We finally made our way to our section. I got excited when I saw the souvenir booth but was bummed out that it would have to wait until later. I placed my foot on the top stair to make our way down to our seats. The arena went black and the music started as you were listening to the introduction to the actual television show on Tuesday night. The timing was impeccable and we made it!
Sitting in our fabulous seats, all of ten feet from the stage, the music was still playing and I got a rush through my body. I leaned over to Bryce and said, “Can you actually picture what it would be like sitting on the set of this show as they are filming?”
Michael Sarver was the first to perform. The two things that I remember about him most was his friendliness to the crowd and a single comment that he made to the fans. “Is there someone here who you love tonight?” The entire place erupted and I thought, it’s not me this year. Although that connection was absent, I had a great fondness for at least four of them whom I was very excited to see perform.
As Meghan Joy entered with a hot pink number and shoes higher than Mount Washington, I could not deny her beauty. However, she had absolutely no stage presence and could not walk in the shoes.
I could not even bring myself to clap for her.
I feel bad for being so anti-Meghan, but I can’t seem to get by her erratic behavior on the show. I saw an interview after she was eliminated and she still wasn’t getting it. The judges were not upset with her comment regarding not caring about what Simon had said. It was her complete attitude about the elimination and how she almost made a joke of it with her funny faces and so on. Most contestants are very nervous and serious on the elimination show because they do not want to go home. It is an opportunity for a career that most are hoping for, the mere reason for trying out for the show to begin with. It was like she made a mockery of it. Maybe it was the only way that Meghan knew how to deal with the rejection. Unfortunately, it showed her immaturity, it was not good for the show and it turned off viewers.
It would not be surprising to me if it even had an effect on her fellow contestants. She was basically making a joke of an opportunity from which they were all hoping to make a career.
Performances by Anoop “Dogg” Desai and Lil Rounds were both solid along with Scott Macintyre who was a bit outshined by Matt Giraud, a definite showman on stage. As he was singing “Hard to Handle,” he owned that piano on his feet. It was quite impressive but my first thought was, Top Gun, Maverick and Goose, and “Great Balls of Fire.”
During the intermission Bryce went to the men’s room and told me to get in line for food. As I turned and spotted the souvenirs once again, I thought to myself, but honey, there is nobody in that line right now. I must take the path less traveled by the hungry because the program and the t-shirt were much more important than eating at that very moment. I also bought an 8 x 10 of Adam Lambert for my friend Bonnie.
After inhaling a hot dog, we returned to our seats for the top four, and my four favorites. As I was somewhat partial to Danny Gokey, I enjoyed Allison and Kris and was just purely excited to see a live performance by Adam.
One of my favorite examples of an ‘idol crush’ all night was what I saw when Allison Iraheta took the stage. There was a little boy about three rows down from us who had to be about thirteen years old. He was trying desperately to get her attention. He had purchased her 8x10 photo at the souvenir booth and was holding it up every moment she was on stage. The poor little man’s arms must have been ready to fall off by the time he put it down. I felt so bad for him because he just wanted her to notice him. A simple wave probably would have made his night. In fairness to Allison, she was concentrating on her performance and she probably couldn’t see past a certain point with the lighting.
Allison had a great performance. My favorite was “Cry Baby,” which I was hoping she would perform because it was one of my favorite performances by her on the show. I downloaded that song on iTunes and I listen to it all the time. Before her last song, she got the crowd prepared for Danny, Adam and Kris. The room erupted and no doubt about it, everyone was awaiting the performances of all three. They were definitely the most loved trio of the season.
As the music blared and a loud voice said, “Number three, Danny Gokey”, the room again exploded with screams and applause. Danny was my favorite all season. I always seemed to think that he had a little bit of a Robert Downey, Jr. thing going on. I do still believe that the title should have gone to Adam. I think it should have been Kris at three, Danny at two and Adam at number one. Oh well, it is what it is.
Danny came on stage wearing a black jacket over a red button down shirt with jeans, sporting black boots and of course, a different pair of glasses, which became his trademark. Halfway through his set, he dropped the jacket exposing the red button down short sleeved fitted shirt which drew my attention to his arms, which was something I never had noticed before. Holy crap, Danny Gokey was buff. I have to say that was a complete turn on for me. What was ironic is I never really notice things like that, but oh, I did.
Out of all the contestants, Danny was the one who interacted the most with the fans. He actually had a message as he reminded us that the death of his wife had set him forth on this journey which was a blessing for him. He said, “Bad things are going to happen, but don’t let your dreams die.” He was very inspiring.
As Danny finished his set he formed his arms in the shape of a heart as he did the many times on the show. I wish I could have gotten a picture of that but it was so quick that I missed the opportunity.
