by London Casey
“No, Gavin,” Olivia said. “I don’t want to go.”
“What?”
“I’m here. I’ll help. I don’t mind.”
“Olivia, I don’t know what you’re trying to do here…”
“Nothing,” she said. “I can’t leave knowing this is happening. And you’re alone in this, Gavin.”
“I’m not alone. I have Jesse.”
I pointed to the dog and he was asleep.
My point didn’t get across at all.
“What are you going to tell Ava?”
“Oh, the usual,” I said with a sigh. “That her mother got the stomach bug again.”
“Again?”
I leaned toward Olivia and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”
I grabbed my keys and went to my truck. I picked up Ava, went to Nikki’s apartment to get some clothes for Ava and for Nikki, and then I swung by and got some pizza. Each time I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Ava in her car seat, my heart and stomach twisted and felt sick.
Nikki was right. There was so much to tell Ava. So much Ava needed to learn. Needed to understand. Her little world right now was consumed by the alphabet, coloring, and her favorite cartoons. But on the horizon was her innocence getting shattered and a pain she would never understand.
And it just wasn’t fucking right.
I went to the garage for a few minutes to just check on things.
Things had been smooth while I was gone, which was nice. I checked the receipts, the bank deposit, did a little math in my head, and laughed at myself, realizing how fucked I was.
I punched my desk, lied to Ava and told her there was a bug on the desk, and then I put her back into the truck and went home.
The couch was empty.
Olivia was walking down the stairs.
“Hey Ava,” Olivia said.
“Hello,” Ava said.
“You remember my friend, Olivia?” I asked Ava. “She was leaving when you got here last time.”
“In the morning,” Ava said.
“Yes. She had to go to work. She works in the city.”
“In a tall building?” Ava asked.
“Super tall building,” Olivia said.
“Where’s Mommy?” Ava asked me.
“She’s upstairs in bed,” Olivia said so gently. “She has a tummy ache. So she’s resting. How about we eat and then we can go check on her. Together.”
Ava nodded. Then she looked up at me. “She’s a pretty doctor.”
I laughed.
Goddammit, I needed the laugh.
Olivia laughed too.
We didn’t even bother to correct Ava.
Two hours later, it was dark.
We ate pizza, Ava drank apple juice, and she was on her last few minutes of cartoons. I gave her a bath, got her dressed in PJ’s, and let her kiss Nikki goodnight. Nikki didn’t even move. Which was heartbreaking in itself.
When cartoons were over, I scooped a half asleep Ava off the couch and carried her to bed. The old house had five bedrooms. I had no business having a house that big, but it was my house. I took care of it. I loved it. And I never thought the bedrooms would come in handy like they were. Nikki in a bedroom. Ava had her own bedroom, of course. Her own bed, dresser, decorations. Anything to make her feel comfortable when she crashed at Uncle Gavin’s house.
And then I had Olivia… if she stayed the night… where was she going to sleep…
“Will you read to me?” Ava asked.
I put her down into the bed and turned on a nightlight for her. I grabbed a book off the little bookshelf I built for her room.
I sat on the floor with my back to the nightstand and read her a bedtime story.
She fell asleep two pages into it but I kept reading. She’d been cheated by so much in life already and didn’t know about it. So I wasn’t going to cheat her out of a story, even if it was one I read to her fifty times already.
When I finally got downstairs, I couldn’t find Olivia.
For a second I thought she was gone. Not that I could blame her. Anyone who saw flashes of my reality would be smart to run like hell.
But then I saw a flicker of a flame. A lighter flame. Coming from out back.
I walked to the bay window in the dining room and watched as Olivia tried to start a fire. Crouching in front of the fire pit with a bunch of logs stacked up. And flicking a small lighter, holding the flame to the logs.
I laughed, crossing my arms, shaking my head.
This woman was… something.
I never had someone barge into my life like she did. And the craziest part of the entire thing?
I didn’t mind it at all.
After a quick lesson in fire starting, I got the fire going and sat back in a chair and grabbed a cold beer. I lit up a smoke and took a deep drag and growled as I exhaled that first breath.
I looked over at Olivia and still couldn’t believe she was still there.
“You know, my mother died from cancer,” she said.
I looked at the cigarette and then flicked it into the fire. “Damn, darling. That’s terrible.”
“I don’t know why I blurted that out.”
“I’m sorry that happened. How old were you?”
“Too young to really remember anything,” she said. “It was some really rare form of cancer. Not because of smoking.”
“Not that smoking is good for you though,” I said.
“Everyone needs a vice.”
“That they do,” I said.
“I wasn’t saying that to get you to not smoke, Gavin. I just… I don’t know. My family isn’t perfect either.”
I laughed. “Well, my family consists of Nikki and Ava. And Ava is the only one by blood.”
“That means Nikki had Ava with your-”
“I love Nikki,” I said. “I know what I did today was wrong. Fucked up. But I couldn’t stomach seeing her in cuffs and being taken to jail.”
“I’m not judging you, Gavin.”
“But I am. I judge myself all the time.”
