"Well that makes two of us. Now come along, you have to give your dad a kiss and hug goodnight." Sylvia prompted.
Angela said goodnight to her father, giving him his kiss and hug, then went and kissed Isaac and Darren goodnight, they hugged her in turn and went right back to watching Monster's Inc. she ran downstairs and told Mundo goodnight, giving him a hug, he shagged her hair and winked at her saying his goodnight. Smiling all the way, she made her way back upstairs and back into her room, climbed in bed, checked on Crystal and pulled the covers up over her shoulders, then impulsively she kissed her forehead and whispered, "Goodnight Crystal, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite." Smiling she turned over and laid down going off to sleep with a smile on her face. All was wonderful, and plus... school tomorrow.
Sylvia went into her room doing her usual before bed routine, she figured Shawn must be in basement with Mundo, their voices drifted up through the floor now and then, laughter mixed in with it. She smiled. It was amazing. Angela loved her and her kids took to Shawn right away, as he had taken to them. Funny how in both, each of them provided what the kids felt lacking. Where Angela missed the closeness of a mother and desired to have a family, she found with Sylvia and her kids. Where hers had suffered from the lack of participation from their father and now, his absence, Shawn filled that gap... and then some. However in the case of her daughter, she knew that what needs there were to be met, far exceeded what Shawn could possibly offer... but she was confident that his presence and support would help.
Done in the bathroom, she went back into the living room and checked on her grandsons, they'd finally fallen off to sleep. Picking up the remote, she clicked the DVD player off, and then the tv. Covering Darren with his blanket, he always kicked it off. Isaac was wrapped up and content, sleeping soundly. He'd had a ball today riding on the motorcycle. She had to smile... as long as that was an option for him, he was pretty much content, didn't matter what else was going on... just let him ride the motorcycle.
She turned to check on the girls again, both were sound asleep. Funny how she was now unable to just go to bed, because Shawn wasn't upstairs going to bed with her. She was becoming too use to that man. She walked into her small office room and turned on her computer for the first time in weeks. Checking her email, she was staggered by the amount of spam, "I hate you people who do this! Man!" She waded through five hundred and seventy-eight emails, hundreds and hundreds of it junk. Then to her surprise, there were several from Shawn in there. She couldn't believe it. There were seven of them.
She quickly went through all the other mail, some from friends that she flagged to reply to later, and went to his first one. It was dated to the night they confirmed that she was pregnant.
First Email...
Hello love of my life...
I cannot sleep, it is a chore with you lying beside me. I find myself constantly wanting to look at you. Just to be certain that what I'm seeing is true. You're having my baby, its growing within you right now. Words cannot express the depth of what I feel. No... I did not discuss it with you so we could plan it. My children will not be conceived while following a plan, but conceived from us filled to the brim with so much love and need from each other... nothing but a child could possibly come of it. I see you lying there sleeping, and a serge so strong to pull you safe within me is overwhelming. I lifted your small delicate hand; so soft and fragile, filled with the power of what this man needs. The ring on your finger, to me represents, my right of passage to all the wonders that this little hand holds. I placed it against my cheek. You stirred and whispered my name, and I found myself gripped deep within. Yes, I wish to be in your dreams, even there... I will protect you... even there. Sleep... and know, that as you do... I lie here... loving you... protecting you.
Second Email...
Hello love of my life...
Guess you're not checking your emails. I won't mention them to you, I'd rather you just found them here. Here and filled with some of the thoughts that go through my mind. I dare not overwhelm you with all that I feel. I fear that I smother you enough... yes I know I do. One would think at 42 years old, I would be beyond the youthful nonsense and lack of self-control. I once thought I was, beyond the way I am with you. No, no way... far from it. Far from it. I want you to love me, the way... I love you. I want you to feel what I'm feeling when I'm buried deep inside of you... no, not as deep as I would love to go. I would never hurt you, especially not with my love. Sometimes... sometimes... I wish you would open yourself up and free what's inside of you. All the things that have made you fear truly giving over to me. No matter... if the only way to have you... is as you are. Gladly... foolish or no... I will take you this way m'lass... aye... I will, because there is a place in me... no one could touch save you... no one. Touch me there Sylvia... touch me there...
