“Where were you thinking?” Cord asked, pulling her to her feet to point out at the land. “Over by the north pasture?”
She nodded. “Yes.” Not surprised he was already on the same page as her. “The well isn’t too far from Pete’s cabin, so I thought maybe the electricity and stuff would be nearby, too.”
Stone and Brick glanced out at the land and nodded.
“After talking with some of the veterans this weekend, and watching them, I noticed how a few enjoyed working around the horses. It sparked the idea.”
Cord slid his arms around her from behind and pulled her back against his chest. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
“No. I’m not.” She shook her head. “I just want to help. And I could use the help. Why not hire them? I’m sure you could recommend the ones you think would work out.”
The six of them walked the land then went inside and spent a few hours sketching up impromptu blueprints and coming up with a feasible plan. Since she was also hiring a few kids from the 4-H Club, they figured she should hire two full-time veterans to start, basing it off the number of horses she had signed up so far. As the number of boarders increased, she would increase her employees accordingly.
The tricky part would be the construction noise and trying not to spook the horses.
But all in all, it felt right, and she was happy, happier than she’d ever been in her whole life, and that scared her to death. Because anytime she got too comfortable, or too content with her life, it was turned on its ear. Never failed.
Chapter Twenty
If Cord had doubted his feelings for Haley before, he was sure of them now. He loved the woman. She was giving and generous, and his chest was full with a mixture of pride and emotions brewing inside for the special woman.
Yesterday, she’d blown everyone away with her idea to hire veterans to work on her ranch. Her unselfishness was refreshing.
“There you are.” She smiled at the sight of him as she walked out onto the porch, wearing nothing but his shirt.
He automatically reached for her as she neared, and sighed when she wrapped her arms around him. The sun was starting to set and it cast a warm glow over Haley’s Haven. Tomorrow the company she’d hired to work on the arenas was due to arrive first thing in the morning. Not much was left but a few minor fixes.
“This place looks amazing, Cord.” She tightened her arms around him. “Thank you so much for all you’ve done.”
“It was all you,” he said truthfully. “I added a little muscle that was all. You had the vision. And the drive.”
“Cord?”
“Yeah?”
“Any chance you’ll still come down to see me when you go back to At-Ease?”
His heart knocked into his ribs and a smile spread across his face. “Oh, I’d say there’s a very good chance.” He dipped down to kiss her neck and then shoulder. “This connection between us has gone way beyond the light and carefree thing we started a few weeks ago.”
She turned in his arm to smile at him. “I agree. I was just afraid you didn’t want—”
“Oh, I want, Haley. I want very, very much.” He brushed her lips with his while he spoke and her body melted against him.
“Good to know,” she replied, kissing him while she spoke. “Because I like being with you. I like having you around the ranch, and most of all, I like having you.”
He cupped her face with both hands and held her open, honest, emotion-filled gaze. “I like when you have me, too. And I very much like having you around me.”
When she gasped, he took advantage of her open mouth and kissed her long and deep, amazed at how much his body wanted her again, but it’d already been an hour. That was much too long to go without her sweet sighs.
Drawing back, he kissed her head. “Too bad we used up the last condom.” He was going to have to make a trip into town.
She kissed his chin while her hand ran down his body to trace his erection through his jeans. “No we didn’t. I still have that box from Jovy in the top drawer of my desk, remember?”
A smile tugged his lips. “That’s right. I did forget about those.” He cupped her sweet ass, groaning at the feel of her bare skin as he drew her against him. “Save’s me a trip into town.”
Her low chuckle warmed his neck. “Yes it does.” Then she nipped at him and soothed the spot with her tongue.
Everything inside him tightened. “Hold that thought,” he practically growled. He strode through the house and into her office, his mind centered on the woman waiting for him on the porch. The woman wearing his shirt and nothing else.
He loved that she wanted to wear his things, like maybe she wanted to feel him even if he wasn’t there. A smile spread across his face, and his chest warmed. He was going to make a point to leave a few of his shirts behind.
Reaching for her desk, he opened the top drawers until he found the box of condoms. Pulling it out, his heart lurched at the sight of the document underneath.
Divorce decree?
Son-of-a-bitch. Haley had been divorcing Drew?
His gaze skimmed the date and his blood ran cold. During their last deployment.
He sank down into the chair and stared at the paper as if maybe he were seeing things. Reading it wrong. Getting it wrong.
But it was there in black and white. She had filed for divorce. And even though he knew firsthand she’d had just cause, never in a million years did he peg her as the kind of woman who would stoop to divorcing her deployed husband.
Damn. Was that why Drew had been acting so off? Preoccupied?
Maybe it hadn’t been his threat to expose the guy if he didn’t come clean to Haley after the mission. Christ. He’d been living with the guilt over the consequences for years. Maybe it had been the damn papers. Receiving them would’ve been much worse than his ultimatum.
Jesus, she could’ve gotten them all killed. If Falcon had made a mistake, it could’ve…
For the thousandth time, his mind ran over the last mission. Had it gone sideways because of Drew? Or had it all just been shit timing? Didn’t mean the guy’s head was on straight, though.
