by Paige Weaver
The room was slowly becoming darker with the setting sun, making the house eerie. I worried about Ryder every second. Taking a seat on the couch, I stared at the congealed chili, wondering when he would return.
“I want to go home. I miss my parents,” Eva said, sitting in a chair across the room. “I was so happy to leave a few days ago. Now I would give anything to see them again.”
“I miss my dad also,” I said.
“Ryder’s parents will take care of him,” Eva said, reassuringly. "You don’t have to worry."
“So are you and Ryder really just friends because it seems like there’s more between you two,” Brody asked, picking up a stale chip and popping it into his mouth.
“She’s in love with him. He doesn’t do relationships,” Eva answered before I could. “He doesn’t want anything from her except sex.”
I blushed at her frankness.
“That’s bullshit,” Brody declared.
Before I could respond, Ryder walked through the door. Glancing at the three of us, he rested the shotgun against the wall.
“Speak of the devil,” Eva mumbled.
Ryder ignored her. “There’s no sign of them.”
“Still can’t believe you gave them one of our fucking guns,” Brody said, tossing a water bottle to Ryder.
Ryder caught it easily with one hand.
“If I hadn’t, I would be signing a death sentence for those kids.”
“Awww, he actually has a heart!” Eva said, sweetly.
Ryder shot her a look of warning before taking a seat beside me. The small couch didn’t allow that much room for the two of us. His leg and arm continually brushed against mine, causing tingles to rush over my skin. I didn’t mind. I was just happy he was safe and back in the house.
After eating, we sat quietly and watched the candle that Eva found, flicker and burn in the darkness of the room. Somewhere in the house, a clock chimed softly, announcing the late hour. The open windows let in a cool night breeze and with it the sounds of the night.
Everyone shared a bottle of cheap wine except me. My hangover was still too fresh in my mind, making me shudder when I remembered how sick I had been. Never again.
“So how did the two of you meet?” Brody asked, motioning to Ryder and me with his half empty glass of wine.
"He was nine, I was six. He showed up on my doorstep, wanting to play, after my dad and I moved in,” I said, looking over at Ryder. He took a drink of his wine, watching me closely. “We played together every day that summer and every day he threatened to beat me up.”
“Nice, Ryder! A real lady’s man!” Brody laughed.
“I was nine and she was an annoying little girl,” Ryder reasoned.
“I was not annoying! I was just better than you at some things. I could run faster, hide better, and climb higher,” I said, stubbornly. "I always won any competition we had."
Ryder scoffed. “You won because you were as small as a pixie and I let you win.”
“I don’t think so! I always won, fair and square!”
He raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?” Taking another long drink of wine, he looked over at Brody. “Did I mention she was annoying AND stubborn?”
Eva laughed. “Nothing’s changed. She’s still just as annoying and stubborn as she was back then.”
I didn’t think it was very funny. Okay, so I was stubborn but I wasn’t annoying.
Seeing my hurt look, Eva jumped up from her chair and rushed over to me. Plopping herself in my lap, she hugged me fiercely.
“We love you anyway, Maddie!” she said, squeezing me tightly.
“I love you too,” I said, easing out of her arms. “Now get off me, Amazon.”
Disgruntled, she pouted her perfect lips at me and climbed off of my lap.
Ryder sat forward and leaned his elbows on his knees. The candlelight flickered over him, enhancing the sharp angles of his face and the stubble on his jaw. The tender expression on his face left me speechless and confused. I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, suddenly nervous.
“Maddie, stop,” he whispered huskily, leaning toward me. Reaching out, he pushed my long hair behind my ear, his gaze lowering to my lips. I wasn’t sure what I was doing to him but I knew what he was doing to me. I wanted him again, no matter what the consequences.
As if he realized what he was doing, his hand dropped away from me. Coolness replaced the desire in his eyes. Sitting his empty glass on the coffee table, he shot to his feet. Restlessly, he started pacing back and forth in the tiny living room like a caged animal.
