‘Is that code for telling me you didn’t just kiss him, you screwed him? Oh, my God!’ She slumped into a sitting position on the top step and covered her face with her hands. Her posture brought back the frightful moment on the beach when he’d confessed the nature of his relationship with Steve and Elspeth to her, and had come so close to losing her.
His heart hammered now, terrified that he’d misjudged and that he was about to destroy what they had. When he tried to reach out to her, she batted his hands away.
‘How come you’re only mentioning this now? And why hasn’t Luthor said anything? He’s spent plenty of time telling me how much he’d like to bed you.’
Xane rubbed some warmth into his bare arms and wished he had a jacket. He wasn’t sure there was any way of making this moment easier. ‘I asked him not to, Dani. I didn’t want to upset you. I knew it would make you uncomfortable knowing yet another of my past lays was touring with us, particularly as he was a man.’
She nodded.
‘Dani, I couldn’t lose you.’ He dropped onto his knees on the step below her. ‘Not over something that happened ages ago. I knew what you’d think. I knew you’d constantly suspect and I don’t want you to be always on edge thinking I’m going to leave you.’
‘Aren’t you?’ Her voice sounded so tiny and uncertain, he wanted nothing more than to squeeze her tight and maybe have someone tie them together so that he couldn’t let go. Did this girl not know what she meant to him yet?
‘Xane, he’s gorgeous. He’s fun to be with. And he thinks the sun shines out of your arse. He’s probably awesome in bed too.’ She bit her lip. ‘I guess you’d know. Why wouldn’t you want to be with him rather than me?’
‘Because,’ he said, leaning in and scooping her off the step and into his arms, ‘you love me, you defend me and try to protect me, and I know you don’t believe me when I tell you that you’re gorgeous, but you are. You truly are, Daniella Fosbrook. When I slept with Luthor, it was purely a physical thing. We have more than that. So much more. You understand me. We speak the same language.’
‘Do we?’ she asked, though he was relieved she didn’t attempt to wriggle free of his embrace. ‘How can you say I understand you, when the fact that you swing both ways makes me want to curl into a ball and sob?’
‘Only because of your history, Dani, and half of that is shaped by lies. You’re afraid. I know that. What happened with your mum and dad would scar anyone, but I also know that inside you don’t believe I’m a monster because of my attraction to both sexes.’
‘I was taught to think that bisexuality is inherently wrong.’
‘You were also expected to deny every sexual urge there is, but you didn’t do it.’
‘I couldn’t. I wanted you too much,’ she confessed, tears welling in her eyes again.
Xane bowed his head and gently grazed her lips with his. He meant only to reassure her, to show that he cared and wanted her, but the kiss turned into something much more. Their mouths locked in a long, slow and subtle dance that sent tingles of bitter pleasure rippling down his throat and coalesced around his loins, wakening his libido. How could she imagine he’d ever want to walk away from her?
When they eventually parted, they were both giddy from lack of air, and Dani’s cheeks were stained with tears.
‘Take me to bed,’ she whispered. ‘Make love to me, Xane. Make love to me like the world is ending and we’re the last two people clinging together in the darkness.’
In many ways that felt like reality.
‘There’s nothing I’d like better.’ He secured her legs around his waist and carried her onto the bus. It was quiet; the rest of Black Halo were still out partying.
‘I think this calls for more than a bunk.’
‘Not the back bedroom,’ Dani protested, stretching out her arms to grab hold of the cupboards and slow his progress. ‘I don’t want to be anywhere Elspeth’s been.’
‘Upstairs then.’ He about-turned and carried her up the stairs, then through the bunk room to the sitting area. Hardly anyone seemed to use it, which was odd, because it was a warm and pleasant room, with lots of light from the numerous windows during the daytime. Now, the windows were black and their reflections moved within the frames.