The most exhilarating part of the night was when it was Adam’s turn to come on stage. Adam’s presence provoked excitement for everyone because people were envisioning what his performance would be like. “Number two, Adam Lambert.” The crowd was on their feet. Adam opened with, “Whole Lotta Love” and it was like someone hit the rewind button and I was experiencing the eighties all over again. The black leather suit, the smoke and the voice that went completely through you was something that I have never heard nor experienced in my entire life. Adam was in a league of his own, as Simon Cowell had said many times on the show.
Midway through his set, while performing “Mad World,” I looked around at the thousands of people holding up their cell phones in place of lighters which pointed out a definite change in the times for me personally. After his duet with Allison, “Slow Ride,” he too shed his coat. I was not sure what was going on that night with the guys and the stripping but there must have been something in the air or maybe the water.
Adam was just a born performer. As his dance moves started to get a little bit suggestive I thought to myself, “Keep it PG Adam, keep it PG.” Actually I noticed that Bryce seemed a little uncomfortable with it and I started to laugh.
“Number one, Kris Allen.” I screamed for Kris. I did not do that for anyone else. I almost felt like the audience needed to be supportive because how the hell can anyone follow Adam Lambert? Kris did the right thing in switching his instruments from acoustic guitar to piano to electric guitar and back to acoustic. He proved that he was a well rounded musician with a great voice with his own unique style. That is all he needed to do.
Kris closed with “Hey Jude,” which I loved because I too am a Beatles fan. As the whole group joined in they ended with “Don’t Stop Believin’.”
Great show, but I found that at the end the only thing I could think about was Danny Goey’s arms. Exiting the show, I think I actually left with a little Gokey crush and a little disappointed that I had not bought the 8 x 10 for myself which I came close to buying.
My excitability over Danny’s arms has become the newest thing for Bryce and I to joke about at home. As a matter of fact, I just recently sent him an email at work saying that I was having a hard time getting the cap off of a bottle of apple juice for the kids and was wondering if he could come home and ‘Gokey’ it open.
Now that the show had sadly come to an end, all we had to do was get out of Boston. Good luck! I wasn’t actu
ally comfortable until we hit the last toll and heard, “Welcome to Woosta, that’ll be a dolla twenty five.” We came home to sleeping babies who had a good time with their gramma and papa. I was excited but ready to get some sleep so that I could post my pictures and read my program the next day.
As I went to bed that night, I started to reflect on my experiences through life…my hopes, my dreams, my fears and the importance of life as it is as opposed to what we would like it to be. I thought about the dreams that I had laid to rest along with the dreams that I still have alive within me.
I think of the times where I can just sit in a room with my husband and we are able to spend time with each other even if sometimes we never have a thing to say. I think about the sound of laughter when my children are playing and the times that there is just nothing to do and that’s alright. I thanked God for the simple life that we sometimes take for granted but also for the uplifts such as a simple trip to Mohegan Sun to get away for a night or an American Idol adventure.
I also thought of the lives of the present idols. As I read my program, I took great interest in the letters to the fans. These letters made me realize that this show that I had come to love so much along with its contestants does not only inspire its viewers and followers, but also inspires its contestants themselves who are actually somewhat inspired by us fans.
Addressed as fans or even friends, which made perfect sense to me, I hung on to the inspiring words best said by Danny Gokey:
“This time on American Idol has brought so much new hope back into my life. It has allowed me to reach out once again towards my dreams in a time where all my dreams seemed to have been shattered. I hope that my journey on American Idol has helped you or inspired you to follow your hearts aspirations no matter what obstacles stand in front of you. Sometimes it can be hard work or even painful at times but in the end you’ll find out that it was worth all your efforts.”
I could not help myself.
Dear Danny,
Writing a fan letter and wondering if the person you are writing to will actually get it, read it and understand it, is a dream within itself…but through inspiration, it is worth a try.
I am 35 years young and happily married with two beautiful children. As I once dreamed of a career as a vocalist, I gave up the dream for a career I felt was more promising, a guidance counselor (now a stay at home mom).
Although it seemed a struggle, I finally felt that even though I am passionate about singing, it was not the life for me considering I don’t always like being in the limelight and that I have a family.
I have been inspired by American Idol since season two because I think it has been easier to live my dream through people like you.
You have inspired me through your strength in dealing with overcoming obstacles in your own life as well as the American Idol journey.
There are days that I still feel like something is missing in my life, which sometimes I cannot even understand. In pursuing my own American Idol dreams without the actual experience that you have lived, I began to write a book in 2003 about being a fan of American Idol and its contestants.
In the long and discouraging process of representation and publication, lately I keep your message in mind about keeping my dreams alive. I am hoping to have success with this book, not for money but for excitement and personal accomplishment. Although my voice has not yet been heard, I hope that my writing will lead to a second book on my selected idol favorites and how the American Idol journey and afterlife has affected them.
One day I hope to personally spend a day with Danny Gokey. You have been an inspiration to me and many others. I wish you the best of luck with your musical career, your ongoing courage in dealing with the loss of your wife and the hope that you will find that kind of love again sometime in your future.