“So what the hell are we going to do?” Brody asked, all playfulness gone. We didn’t have to ask what he was referring to.
“Survive. It’s the only option,” Ryder answered, stopping to look out the window into the dark night, his mind elsewhere.
“We’re all fucked,” Brody said, slurring his words. “How are we supposed to fight off a goddamn enemy without communication? We’re talking about Revolutionary War shit now.”
“Yeah, well, we won that one, remember?” Ryder said, still staring outside.
“Hell, dude, that was different. We’re pussies now. We don’t know how to live like this. No electricity, no communication, no transportation? And what about food? No one knows how to survive without a Walmart around the corner. Might as well bend over and kiss our ass goodbye.”
“You’re drunk, Brody,” I said. “Lay off the wine.”
“No, he’s right.” Eva said, upset. “That man’s kids looked like refugees. Imagine all the people that will die without food and water. Children. The elderly. One little infection and you could be dead.”
I thought of my dad, alone with a heart condition. I thought of how vulnerable we were, walking home in this new wasteland.
“How do we know it won’t be one of us that dies or starves to death? I can’t live like that, wondering if I will be next or one of you,” I said, not being able to keep the morbid thought to myself.
Ryder looked over at me, his blue eyes drilling into mine. “Nothing is going to happen to you, Maddie.”
“You can’t promise that, Ryder. Nobody can.”
“I might die trying but nothing will happen to you,” he said, roughly.
Somewhere in the distance, a coyote howled, sending shivers along my spine. The sound was lonely and dejected, reflecting how we all felt.
“Let’s just promise to take care of each other,” Eva said around a yawn.
“Always,” I whispered quietly, knowing I would do anything for the three of them.
Eva stood up and grabbed Brody’s hand, pulling him out of the chair.
“We’re going to bed.”
I was speechless as I watched her drag Brody out of the room. She was staying with Brody tonight and leaving me with Ryder? I narrowed my eyes at her as she passed but she only gave me a mischievous grin.
“Where do you want to sleep?”
I looked up at Ryder, momentarily confused by his question. Did he mean where did I want to sleep or where should we sleep? And why was I so nervous all of a sudden?
“We’re sleeping together, Maddie. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
Butterflies took flight in my stomach. I swallowed hard. “Can we just sleep here?” I asked, indicating the living room. “I would rather not sleep in some stranger’s bed.”
“Okay. I’ll go grab some sheets and pillows.”
I waited for him, watching the candlelight flicker and shadows bounce around the room. The tiny flame became smaller and smaller as the candle fought to stay lit. Darkness was no longer an option. It was now a constant, a reminder of the world that was gone. Just like resisting Ryder was no longer an option.
He walked back into the room, his arms loaded with pillows, sheets, and a quilt. After pushing the coffee table out of the way, he spread the quilt on the floor. I felt jittery, knowing we were going to share a bed again.
I swallowed nervously as he pulled his shirt over his head and
tugged his shorts off. His boxer briefs remained, hanging low on his hips. My heart started to race as he turned a heated gaze toward me.
“Relax, Maddie,” he said, walking slowly toward me. “I’m not going to bite.”
“Listen, Ryder…I….” What did I want to say again? My mind went completely blank. I held up a hand to stop him. I knew that if he touched me, I was a goner.
When the back of my knees hit the couch, he still moved closer, stopping only when my palm was flat on his chest.
A tense moment passed as we stood toe to toe, our eyes saying what we didn’t dare. My hand looked small resting on the black tattoos covering his chest. I wanted to run my hand further down to the top of his boxer shorts, explore him like he had explored me. Instead, I pulled my hand away.
“Why are you so nervous?” he asked.
“Because I don’t know what to think about us anymore.” The words spilled out, unrehearsed. “I mean, where do we stand? You said you don’t want a relationship and you could never love me but…”
His lips crashed onto mine, cutting off my words, as his hands moved to hold my head in place. He franticly deepened the kiss, wanting more, taking more. His wet, teasing tongue pushed past my lips, demanding entrance.