Third Email...
You madam... are a snot! Shameful how you twist me and lock me into a corner I cannot possibly escape. Leaving this man with no alternative other than to beg your mercy... aye... and you know that I will. You... yes you... very much aware of this power you hold. My mere manly strength is sad and lacking up against one cut from those dark eyes. What moves me, is no mystery to you madam, the more you push me away, the more I want you. At your fiery worse, I am longing to be burned... you do set me on fire... oh you do. Yes... during the day, you have your way, you prance about with that air as if to say... I care not... one way - or the other... hmph... but at night, in our bed... when I am touching you... I am in command... I am master over the beautiful instrument - that is - your body, and when I play... my name - you sing... yes... you sing. So have your days madam... have them well... as long as at night... it is my name... that you sing.
Forth Email...
I knew they would love you. You fit you see. Right in the very midst of us, you fit. YOU Sylvia - you... were always meant to be mine. No other... just mine. By some weird twist of fate, to punish me for crimes done... you were kept from me. To be handled by another, treated in a way that now - too hurts me to know. Can't you see... don't you know... we... you and I, are one. We are one. On my mind, as I sit here writing this to you, I see the two of us, on my bike... riding into the wind - Oh what a man proud, this one be... to have a woman such as you, holding on to me. Hold on to me Sylvie... hold on to me.
Fifth email...
Mi'lady, either you play a vicious game with this Irishmen, pretending naught has been said. Or... aye... I am guilty of stealing so much time, all such sentiments float about in a cyber world where no one takes note of such sincerity. Tis' a shame, that I be such a fool for'ya' - I canna' help it... it fills me and floods me from one day to'the next i'does. In which the days end... here I sit leavin' it to flow free like a wound to bleed. Aye... and tomorrow... it will bleed agin'. As sure as the sun rises, as sure as the breeze does blow, with each turn of this grand earth where you and I dwell... I will feel myself overwhelmed with so much love for you. M'lass... now I sit, wishing these emails you read... and feeling also a certain dread. No man should give a woman like you... such a view... I risk much... aye lass I do... I do...
Sixth email...
My father and I spoke of you today... while we were out. Its been a long time since he and I were alone together. A long time. It was nice, he seemed... to really want to get to know me. As if... he hadn't known me before. It was strange. Could it be that he's growing older perhaps? I don't know. I felt good in my heart Sylvie... because he said to me... more than once... three times even... my good son... my good son... you make me proud. I admit... it choked me up. To hear my father say... my good son... my good son... when I know... I haven't been such a good son. He knows nothing of my past... the things I've done. A million times a day... I want to wash that past away... all but for... Jesse. I pray... that he never knows... you see... I want so much to be always... his good son. Sorry honey... this email was suppose to be to you... maybe it is. Maybe it is...
Seventh email...
My child within your wound
makes you ill... while I know that this is normal... it hurts me, because... stupid thing to think... to say, but it feels as if... you are ill with me. If I could take it on to me myself... know that I would. I wrote you a poem today... while sipping my coffee and you lay sleeping I was daydreaming about taking you to Ireland ... I'm not a man of great words... although you inspire so much in me... here it is...
You turn your face toward the sky...
Your dark eyes sparkle with a thousand reflected stars.
Tis' the beauty in those pools of luv that remind me of Innisfree.
I want to walk with you through an Irish glen as the breeze caresses your dusky dark skin,
To be sure the dazzlin' beauty of that grassy - fen will be nought beside your own.
Your kisses will intoxicate me - more than any one hundred year old Irish malt.
