"Men are... what?" The clergyman asked gently.
"Well... they can be... dangerous, unpredictable... scary... if... you don't know what you're getting into."
"Sylvia? Are you saying you're afraid of me? You know me." Shawn addressed her uneasy.
"I know Shawn... don't misunderstand me, I'm just saying, that... I'm nervous... I feel that marriage is and should be a permanent institution. I felt that way the first time, and recently I learned, my thinking was all messed up and its harsh to realize after all this time, that I should not have stayed in that marriage. Here I am ... again... about to marry."
"I'm not Armundo, Sylvia."
"No... I know you're not... but-..."
"You know what I see... that the two of you may need more time. Certainly more time needs to be given for her to gain more confidence in what you two share. To gain more confidence in you. Are you aware of her fears?" Reverend Hamilton stated gently.
"Of course I am! I would never hurt her, she knows that. Sylvia... surely you know me? Where is this coming from?" Shawn asked feeling shaky.
"Look... I'm sorry... this is turning out all wrong. I only meant to express the way I sometimes feel and sometimes fear, I can't help it when I get just a bit fearful."
"Not of me... you know there is no reason for you to ever fear me."
"I know Shawn." Sylvia felt her innards twisting, she knew she was causing him worry, but she was only saying what she felt. Yet, at the same time that she felt nervous tension building within her as the day drew near, she wanted to marry him just as bad as she was afraid to. She was divided. Half of her, the adventurous brave half, was eager and in love with him, but the other half, in love with him yes, however... that side was more cautious, telling her to slow it down. That side kept reminding her of how Armundo had been before they married, and once the vows were said... in the blink of an eye - he was totally different. She had seen enough of Shawn's temper to know, that if he ever grew angry enough to hit her, she would be hurt and hurt bad. All the time this day was coming towards her, she ignored the speed and realization that once the invitations went out, and people started looking forward to their wedding she would be under obligation to go through with it. To do otherwise would humiliate Shawn... and there was no doubt that she loved him too much to put him through that. She needed to overcome this sensation, brace herself up and go through with it. Once it was over, everything would be fine and she would have stressed for nothing.
Taking a deep breath, she looked at the reverend, in the eyes, "I want this. We love each other, and there is no need to wait. Pre-wedding jitters are normal, are they not?"
The reverend smiled and nodded, "Yes they are. But - I have a feeling here - and because of that feeling, I'm going to have to refuse to marry you."
Those words were like a firecracker going off in a library.
"What?" Shawn asked.
"I can't marry you. Both of you need to be one hundred percent sure - she needs more reassurance time-..."
"I am one hundred percent - really I am." Sylvia's heart was racing madly in her chest, her ears were ringing, she couldn't believe what she'd done. She'd ruined everything because of voicing her doubts, now the reverend was refusing them.
"You're afraid... and I can see that you are. Your wanting to go through with it has to do with obligations before others. This is a big event and no doubt many persons have been invited so they know. You're afraid of causing embarrassment to your fiancé - and I understand that. But you need time."
"We don't have time!" Shawn objected. "The date is for tomorrow! We've contacted people on short notice and they've made changes with their jobs and everything to get off and be here. There's going to be a wedding!"
"Not in my church." Reverend Hamilton stated simply.
"Nooo, please don't do this - please don't do this! I'm sorry... what do I have to do to convince you that I love him? My fears will not be conquered by next year, or the year after that! They will only be conquered by us being together as husband and wife and growing together in confidence and trust of each other." Sylvia felt her eyes pool, because as she sat fighting for this marriage to take place in the church, while she felt the guilt of keeping certain truths from Shawn, she at least told his mother and sister. Just then, as she realized she was afraid to be honest with him about that... what else would she fear telling him down the road she wondered? What if there was someone else next time besides Jake? She knew that they needed to be totally honest with each other, and here she was holding back. Everything was happening so fast, there simply was no time to tell him about his brother, she couldn't risk it... she'd kept it to herself for too long. Simply put, she didn't have the energy for the stress and drama disclosing that might bring about. They were supposed to be getting married tomorrow, once the vows were said, and they were husband and wife... all would be fine.
With her heart pounding in panic for duel reasons, with her breasts rising and falling, she tried to help the reverend see how else she felt, "He is... everything... I've ever wanted... everything. I am... haunted, and hurt... by the wrong kind of man. Now... finally-..." Tears were spilling over onto her cheeks because she was even more scared as warnings and fears flew at her like aimed darts. She ignored all else, because she wanted Shawn. She wanted this happy family. She owed it to her kids. To Angela. Everyone was depending on them to be this sure thing couple. She had a responsibility to follow through. After all, she'd let it get this far. Now his mother was depending on her, Shanna was depending on them. She was carrying his child, his baby. They would marry tomorrow come hell or high water... because people depended on this to take place and it would.
"Calm down..." Reverend Hamilton encouraged, grabbing a Kleenex for her.
She took it and wiped at her eyes, taking a deep breath.