He swallowed past his suddenly dry throat and rubbed at the ache in his chest. How could she do that? How could she divorce Drew while he was deployed? She’d always been so loyal. So trustworthy.
God, he’d gotten it all wrong.
What the fuck else had he gotten wrong?
Air refused to fill his lungs as his whole world crashed around him.
Not again. Fuck.
Not again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Unease had settled over Haley’s spine after waiting several long minutes out on the porch for Cord. Had she gotten it wrong? Was she supposed to meet him in her office? She finally headed inside, surprised to find him sitting behind her desk, box of condoms on the blotter while he stared at her opened drawer.
“Hey? Where’d you go?” Her smile faded when she saw his ashen face. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“No. I’m not.” His voice was gravely with raw pain and anger, and it stopped her in her tracks. “I can’t believe you were divorcing Drew while we were deployed.”
She exhaled. Dammit. The divorce papers. She hadn’t wanted to taint his friend’s memory. “It wasn’t like that.”
His bark of laughter echoed around them, sounding as hollow as his gaze. “You trying to deny you didn’t file for divorce? I can see the damn papers right there.”
Oh God. This was a mess. “It wasn’t—”
“Yes or no, Haley,” he cut her off, tone more angry than hurt now. It was cold and unfeeling and she shivered at the frost entering his gaze.
“Yes, but—”
“No. No buts.” He jumped to his feet and scowled at her. “Do you have any idea what that does to a guy who’s deployed? Soldiers need support. Need to know everything is good on the homefront so they can fight and carry out their missions without distraction. Not just for themselves, but for their damn teamm
ates and civilians, too.” He came around the front of the desk and glared at her. “I trusted you. We all trusted you. Shit like this puts the whole team in danger. And now Drew’s dead.”
Air funneled into her tight chest. “You have it all wrong.” She took her life in her hands and reached for his arm. “Please, just let me explain.”
He yanked out of her grasp and headed for the door. “Forget it.”
She followed him into his room and watched helplessly as he threw his belongings haphazardly in his duffle bag. “Drew was cheating on me.”
He stiffened but continued to stuff his damn bag. “I know.”
Wait…
Her heart lurched. “You knew?”
He stilled and had the good sense to appear ashamed. But then he shrugged it off and zipped up his bag. “Most of the major work is done around here. I think you can manage what’s left on the list.”
Pain funneled into her chest and she stumbled backward and leaned against the doorframe, nearly doubled over from the intensity. God…she couldn’t believe he knew and didn’t tell her.
Of course his loyalty would’ve been to Drew and not her.
She shouldn’t have trusted him. Shouldn’t have done a lot of things with him.
He was no different. In fact, he was worse.
She needed him gone. Needed to breathe.
God, she couldn’t breathe.
But she sure as hell wasn’t going to let him leave her ranch without hearing her out. She drew herself up to her full height and blocked the doorway. “I filed for divorce six months before Drew deployed. He wasn’t even living here. And I did not at any time send him papers overseas. He knew they were waiting for him when he returned because he refused to sign the damn things the entire six months before he left.”
Cord blinked at her as some of her words started to finally sink in. “You didn’t send him anything?”
She fought back a sob at the futility of the situation. “Hell no. I’d never do that. Never put all your lives on the line like that.” She sucked in a breath as the pain of his accusation gripped her anew. “God, Cord. I can’t believe you’d even think that. I thought you knew me.”
Seems she was the one who was wrong with her trust.
And that hurt. It hurt so bad.
“But the date…” His voice trailed off as he obviously tried to do the math.
“That was the date I asked the lawyer to send me an extra copy, because Drew was so mad he kept shredding them. I wanted a backup for when he returned.” She understood how it looked. She really did. But the fact he’d jumped to that conclusion in the first place sat like a fat fist in her throat. And then he hadn’t even allowed her a chance to explain, cutting her off, too busy jumping to conclusions. She hadn’t even told him everything.
To hell with it. None of it mattered now.
But that wasn’t the worst part.
That wasn’t the part that hurt so bad tears burned her eyes and throat, and her whole body ached as if she’d been run over by a tank.
He knew. Cord knew.
Tears dripped down her face as she turned blindly toward the door. “You can see yourself out.”
Without waiting for the rest of it to get through his thick skull, she headed down the hall, slipping into a pair of shorts she grabbed from the basket of clean clothes on her dryer, and stopped by the door long enough to shove her feet into a pair of cowboy boots. Staying inside the house right now wasn’t an option. It was killing her. He was killing her.
She wanted to let go. To cry and throw up and cry some more and scream at the world. God, she was tired. So tired. Tired of all the bad shit happening to her. Tired of making wrong choices.
Why had she trusted him with her heart? She’d done it with Drew and he’d stomped all over it. Now Cord had crushed what remained.
She sucked in a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and walked out.
Chapter Twenty-Two
For two days, Cord tried to get back into his old routine of work, work, and more work, with a few shared beers with his buddies. Nothing helped. His mind was messed up good. Christ, he was so confused.
He couldn’t remember if he was supposed to be mad at Haley, or if she had the right to be pissed at him.