Like it... Aye - I stagger when I sup from those full, red lips as we stand beneath an Eirean night sky.
I'll lower you gently to the ground, with the vigor of a thousand men - I'll take you there and then
I'll carry you - to the waters that my ancestors for a thousand generations traditionally took their wives to, on the dawn of the first day of their marriage. To be sure... we'll sit, holding hands, going over our plans for our life together and I'll sing to you an Irish love song, as we sit in the morning glow of Connemara.
No... not lyrically filled with rhyme - but its from my heart... come with me... to Ireland - and let me love you upon the glen - right beneath a Connemara rainbow... for there I will love you... again and again. I can see us here among the sheep, watching the sun rise - Look love
... and here as well, oh would I love to be the master of this humble abode in Ireland with you... Our humblecottage
...
Sylvia sat with her hands pressed to her cheeks, her eyes filled with tears.
"Are you just now reading your emails?" His deep voice beckoned from behind her. She turned and saw him standing there, immediately she sprang to her feet and into his arms. He stood holding her, his hands going through her hair, squeezing and holding on tight. "Shawn..." His name passed her lips as a gasp ... speechless and overwhelmed. "What?" He whispered against her brow. She shook her head against his chest, unable to speak. "Let's go to bed." He suggested softly.
They lay together silently for moments long after turning off the lights. Shawn had been in the basement for quite some time with Mundo... just talking, the two really getting to know each other. Now he lay stroking Sylvia's arm, wiping at a few of her tears. He didn't have to ask what they were for, he knew... each day that past... he knew her more and more, understood how she felt, thought and what she wanted. He felt it was his responsibility to bring it to her. While she gave him children, it was his job to assure that they all benefited from a life worth living, that was his duty... he would see it through.
"It took some doing..." He finally spoke, "... but... I've convinced Mundo to move here with us. I imagine... the tough one will be convincing Crystal to do the same. They may have gone off into the world equipped with what is needed to financially survive... but... emotionally... they're half full. Just as Angela... was half full. Mainly... Crystal... we need to get her to move here with us. She needs our help... would you agree."
Sylvia turned into his chest and began softly crying, nodding her head.
"Aaah baby... don't cry... I know. I know... I know what you're feeling... I understand how what you saw today hurts you. Sylvie... its not your fault-..."
"It is - it - it is... I-..."
"No... shhh, listen to me. You cannot be mother and father to them... just as I cannot be father... and mother to Angela. There is a reason GOD gave parenting to two. There is a reason... I get it now... when I saw her today... it clicked in my head... the mother fills one half, the father fills the other... and the child is complete. If one of them, fills the child with bad things... when time comes for their half to perform... the performance will be filled with bad things... no matter how well filled the other half, and there lies the tug of war within the child's mind and conscience. Stop your weeping my wife... and know this... the half belonging to you... is oh so beautiful... some how... we will use it to bury that other half... if they will let us."
He hugged her deep in thought, strange feelings were sweeping over him. He truly felt there was a reason they were together, a reason all of their children this day were under their roof, a reason what needed to come out did. This was his family - the one he had longed for. He took it as Gods way of helping him to make up for lost time.
Shawn passed Sylvia the roll of toilet paper. "Baby you need to buy some Kleenex... because we gonna run out of ass wipe if this keeps up."
Sylvia started laughing as she cried, and couldn't stop, blowing her nose she chuckled every time his words came back to mind. "Tomorrow." She finally promised.
"So... if by chance we do get Crystal to agree to come home... how are we going to afford to put them all up, and for how long?" Sylvia murmured.
"Let's get them through school. She's doing too much Sylvia. She's wearing herself out, and refusing to ask for help. She's trying to be a super everything... problem is, she's not. School is more important than anything right now... we must take off some of the pressure so she can get that done... accomplish that. She needs to focus on her children, herself and her education. I think she needs to go to a doctor as well... there is nothing more dangerous than a chemically embalanced woman... hormones going nuts can get a city blown to bits."