Xane crossed to a set of controls on the wall. ‘Now I believe that if I do this and this –’ he jabbed at a couple of buttons with his fingertip ‘– yes! We get a bed.’ He grabbed a duvet off his bunk, then wrapped her in his arms again. ‘You don’t mind if I undress you a little, do you?’ He drew down the zip on the back of her dress, so he could slip it off her shoulders. The fabric pooled around her feet. ‘God, baby. You are so beautiful.’ He removed her bra too and drew a nipple into his mouth, making her mewl. ‘Let me touch you. Let me show you how very, very much you mean to me.’
He made slow, drawn-out love to her, exploring every part of her body, kissing every one of her damn scars, before they bound their bodies together.
‘I like Luthor,’ she muttered, as they hovered on the verge of sleep. ‘I’m more comfortable knowing it was him you got off with rather than somebody else.’
He let the fact ride that there were two … three other people on the bus he’d slept with. Some things were best forgotten.
‘You weren’t doing anything with him in the shower earlier, were you?’
‘We weren’t doing anything,’ he agreed. ‘Go to sleep, and don’t fret.’
Chapter 33
Dani was woken by the early-morning sunlight streaming through the windows on the upper floor of the bus. She blinked, dazzled by the brightness, and squinted at her surroundings. Last night the six windows had reflected only images of her and Xane; now¸ if she raised her head, they would expose the real them to the world. They ought to have considered closing the curtains, but then, they hadn’t exactly been thinking practically when they’d decided to use the fold-out bed instead of sharing the bunk room.
She grinned, remembering how comprehensive their lovemaking had been. Sister Anna from St Agatha’s would turn blue or suffer heart failure if she ever learned the half of it. She’d probably have to punish herself in order to purge such unholy thoughts from her head. Dani, on the other hand, intended to hang on to those memories with both hands and relive them frequently. No more punishment for her. Loving someone wasn’t a sin.
She turned to look at Xane, who was flat on his back doing his best starfish impersonation. The fold-out bed was about three times the width of one of the bunks, and he was clearly enjoying the extra space by occupying as much of the bed as possible. Not that she was complaining. He might have most of the mattress, but she had most of the covers. One corner of the duvet strategically covered his crotch, spoiling her view. He did look extraordinarily good naked, but then he was Xane Geist, the man with the voice of an angel, the devil’s smile and the body of a Greek god.
When he stretched out like this, all she wanted to do was stamp her mark all over him by rubbing her scent into his skin, or maybe by writing, ‘Fuck off, he’s mine’ across his abs in indelible ink.
Dani rolled onto her side, accidentally dislodging the duvet. Hello, handsome, her mind crowed at the sight of him. If lean muscle, washboard abs and ink weren’t enough to make her weak at the knees, then the thatch of blond hair she’d exposed totally did it. Not many people knew that her Prince of Darkness was golden down below.
Still cocooned within the duvet, Dani edged towards him to make a closer inspection. She circled a fingertip around his belly button and then followed the smattering of golden hairs south. Xane’s brain obviously hadn’t registered it as morning yet, because his cock was asleep. Dani touched it curiously, taking care to be gentle.
What if she surprised him with a nice wake-up call?
Was that too naughty? She wasn’t sure of the ethics of molesting a sleeping man. On the other hand, she was confident he wouldn’t object.
She wriggled closer still, using her elbows and toes for leverage, planted kisses
either side of his loins, and then kissed his cock.
‘Mm,’ he groaned, making her think he wasn’t as soundly asleep as he appeared.
Encouraged by that possibility, Dani took his soft cock into her mouth and sucked. He stiffened readily enough, until he was too much for her little mouth and she had to use her hands too, one to encircle the base of his shaft while the other explored the sensitive area of skin behind his balls. She’d learned he liked being stroked there. It got him stiff and excited, especially if she hinted that she might do more, such as slipping a finger into his arse.
Only a few tantalising touches there had him rigid and oozing precome.
God, was she weird or what? but she liked the taste of him. She loved that she got to claim that part of him when she swallowed.
Dani knew Xane was really awake when his fingers curled against the sheet and his muscles tightened as if he were desperately trying to tame his reaction to what she was doing to him. Relax, she thought at him. Let all this tension go. And don’t mind me while I use my mouth and lips for something fun. She really did like the sensation of having him in her mouth, especially like this, when he was being so passive and allowing her to dictate the pace.
