Maybe. But after seeing the less restrained version of him...I'm not sure I can ever look at old Killian the same way again. He's so much more alive now than before.
Alive in a way you wish you were. You try to convince yourself that work is the answer, but sometimes, it's not.
A knock on the front door of her cottage echoed through the house. She said to her beast, We'll finish this discussion later.
With a sigh, Brenna stood and went to the door. If Killian were on the other side, she wasn't sure how she'd act.
Taking a deep breath, she opened it and blinked at the female standing there. "Caitlin?"
The older woman smiled. "May I come in?"
Stepping aside, Brenna motioned toward the living room. "Of course. But I can't say that I'm at my most social right now."
"I don't think any of us are," Caitlin murmured. Brenna was about to press for more details when Caitlin continued, "Lorcan's daughter has agreed to kiss Killian."
She searched the female's gaze. "I'm not sure why you're telling me this. I told Teagan I didn't want to be his guard any longer."
Caitlin tilted her head, her long, black- and gray-streaked hair falling over one shoulder. "I think you understand why I'm telling you this news."
Brenna shifted her feet. She was used to people demanding answers or giving orders. She wasn't sure how to respond to Caitlin's kind, inquisitive gaze.
Thankfully the older female spoke up again. "Teagan will give you all the details, but you will be accompanying me and Killian the day after tomorrow. Before you say you don't want to, just know that you're the only reason Killian can travel to Northern Ireland without special permission in the current climate."
Rather than think of spending time alone with Killian, let alone watching him kiss another female, she focused on Caitlin's role. "You being here and telling me this must mean that you're going to mate the leader of Northcastle."
She smiled. "Yes. I don't have the skills to fight an actual battle, nor do I possess any sort of political acumen. But I can at least do this."
Brenna touched the older female's arm. "A clan needs all sorts of members, Caitlin. If it only consisted of fighters and politicians, I'm sure we'd be extinct by now."
Caitlin laughed. "You're probably right." She sobered. "I have no right to ask anything of you, but I hope you don't give up on my son. I think you care for him, and he desperately needs that right now."
It took everything she had not to look away. "He has all of you."
"It's not the same. We keep seeing who he used to be. You accept him as he is now. For a male lost in the world, that is a tremendous thing." Brenna opened her mouth to reply, but Caitlin continued, "But don't worry, you won't have to see him until the day after tomorrow."
Brenna should thank Caitlin and ask her to leave. Killian's condition shouldn't matter.
Liar, her dragon growled.
Ignoring her beast, Brenna blurted, "You'll let me know if Killian falls unconscious again?"
Or worse was left unsaid.
"Of course. Dr. O'Brien will keep the Stonefire doctors apprised of the situation as well. The more information they have, the more likely they can help him."
"So you don't think the true mate kiss will work?"
"I don't know, honestly. But I'd rather be prepared." Caitlin took her hand and squeezed. "You're a fine female, Brenna. I hope you can stay on Glenlough and help look after my family."
At the sadness in Caitlin's eyes, Brenna engulfed the female in a hug. "I will, but you'll visit and probably call more often than any of them will want."
"Maybe," Caitlin whispered.
She pulled back. "Look, agreeing to stay here initially was difficult for me. I gave up everything I knew and had no idea when I might return to Stonefire. But now Glenlough feels like home and I can't imagine staying away forever. You might one day feel the same way about Northcastle. I would hazard to guess that you never would've agreed to mate Lorcan unless you believed him to be a somewhat good male."
The older female bobbed her head. "I think he is. I've never heard anything bad or had any warning signs from my dragon when I interacted with him in the past. But at the end of the day, all we can do is wait and see what happens."
Brenna released Caitlin. "Should I put the kettle on for some tea?"
"No, no, that's unnecessary. I have much to do before my departure." She paused and added, "Thank you, Brenna, for your encouragement. I love my family, but they handle situations differently than I would in most circumstances. Sometimes, a person just needs a hug and a set of ears to listen."
Smiling, she said, "My father is the same way. Maybe someday you'll meet him and gain an ally against all of us alpha personalities."
Brenna and Caitlin said their goodbyes. The second Brenna closed the door, she leaned against it and closed her eyes. By avoiding my mother, I'm starting to realize how much I abandoned Dad.
We will have time to make up for it.
I hope so. I miss him.
And Mum, although you'll deny it with your last breath.
Not wanting to think of the arguments she'd had over the years with her mother, Brenna opened her eyes and headed toward her bedroom. She probably wouldn't sleep a wink, but she'd at least try. Otherwise, she would spend the night thinking of what was to come.
Of course, if she did fall asleep, she might dream of Killian.
She wasn't sure which would be worse.
Chapter Seven
Two days later, Killian sat in the back seat of a car with his mother, trying his best to avoid looking at Brenna's profile in the driver's seat.
For a little over two hours, they'd all remained quiet during the journey to Clan Northcastle. Even going across the border from Ireland to Northern Ireland had been uneventful. Putting aside there was no formal border checkpoint between the two countries, the DDA and local police officers would often keep an eye out for any cars traveling from Glenveagh National Park. He'd been told that many people were pulled over and checked, as a precaution, to ensure dragon-shifters weren't trying to travel without authorization.