Probably the latter.
That seemed to be the norm of late.
His inability to trust or give up control had been a source of contention his whole life.
It was after five on Wednesday afternoon and he was in the horse barn, grooming one of the mares. The strokes were soothing to them both. Normally. Not tonight. Not for him.
By the time he finished, he was only mildly aware of a trio of men standing off to the side, watching him with frowns on their faces. Brick wasn’t there, but it didn’t seem to matter.
Fuck.
He stiffened. He knew what it was—an intervention. Hell, he’d participated in two of them on this ranch this past spring. But they were usually held in Stone’s office. There wasn’t a chance they’d corner him there. Hell, he hadn’t been in the house much except to shower and grab clean clothes. No fucking way could he stand to sleep in his bed. Not with memories of Haley and her soft sighs and heated cries haunting him at every turn.
The barn had a quiet loft big enough for his sleeping bag. He’d slept in worse places. He’d also slept in some amazing ones, too.
More images of Haley and her smiling face washed through his brain.
Behind him, the men kept right on gossiping like women.
“He’s not even mumbling to himself.”
“Yeah, not good.”
“Have the girls had any luck with Haley?”
“Not yet. They’re at her place now.”
At that, he stiffened and turned to face them. “Leave her alone.”
“Ah.” A knowing gleam entered Vince’s gaze. “So it was your fault.”
Cord lifted his chin, still too unclear on that point to give an honest answer. “It was a mistake. Leave it at that.”
Stone shook his head. “No can do, buddy.”
“Why the hell not?” he barked.
“Because we liked you better with Haley,” Vince replied. “You were your old self but improved.”
“Yeah,” Stone said. “It was like having Cord back.”
Vince snickered. “The Cord 1.0 version.”
He muttered an oath, not at all in the mood for this shit. Straightening, he untied the mare and led her back to her stall then headed to grab the next one. Only, the guys blocked his path.
Squeezing the bridge of his nose, he blew out a breath. “Is there a version of this where you get to the damn point?”
“At least he’s still using his words,” Vince said cheerfully.
Cord flipped him off.
Stone unfolded his arms and walked closer, grim set to his jaw. “Look, Cord, your sister is worried about you, and frankly, we all are.”
Ah hell. He knew that look. His buddy became an immovable wall when he was set on that course. “I’m fine.”
“Bullshit,” Leo said.
“You might as well spill it.” Stone lifted a shoulder. “You know we’re not leaving until you do. And you certainly know how big a fuckup my brother and I were in our relationships, so nothing you can tell us will surprise us. We invented the fuckup club. Charter members.”
He snorted. Jackasses. But they were good friends, and he remembered the boot being on the other foot. They were only trying to help. Thing was, he wasn’t sure if they could. Or if they even should.
Christ, maybe he should take the floor during this Friday’s session. They’d probably need at least two hours he was so messed up.
“Everything was great when we left Sunday night,” Stone said. “So what happened the next day?”
Jesus, would they ever give it a rest?
No, his mind immediately responded. Thing was, even though he was hurt and angry at Haley, he didn’t want the others to regard her with a loss of respect. And then there was t
he part about Drew and his infidelity. How the hell did he bring that up?
Should he?
Christ, he didn’t want to be the one to burst bubbles and ruin memories.
“Damn it, Cord! What the hell did you do?” Stone’s angry tone echoed through the barn.
“Drew and Haley were getting a divorce,” Cord blurted.
“What?” Vince’s raised tone echoed around them.
Leo frowned. “No way.”
“Is that what’s been eating you?” Stone stepped closer, his gray gaze now dark with turmoil.
“Part of it,” Cord finally admitted, since he let the cat half out of the bag
Stone’s gray gaze was back on him. “What did Drew do?”
Cord shoved his hands in his hair and blew out a breath. “He fucking cheated on her.”
Vince muttered a curse while Leo shook his head sadly.
“I caught him just before that last mission and threatened to tell Haley if he didn’t.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I was pissed and not thinking straight. I put us all in jeopardy.”
“No,” Leo said firmly. “It wasn’t anything Drew did or didn’t do. Trust me. That mission replays in my head all the damn time. It was bad intel. There were more insurgents than reported. Just too damn many.”
Cord’s chest squeezed tight. He knew in his mind and heart Leo was right, but it would never excuse his foolish behavior.
“Let it go, Warlock,” Leo said. “If I’ve learned anything through our sessions, it’s that holding onto the past is unhealthy. Especially something you had no control over.”
Vince nodded. “You carried that guilt around long enough. Let it go.”
He shook his head. “Not gonna happen. I should’ve waited until after the mission to confront him.”
“Maybe, but it wouldn’t have changed the outcome of that day,” Stone said, then sighed. “What was Drew thinking? I can’t believe he cheated on someone like Haley.”
“He did. A lot.” Pete’s voice drifted down the walkway to them.
They all turned to watch Haley’s ranch foreman make his way to them, still sporting crutches, while Brick walked grimly by his side. So that’s where the guy had gone. To Dallas to get Pete.
The Right Ranger (The Men of at Ease Ranch) Page 14