by M. Q. Barber
He beheld Jay’s guileless face through narrowed eyes. So little talent for subterfuge, yet something was most certainly afoot. Sighing, he kissed his submissive’s forehead. “Thank you for trying. That’s all I ask. Let’s meet another young woman, shall we?”
A coiled pile of blond braids caught his eye.
“Come along.” He held out his hand, and Jay seized it. He gave the younger man a reassuring squeeze. “Remember to assert yourself, please.”
He wove through the crowd with his submissive matching his steps.
The statuesque blonde preferred a vinyl look. Striking when captured in a single moment, but a burden for lengthy scenes. The mix of talc and sweat beneath unbreathable fabric didn’t appeal. Still, the thigh-high black boots and matching opera gloves made a lovely frame for the pink baby-doll nightie swaying about her hips. He intended to show Jay a variety, and so he would.
“Silke, if you’ve a moment for us now?”
Turning, the blonde displayed a brilliant smile and no small amount of cleavage. “Henry, as if you need to ask. You know I always have time for you. This is your new boy?”
“Indeed he is. Silke, this is Jay.” He squeezed Jay’s hand and let go. “Jay, say hello to Mistress Silke, please.”
“Is your name really silky?”
He growled out the boy’s name in warning. Silke wouldn’t take offense during this exercise, but God forbid Jay behave in such a way outside his presence.
“Is yours a name or a letter, little boy?” Silke leaned into his submissive’s space.
Jay didn’t back away. Progress on one front, though they’d have to review the precise meaning of “assertive” and where it intersected with “courtesy” and “respect.”
“I’m not little, I’m Master Henry’s.” Jay stood tall, squaring his shoulders, and Henry breathed easier.
“Well then, Master-Henry’s-Jay.” She teased out the syllables in a singsong rhythm. “What interests you? What are you seeking to play with?”
Jay’s gaze flicked to his master.
Trepidation stole over him. The urge to pre-empt Jay’s answer had him stretching out a hand without conscious thought.
“Do you have a cock, Mistress? Because that’s what I really want. One especially.”
He gripped Jay’s elbow. “You’ll apologize to Silke for your manners tonight.”
Jay gazed at him with wounded incomprehension. “But I said what I wanted.”
The beginnings of a headache pulsed behind his eyes. Jay had followed his instructions. In the rudest way possible, and with a single-minded focus that betrayed just how deeply he’d bound this submissive to him despite every promise he’d made to himself not to.
Light laughter halted his self-recrimination.
“He’s fine, Henry. I won’t fault your boy for a bit of cheekiness. The feisty ones are more fun.”
“Thank you, Silke. Nevertheless, the boy will apologize not for what he said, but for his rudeness. Jay.”
“I’m sorry for how I said what I said, Mistress.” Jay shifted his weight and dipped his head.
“Apology accepted, Master-Henry’s-boy.” Silke flashed a raised eyebrow at Henry and tilted her head toward his submissive. You’ve got your hands full, her look said. “To answer your impertinent question, I’m cis, not trans, so no, I don’t have a bio cock. But I own more than enough cocks big enough to peg your slender frame.”
Jay said nothing, but neither did his body tense. Odd. Given Cal’s assault, the suggestion of anal play should have drawn a strong negative reaction.
“Is that what you want, Jay?” Silke cajoled. “A nice strong mistress pegging you all night?”
“If that makes you happy, Mistress,” Jay mumbled.
Another failure. Wonderful. Jay had no filters, no concept of the sweet spot. He blundered about like Goldilocks in a stranger’s home, first too submissive, then too assertive, then submissive once more. He required a better understanding of just right.
“No, he won’t be trying it tonight.” Henry smiled despite the headache now throbbing. “Please excuse us, Silke.”
“Of course, Henry. When he’s ready to try it, I’d be happy to give him a lesson, but I suspect you already have plans to fill that position yourself.” She winked at him and returned to her prowl. She’d find a partner before the end of the night with no trouble if she chose. Silke always did.
He stepped in front of his submissive. “Define ‘pegging’ for me.”
