"Shit," I said, missing it.
She was coughing and spluttering and her face was worn with fear as tears streamed down her face. With time against me, I swung again, and this time my feet connected with the ledge.
"Quick, give me your hand," I shouted. She leant over the balcony, stretching her arm towards me as far as she could, and I grabbed her, still holding onto the drainpipe. With sweat pouring off me, I counted out loud: "one…two…three", and let go of the drainpipe. She pulled me towards her and I grabbed the balcony rail with my fingertips, pulling myself onto it. I tried to calm her down — she was hysterical — but the flames were minutes away from engulfing us both.
"It's okay," I said. "I've got you. But we need to get out of here".
The flames were getting closer and the heat and smoke was unbearable.
"Look," I said. "Just do what I say, okay?"
She nodded her head, her face smudged with tears and smoke.
I climbed over the balcony rail and stood on the ledge.
"Okay, get on my back, NOW."
Thankfully she was small — only about five feet tall — and weighed next to nothing. She climbed over the rail and onto my back, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms firmly around my neck. With my right hand gripping the balcony rail I leaned and stretched as far as I could and managed to grab the drainpipe with my left hand, balancing my foot on one of the wall brackets. I looked down. There I was, holding onto a balcony and a drainpipe with a woman on my back, thirty feet from safety with a raging fire just a stone's throw away. If only Rosa could see me now, I thought.
"Shit, Rosa!" I said out loud. What the fuck was I doing?
"Hold on tight," I told her, "and don't let go!" I took a deep breath and with as much strength as I could muster, I let go of the rail and pushed myself towards the drainpipe. When we thumped against the wall, she tightened her grip around me.
"You okay?" I asked, barely able to talk.
"Yes," she muffled, with her wet face buried deep into my neck.
Each step down was accompanied by a slip as we descended the drainpipe, which was now hanging precariously off the wall. Nearing the bottom I lost my grip, and we fell the last couple of feet, landing on the grass. But we were safe, and I lay there in silence, staring at the flames licking out of her balcony doors thirty feet above.
Did I just do what I think I did?
She was overwhelmed and tears of relief rolled down her cheeks. Wiping her eyes and nose with the back of her hand, she sat up.
"Thank you so much," she sobbed. "My god, that was so brave. Are you okay?"
I continued to lie on the grass, staring at the sky and contemplating what I'd done.
"I'm fine," I told her. "And you're welcome." I shook my head, laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"Well, I couldn't let you die, could I?"
She laughed too, but it was nervously. She knew how close she had come; how close we'd both come.
I stood up, dusted myself down and fumbled in my back pocket to make sure my passport was still intact.
"Come on," I said. "One more bit of climbing to do and then I'll take you to the paramedics for a once over.
I put my hands around her tiny waist and lifted her up so she could reach the top of the wall. I was right behind her and forced myself over, dropping down on the other side. She jumped down, steadying herself on me as she landed, and we walked slowly to the front of the hotel.
The scene was as I'd left it: police trying to hold back the hordes of people still waiting to find their loved ones and television crews and reporters filming the scene. The hotel was still ablaze but the fire-fighters had managed to get the majority of the ground floor under control. They were still on their knees, hoses wrapped around their arms and chests, dousing the remaining flames in the doorway.
I escorted the woman to an ambulance and a paramedic sat her down on the back step, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders. As he checked her over, I stepped away.
Even though what I'd just done could have cost me my life, my body and soul felt alive. Adrenaline rushed through me and my veins protruded like baby snakes between the tendons under my skin. I paced around, unable to settle, back and forth behind the ambulance. Glancing towards the front of the hotel, I saw some of the fire-fighters now on their feet, making their way into the building. My heart was thumping and the thrill and adventure of it all was all I could think about. I started to make my way across the grass but then heard her voice.
"Hey, they're taking me to the hospital."
Turning around, I saw the young woman's head peering out between the rear doors of the ambulance.
