by Mary Nixon
"Well, that concludes my list."
"The entire list?" I asked her knowing there was so much more she wasn't saying.
She approached me and mapped out my face.
"I can't believe you're not my brother." She spoke softly. "My whole life is based on secrets. So trust me, some stones are better left unturned. Once you know who I truly am, you'll never look at me the same way."
After planting kiss on my cheek, she took a step back.
"I'm going to be gone for a while. Promise me you'll be okay. Don't let hate consume you. You're fortunate enough to have both your parents. Embrace the opportunity and be happy James Lyons."
She blew me a kiss and left.
I stood in the middle of the kitchen wondering what other secret lay out there. I couldn't handle any more lies. Not in this lifetime or the next.
=================
Chapter thirty six: Reconsider
Eight months later
Tony's POV
Monaco was great.
I loved if here. Bianca was already at home and we had been working on a nursery.
We were having a son and we had even picked out a name. I had not spoken to Erma, my father or Jacob for the last eight months. Part of me missed them but my stubborn self fought against the slightest thought of a reconciliation.
I however had been doing a lot of thinking.
"Yellow is a little too bright." Bianca complained.
"Its okay for a baby. Besides, this will be the nursery for every baby we have." I added.
"How many do you want?" She asked.
"You're the one doing the heavy lifting. How many do you want?"
She chuckled softly.
"I've always wanted a big family. For now, let's say two?"
"Two it is love." I kissed her. "If not yellow, then a lime green?"
"I hate green." She muttered.
"Then white." I was running out of ideas.
"Cream. White is a little too much for a nursery."
"Cream it is."
Lately I had been agreeing with Bianca every chance I got. I didn't see a need to disagree with her especially since both of us have mastered the art of conceding defeat.
"Great. Tony?"
"Yeah?"
"About Erma."
I closed my eyes and cursed silently.
"What about her?" I asked in a bored tone.
She interlaced our fingers and leaned in to kiss me softly. All
I could do at that moment was feel. Thinking was not even an option. Age knew how to get me to commit to anything she wanted. After a long intimate kiss, she was ready to make her demands.
"Don't you miss her? She's your mother."
"I do miss her." I saw no point in lying to myself because no matter how hard I had been pretending to be okay, I was not.
My once complete family was broken. Nonno was dead, Jacob was too quiet and Erma had been tirelessly calling me. Part of me wondered whether she was making the same effort with Jacob.
"Then end the sleepless nights and make amends."
"Its not that easy."
"Try to put yourself in her shoes Tony. As much as she gave you up, she left you in Wayne"s hands. Your own biological father."
"It doesn't make up for her absence. There is no version of reality where I'll ever abandon Aidan. I wouldn't."
Aidan was the name we had settled for. I was looking forward to being a father. Jacob seemed to be natural at it and I hoped I would be a natural too. Perhaps if we were on speaking terms I would have asked him for parenting advice. He did have three children already.
"It doesn't but give her a chance Tony, please. Our son will need his family together."
No doubt he would. I walked over to the window and stood there staring at the beautiful sunny afternoon.
"I'm not sure that Jacob would want to resolve things."
I still remembered the murderous look he had had in those pale blue eyes. I had never seen him so upset and unsettled.
"Why would
you say that? A man who treated you like his brother even before he had the slightest clue about who you were to him will want to resolve this." Bianca spoke calmly. "How did you two meet?"
"We met in a boarding school in Switzerland. I was constantly being bullied and one afternoon while I was getting beat up, he intervened."
I turned to face Bianca my mind fixed on the day I had met Jacobolas Berlotelli Bale for the very first time.
"He beat the crap out of the bully. Can you believe he broke the bully's nose?"
Bianca laughed softly.
"No way!"
"Way. You should have seen it. He got suspended for about a week or so but no body ever bullied me again. They all knew I was under his protection. During his suspension, it was Bruce who watched my back."
"At what point did you meet Cole and Ferrer?"
Bianca and I had never talked about how we met our friends.
"Cole was a good boy. His parents didn't see a need to send him to a boarding school. We met up with him during summer or winter holidays. As for Ferrer, he joined our crew in college."
"You guys must be very close. It makes me wonder how this mess between you and Jacob is affecting the others."
She had a point. Naturally, Cole would never take sides. That's how he always managed to keep us in line. Bruce was always aligned to Jacob no matter what. As for Ferrer, he and I were very close. He would back me up whenever.
This grudge between Jacob and I was still under control. Neither of us had mentioned a word to the boys. Otherwise, loyalty cards would have been drawn and sides would have been picked. Maybe the reason
behind either of us not saying a word to the boys was because we hoped to resolve it sooner or later.
"Tony?"
I gazed at her and smiled.
"You're right. Jacob may want to resolve this. Tell you what." I said holding her hand. "I'll reach out. If he doesn't want to meet me halfway, I won't push."
"That's why I love you. You're a good man, a good friend, a good brother and you will be the beat father in the world."
