined him dancing to fast music.
"Oh - oh - oh..." Angela was tapping her head trying to remember the name of it. "I can't remember it...but its from when he was with the Jackson Five, because they all sing in it I think."
"So its a fast song?"
"Yeah...and he'll dance if he hears it."
"Oh my goodness, we have to find that song, I gotta see him dance, especially at our reception."
"He has it Sylvia... you just have to look through all of his albums, its on them, he keeps saying he's going to put them to CD but he hasn't yet. I don't think so."
"Hmmm, well, when we get back home, we'll go over and find it. So tell me, what kind of music do you like?"
"Hip hop, rap - I think I wanna sing it one day." She informed Sylvia smiling.
"Oh do you? So, can you sing?" She asked enjoying the time they shared together. Angela was easy company, bright and loving, always eager to help her out. Enjoying a hug here and there through the day.
"Yeah... a little I think." She confessed cautiously.
"Let me hear something?" Sylvia encouraged as they drove.
"Nooo I can't." She was too embarrassed and unsure.
"Well if you can't sing in front of me, how will you sing for other people?"
Angela smiled and shrugged. "Can you sing Sylvia?"
"A little bit."
"You sing something then."
"You may not enjoy what I like to sing." Sylvia returned.
"I don't care...sing something anyway." Angela coaxed.
"Okay... I'll sing you my daughters favorite song. Mundo liked me to sing it to him as well, he just won't admit it."
"Okay...sing." Angela eagerly pushed.
Sylvia looked ahead and started smooth and sweet her favorite song, "Summertime." Angela was taken so by surprise that her mouth opened to a silent wow. As she sat listening, she realized that Sylvia couldn't sing just a little...Sylvia could sing beautifully. Her voice filled the car and made her catch her breath as each note was reached and executed to perfection, when she finished a few moments later and looked at Angela, she was sitting wide eyed and amazed.
"Please teach me to sing that good too Sylvia...please!?"
Sylvia laughed, "You want to sing hip hop... that's a bit different."
"I like that song Sylvia, sing it again... please."
Just as Sylvia was about to treat her again, her cell phone rang. "Answer that sweety, I'm driving."
Angela went into Sylvia's purse, grabbed the phone and pressed the talk button, "Hello? This is Sylvia's phone." She answered like a little secretary, and then turned and looked at Sylvia with wide smiling eyes, as someone talked to her through the phone.
"Hi! Is this Angela?" Crystal asked.
"Yes... hi."
"Are you and my mom on your way to La Crosse?" Crystal asked her.
"Yes, we're going shopping for me a dress to wear to the wedding." She told her.
Sylvia smiled watching her, she was glowing from talking to Crystal.
"Cool! That means I get to meet you today! I need my mom to do me a favor...can you pass her the phone?"
"Oh good, I would love to meet you today...okay... here she is." Angela announced, passing Sylvia the phone. Sylvia could see her eyes light up with excitement.
"What'ah'yah need now?" Sylvia asked as soon as she put the phone to her ear.
Crystal started laughing, "Now mama what kind of way is that to answer a phone?! How you know I need something, maybe I just wanna say hello and I love you." Crystal laughed.
"Em hm, and I love you too... now what you want?" Sylvia asked matter of fact.
"Okay... this is the deal, our car's engine is gone, threw a rod. Its gonna cost us five hundred eighty-nine to fix it, plus labor. We kind of got it, almost all of it, but we need two hundred more."
Sylvia sighed, yep... they were definitely getting on a budget.
"Yeah ah'right, I'm coming that way anyway."
"I know, and that's the next thing."
"What's the next thing?" Sylvia asked.
"See, our car is going to be in the shop for a week or more, so we need a car to drive, Shawn already said we could use yours and you can drive his SUV."
"When he say that?!" Sylvia snapped.
"Just a few minutes ago when I called to talk to you. He said you were coming to La Crosse to buy things for the wedding. I told him what was going on with us, and he said you probably wouldn't mind loaning us your car until ours got fixed and you could drive his SUV."
"I know you trippin'! Shawn is too! You know I don't loan my car out!"
"Come on mama, let me get the car. How we gonna get to school and to work?"
"Can't y
ou rent a car?"
"It cost too much. Our insurance is just liability."
"Girl... I don't like driving no body else's car either!"