“Well, you shouldn’t. You’re doing just fine.”
“Right.”
Then there was silence. Not the kind I really welcomed but the kind where I debated on what my next move would be. Steer toward flirting or let this shit keep getting deeper.
“Her name was Abigail,” Olivia finally said.
“Excuse me?”
“Who I was talking about the other night. Abigail.”
“Relative?”
“No. That’s the thing. She had cancer. She was seven years old. Lived in a children’s hospital until she…” Olivia looked down. “I was doing some consulting work at the hospital when I met her. I was just drawn to her. It sounds pretty unfair since there are so many sick kids in the hospital, but I was just drawn to her. She was beautiful, Gavin. Even with all her hair gone… it didn’t even matter to her. I break a nail and think everyone will stare at it for days because I’m supposed to be perfect, you know?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Who thinks you’re supposed to be perfect?”
Olivia quickly stood up. “Shit. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
She started to walk away. I watched as she took her phone out of her pocket.
Oh, hell no, darling.
I jumped and went after her.
My hand cupped over her hand and I stripped the phone away from her. “What is this? You want to leave now? Why? What are you afraid of me finding out, huh?”
She looked up at me. “I got too close to Abigail. I didn’t know what I was getting into with her. And I had an event at the hospital again so I bought her some things she was asking about. I wanted to surprise her. I thought I could just bring that smile to her face again, you know? The last time I was there the doctors were hopeful. But of course they’re hopeful. They have to be. You have to be positive in that environment. They were eager to get some treatments done and get her home. She never got to go home, Gavin. And I didn’t know that. I walked right int
o the room… and it was empty. She was gone. Everything about her was gone. And the thing was… I stood there holding a bag for her. And she was gone. It was like getting punched two times in the stomach. Once because Abigail was gone. Twice because I knew that room would be used again. Because life…”
I put my hands to Olivia’s face. My right thumb ran along her bottom lip. “I get it, darling. I get it. Life… I get it…”
I felt her damn near trembling against my touch.
The fire let out a pop and sparks danced into the night.
And that’s when I finally got my chance to actually kiss her.
Nine
Some of the Truth
(Gavin)
Her lips were sweeter than the best whiskey I ever tasted. Her skin was softer than anything I had ever felt in my life. When my fingertips touched her hair, there was a smell released into the air, like a flower spitting nectar, something fruity, but also something that just made my nose tingle and it shot through my entire damn body.
I stood there and kept kissing her. Our lips smacking together, our tongues wrestling as Olivia showed me she was willing to submit but not all the way. Which was a fucking wild turn on. I loved when a woman put up a little fight and knew how to push back at my stubborn ass.
Yet I really knew nothing about her.
I felt her hands grab at the front pockets of my jeans and pull me against her. I turned her and pinned her against the table out on the stone patio. The table stood no chance to what I had in mind and quickly moved, making a loud scratching sound. I broke the kiss as Jesse popped his head up to look around. He put his head back down and covered his eyes with a paw.
Good boy.
My left hand swooped down and I grabbed Olivia by the ass and pulled her tight against me again. Her leg went around me as she started to slide down my body a little. Feeling her body move like that brought me to life. I was throbbing in my jeans and had the damnest urge to just toss her to the patio and see how fucking wild she really wanted to get.
As I turned her, she put her hands to my shirt and gave a little push.
I was an honest gentleman as I broke away from her, but my hands balled up into tight fists, not wanting to fight the urges.
“Gavin…”
“Olivia…”
She backed up a little and stood next to the fire. The flames danced shadows against her body. I felt the hesitation coming off her.
I walked toward her and playfully moved around her to grab my drink. I then sat back down in my chair and stuck my feet out. I was so damn uncomfortable in my jeans it wasn’t even fucking funny. But I was going to play this one the way I wanted to.
Olivia stepped behind me and put her hands to my shoulders. I felt her touching, exploring, wanting to lose the battle to temptation.
“Gavin… are you happy here?”
“Here? Right now?” I looked back and up at her. “I was happier about a minute ago.”
She smiled. “I mean… with all of this. Your life. Your house. Town. Business.”
“Look, darling, I don’t know what you’re looking for out of me. You live a different lifestyle than I do. It’s obvious. You’re a business consultant so you probably go for results. Growth. I get that. Me? I got ground under my feet. It’s better than my feet being underground. Get it?”
She nodded. “I wish I could be like that.”
I reached back and took her by the hand. I pulled her around and with a quick move I had her on my lap. She turned sideways a little and goddamn if she didn’t fit against me like a piece of a puzzle.
It was instant.
It was… perfect.
So perfect I turned my head to let out a breath and calm the feeling inside my stomach.
“There,” I whispered. “You’re doing it. Watch the fire burn. Forget about the world. Just be here.”
Olivia put her head against my chest. I felt her nose touch my neck a few times, making me wonder if she was smelling me.
It was a special moment to me. A moment that I had been wanting for a long damn time.
I looked over to the chair where Olivia had been sitting and I knew that chair should have been occupied. By Luke. With Nikki curled up on his lap.