Jay squirmed under his gaze and refused to meet his eyes. Shrugging, he whispered, “I dunno, Master Henry.”
“You agreed to play a game without knowing what it entails.” He tried, he truly did, to keep anger and fear from leaking into his voice.
“I, I got nervous. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t help it, Master Henry. I just . . . couldn’t.”
A “yes” would always be easier for Jay than a “no.” The desire to agree, to please, was hard-wired into him. Part of the canvas rather than the paint.
“Do you understand how that behavior terrifies me, my boy? I want you safe.” He shoved aside an image of Jay leashed to his bed until he’d learned how to conduct himself. Such an energetic man wouldn’t do well denied an outlet for his excitement.
“I know. You said.” Jay’s flat delivery teetered toward depression. “You want me safe so you can leave me.”
Pain. Pain like the dull scrape of a palette knife peeling his skin one layer at a time. He’d never told Jay in so many words, and now he’d hurt him by leaving room for too much confusion and misinterpretation between them.
“I thought I did, that’s true.” He lowered his voice, mindful of the people milling around them, an uncomfortable oasis in a sea of sensuality. “But not because you are in any way lacking.”
He tugged at Jay’s wrist and stepped closer. “I stress safety with you, both asserting yourself in negotiation and using your safeword in scenes, precisely because you have such difficulty displeasing others.”
Failing to teach Jay these skills, to make him understand the power he held, was unthinkable. Jay’s needs would never be met. He’d be prey for any less than ethical dominant. A constant temptation.
“A dominant’s role is to make fantasies real. If you describe your fantasies to me, I may choose whether to enact them. If I describe mine to you, you will agree with them simply to agree. I must be so very careful with you, my precious boy.”
Jay’s hoarse cries yet haunted his dreams. Watching him return to the same treatment because he’d failed to teach him better would be intolerable. Conceding on this point wasn’t possible, even if he kept Jay himself. For Jay’s safety and his own sanity.
Nightmare scenarios swept through him in a flash flood. If he let Jay out of his sight and found him bloodied in the hands of another. If he forgot himself and Jay feared to safeword.
Jay needed to learn that his own needs mattered. That his master ought to consider them—to put them first, in a sense, because there could be no dominance without submission. Jay’s self-worth was so low, but he craved better. Henry refused to fail him in this. He refused to become the man wielding the whip in Jay’s nightmares.
Swallowing hard, he shook his head. “Would you have me become your abuser, my boy? Is that the role you envision for me?”
White-faced, the shadows beneath his eyes standing out like bruises, Jay whipped his head in a firm no.
“I’m sorry, Master Henry.” The thickness in his voice presaged sobs. “I was being selfish. I didn’t think about how I’m burdening you. I thought it was just about other people. I’ll try harder. I swear I will.”
Wrapping his arms around his companion, Henry hummed a few measures of calming nonsense. “You are no burden but a gift. The harder you try, the better you will protect that gift.”
Once Jay understood his own strength, he could make a proper choice for himself. Be selective. And, perhaps, choose to stay with him. The choice must be Jay’s, even if it was the on
ly one he made for himself from that point forward, else the submission was meaningless. Not a gift but an edict Jay felt compelled to follow.
“Master Henry?”
The whisper at his throat almost made the pain at his temples tolerable. “Yes?”
“What game did I agree to play?”
He sighed. “Pegging is a form of anal penetration, my boy. Silke was offering to don a harness with a dildo and take you.”
Jay shuddered in his arms. “I don’t, I don’t wanna do that, Master Henry.”
“No, I know, my sweet boy.”
No anal play. No bondage. No impact play. No verbal degradation or humiliation. Nothing overtly childish.
With so many options blocked off for now, Jay would have trouble finding another suitable partner at the club. Or at least finding one who wouldn’t require things he shouldn’t give but would give anyway at the first hint of a request.