He should be grateful for the smoothness of the journey. However, a small part of him had wanted there to be a complication. He was not looking forward to kissing Georgiana Todd.
Studying the curves of Brenna's face, he willed for her to turn around or look at him in the rearview mirror. But she didn't. He fucking hated how she'd ignored him the last two days. True, it was for the best that she kept her distance since that made it easier for him not to hurt her, but it didn't mean he liked it.
When he'd agreed to mate her, he'd had an entirely different view of where they'd be right now. He'd barely kissed her twice, for fuck's sake.
His gaze moved to her neck, and he wanted to lean forward to kiss the soft skin. Afterward, he'd take her earlobe between his teeth and lightly tug. Her soft intake of breath would encourage him to do more.
He stilled. No. He had to remember the purpose behind the car ride and his mother's sacrifice. She was giving up her life so that he could have a chance at regaining his dragon and maybe his memories.
Glancing at the clock on the front media panel of the car, he guessed that they should be arriving at any moment. He could keep his thoughts from Brenna for a few more minutes and then do what needed to be done.
He forced himself to stare out the window at the passing houses, petrol stations, and occasional shop. Clan Northcastle was outside of Belfast proper, but there were still many more people here than back home near Glenlough. While far from crowded, their current location was stifling to him. He much preferred the open landscapes back home.
Yes, despite everything, he thought of Glenlough as home.
Brenna turned the car down a road and soon all the houses and shops disappeared. Nothing but trees and foliage filled the sides of the road for a good fifteen minutes. After another turn, the car stopped outside ten-foot-high walls. The stone looked older than those back on Glenlough, which mad
e sense since Teagan had mentioned that Northcastle was tied for the oldest clan in the whole of Ireland, along with the one near Dublin in the south.
The gates swung inward and Brenna drove to just inside, where a male directed her to park the car. As soon as she turned the engine off, everyone sat in silence. Partly out of waiting for Northcastle to give them their instructions, and probably also because each of them was thinking about what was to come.
He glanced over at Caitlin, but her gaze was fixed on the window on her side of the car. Her jaw looked clenched, and the usual softness of her eyes had been replaced with strain.
Out of instinct, he reached over and took her hand. As soon as she turned her head at the touch, he whispered, "Thank you."
She smiled. "Stop saying that. I made my decision, and I'm proud I did so." Lifting a hand, she gently touched his arm. "But I want you to know that regardless of what happens here today, I will always love you. And no, not just the ghost of who you were. You will be always be my son, Killian, no matter what form you're in."
He struggled with what to say to that. Another person finally accepted him as he was, and he was going to lose her, too. Just as he might lose Brenna, if he hadn't already.
A loud rap on the driver's side window interrupted the moment. Brenna glanced back at them. "That's our cue."
They exited the car and faced a male who was just over two meters tall, with blond hair and blue eyes. The tattoo on his bicep indicated he was a dragon-shifter.
The male spoke up. "I'm Adrian Conroy, the second-in-command of the Protectors on Northcastle, and I'll be your escort today."
Killian was tempted to say he was their babysitter, but he didn't want to cause any unnecessary strife for Caitlin. After all, this was to be her new home. His temper could cause a lot of heartache for her in the future.
Adrian continued, "This way."
The tall man walked toward the nearest building to the gate, which was a two-story stone structure.
Killian expected people to stand about, gawking at them. However, there were few people he could see and the handful of males they passed on the way to the door barely paid them any attention.
The Northcastle population were either treating it as business as usual or the clan was on high alert, meaning the regular members were staying indoors until given the all clear.
Killian sensed he'd ordered something similar in the past, but he quickly pushed it aside. Any time he tried to remember something from before waking up with amnesia, it usually caused a blackout. He wasn't about to risk one on a foreign clan's lands. After all, he’d kept his deductions to himself, not wanting Glenlough to isolate him or some other extreme to keep him awake.
Adrian finally guided them into a large conference room and motioned toward the table. "Brenna and Killian, take a seat. Caitlin, you're to come with me."
Killian opened his mouth, but Brenna beat him to it. "Where are you taking her?"
Adrian raised a blond eyebrow. "She's to be our clan leader's new mate and you don't trust me to take care of her?"
Brenna didn't back down. "I don't know you, so I ask again: where are you taking her?"
"Not that it's any of your bloody business, but Lorcan wants to see her alone first. Unless you want to embarrass Caitlin by making her meet her new male in front of you two?" Adrian asked.
"There's no need to be snarky. I'm doing my job, same as you," Brenna stated.
Killian watched as the tall male studied Brenna's face. The bloke smiled with a wink and said, "Female Protectors are few and far between here, but between you and Faye MacKenzie, I'm starting to think we could use a few."
Clenching his fingers into a fist, Killian resisted the urge to punch the bastard. "That's my mate you're winking at."
Adrian swung his gaze to Killian. "And you're here to kiss another female, so I think you have little say in the matter."
Brenna stepped in front of Killian. "Just stop, you two. I understand there's a history between your two clans, but this isn't going to accomplish anything."