Oh, the man could kiss! My hands did what they wanted to do earlier. They ran over his solid lower stomach. He sucked in a breath when my fingertips grazed the top of his boxer shorts.
“I want you, Maddie,” he rasped as his lips moved to my neck, leaving wet kisses in its path. His hands ran down my ribcage to the edge of my t–shirt. “Just one more night."
His lips slammed down on mine again, all gentleness gone. He tugged my bottom lip with his teeth as his hands moved beneath my shirt. I couldn’t hold back the moan when his fingers pushed my shorts down over my hips.
Within seconds, he had me stretched out on the floor, careful not to hurt my ribs. His hand slipped down to my inner thigh, skimming lightly over my panties.
“I can’t get enough of you,” he said before taking my mouth again, demanding more this time. As his hand moved against me, his tongue thrust into my mouth, taking what he wanted.
I was on fire.
He pulled my panties down quickly. I was frantic to have his fingers on me, inside me. I gasped as he fulfilled my wish. His mouth moved to kiss the sensitive skin right behind my earlobe as his fingers tormented me.
“I want you on top of me,” he said, pulling away suddenly and taking me with him. As he sat up and leaned back against the couch, I straddled him, feeling delirious with need.
Grabbing my head, he sealed his mouth to mine. His tongue raged inside with lush, firm strokes. Both of his hands moved over my t–shirt, teasing my breasts through the thin material.
“Please, Ryder…”
“Hmmm, begging. I like it,” he said, leaning over and nipping at my breasts through my shirt.
I gasped at the sensation, my hips moving against him of their own accord. He moaned at the movement as his hands dropped to hold onto my waist.
His hardness got my attention as it nudged me through his boxer shorts. I reached down between us and wrapped my fingers around him. His fingers tightened on my hips as my hand teased him.
“Maddie, you don’t know what you’re doing to me.”
“Show me,” I said, breathlessly.
“Shit!” he said under his breath, kicking the boxers off quickly.
When he was free, I wrapped my hand around his hard length. Grabbing me behind the neck roughly, his lips slashed across mine.
“I don’t have a damn condom,” he said before his tongue dipped into my mouth again.
My hand continued to torment him, causing an animalistic groan to move up his throat. Without breaking our kiss, he pushed my hand away swiftly before grabbing my hips and lifting me up. Slowly, he entered me, his hands guiding my hips. As his tongue lashed out against mine, he slammed into me, filling me completely.
I came instantly, every inch of my skin pulsating.
He held me still as waves of ecstasy rushed over me. His mouth silenced my moans as his tongue met mine.
I broke the kiss off as the need to move overtook me. I sat up, placing my hands on his chest. The sensation of being on top was overwhelming. I felt in control. Powerful. I started moving, feeling him deep inside of me.
"Damn, Maddie,” he moaned, his grip tightening on my hips each time he thrust deeper.
I threw my head back and arched my body, the sensations racing through me.
“You look so good riding me,” he said, watching me move. His hands disappeared under my shirt, seeking my breasts.
I grabbed his shoulders, holding on for dear life as the rough texture of his fingertips caressed my nipples. My hips moved up and down, having a mind of their own. I felt an orgasm coming again.
Without withdrawing, he flipped me onto my back. His lips found my earlobe as he pulled my legs up to wrap around his waist. Holding his weight off of me on his elbows, he started moving faster.
I couldn’t stop the sounds that came from my throat as the ripples of another orgasm hit me. His hands tangled in my hair as he kissed me deeply, taking my loud moans into his mouth.
“Christ, Maddie!” he said against my mouth as his hips jerked into me hard. “I’ve never…oh, God…fuck, you feel too good to stop.”
He groaned, driving into me powerfully. His body tightened, thrusting into me once more. Filling me, completing me.
~~~~
Our bodies were still connected, his hands entangled in my hair, when his kiss turned tender.