Mmm, hard to believe he was really hers, especially when so many others coveted him. You can’t have him, Luthor, she silently warned her absent friend.
Dani licked the head of Xane’s cock, which made his breath catch. Suddenly, instead of breathing softly, his gasps became more ragged, and his cock was weeping copiously. She knew exactly the thing to tip him over too. She finally wriggled that finger into his hole.
Yep, that did it. His hips bucked involuntarily and his midsection lifted off the bed. Two more pulls upon his cock and he was gone, convulsing as his warm semen filled her mouth.
‘Dani?’ He reached out and touched her hair. ‘I hope that is you, or I’m going to have an awful lot of explaining to do to my girlfriend.’
‘It’s me. Mister, there ain’t nobody else getting near you.’ She wriggled her way up his body, until they were nose to nose. Xane peeped at her from beneath his eyelashes.
‘That was an awfully nice way to start the morning. What did I do to deserve it?’
‘Slept with me. And you looked so scrummy that I couldn’t resist.’ Her stomach chose that moment to grumble, causing Xane to laugh. ‘Sounds like you need a proper feast.’ He kissed away a trace of semen from her lips. ‘Breakfast in bed sound good?’
‘You’re going to cook me breakfast?’
He nodded, making his black hair fall forward over his shoulders. ‘There’s no need to sound that astonished.’
‘You’re actually going to cook. You’re not going to bribe Spook to do it?’
‘Cheeky.’ He rolled her over so that he lay on top. ‘Just because I don’t choose to demonstrate my culinary skills very often doesn’t mean I don’t know how to conjure up a fantastic meal. What do you fancy?’
‘More of you.’
‘Besides that.’ He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose, and then kissed her more thoroughly on the lips.
‘The works.’ Stuff her normal breakfast of fruit juice and yogurt. Today she wanted eggs, bacon, toast, everything.
‘Coming right up, but don’t be surprised if you end up with four hungry rock stars in here with you offering favours in exchange for a bite of bacon.’
‘The only rock star allowed through that door is you.’ She wasn’t ready to have most of Black Halo in bed with her, even if it was only food they were looking for. And yes, she appreciated how insane that sounded. Most of their fans would jump at the chance to occupy the same bed as them. ‘Maybe you could consider feeding them too.’
‘I’ll consider it.’ He grinned as he got out of bed and headed for the door to the bunk room. Being Xane, he didn’t give a fig about the windows and the possibility that he was flashing half the campsite.
‘Aren’t you going to put some clothes on?’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll find an apron to shield my assets.’
‘Nothing else?’ Her brows shot up her forehead. ‘It might be worth getting out of bed if that’s all you’re putting on.’ She could just imagine him with a frilly little piece of cloth covering his loins and the rest of him on display.
Xane shook his head. ‘Stay right there. I have plans for you once your stomach’s full.’
Chapter 34
Happy as he was walking around naked, Xane realised that nude cooking probably wasn’t wise – it was asking for burns in intimate places – so he paused in the bunk room to pull on some shorts. Much to his surprise, he found most of the bunks were occupied, which was definitely a good thing, given they were due to leave the festival that morning and head north into Sweden. The last thing he wanted was to be co-opted into rounding up his missing bandmates when he had planned a long, glorious morning in bed with Dani.
Sweden – the place he’d first met Luthor. His mind was assailed by memories of a previous lazy morning, on a tour bus leaving a different festival. It’d been daylight when he and Luthor parted ways. Xane had crawled back onto the tour bus, so stiff and used that he couldn’t walk, to find Steve crashed out on the kitchen floor with two rather dishevelled young ladies. As he recalled, it’d taken him and Steve pretending they were hot for each other and about to fuck to get them to leave. Not that it had been wholly pretence on his part, but he hadn’t lost his heart to Steve at that point. Or maybe he had, and just hadn’t admitted it to himself.
It all seemed such a very long time ago. So much had happened; too much, surely, to squeeze into three short years. Xane paused at the top of the stairs before making a detour into the studio to look at the collection of photographs Spook had pinned onto the noticeboard, seeking reassurance that they hadn’t all grown old.