Caitlin spoke up. "Brenna's right." His mother stood taller. "Take me to Lorcan, Mr. Conroy. I'm ready."
The Northern Irish dragonman guided Caitlin out of the room. A beat after the door clicked closed, Brenna turned on him. "You need to be careful of your temper, Killian. You may not remember it, but these people have been at odds with Glenlough for quite a while."
"That male was flirting with you, Brenna. I couldn't let it go without comment, or I'd appear weak."
She rolled her eyes. "You're sounding more like a dragon-shifter now."
"I don't fucking care what I sound like. Until we sign any sort of separation agreement, you're my mate and I'm going to defend you."
"I can take care of myself. Or do I need to remind you of our mating day and what happened when we were alone?"
He closed the distance between them. "Just because you can take care of yourself doesn't mean you couldn't do with a little looking after."
"What are you talking about?"
"You work hard, and I have yet to see you do any sort of hobby. I think you need someone to relax with."
She narrowed her eyes. "If that's an invitation to strip off my clothes and 'relax' with your penis inside me, I think I'll resist somehow."
He growled. "You may find it hard to believe, but I think about more than sex."
She studied him. "Such as?"
If he were smart, he'd avoid answering. He was supposed to be avoiding Brenna, not opening up to her.
But it irritated him that she thought he only cared about her body and what he could do with it. "Such as how I'd like to swim with you in the lake, or maybe even teach you to ride a motorcycle."
She blinked. "You can ride?"
Information about motorcycles flooded his brain. "Yes, and fix them up, too. Although I don't think I've done it in a while."
"What else?"
"I'd like to dance with you again, and hopefully not end up unconscious."
She smiled. "I thought you hated dancing."
"It seemed ridiculous until I had you in my arms, and then it felt as if I'd done it hundreds of times before."
She counted off each thing on her fingers. "Swimming, motorcycles, dancing, and kissing. They're all things you enjoy."
It took everything he had to keep his distance from Brenna. "Yes, and more so when I'm with you."
She bit her bottom lip before saying, "Killian, you can't say things like that."
"Why not?"
"Well, for one thing, you're right—I work too much. And if you regain your memories after kissing Georgiana, then you'll probably morph back into your old workaholic state. The two of us working together wouldn’t end well and we’d probably end up killing ourselves within twenty years or less."
He should keep quiet, but he asked, "And what if the kiss changes nothing?"
"Then there's still the two weeks you promised to give the Stonefire doctors."
Not wanting to be so far away from Brenna, he leaned closer and she took a step back. They continued the dance until she was up against a wall and he finally whispered, "And after that? What happens if I'm still this way?"
"I-I don't know."
He smiled slowly. "Then let me clarify—I will ask you out on a proper date and convince you to give me a chance."
As they stared into one another's eyes, a sense of rightness settled in his stomach. Keeping away from Brenna forever was simply not a viable option. At least, until she honestly told him she didn't want him. Then he knew himself well enough to know he'd honor her request.
However, just as he raised a hand to brush her cheek, Adrian's voice echoed in the room. "It's time to discuss the details of what's about to happen with Georgiana."
With a mental curse, Killian forced himself to turn away from Brenna. More than ever, he just wanted to get the blasted kiss over with so he could learn more about the female who intrigued him. After their conversation, Brenna knew more about him than
he did about her. He'd still never found out who had most likely hurt her in the past.
Sitting down across from Adrian, he listened to the male's rules and directions. Never once did he look at Brenna. Because if he did, he might lose his nerve and piss off the Northcastle dragons with his rejection of Georgiana.
~~~
Caitlin wiggled her fingers from pinky to forefinger and back again as she followed Adrian Conroy down one corridor and then up a flight of stairs. She should be grateful that she was seeing Lorcan in private for their first meeting, but a part of her longed to have her son and Brenna in the room for support.
Her dragon spoke up. You have me.
I know, love, but it's not quite the same.
I'm not sure why you're nervous. If he tries anything, I will take control and protect us.
Her beast's words helped to ease her tension a fraction. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
I'll give him a chance, but just one. How we interact with him now will set the tone for our future.
As her dragon's words set in, Adrian stopped in front of a door and knocked. Sending a request for her dragon to be quiet for a little while, Caitlin took a deep breath as Adrian opened the door and she followed inside.
It took everything she had to keep her gaze from looking downward to avoid eye contact. Not that finding Lorcan was difficult. He stood at the far end of the room, near a window, the light highlighting his form.
His mismatched eyes found hers and her heart rate kicked up. While she'd thought him attractive via the video conference, being in the same room as him stole her breath away. He wore the traditional dragon-shifter garb of a kilt-like outfit, complete with a dark green swath of material tossed over his shoulder and fastened with a brooch. The outfit displayed his muscled chest dusted with gray hair. Her gaze traveled up to his broad shoulders, lightly stubbled jaw, and she met his gaze once more.
More than his physical features, it was the kindness shining in his eyes that made her relax a fraction.
When he smiled at the sound, showing his white teeth, her mind went blank.
Craved by the Dragon Page 8