"Cheers to that. I can't wait for Aidan to be born already. I'm going crazy out of my mind just wondering what will happen."
She sighed sadly as her face dropped.
"Are you alright love?" I asked her my hand settling on her belly.
"I'm a little scared." She spoke so quietly I barely heard her.
"What are you scared of love?" I asked.
She cast her lovely green eyes downward to her belly where she carried my son. Her hand covered my own and in that instant I felt a tear drop on my hand.
My heart ached and my breath caught. There was nothing that pained me more than seeing Bea Bianca downhearted.
"Bea, what's wrong? Tell daddy what's wrong."
"What if I can't push Aidan out? What will happen to the both of us?"
Bianca had freaked out when Keira had been unable to push the twins out. An emergency surgery had been done to get the twins out.
"You mean like what happened with Keira?"
She nodded, her eyes welled up with tears.
I leaned down and kissd away each tear. Now more than ever she needed to be around Erma. She was
good at dealing with such emotions. Besides that she had given birth to Jacob and I. She would best help my fiancée.
"I'm here. I'm right here and I will be in that delivery room with you. You can curse me all you want and I'll bear it all for you. You'll do great my little fire cracker."
She smiled slightly and that is all I needed to smile back. She didn't know it but I was equally going out of my mind with worry.
*
The Harringtons were known for their extensive possession of unimaginably expensive jewellery pieces. Some pieces were rumoured to have been owned by royalty at some point.
Each year, they threw a Charity Gala and raised money for affordable housing. This year round, I was hesitant to attend. For one, Bia
nca was almost due and secondly, I wasn't sure how Jacob would feel about me seating across the table from him.
After getting to the gala, he had been unusually cool about my presence. I hadn't seen Keira until the point when Jacob was shaking the life out of her.
Her pale face was still vivid in my mind. Her puffy red eyes. She had been crying thanks to the rumours of her affair with an older man... An older man who turned out to be Jacobolas Bake, Jacob's father.
I had almost exchanged a few fists with Jacob over his I'll treatment towards Keira had Erma not intervened.
I don't know why but I was always protective when it came to Keira. I felt an unusual
need to keep her safe. Perhaps it was her demure and non offensive nature. She was timid and no doubt even more under Jacob's domineering personality.
But everything was resolved before things escalated out of hand. Nathan had been using Keira as his path back to Jacob. He had ended up leaving with his son and Cole took Keira home after an ugly confrontation with her fiancé.
Now I was seated in a cafe staring into a pair of warm teary brown eyes. I had endured two women crying around me and now Erma was also crying.
Jacob had requested a meeting and I had availed myself. We were in an Italian restaurant. HD had just asked me to be his best man and just like that we were okay.
Jacob never saw a need to explain himself and neither did I. In an instant it was all water under the bridge.
After he invited us for dinner at his house, he left me alone with Erma.
"Stop crying, please."
She cried even more dabbing her eyes repeatedly to the point I felt like the worst son alive. Jacob had just made up with her and now it was my turn.
I was still upset with her but I kept remembering how much affection she had showed me even at the expense of Jacob's feelings. How she had always sided with me no matter what.
It was the small things she did that made me feel horrible for not forgiving her.
"Mom, please stop crying. I love you."
That made her stop for a second before she unleashed a floodgate of tears. Enveloping her in my arms, I kissed the top of her head.
"I love you mom. I love you so please, no more tears."
"Does this mean you forgive me figlio?" She asked in
a broken voice.
"Of course. You had to make a difficult choice but what matters is that fate reunited us. Its all water under the bridge."
She stared at me in disbelief.
"You mean it?"
I nodded as I cleared the bill.
Erma's POV
I thought I knew my sons.
After letting my secret out, I had known Jacob was the one who would never forgive me. I had known that he would be the one to make my life hellish but he had surprised me when he had forgiven me.
James Lyons had taken a little longer than I had expected.
But what mattered to me was that we were talking. Forgiveness never happened over night. I was willing to wait no matter how long it would take them. So far, I had reached out to my sons. Now, there was one more person and he scared me.
Nathan Bale... Jacob's father.
He was leaning over the railing when I approached him. He was staring down at the busy Manhattan streets. I had decided to speak to him tonight because of the mood in the air.
Jacob had just proposed to Keira for the second time. Everyone was in a celebrant mood.
I took this chance since he was alone.
He looked as devilishly handsome as I remembered. Everyday Jacob grew more and more into his father. I had no doubt his son Jameselle would be a spitting image of him.
"Mia mogli." He spoke softly, his hand playing with the gold wedding band. "My dear wife, Erma Berlotelli Bale."
How he had known I was near him I didn't know but when his pale blue eyes met mine, I did what I had been doing all evening. I blushed like he was looking at me for the first time.
"Nate, can we talk?" I managed to speak.
"Of course. Its been overdue. Let's talk mia mogli."
Each time Nathan Bale had called me by the Greek term of endearment, my heart had always skipped a beat.