"Please... I need you to listen to me, because for the first time in my life... I have something... someone... worth fighting for... don't deny us this... because of my fears. I love him, and we were meant to be together, I'm asking you... pleading with you... marry us tomorrow. Shawn and I, will always be... there is no divorce in our future." She sniffed and turned to look at Shawn. His eyes were moist as well, his hand squeezing at her shoulder, he pulled her towards him and kissed her salty lips, his other hand cupping her cheek and stroking her tears away with his thumb. The gesture made Sylvia tear up even more, because she meant it. He was worth fighting for and they would be fine. She just needed to believe in what they had.
"I love you." Shawn mouthed softly to her.
"I love you too." She said louder in return.
Reverend Hamilton took a very deep and long breath.
"Okay... I'll marry you two only on one condition."
They both turned to him acquiescent to whatever he required.
"Both of you grab my hand." He instructed them, then put his hands out for them to grab one. "Now take each other's hand with the other." They did.
"This is no pre-nup. No signed contract or power of attorney, notarized before court or a judge prepared by an attorney, but a commitment I will hold you both to before our Heavenly Father. If you two wish to stand in my church tomorrow and say vows that are meant to bind you forever, you will make this promise before me and before GOD this day. I want to hear both of you declare, here and now, with these words that - No matter what hell for us comes, we will not divorce, no - it is not an option... now - nor on the road ahead. Say it... and mean it. Say it to me, repeat it to each other, and then in prayer to the Almighty Creator of marriage. Say it now, you first Mr. McPherson."
"To you reverend Hamilton, this - I promise - that no matter what hell for us comes, we will not divorce, it is not an option... now - nor on the road ahead. Sylvia... this I promise you... that no matter what hell for us comes, we will not divorce... it is not an option... now - nor on the road ahead." Shawn looked back at the reverend.
"Now your turn Sylvia, and the last part, I will lead you two in prayer to promise to our
Father."
"I promise, to you reverend Hamilton..." She followed suit, to Shawn as well and upon completion turned back to the reverend.
"Now bow your heads with me. Close your eyes, open your senses, and expose your hearts. Heavenly Father, I petition you through your son, and I plead a moment of your time. Tomorrow, I will be committing these two in marriage, one that I pray will last until one or both of them expire. Please give us this moment and hear their declaration and promise to you. Shawn... you first."
"Heavenly Father..." And he went on to make the same heartfelt declaration he made to the reverend and Sylvia, but this time to God. The reverend then directed Sylvia to do the same and she followed through. The reverend closed the prayer and said an amen followed by Shawn and Sylvia.
"Now... I know you two don't live here in town but I wanna see you in my church. If this marriage is to have a chance in succeeding, you two need to at least make it here on Sundays... yes its a drive... but its to benefit yourselves and its the least of what you can do in return to the Lord. The pledge - the promise, what you two have just declared, cannot be challenged in a court of law. One, or the other of you, need not comply... all the declarations in the world, will not keep you together, if you are not determined to be that way. Simply put... what your marriage will be... is in your hands. Remember, words... cannot be taken back... actions cannot be reversed... and anything that you do, if it is not for the sake of each other, it is not worthy to contemplate. Tomorrow, the two of you, will become one... one... one... it is no longer about just what you want... nor is it about what you want... but what you two need... for each other.... one... after tomorrow."
They both took a deep breath and nodded in understanding. "You need to get here to church."
Shawn spoke up looking at Sylvia. "We'll try, won't we?" He asked. She nodded and squeezed his hand, realizing that she still held the reverends and then let it go with an apologetic smile. "Yes... we will."
"I'd feel better if you just did it... just trying, often leaves room for failure. Oh well, I've had my say, I'll see you here tomorrow at 3... I can't wait."
Chapter 68
L.A...
"Oh... this is nice, I like it. It's... big... real big... roomy, nice." Deidre complimented Jeremiah after he closed her door and walked around to his side of the H2 to climb in.
"What can I say, this... just one of the things I can depend on... I must say, I love it."
"So must the gas companies... what it must cost to fuel up at the pumps."
"Everything in life worth having comes at a price... some prices are higher than others. All depends on what it is a man wants. Then... what he's willing to pay for it. For me to drive something like this... I have to be willing to accept the cost... and I do... I enjoy the ride, so I fill it up and don't bother about the rest and head on about my way. Trust me, its worth the feeling I get... when people see me drive by... worth every dime to dollar." Jeremiah shared calmly, relaxed behind the wheel. It was his second one, trading in the first he had the moment the new models made it to the showroom floor. The comfort and luxurious interior could not be denied. Deidre noted the extensive technology installed within the dash and could only shake her head in wonder. It was most certainly a man's vehicle. Not that a woman wouldn't enjoy it as well... but the gadget filled dash was more than she cared to deal with.
"You comfortable?" He asked, starting it up.
"How can I not be?"
"Exactly... so... how has your week been?" He began pulling out of her lot, he'd finally held out long enough and called her for lunch - she already had plans for lunch, so he asked about dinner... and there they were.
"Pretty good. My parents are out of town, so I was able to get more done with the business, getting some coaching done, had a few meetings with our sales persons. The staff is more relaxed when they aren't around - gives me the space I need to boost morale and with good reason."