His submissive wasn’t ready for negotiations. Continuing would be pointless. He ought to have called a halt to the night from the beginning. Selfish to allow Jay to play at his level of exhaustion. He’d let his own desire to spend time in Jay’s company overrule his judgment. The right thing to do now was to take the younger man downstairs, hand over his set of sheets, and send him home to bed.
He rubbed Jay’s back, hard and swift, before putting distance between them.
“Finally!” The familiar drawl came from behind him. “I thought you’d never stop hugging that adorable half-naked boy, Henry. However am I to seduce him away when you’ve unfairly imbalanced the playing field?”
“Not tonight, please, Will.” He turned to greet his oldest friend. “We’ve changed our plan for the evening.”
“Ah, stealing the boy away for some private time, are you? Well, I’d hardly blame you.” Will’s broad smile formed a slash of pink peeking out above his blond beard before he flashed white teeth. “Will you at least make introductions before you spirit him away? I really must meet the boy who has so captivated you for weeks now. We haven’t watched a performance together in two months, so single-minded you’ve been about seeing this boy.”
He would have ignored the teasing pokes, apologized to Will for the waste of his time tonight, and walked away were it not for Jay. He hung on Will’s every word, casting glances up from his bowed head, standing taller as every sentence registered.
“The boy must have magical properties, Henry. Not to worry, I’ll ferret out the spell he’s keeping you under if you’ll only introduce us.” Will rubbed his hands together with undisguised glee.
The crashing in his skull resembled a toddler with a drum kit. Will’s playfulness wouldn’t improve on the situation, but the man had been closer to him than a brother since they were eleven years old. And Jay wore a small smile. With the rest of the night having gone so abysmally, anything making his submissive smile was worth suffering through.
“Will, please meet Jay, my very best boy who’s having a bit of difficulty with his instructions tonight. Jay, please say hello to my good friend Master William.”
Jay squared his shoulders and took a breath. “I’m honored to meet you, Master William. I hope, umm, I hope my behavior brings pride to my master.”
Blinking back his shock, Henry halted the tic in his neck attempting to whip his head around to gape. Was Jay finally giving this exercise the seriousness it deserved? God knew Will didn’t know the meaning of the word. He’d test Jay’s responses with proper care, but seriousness had never settled well on Will’s shoulders.
“I’m certain it must, young Jay.” Will extended his hand, pulling back as Jay’s hand twitched and started to rise. “Terribly sorry, what was I thinking? I know better than to touch a red-ribboned boy without his master’s permission. I’m lucky to be speaking to you at all, aren’t I? No doubt your master is enormously protective of you. It must be quite boring for an exciting boy like yourself, wouldn’t you say?”
Jay shook his head like a dog emerging from a pond. “No, not at all, Master William. Being with Master Henry is the best.”
“Is it, now?” Will shot a glance at Henry from beneath raised eyebrows. “He’s not a complete Grinch who won’t let you play in any reindeer games?”
“Says Santa Claus himself,” Henry murmured.
Jay chuckled before he caught himself and regained his composure.
Will winked. “You need more jolliness in your life, Henry. This one’s all but gift-wrapped for you, I’d say.” Leaning toward the younger man, Will lowered his voice. “A little cricket chirped in my ear that you look simply divine in a suit. Do you enjoy dressing to impress your dominants, young Jay?”
When had Will spoken to Emma? What else might she have mentioned?
Jay held steady, accepting the intrusion into his space without flinching. “I always want to look my best for Master Henry, sir. His opinion is the most important thing to me.”
Nodding, Will backed off. “I’ve always found him a snappy dresser, if a bit fussy. Has Henry’s neatness gotten to be too much for you?”
“No, sir, not at all. I’m happy I have Master Henry to teach me and give me tasks. He hands out the best praise after.”
Jay’s shy smile eased his heart. Perhaps he’d been wrong to present his submissive to women first. Or perhaps his own comfort with Will—nonthreatening, would-never-steal-his-boy Will—transmitted to Jay as well.
“So Henry’s a kind master, then? Are you looking for the same treatment or different treatment from a new dominant?”
“The same, sir. The exact same. Master Henry is ideal.”