"You'll be fine," I said. "You're in good hands now."
"I just wanted to say thanks again. I'll never forget what you did."
"It's no problem," I told her.
The paramedic moved to close the doors, but the woman put her hand out, stopping him.
"What's your name?" she asked, smiling.
"Dave. What's yours?"
"Debbie," she said. "I really can't thank you enough. You saved my life."
I smiled at her as the doors closed. The paramedic thumped the back of the vehicle with his fist and with that, the sirens burst into life. Debbie was on her way to the hospital, safe and sound.
I should have gone with her, or at the very least, walked away, but the feeling of pride swelled in my chest. There I was on what looked like a movie set and I felt like James Bond — a hero of mine in my younger days. But this wasn't a movie, it was fucking real.
All thoughts of Rosa completely disappeared and the only thing in my mind was my one act of heroism. And I wanted more.
Without thinking of the repercussions, I began my journey towards the building.
The scenes that followed will live with me forever.
PARALYSED
With the ambulance siren receding in the distance and Debbie safely on her way to the hospital, I nervously made my way to the hotel entrance. Every stride I took was with trepidation, my thoughts telling me to keep away. But I continued. Injured people lay on the grass with oxygen masks covering their shocked and frightened faces; woollen blankets had been wrapped around their shoulders, protecting them from the early morning chill. I walked past them and stepped cautiously into the building. Black smoke swirled above me and I covered my eyes with my left arm, holding my right out in front of me to find my way. And that's when it hit me…just then, that very second.
What the fucking hell am I doing?
But it was too late to turn back. The adrenaline had set in and I could feel it running through my veins. My blood pulsated and pumped through my body but I froze for a moment, looking around at the hotel guests. They were scared out of their skin, crying and coughing, their faces hollow and vacant and their eyes wide open in fear. I watched as they were led outside to safety with their arms slumped over the shoulders of the emergency crew. It spurred me on.
My pace quickened and I made my way through the foyer to the stairs. Still drunk, I stumbled over the first few steps of the curving marble stairway, steadied myself and clambered up to the first floor. Two firemen ran past me as I turned right along the first floor corridor. Above me, small wooden beams began to peel away from the ceiling and smoke leaked through the gaps they left behind. By reflex, I ducked down several times to avoid being hit as I ran through the corridor, stopping at each room for any sign of people, any sign of life. I banged my fist on each door with my shirt partially covering my face to protect me from the smoke.
"Is anybody in there?" I yelled. "Can anybody hear me?"
There was nothing. Silence. Not a fucking sound.
Further down the corridor and shadowed by the smoke, I saw someone; an elderly man wearing a dressing gown open to the waist, crawling on his hands and knees out of his room. He was facing the floor and clutching his chest as he coughed uncontrollably.
"Please help me! I can't breathe."
I raced towards h
im.
"My eyes… I can't see… help me!" he said, gasping for air. His dishevelled hair covered most of his face but when he lifted his head I saw the terrified gaze in his weeping and bloodshot eyes. They bore into me, as wide as saucers, from the thinness of his frightened face. With my own watering eyes trying to focus, I knelt down beside him, held his head in my arms and brushed his hair away from his face.
"I've got you," I told him. "Don't worry, I'll get you out."
He stuttered incoherently between sobs as his eyes filled with tears and fell down his ashen face. I pulled the dressing gown cord tighter around his waist and clasped my hand under his armpit.
"Is there anyone else in there?"
I tried to look inside the room, but couldn't see. His head was flopping around as if he had no neck bones and as I lifted his limp body from the floor, the urgency pervaded me.
"Sir, is there anyone else in the fucking room?"
"No. Just me… just me," he sobbed, grabbing hold of my shirt.
Taking hold of his arm and wrapping it around my shoulders whilst I held on to his waist, he lifted his head. Frightened and scared, he looked straight through me, his eyes filled with terror. Like a rabbit caught in headlights, he knew he was mere moments away from death.