"Ma... hellooo, he's gonna be your husband... I think its okay for you to drive his vehicle."
"Girl, I'm telling you now... you all better be careful driving my car! And do not... I repeat - DO NOT - let Mundo drive my car! He is too reckless! Do you understand me?!"
"Yes... I already said that to him. So can you come and get me and the boys, because I need to get me something to wear too, and then I can drive you back home."
"Yeah girl!" She clicked off the phone and shook her head. Realizing suddenly that Angela and her daughter were about to meet, and Angela's tendency to speak her mind, something occurred to her. "Um Angela, I need you to do me a favor sweety. This is really important."
"Em hm?" She nodded and mumbled looking to Sylvia to hear what.
"I don't want you to mention that your father and I are going to have a baby to Crystal. I want to tell her, okay... because I need to ummm...shoot - just... do me that favor and let me handle it, okay?"
"Okay. Will she be mad at you?"
"Well, how can I explain this? You see when I was raising her Angela, I insisted upon certain principles and morals. I insisted that she carry herself a certain way that would keep her from looking back on her life with regret. I tried really hard to guard her from making mistakes that would make her feel bad about herself later in life. Like... for instance, I honestly believe that it is better all the way around, for every aspect of ones life, to remain a virgin until you're married."
"Oh." Angela responded.
"You know what a virgin is?" Sylvia asked.
"Someone who hasn't had sex before."
"Yes... exactly. When boys lose their virginity, no one bats an eye. But no matter how far we proceed into a modern world, a woman is still categorized and slotted by how she carries herself. I always told my daughter, to place the value of what she is, really really high, so high, that it would take a special kind of man to reach it. Because the man that could reach it, is deserving of the prize that a woman can only give once in her life. Holding onto ones virginity can be a source of pride, dignity and self-respect. Anyway, because of me drilling that into her head, she might be upset with me, that I'm pregnant and your dad and I aren't married."
"Oh...I see. But - you had sex before Sylvia, you have kids already... so its okay for you."
Sylvia sighed. "No Angela... I don't want you thinking its okay. I should have stood strong and not gotten so caught up with your dad that I lost my conviction. Granted, I wasn't a virgin, but its the principle of the matter." She finished thinking about it.
"So...does that mean, since you're like my mother now, that you want me to stay a virgin too until I'm married?"
"Yes... I would like you to. There's nothing I can do to assure that you will, but I will always be here to talk to. And I would really love it, if you always always talked to me before you made any decisions that will alter your lifestyle for your future. I can't force you to do the right things in life Angela, but I can always hope with all my heart that you will. I promise you this, I will never lie to you. I will always tell you the truth straight up the way it is. The truth is, I should not be pregnant right now. Your father and I should have waited until we were married."
They both fell quiet thinking.
Then Angela said after a few minutes, "I'm glad that you love my daddy so much that you couldn't wait. Because maybe you wouldn't be having a baby now if you did and I want you to have this baby Sylvia - I don't care if its a boy or a girl... as long as we get to keep it."
"Aaah, you are so sweet. But in two years, maybe three, hormones are going to possess you, so... for now, I'm going to enjoy you while I can." Sylvia cooed, stroking her hair. Angela looked up at her strange not at all understanding. Sylvia laughed, "Later, you will understand." Thirty minutes later they pulled into La Crosse and Sylvia went straight to her daughters.
"Oh my goodness look at her! She just like her daddy! Man! Hi again Angela!" Crystal smiled brightly.
Angela was all teeth meeting her "older sister" for the first time. She thought Crystal was beautiful. She was lighter in complexion than Sylvia, a light caramel color, with light brown eyes and braids in her hair to her shoulder blades, she looked a lot like DJ and said it "You look like DJ... my tia Meribel's oldest son."
"I do? Well I can't wait to meet him." She said as Isaac and Darren stared at Angela, she sat on the sofa next to them when Isaac said, "You a kid just like me. I'm almost big as you. Why you wit' my grandma?"
"That's because she lives with me now Isaac, she's my baby now." Sylvia informed him and then pulled Angela to her, hugging her to see what he would do.