Weeks later, I received a signed eight by ten of Danny Gokey, not by Danny himself, but from my friend Jodi who knew I was upset about not getting one at the show. Jodi has always been a great friend to me and has always accepted my quirkiness as an enjoyable quality.
What it all comes down to is, life is what you make of it. Whether you are trying to become a star, meet a star, or writing a book, or achieving the goals that you always wanted to reach, “Failure is not an option” as spoken by Michael Sarver.
I think there is a point in everyone’s life where there is that something which begins the realization of the reality of their dreams, whether it’s a book, a specific individual, a television show, et cetera. It’s all in the steps we take to follow those dreams through.
Then I thought to myself, what happens when there is no more American Idol? Although that will be a very sad day for me, I believe that when someone is as inspired as I have been by the television show American Idol and it’s contestants, it is easier to be motivated to seek new inspirations in the future.
I think that throughout life everybody will have their Clay Aiken, who will someday be replaced with a Jason Castro or a Danny Gokey and so on. Maybe my inspiration to be a star leading to my inspiration to meet a star has now inspired me to accomplish the goal I have had to be an aspiring author. In time, maybe new inspirations will lead to new works of art.
2009
American Idol Tour
TD Bank North Garden, Boston, MA
Kris Allen
Adam Lambert
Allison Iraheta
Matt Grand & Scott Macintyre
Matt Grand
Danny Gokey
Lil Rounds
Anoop Desai
Season 8 Top 11
Chapter 20
Berklee’s Café 939 (Live at the Red Room)
American Idol began its ninth season. Somewhere in between my favorite television host, Ellen, joining the panel of judges, my immediate appreciation for the talented Crystal Bowersox and my tiny attraction to the crooked smile of Lee Dewyze, was a performance which supplied me with the knowledge of an upcoming show featuring the reunion of Rueben and Clay.
As I quickly hit the computer and logged on to Ticketmaster, I found that they were still working on an upcoming tour schedule.
Although still a huge Clay fan and an ongoing fan of American Idol, fearing its retirement at the end of the season, life for the last couple of years has been nothing but Castromania. While I was still on the Ticketmaster site, I typed in the magic words “Jason Castro” and found to my surprise that he would be performing at Berklee’s Café 939, live at the Red Room. I immediately asked Bryce if he would take me. Of course, it was a go and I immediately ordered two tickets for this May 15th performance in Boston. I was extremely excited for this event but had also found that in these present days of idol craze and other every day events in my life that I was incredibly stressed out.
Without realizing it at the time, for a long time things that normally were hobbies in my life that I enjoyed, things that would typically make me happy, I somehow found a way to make them stressful. For example, scrapbooking had changed from a joyful and happy event to an “Oh my God I have so much to do in these albums and no time to do it.” Martial arts had taken a back seat to book submission deadlines and to top it off I ended up sick three weeks before the show, which I was also somehow stressing out about. I had not been sleeping and I had totally lost my voice due to a virus and complete exhaustion. Even though I always had my music as my very first source of relaxation, usually Jason Castro tunes, I was frustrated that I could not even sing to them.
The night of May 8th, Bryce’s 36th birthday, my friend Jodi was up from Maine to visit because she was home to spend Mothers’ Day weekend with her family. We had started to talk about what was going on in our lives and I began to realize that I had been in denial about the amount of stress that I had been allowing to take over my body and how unhealthy it was.
I began telling her how excited I was about the show but even how much more stressed out I had become about it from not having a thing to wear, still carrying an extra 10 pounds, to the possibility that
I could meet Jason due to the small venue he was playing in.
All this time it had been my dream to meet one of my American Idol crushes and now that I had this opportunity, I was not sure I wanted it. I always pictured myself meeting one of them and sitting and having a conversation with them person to person never wanting them to perceive me as the ordinary fan but someone they could be friends with. It seemed too overwhelming. I also was sick and worried about feeling nasty in the busy city, no quick way home to where I am so accustomed to being nowadays.
Jodi had been taking classes to be a life coach and was talking to me about my stress and felt that I really needed to take a step back and try to enjoy just the smallest things in life, such as a cup of coffee, not just sucking it down in the morning as I usually do, but taking a moment to actually enjoy it. She sent me an email of links, momentary sensory experiences that link us to joy, feelings of peace, safety, delight, connection and abundance. This is when I decided I needed to take her advice and pause to fully take in the things that inspire and relax me.
A couple of days before the big event, I really started to rest and relax so that I could feel good enough to go to this show which I knew would be inspiring within itself. As I started to put together something to wear, I had come to a pretty quick decision that I was not going to make a big deal about it. I wanted to be comfortable so I decided to just dress comfortable, as I have always felt that less is more.
Reaching Out to the Stars Page 12