Tonight however it lacked the sexual essence he had always put into it. It had no warmth, it was just cold. So cold it chilled me to my spine.
I almost regretted seeking him out but loose ends needed to be tied up if I was ever going to move on with my life.
=================
Chapter thirty seven: Nate and I
"Are we going to stand here all night?" He asked in a calm voice.
So calm it scared me. Jacob had inherited the obscure calmness his father had. I preferred a raging mad Jacobolas than a calm one that was concealing anger. I felt the same way about Nate.
He and I never really ended things. We argued, we fought, I cheated and he walked. That's our life in a nutshell.
"Of course not. It's a cold night. I wanted us to talk about us."
"Is there us where we are concerned Mari?"
"Of course. I'm still your wife and you're my husband."
He chuckled making his face more handsome than he already was.
"You're my wife... My wife. Did that fact ever cross your mind when you slept with Wayne?"
"We weren't married then."
"Well forgive me for thinking that our commitment to each other was as good as a marriage."
He was being sarcastic just like Jacob would be right before he exploded.
"Nate-".
"Tell me why. Why did you cheat on me?"
I looked around my eyes settling on Helena. Her pale blue eyes were encouraging me to sort it out. She and I had never gotten along but something had changed tonight. It seemed that Keira and Jacob getting engaged had made everyone rethink their position in the family.
"You were never around."
A lousy reason but I was being sincere.
"I was working my ass off to give you and my only son a comfortable life!" His husky voice boomed. "I was struggling to
give an Italian billionaire's daughter the luxuries she was accustomed to. Was it ever enough? No! You cheated on me! And you want to know the worst part?"
I honestly did not.
When he approached me I trembled slightly. He poked his index finger on my chest.
"You brought to life the evidence of your unfaithfulness. Damn it Erma!"
I swallowed hard. I had known this day would come but I didn't anticipate he would be this angry.
"I love you."
"Screw you!" He cursed pushing back his sexy silver hair. "Get out of my sight before I lose my shit."
I dropped my purse and risked getting closer. Like Jacob, he was hot tempered. I still recalled how hard Jacob had slammed me against the wall after I had told him about Tony.
I reached out and touched his back.
"Nate, I'm sorry."
"No you're not. If you were, you would have given Jacobolas to me and you would have gone to your lover. If you were sorry, you would have flown him out to Florida to see me. If you were sorry, you would have given him all the letters I sent."
I felt terrible but then what was done was done.
"Is it all my fault?"
He threw me a dirty look. He wanted to lash out but he didn't. He folded his fist and closed his eyes.
"If there is one thing you know how to do, it's to get on my nerves." He said finally. "No, its both our fault. You fought hard to ruin us and I didn't fight hard enough to stop you. I accept responsibility
for this family failing."
"I do too. I should have done better. I'm sorry. I really am Nate."
He didn't say anything more. We just stood there in silence staring at nothing in particular. I had always been good at never addressing anything u had declared stressful. I simply ignored it and that helped me cope with all my problems.
After Nate and I had problems, I decided to blame him while in real sense I wasn't any better.
"By the lake. I was walking around and you were stalking me."
He laughed wrapping his hands around my waist.
"You've lost a lot of weight. The boys have worn you out."
His hand touched my cheek. I had missed the simplest of his embraces.
"Yes they have."
"Do you remember our first time?"
"How could I forget when you made something as sinful as surrendering my virtue so damn sweet?"
"Sweet? Is that how you remember our intimacy? Sweet?"
"Wasn't it?" I opened my eyes only to meet those perfect pale blue eyes.
I remembered his I had swam in his ocean of love without drowning. How I had loved and still love him. My lips automatically parted.
When he kissed me it was sweet at first, a feathery light kiss that reminded me of our first. With Nathan, every memory we have ever shared was always very vivid.
The kiss grew hungry and I understood why. We had been apart for twenty five years. This was needed.
"Not here." He whispered once he broke the kiss. Come to my hotel and I'll show you exactly how sweet things
used to be."
"What about our talk. We can't solve it with sex."
"Of course not. We'll talk after."
He took my hand and led me away through the living room where Helena was playing with Madeline.
"Be safe lovebirds." She teased.
"Mom, we don't need to be safe. I think it's safe to say Erma is past getting pregnant. Right?"
I gave him a weak smile and it dawned on him. He winced and cursed quietly.
I was seventeen when I had Jacob. I was still capable of getting knocked up and a child at this point of my life was something I didn't need.
"Going somewhere?" Jacob asked once he came in dragging Keira behind him.
She was beautiful. Both their hairs tousled and it was not a secret what they had been doing.
His eyes dropped to our hands and he frowned before looking at us. He turned to Keira and kissed her sensually.
"Go to bed I'm coming."
After she left, he turned serious.
"You forgive her just like that?" He asked.
He was upset.
"Twenty five years helps put things into perspective son. I don't see why I should keep fighting with the woman I love."
He shrugged and faced his daughter.