He nearly laughed out loud. When had he become so fanciful? Glancing down at Pamela beside him, he couldn’t see her face because of the brim of her bonnet, but he knew she was taking in everything around them.
“Do you hunt here?”
He shook his head. “No. It was once a hunting lodge, but some ancestor put a stop to it and no one has ever restarted the practice. Why do you ask?”
“I have seen a few deer and wondered if they were here because they felt safe.”
“Possibly.”
They came to the stream. An arched stone footbridge spanned the flowing water.
Kitt’s tread was firm over the uneven stones as he assisted Pamela onto the bridge. At its center, they stopped and looked down.
“It’s so peaceful here.” There was a wistfulness in Pamela’s voice. “I could stay here forever.”
Kitt slipped his arms around her, turning her toward him and anchoring her against his body.
“You could,” he said, his fingers coming up to stroke her cheek. “You could come here to live if you wished.”
Pamela raised her eyes to him, reminding him why he felt she belonged here. Her eyes blended with this place. The woodland, parkland and meadows were all reflected in the brown and green of her eyes. She was the nymph this place lacked.
“I could?”
“If I get a special license, we could be married by the end of the week.” Joy such as she had never known blossomed in Pamela’s chest. Her heart soared on eagle’s wings. Warmth raced through her veins, filling her with happiness.
Yes! Yes! Oh, yes!
The words were on the tip of her tongue but remained unspoken as Kitt continued.
“You would no longer have to worry about gossip, or your sister and grandparents. No one would ever snub you again. You would have everything you ever wanted.” She crashed to earth with a jolt. But what about love?
The question went unasked. For she knew the answer. Kitt felt responsible for her.
He felt sorry for her. But he did not love her. He would marry her out of a sense of responsibility, and to protect her. He would throw away his entire future on a misguided notion of honor. She could not let him do it.
“No.” She dropped her eyes to his chest as she spoke, blinking furiously to keep back the tears.
Kitt stiffened. “Why not?” She couldn’t tell from the sharpness of his voice whether he was angry or disappointed. When she remained silent, he asked, “Are you worried about what everyone will think?”
“No! Yes! Oh, I don’t know!” She broke away, turning to stare off down the course of the stream. Kitt moved behind her and his hands slid up her arms, leaving gooseflesh in their wake.
“You shouldn’t care.” His voice was gentle, his breath stirred the tiny wisps of hair at her temple. “I don’t.”
She closed her eyes and leaned back against him. Oh, how she wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe the ton didn’t matter. She wanted to believe his declaration that he didn’t care meant he cared for her enough to brave society’s censure.
But she couldn’t. The ton was a world of its own. If you didn’t play by its rules, regardless of your rank, you were shunned. That was the world Kitt had been born into, the only world he knew. She could not allow him to walk away from it because of her. He would never be happy, and he would eventually come to resent her. It would destroy him.
“It doesn’t matter. I can’t let you make such a sacrifice for me. I’m not worth it.” She was not prepared for his anger. His hands tightened on her shoulders and he spun her around to face him. “Not worth it?” he thundered. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Pamela would have backed away from him had the bridge wall not been behind her, forcing her to stand her ground. Blue fire blazed from his eyes. Inside, she cringed.
Drawing on the courage she had used to face her stepfather, she confronted him bravely.
“I will not be a charity case. I might consider your proposal if you loved me, but—”
“Love!” he spat with such vehemence she winced. “What in the name of all that’s holy does love have to do with this?”
“Very little to you, obviously.” Her anger rose to match his. “Nevertheless, I refuse to marry without it.”
Kitt’s mouth worked for a moment, as if he would say something more. Then, with a last blast from searing blue eyes, he spun on his heel and stalked away.
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A Persistant Attraction Page 25