"I've got you," I said. "Now walk with me and I'll get you out of here, okay?"
"Yes. Thank you… thank you."
Struggling with his dead weight prevented me from moving as quickly as I wanted. He was a heavy man but I mustered enough strength from within — from somewhere — to carry him down the corridor. The sound of splintering wood emanated from above and I looked to make sure we weren't about to be hit by any falling beams. We turned left, back towards the staircase, and for a second I lost my footing and stumbled down the first few steps.
"I can't breathe," he gasped. "I can't breathe."
I tried to calm him down, holding onto the wall for support.
"We're nearly there okay? Come on, just a few more steps."
Several firemen loaded with breathing apparatus and other equipment passed us on the stairs going to the upper floors.
"Look. Look down there, see? Come on, it's not far now," I said, nodding towards the direction of the exit. "One more step, that's good… well done, only a few more feet."
The foyer floor was a collage of footprints — blackened boots and bare feet caught in a freeze-frame, telling the story of those who had fled across the once pearly- white tiles.
"Come on… last few feet and we're safe," I said, my voice becoming hoarser by the second from the intake of smoke.
Finally we reached the door.
Once outside I laid him gently on the grass, damp from the early morning dew. He immediately fell into convulsive bursts of weeping, coughing and spluttering as tears rolled down his cheeks. A female paramedic rushed over, wrapped a blanket around him and placed an oxygen mask over his face. I watched him, his eyes growing wider with each intake of breath he took, and I sat beside him, taking his hand in mine. For a big man he had small hands.
"Thank you," he mouthed through the mask, his voice barely a whisper.
"It's okay, it's okay," I told him, trying to catch my breath.
I blew out air from my dry, tasteless mouth and spread my arms out either side of me. Closing my eyes, I began to rock back and forth, my head a tangled mash of thoughts. Moments later, when I heard a deep, throaty laugh, I turned to look at him. Hot air had built up inside his mask and his kind, green eyes had softened.
"You saved my life," he croaked, pulling the mask away from his face. "How can I ever thank you?"
"You just did." I said, gently patting him on his back.
Wishing him well I stood up, ran my hand over my back pocket to check that my passport was still there, picked up a small bottle of water from the paramedic and walked away. As I twisted off the lid and clamped my mouth around the bottle, I turned around and smiled. He was being helped on to the back of the ambulance looking considerably better than he had ten minutes earlier. Taking small sips of water as if each one were my last, I watched as it sped off into the dawn.
That should have been it for me; time to move on, to go back to Rosa. I stared at the hotel — now reduced to little flickers of flames — and thought of what I'd done. I don't know if it was madness or stupidity, the lingering effects of the alcohol or the pride swelling in my chest. Perhaps it was a combination of them all. I'd saved two lives and that should have been enough, but it wasn't. I wanted more. Inhaling deeply and filling my lungs with the fresh morning air, I went back inside.
There was still a lingering hint of smoke sweeping around as I entered the foyer. Emergency crews were assisting people who were staggering and limping out of the hotel and I dashed past them and up the stairs, leaping over the last step to the first floor. I ran along the corridor stopping at each room to hammer on the door.
"Hello? Is anyone in there?"
There was no answer; no reply from any of them. I raced up another flight of stairs to the second floor and as I came to the top a policeman was there, on his way down, helping an injured woman to safety. His eyes fixed on mine with a prolonged stare that unnerved me and then, a second or two later, he carried on his way.
What the fuck was that about? I thought to myself.
I turned right onto the corridor and suddenly, as if I'd hit a brick wall, I stopped dead in my tracks. The blood drained from my face as a scene so horrific stretched out before me. I stumbled, open mouthed, and overcome with shock, fell back against the wall.
"Jesus Christ!" I said out loud.