"So the staff respects you - over your parents?"
"That's because my parents treat everyone working for them as chattel."
Jeremiah raised a brow, but reserved comment of the true statement, he knew that from what his mother had gone through working for them. This too crossed Deidre's mind and she grew uncomfortable after saying it. Once again, she felt the shame of what happened to his mother at her parents hands.
Realizing he needed to relieve the sudden tension, he asked, "So what is it that has made you so different from them?"
"Oooh, I guess its due to the fact that they care no more for me than they do anyone else. I stand practically in the same position - difference being, I happen to be an off-spring of theirs."
"Off-spring?!" Jeremiah shivered at the word.
"Yeah... that about says it, for that reason, I get to carry the great Wherrington name. Trust me, it elevates me no more than the next person who might stand in their way of whatever it is they seek."
"Thus... your moving out." He stated.
She turned to him and wondered how he knew that she'd just moved out. "How did you know that?"
"Know what?"
"That I'd moved out?"
"Emmm, let me think about that a moment... ummm, I just picked you up - not - from the famous Wherrington mansion... that might have a lot to do with it." Jeremiah tried to recover, he couldn't believe he'd said something so stupid. Of course it sounded as if he knew what was going on in her life...and he did... but it wasn't something he wanted her to know, he figured he might need to take a detour of his laid out maneuver.
"Maybe I moved out the moment I left for school? You made it sound like I'd just done so? Which... in fact I have... how did you know that?"
Jeremiah took a deep breath and gambled on a bit of honesty.
"I know... because... I've been following the events of your life... closely... carefully. I also... went out of my way to meet you the other day at the 7 Eleven... I also... waited with baited breath... to call you these last few days gone by. I had this big plan you see... to suddenly swoop into your life... and ... ummm, impress you. I've never - forgotten you, Deidre Wherrington... you... inspired me... to greater things... to be more than, the maids black son. It all began, when you told me about Arthur Ash... and here I am. You caught me red handed."
He quieted to let that sink in, took a deep breath and pulled over after they passed the intersection they crossed, at the curb, he turned to her and looked at her. She was pondering his words, peering at him through the dark interior of his hummer. "I suppose... I should take you home now... hm? I mean... now you know."
Deidre was stunned and flattered. A bit wary... yet, touched. He was a successful corporate lawyer, and whether that was due to something she once said way back when or not, the point was, here he was... on top. He had her full attention. Jeremiah Franklin was obviously a man motivated easily, able to set a focus on something, with the ambition and drive to actually go out and obtain it, against the odds - he'd succeeded in doing just that. A self-starter and leader. She smiled.
"Funny... I thought you were taking me out to dinner. Now you're not you say... why... that's not very decisive... for a corporate lawyer. Very well, if you wish."
He smiled, "What I wish... is to start over. I have reservations at Morton's Steakhouse - a place I'm almost certain you'd enjoy. The foods great, and ummm, I think the company will be too."
"Well lets go... and ummm, by the way... Morton's one of my favorites as well." And she smiled.
At The Restaurant...
They were seated in an area not far from the bar, giving them a vantage point of it, and the kitchen across the large dinning area. The room was low lit and breathtaking. The waiters and waitresses were at their best, prompt, attentive and service with a smile. Not one of them, which included the host, bat an eye at the interracial couple they made - and an attractive one at that as they were escorted to their table and handed their menus. Water was set before them as well silverware, immediately they were able to order a drink. Both decl
ined satisfied with their water as they browsed the menu. Playing in the background, Frank Sinatra singing, 'What's New?' Jeremiah squirmed in his seat, the music, atmosphere in the restaurant really was spell binding, however... he wasn't there to fall in love. Yet... he couldn't deny she was indeed breathtaking, the low lights did wonderful things for her eyes and skin. Her hair was such a rich healthy gleaming blonde. She glanced up at him and smiled, he returned it, deciding he should say something.
"So what are you having?" He asked.
A mischievous gleam came into her eyes, "Surely you know... if you've been following the goings on of my life so closely, hmmm, what do you think I'd enjoy?" She asked, and then making up her mind, she folded her menu closed and laid it aside, picking up her water, she took a sip and invited him to, "Go ahead... order for me... let's see how well you do, whether I enjoy this nights dinner, falls entirely on you."
"Oooh, a challenge, I love a challenge... let's see." He spoke softly looking over the starters, then up to see if their waiter was in sight, he was, he caught his eye and gave a ready nod, he was right there, "You ready to order sir?"
"Yes I am, for the lady, let's start with the sauteed wild mushrooms - grilled asparagus, roasted red pepper and balsamic vinegar, and I will have the blue point oysters on the half shell. For our salads, I'll have the Caesar, and she'll have the Morton's house salad. For our entree, she will have the domestic double rib lamb chops, and I will have the broiled salmon fillet, chef's sauce beurre blanc - for a vegetable, we'll both have creamed spinach, at the end of our meal, I'll have coffee - black - she'll have tea, with a lemon wedge. Thank you."
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