None of them looked any different really. A little thinner, a little more worn around the eyes, but the last few months had been hard on them all.
Xane traced the outline of his former lover and best friend since childhood. It still hadn’t properly sunk in that Steve was gone. He might know it, but he still expected to see him whenever he glanced towards the drums on stage, or when they were all gathered around the table downstairs.
Steve, he realised, was the last person he’d made breakfast for. Two … no, three days before the bastard had run off and married Elspeth behind Xane’s back.
Maybe cooking breakfast was an ill omen, and he ought to about-turn, go back to bed and appease Dani by telling her he’d have Cave Troll stop somewhere en route where they could grab take-out.
‘How long were you together?’ Luthor surprised him, emerging from underneath a pile of coats and blankets on the sofa in the corner. He wasn’t exactly the person Xane wanted to see right now, or be alone with, given how awkwardly things had ended between them yesterday. On the other hand, it was kind of nice to have someone ask him about Steve. It wasn’t as if anyone else – bar perhaps Elspeth, and that was just awkward – was up for a conversation about him.
‘Eighteen months, but we’d known each other for ever.’
Luthor propped himself up on his elbows, inadvertently revealing that he didn’t have a lot on. For someone who’d spent the night on a sofa, he looked far too good and far too sprightly. Xane prayed he did have underwear on, because while his brain still said that two naked men in a room were a happy prelude to some fun, he also realised it could prove disastrous. It’d been awkward enough when Dani found them showering in the same block yesterday. Being naked together in a mini recording studio wouldn’t be so easy to explain.
‘It must have been good,’ Luthor remarked. He continued to watch Xane’s every movement from behind his sweeping fringe of hair.
It was. It had been. Xane shook his head. ‘It was fucked up. I wanted him. He didn’t want me. He wanted Elspeth, but she was officially dating me, but only because she wanted him. I suppose I ought to have bowed out gracefully the moment I realised I was the main impediment, but I guess I’m a selfish
bugger.’
‘I’m amazed it didn’t blow up in your faces after a fortnight. Eighteen months is longer than some marriages.’
It was far longer than Steve and Elspeth’s commitment to each other had lasted. That hadn’t even reached eight days. ‘Yeah, well, it’s amazing how long you can string something out when you refuse to acknowledge reality.’ He scratched his head, wondering why he was still here having this conversation, and yet seemingly incapable of shutting up and walking away. ‘We never talked. Never discussed what we were doing or where we were going. We just were. And, even then, the only place it made sense was in the bedroom.’
‘Let me guess, you spent most of your time there.’ Luthor pushed off the rest of the covers and rose so that he could look at the photographs too.
He had knee-length shorts on. Thank God, he had shorts on, because he had a fucking hot body that was ripped to perfection.
Xane deliberately averted his gaze. He had a very hot girlfriend waiting in bed for him only a few metres away, who was probably wondering if he’d managed to identify the cooker yet.
Luthor stood far too bloody close.
‘You all look a darn sight happier back then.’ Luthor tapped a snap of the band from around the time they’d made it big.
‘Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving.’ Sure they were all grinning in the picture, but he’d been a complete mess on the inside, and he’d been fucking at least three or four random strangers a day. Maybe more. Lord only knows how he’d avoided contracting something unpleasant.
‘You know it didn’t mean anything, don’t you? I mean what happened in Sölvesborg.’ That wasn’t entirely true, but maybe it was the solution to the untenable situation he was currently in. He couldn’t trust himself not to do something stupid, so maybe he needed to push Luthor away by turning their past into something inconsequential. ‘I’m an addict. Rehab got it under control.’ That and a stable relationship. Huh! Yeah, right. He, Steve and Elspeth had never been remotely stable. They’d been the source of all crazy. ‘What I’m saying is that when pretty things walk up and offer themselves to me, I find it hard to resist, and you are and were very pretty. But let’s not pretend I was ever looking for more than a quick fix. Luthor, I’ve found the person I want to be with and that’s Dani.’
Come Together Page 25