Every muscle in my body stiffened — I literally couldn't move; I was paralysed with fear. There were three burnt, charred bodies; two female, both in the foetal position, their eyes wide open and their mouths screaming in silence, and one man, on his back, naked, his arms spread out by his side with his face to the right staring directly at me. There was no resemblance of the life that would have exuded from them only hours earlier. I had never seen a dead body before but never could I have imagined this. The expressions on their faces, scorched with fright from the terror they would have suffered, were horrific. An incredible sadness suddenly struck me and as tears filled my eyes I started to shake uncontrollably. I heaved, vomiting violently on the floor, unable to take in what I was seeing. I wiped my mouth with my shirt, took a huge deep breath as I tried to compose myself and then stepped over the bodies, looking straight ahead, determined to see if anyone else was alive.
I went from room to room, passing small pockets of flames that were still alive in the corridor, unable to get the bodies out of my mind. I came to room 267. The door was ajar and I kicked it open, walked inside and ran my hand along the walls, fumbling for a light-switch. I strained my ears for any sound, but heard nothing. Smoke still lingered above me as I took a few steps forward.
"Hello?" I called. "Is anyone in here?"
There was no answer. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light of the room I called again, this time with my hands around my mouth.
"Hello can anyone hear me?"
My voice bounced around the walls and returned nothing but a mocking echo. I turned to leave but out of the corner of my eye I noticed a large pile of loose change — a pyramid of coins a few feet away on the bedside table. I walked over and without even thinking, I gathered them up in two handfuls and stuffed them into my front pockets. Beside the digital alarm clock was a passport. I picked it up and flicked through it — an English name, the photo of a woman, around fifty, attractive with dark hair. I hoped she had gotten out okay. Tossing the passport back on the table, it disturbed two credit cards which lay to the right of a small lamp. I can still remember the smoke damaged, rose patterned shade that covered it. With my eyes fixed on the cards, I noticed that the smoke was rapidly surrounding me and I reacted without a thought. I picked up the cards and put them in my back pocket. Immediately I felt ashamed, but my mind was so mixed up with emotions and the desperation of the situation that
I didn't think of anyone or anything. I didn't think of the consequences. Shamefully, I hurried out of the room and closed the door behind me without looking back.
Running down the corridor I considered going to the third floor but I couldn't go on, it was impossible. My chest felt like it was on fire and my lungs were about to explode. I had to get out. I continued running until the three dead bodies appeared in front of me again. I stopped, sickened. With my eyes looking straight ahead I held my breath as I stepped over them again. The smoke was not as thick but the corridor was dark, so stretching both my arms out in front of me I navigated my way down the two flights of stairs. I stumbled and fell down the last remaining marble steps with some coins and one of the cards spilling out of my pocket and rolling across the floor. I left the coins but picked up the card, shoving it into my front right pocket. I pulled myself up and ran towards the exit, slipping and sliding on the marble floor until finally, out of the hotel, I collapsed onto the grass.
I took heavy deep breaths, opening my mouth wide to get the fresh air circulating around my lungs. My head was spinning but the sensation of the air entering my body felt amazing. Closing my eyes, I wiped the sweat from my face with my shirt sleeve, the images of the charred bodies flooding back to haunt me. All I could picture was their faces staring back at me, their mouths hanging open and their eyes fixed in a deadened stare. The thought that they were someone's parent, someone's child, someone's brother or sister was too much to bear. Tears streamed from my eyes as the sadness overwhelmed me and I lay there a while, crying for the people I had never known and for the people who would never see them again.
The sun peeked out from the early morning clouds, warming my face and exposing the devastation around me. I lifted my aching body from the ground and stood up. There were still people — injured people — around the grounds of the hotel in need of help, so I walked back towards the front of the building. The coins in my pockets were heavy and uncomfortable so I scooped them out and placed them under a large grey stone in the rockery area of the hotel garden to collect later. I looked around at people crying and hugging their loved ones. Survivors with blankets around their shoulders were being ushered into the backs of ambulances and sadly, relatives were still searching, desperately hoping for their loved ones to come out alive. Reporters and their TV crews were preparing for the morning news bulletins.
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