“I can’t imagine why you’d be looking for a new one if Henry’s so perfect for you. Are you sure you want to leave him, young Jay?”
“Will,” he growled, as Jay vigorously shook his head. “If you won’t take this seriously, you’re no help to the boy.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that, Henry. I think we’ve negotiated exactly what the boy wants.”
Grinning broadly, Jay glanced at his master and cleared his throat. “Master William, can I ask you something?”
The pounding in Henry’s head grew. With Will’s teasing encouragement for a guide, Jay might conjure new levels of disobedient rudeness.
“Young Jay, my ears are burning with anticipation. You may.”
“How do you feel about safewords, sir? My safety is important, and I won’t risk it with just anybody.”
He itched to clap, to pull Jay into an embrace, to fuse their lips and growl a challenge to every man and woman in the room. His beautiful student had learned well.
“What an intelligent and thoughtful question to ask. Someone must have been paying attention to his lessons.” Will’s approving smile would surely boost Jay’s confidence. “They are imperative, of course. I control my lovely pets, but only with their consent.”
Will extended three fingers and ticked them off one by one. “My submissives must be able to tell me their safeword, their preferred reward, and their hard limits without hesitation before negotiations even begin. Knowledge is power, young Jay, and like your master, I prefer to have as much power in my hands as possible. Has he asked those things of you?”
Henry refrained from snorting. As if he’d asked anything but.
“He keeps asking, Master William.” Jay peeked at his master and gave a sheepish shrug. “I’m trying. I don’t know all my answers yet.”
“Ah, more lessons to come. This must be a thrilling time for you both. The rush of excitement.” Will delivered an exaggerated sigh. “How sad for it to come to an end. That’s the way of submissives, always moving on to greener pastures. You’ll be a confident boy seeking a better master soon enough, won’t you, Jay?”
“There aren’t any better masters than mine,” Jay retorted with heat. He froze in the midst of shifting his weight. “Um, I mean, I’m sure you’re good, too, sir.”
Will guffawed, his booming laughter drawing glances from the players nearby. “No, no, you’re quite right, and your loyalt
y is a credit to your master’s care of you and a testament to your devotion.”
Henry breathed easier. Jay had survived. Stood up for himself. Remembered to ask about safewords. A solid beginning.
Will rounded on him. “Well, if it’s not the boy’s choice, it must be yours. Why are you trying to foist this boy off on me, Henry? Is he secretly disobedient?” He piled on teasing questions with all the subtlety of a punch to the jaw. “Have you grown tired of him? Is his sweetness too overwhelming for you?”
Amusement dissipated. The night had been long enough. He wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with his submissive at his side. Yet another desire destined to go unfulfilled.
“He is the perfect model of submission, Will. I won’t play this game with you. I had my fill of it at dinner.”
Jay cocked his head.
Wonderful. Now he’d made the younger man wonder how he’d spent his dinner hour and why they hadn’t been together. Misstep after misstep tonight.
“You’ll make the boy play a game you won’t play yourself? Tsk tsk. Bad form, Henry. If you can’t stand the heat, why are you shoving the boy into the kitchen?”
Squinting, he pressed two fingers to his forehead in a brief search for relief. “Quite right, Will. The boy’s had enough of the kitchen tonight, and so have I. Say good night, Gracie.”
He mustered up half a smile for his oldest friend, but Will dropped his joking demeanor in an instant. Once laughing eyes showed concern as he stepped closer.
“Good night, Henry,” Will murmured. He clasped Henry’s bicep, a quick squeeze. “You look a bit ragged. An early night would do you good. We ought to meet for lunch next week. I’ll call you.”
Backing away, Will gave Jay a flashy bow, his trademark grin back in place. “Jay, it was a delight to meet such a fine submissive with a level head about what he wants. I hope to have many opportunities to see you with your master in the future.”
Jay dragged his feet on the steps.
Henry doubted lingering petulance contributed to the faltering stride. Jay had perked up under Will’s questioning. Enjoyed seeing the tables turned and his master needled, perhaps, or needed the lighthearted attention.