Sylvia leaned up and looked at him laughing again. "You sound scared."
"I am!" He joked, they laughed. "But I can take it. Just don't you go to getting embalanced on me."
"Who me? Surely you're not afraid of me?" Sylvia leaned up on her elbow to ask in the dark of their room.
Shawn smiled... already she was sure in what he felt... he didn't care, he wanted her to know. Stroking her brow, he cautioned her, "Careful m'lass, ye' stir the beast an' he'll bite for sure." He purred in a thick Irish brogue that made Sylvia's toes curl just hearing it. "Bite hm... is that all the beast will do... is bite?"
"Ach! Calm y'self woman... tis another week we are t'be waitin'!"
Sylvia chuckled and laid her head back to his chest, "All right, I'll have mercy on you then." She sighed, "How are we to afford this Shawn? Shanna, now my kids, plans to build the house, turning this one into a bed and breakfast... I don't want us to end up in debt." She spoke honestly.
"We'll do the best that we can. Consider this... we're starting off better than most, I won't let money worries crowd out my families needs, and right now... they have needs that must be met. First things first... and that's convincing Crystal to give up that house, she's only renting it anyway. Although, Mundo told me she was looking to buy it, she likes it there. Some how we have to convince her there's something better on the horizon and to let it go. He thinks we're going to struggle with her, she's so independent."
"I'm to blame for that, I always told them to depend on no one but themselves. That if they were to gain in life they needed to work for it, only then would they appreciate their accomplishments. Yeah... she's gonna be tough to turn over, I also get a feeling that she's going to want to go after Victor - how do I convince her to leave him be for a time, to focus on herself?"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Ummm, I've been calculating in my head sweety... and ummm..." Shawn took a really deep breath and blew it out. "I think... we're going to have to end up getting a loan at some point along the way."
"No Shawn!" Sylvia leaned up to look at him.
"Sylvia... I'm building you that house, and ... I'm going to have a brand new garage built with an apartment over it for Mundo and I'm going to have to add more bedrooms for Crystal and the boys."
"Shawn we don't even know if she's going to agree and move here or not. I don't like owing the bank... right now, everything we have is paid for - I don't want us going into debt. I'll tell you what... let's just
build an extension on your house and leave it at that. We'll continue on with the bed and breakfast and as we gain revenue from it, we'll add to the house instead of building a new one."
"I want to build you a new home... I promised you that."
"Shawn... you need to understand something about me. I want my home clean, I want my home conservatively nice, and I want people to respect my things and take care when using them. But for me to be happy... I don't need to be in a palace, I need to be debt free. If we're living in a big splendid home for everyone to drive by and ooou and aaah, while we're inside biting our nails trying to figure which bill gets paid and which doesn't... I'm sorry... any means of joy and satisfaction from it is gone from me. I'm not trying to impress anybody! I don't give a shit who has what... I'm not about to try and keep up with the Jones'! There's nothing in this house that is new. But its clean, its been well cared for, and it has lasted because I made sure it would last. Now across that road, we'll build an extension on it and redecorate - I'll even splurge and buy some new furniture if it will make you happy. As for that garage, we'll build an apartment on top of it."
"Baby it's old though." Shawn was smiling at her.
"I'on care... brace it up... nobody up there but Mundo... we'll tell'im don't be jumpin' around up there - if it come down, got nobody to blame but yourself!"
Shawn started laughing, "Sylvia its not that bad honey."
"It can get that bad Shawn... I'm serious now..." She sat up in the bed. "... I'm telling you now... you wanna help everybody? Fine! We will... but I handle the finances - cause you just spend like we grow it on trees in the backyard. I'm puttin' my foot down this time, if you mean what you say about doing it for me... then do it my way. Give me the money, let me budget it - we do extension... brick the bottom, alum side the top... new roof... bam! New house... good enough for me!"
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