The way it should have been.
I looked up to the sky and blinked, chasing away the damn tears.
In that moment, Olivia didn’t know she was saving me.
I carried her to the couch and placed her down. Then I sat in the chair. It was the same damn thing as last time. Only without being drunk, puking, and almost stripping in front of me. Hell, even Jesse gave Olivia the nod of approval. The dog plopped down in front of the couch. That was his version of protection.
I liked Olivia too. I just wanted to know why she gave a shit about me and the town. And why she wanted to know about Luke so much. Some of that was just still raw and hard to talk about. Especially with Nikki and Ava upstairs sleeping.
I checked on them both.
Nikki hadn’t moved an inch, her face on the edge of the bed, almost hanging over the bathroom trashcan. And little sweet Ava was curled up in her blankets, lost in a world where fairy tales were real, and so were monsters, but someone would always be there to kill the monsters.
But what if the monsters sometimes won…?
I touched Ava’s head and went downstairs.
As I walked by Jesse he gave out a little growl. The last time that damn dog growled at me was when he got a piece of steak off the grill and I tried to get it back. And that was two years ago.
He really liked Olivia.
I crashed to the chair again and shut my eyes.
It was lights out, but I wondered just what in the hell was going to happen next.
The next time I opened my eyes I smelled coffee and I heard the yell of a screeching voice on TV.
My eyes shot open.
Ava was sitting on the couch, a blanket on her lap. She looked at me and smiled. Then she turned her head and yelled, “Uncle Gavin is awake!”
“Uncle Gavin is awake,” I said as I pushed myself from the chair. “Look at me go.”
Ava let out a little giggle.
I walked by the couch and jumped over it and plopped right next to her. I threw an arm around her and started to tickle her. She let out a scream as she laughed.
“How did you sleep?”
“Okay. Not quite like my bed.”
“Not quite?” I asked.
Ava smiled. “You asked.”
“That I did.”
I looked at the TV screen. I had no idea what the hell was going on with the cartoon. Or any of the cartoons anymore. What happened to the good old days when cartoon characters used to smoke, blow shit up with TNT, and strangle each other? Was that really so wrong?
I laughed and kissed the top of Ava’s head. “Where’s your mother?”
“In the kitchen. With the girl from the couch. The doctor. Hey, does she live on your couch?”
“No,” I said.
I hurried to get to the kitchen.
Just before I could cross into the kitchen, I heard and saw them.
Nikki standing at the counter, holding a coffee mug. My pancake griddle plugged in with eight pancakes on it. Olivia with a coffee mug of her own.
“He forever works,” Nikki said. “And who can blame him? Look what I did. People like me just drag him down sometimes.”
“Family,” Olivia said. “Right? That’s what they’re there for.”
“I hope you don’t judge me too much.”
“I would never. I think we’re all entitled to bad days and moments.”
“Amen to that,” Nikki said and lifted her mug.
“Blessed morning to you all,” I said, stepping into the kitchen. “Can someone poureth me a cupeth of coffee?”
Nikki looked at me and tilted her head. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” Olivia said.
“I see everyone is alive and well. That’s a good thing.” I went to Nikki and smiled. “
How’s your head?”
“Fine. I feel fine.”
“Do you?” I yelled.
Nikki flinched. “What the hell, Gav?”
“You got a hangover that’s going to last days.”
“Blah, blah,” Nikki said. “Good thing I have today off.”
“You do? Why?”
“I just do?”
“Did you get fired?”
“Gavin,” Olivia said. “How’d you sleep?”
I looked back and forth between the two of them. I was outnumbered.
I backed off Nikki for the moment.
“So, Olivia, what are you doing today?” I asked with a smile.
“I have to go to work,” she said. “I have to leave soon.”
“Back to the big bad city,” I said.
“I wish I lived in the city,” Nikki said. “A change of pace and view.”
“Be careful,” Olivia said. “I wish I lived here.” Then she looked at me. “I mean, you know, like this town.”
“Right,” I said. “Right.”
I walked to the griddle and took control, flipping the pancakes.
Olivia left the kitchen to get the table ready.
“Hey,” Nikki whispered. “I like her. She’s…”
“Let it go, Nik,” I whispered back.
“Why? What’s going on with you two?”
I raised an eyebrow and looked at Nikki. “I could ask the same about you.”
She lowered her head. “I’m so sorry, Gav. I just had a really bad day. I stopped by the shop for a minute and you weren’t there. I felt alone. I felt…”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I got your back.”
Nikki touched my arm. “You always have my back. I love you, Gavin.”
She bit her bottom lip and it left me a little uneasy.
Olivia came back into the kitchen and I was ready to plate the breakfast.
Nikki went to get Ava and I turned to face Olivia.
“Good morning,” she said.
“Same to you, darling.”
“Sorry for crashing last night.”
“I didn’t mind.”
“I hope I didn’t lead you on or…”
“Nope,” I said. “I always have people sleepover and cuddle up in my arms outside and then carry them to the couch. It’s sort of my hobby.”