Breaking away, his blue eyes raked over my face with worry.
“Shit, I came inside of you,” he said, hoarsely. “I was going to pull out but…you felt so damn good, I couldn’t stop.”
Until that moment, safe sex hadn’t been on my mind. I was fearless with him, consumed by him. I wasn’t sure either of us could have stopped.
“I wanted to feel you. Just you wrapped around me, nothing else.” He kissed my lips lightly as one of his hands reached down to caress my bottom. My body started to respond again at his touch.
Pulling away, he looked down into my eyes. “I want you to know that I’ve never had sex without a condom.”
“Never?”
“Not even once. You were my first.”
On hearing those words, I pulled his head down to meet my lips again. Moving slowly, his palm glided lightly over my side, to the edge of my breast, and then to cup my jaw gently.
He ended the kiss, his lips pulling away from mine reluctantly as he pulled out of me. Rolling onto his side, he tucked me next to him. I rested my head on his firm shoulder as his arms gathered me close.
He threw a blanket over us, cocooning me next to his warmth. My body still tingled all over, each nerve ending feeling alive and awake. I knew I would never be the same again.
Chapter Twenty–Two
We left before the sun rose the next morning. Our backpacks were loaded down with food and water and both Brody and Ryder had guns and ammo.
We covered countless miles during the morning but by afternoon it was blistering hot and we had to stop. The heat was relentless, reflecting off of the pavement and baking us.
So we stopped and rested, alone in the middle of nowhere. Around dusk, we continued on, determined to get home that night. Ryder stayed beside me, matching his stride to mine, asking often if I was okay. I didn’t tell him that the pain in my ribs was excruciating or that my finger throbbed. Even the gash on my head ached as my sunburn started to pull the scab apart. I wanted to see my father so I dealt with the pain.
Ryder and I only exchanged a few words as we walked. Despite last night, I still didn’t know where I stood with him and now I worried about what would happen when we got home. Would we act as if nothing happened or would we continue this non–relationship, physical thing we had going on? I had questions but no answers.
The sun went down in a blaze of pinks and purples. It was beautiful and aw
e–inspiring but I couldn’t enjoy it. It seemed unfair to enjoy something so beautiful when millions would start dying soon from dehydration or hunger. I just wanted to go back in time to when the only thing I had to worry about was studying and completing my hospital rotations. Now I had to worry about surviving.
Night fell quickly, leaving only moonlight to light our way. I had no idea where we were until Brody stopped to check the map.
“Eagle Pass is up ahead,” he said. “If we go around, it’ll add hours to our time. If we go straight through town, we’ll cut our time in half.” He looked over at us in the dark. “What do you want to do?”
Ryder took off his hat and ran fingers through his sweat–drenched hair. He glanced over at me with concern, looking exhausted with the weight of both our backpacks wearing him down.
“I think we better go through town. Maddie looks terrible,” he said.
Yeah, I was exhausted and pain raked my body but really — terrible?
“I’m willing to fight any crazies to get home,” Eva said, readjusting her backpack on her shoulders. "I’m just that desperate."
“Then let’s do this,” Brody said, the decision made.
An hour later, we arrived on the outskirts of Eagle Pass. The town was completely in the dark. No streetlights shined down at us and no bright lights glared from storefront windows. The silence was oppressive, a physical being that enclosed us in its clutches.
“This is something out of a horror movie,” Eva whispered as we passed a grocery store that was completely destroyed. All the windows were shattered and the doors were hanging from their hinges. Empty boxes and trash littered the parking lot along with a couple of abandoned cars. Somewhere in the distance, a woman screamed. The sound sent a cold shiver up my spine.
As we drew closer to the center of town we saw hundreds of men, women, and children lingering around the large stone courthouse. Voices reached out to us. Talking, shouting, and crying. Some held candles and others were lucky enough to have flashlights. There were so many people that they blocked our path. We would have to walk through the cluster of bodies.
Ryder grabbed my hand and laced his fingers through mine.