"She not no baby...Darren the baby, grandma! She a girl." He corrected her. Crystal and Sylvia laughed at him, "Come on boy put on your shoes so we can go." Crystal ordered. Darren kept leaning forward to look at Angela and then falling back laughing. Victor was in the room sleeping because he had to work nights and Mundo was gone. Mother and daughter talked as Angela got to know Isaac and Darren. In no time at all, it was clear to see that Darren had taken to her and she was eager to carry him around as they all loaded into Sylvia's car, buckling in the car seat and setting off for the shopping they had to do. Crystal talked to Angela getting to know her better and decided that she would take her along when she and Victor took his young brother and sisters to Six Flaggs.
"Girl... you have to get Shawn to agree to that, I don't know about that one. How long you all gonna be gone?" Sylvia asked as they walked the mall with Angela looking on the verge of begging to go with her.
"For two days, it'll be fun for her mama! She don't wanna be staying around yah'll all day everyday! She need to have some fun too you know."
"As if we're not gonna see to her entertainment, I did with you and Mundo didn't I?"
"Yeah but you too old now mama to be doing stuff like that! You ain't gone be going on no rides at Six Flaggs and stuff. So yah'll just have to get use to me coming and getting her on the weekends so she can come and stay with me when we do stuff."
"Oh yes!" Angela eagerly agreed.
Sylvia shook her head, "As I said... you gone have to talk to her daddy about that." She returned as they turned into a jeweller, going to the display case with the wedding sets and rings.
"Hi... can I help you?" The clerk asked.
"Yes... I need a mans wedding band today... I must leave here with it, and it has to be able to fit my thumb loosely, that's his size for his ring finger." Sylvia commanded and the clerk, Angela and Crystal went about selecting Shawn's wedding band. The one all agreed that was the nicest, had to be resized, the clerk promised it would be back in 4 days. Sylvia was a nervous wreck. "There cannot be a delay... this ring must be back and ready to go in four days, or else I don't get to put a ring on my husband's finger and that is just unacceptable!"
"I assure you, it will be ready in four days... that won't be a problem at all." The clerk promised.
"Don't worry mama, I can pick it up for you too, so it'll be fine."
Sylvia was growing more and more nervous as the day drew near. They finished shopping, finding Angela the perfect dress, stockings, under-things and shoes. She also stopped in to one of the salons and had her some bangs cut and her ends trimmed. If that weren't enough, Angela wanted her ears pierced, which Sylvia thought strange that it hadn't been done already, and let her get her ears pierced, telling Angela the first 'No' from her when she asked for two holes in each ear. Crystal found herself an outfit, which Sylvia ended up paying for as well. Four and a half hours later they pulled back up to the house.
Unloading the car, Isaac saw Shawn and lit up like a Christmas tree. "Hey man! How you doin'!"
The greeting sent all of them into laughter as Shawn scooped him up laughing and rubbing his stomach. "I'm straight! What's up with you?" Shawn asked.
"You can ride me on yo' mo
to'cycle if you want to?!"
"No Isaac - not today, we have to get back!" Crystal informed him helping her mother with her things. Before she left, she told Shawn about her plans in two weeks, asking could she take Angela with them for the two days. Shawn's eyes got big, she could see he was battling with it.
"I promise you, I will be super careful with her. Believe me, I will watch her like a hawk! Believe it or not, I'm probably more protective than my mother, she'll be safe."
"Please daddy please... please let me go... oh please?!"
Shawn looked from Angela to Crystal.
"Let me think about it okay? I mean... two days?"
"Look... I know she's your little girl and you're right for protecting her the way you are, but there is always gonna be a time when you're not going to be there for her. Something can happen to her at school. Something could have happened when she left earlier with my mom. I can reassure you this, I will not let her out of my sight. She will be with two other little girls her age, and one boy, Victors little brother and sisters, and they're good kids, they're mom is like my mom. Anyway... think about it, but if you think too long - you won't do it, because your imagination will kick in with all the what ifs. Its up to you, I gotta go. See you guys later, thank you Shawn and mom for the car... I'll take good care of it. Bye bye Angela, we gone get together lil'sis... don't you worry."
Angela followed her all the way outside helping her get the boys in the car leaving Shawn and Sylvia in the kitchen.
"You know what... I was prepared for everything from the time she was born till now... but it just occurred to me, she's not a baby anymore. She already wants to go off and do things, what the hell am I suppose to do now?" He asked Sylvia.
"What every other parent has to do, get ready to slowly, carefully, gradually...in time... let go. Remember what you told me? Now its your turn to realize it."
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