by M. Q. Barber
“You are not wrong, dearest.” Shame and confusion, as he’d expected. “You’ve been made to think and feel things, and you haven’t been given the time to discover which things are the ones you want and how you feel about them with so much unpleasantness layered overtop.”
They could work through this. They would work through this.
“We’re going to dig, Jay, until we find the shining boy beneath.” He nudged forward, the gentle pressure of foreheads and noses aligned. “You’ve shown me pieces of him, and he is a wondrous delight.”
“We’ll do it together? You promise?”
“I promise.” He spoke it as a solemn vow. “We will write up a contract.”
His first. He’d played with dozens over the years, but their engagements had been defined by these walls. Outside the club, he’d played with submissives bound to Victor’s contracts. Never had he offered one of his own devising. Seen the potential and felt the desire for a long-term relationship. This commitment would be a serious one.
“Beginning with no bondage and no whipping of any sort until I judge you ready to try playing again. Control only. You will submit to me, and you’ll be my good boy. My Jay.”
Em would be insufferable for months, but having Jay would be well worth her smug-but-affectionate teasing. He’d been sketching the truth like mad in the last few weeks, hoping against hope the opportunity, the relationship, might come to fruition. One piece in particular—Jay’s back, healed, beautiful and strong, shoulders firm with just the hint of a bowed neck—he would paint for certain. Have Jay sit for it, perhaps, if he could manage to be still.
Photographs. He’d have his darling muse sit for references. Tomorrow? They might spend the day together, in this new contract he envisioned. He kissed the tip of Jay’s nose and pulled back to study him.
“More than we have now, Master Henry?” Jay curled his fingers into the fabric of Henry’s shirt. “I want more time with you than just our Fridays. I could come here on more nights, give you more control. Please.”
“Being here is unhealthy for you, and it likely contributes to your nightmares.” He’d watched Jay take an enormous step in the proper direction tonight, but he wouldn’t risk a setback.
“We’ll find an arrangement that suits us both, but I will not negotiate on this point.” Not with Cal’s imminent return and the potential for Jay to set his feet on those stairs. “You will not enter this club or any other until I deem it appropriate for you to do so.”
He’d wanted complete control for weeks. Jay had granted it on their first night out of ignorance, a vulnerability Henry refused to capitalize upon. Jay knew what he offered now. He understood. He’d had a taste of the trust required and the rewards to be gained. If still he offered it....
The heady desire for that mix of power and responsibility coursed through Henry’s blood.
“Not come here at all? You mean like, like hotel rooms? And I can’t give you the things everyone here wants?” Shaking his head, Jay yet clutched his chest. “But you’ll. . . .”
“I will what, brave boy?” He matched Jay’s movement, capturing the skittish gaze and holding it.
“You’ll get tired of me,” Jay whispered. “If I’m not a good player. If I can’t do the things you want.”
“You grant me complete control over your sex life, Jay. You allow me to care for you as I think best. Your submission is as lovely as you are, and worth so much more than a few hours here or there spent with other willing subs.”
A true relationship demanded honesty. Not only from his submissive, but from himself. Jay would come to know him. Best to start with the truths that would comfort his boy.
“I make their fantasies real for them in the physical world, and I imagine my own. Long-term control over your life so I might care for you properly is no small thing, yet you’re willing to offer me that.” Running his fingers along the side of Jay’s neck provided for his own comfort. The rough edge of emotion deepened his voice. “The question is not how can you compete with the others here, my dear boy. It is how shall they ever again compete with you?”
With wide eyes and blushing skin, Jay wriggled his happy-puppy wriggle and offered a beatific smile. “Thank you, Master Henry.”
He paused to savor Jay’s reverent joy. The urge to steal a kiss proved too strong. He kept it soft and shallow. They had things yet to discuss.
“And we will not be playing in hotels. Only the best will do for my boy. We will play in my home, Jay.”
Jaw dropping open, Jay exhaled on a whimper. “You—me—at your—”
More squirming, and Henry struggled not to laugh at the stupefied wonder filling brown eyes. Jay’s erection brushing his hip helped quash amusement, though the arousal constituted a greater temptation.
Jay narrowed his eyes. “I get to sleep in your bed. All weekend.”
Oh-ho. A haggler, was he? The confidence reeled him in, a powerful aphrodisiac. How much greater the pleasure in accepting the gift when he knew his lover craved it, too.
“Friday and Saturday. You’ll sleep in your own bed on work nights.” For now.
“I get to take the sheets with me.”
“Agreed. You’ll perform housekeeping tasks under my direction while in my home.”
“Agreed. You won’t abandon me if I’m bad.”
Quite the leap. A deep emotional need, then. Did Jay associate the poor completion of chores with abandonment? Always more questions to answer. No, he wouldn’t grow tired of loving this man.
“You’re not a bad boy, Jay. And I won’t abandon you, so long as you agree to one condition.”
“Any—” Jay stopped, controlled himself, and started again. “I’m not allowed to agree to conditions before I know what they are.”
“No, you are not. It’s good of you to remember that, my bright boy.” Gripping Jay’s head, he held him still and delivered a punishing, rewarding kiss.
Jay whimpered and thrust, grinding his cock with delightful, raw need.
“The condition is this: You will not lie to me. Neither by commission nor omission. If I ask how you feel about something, you will tell me without prevarication. If something upsets you and I do not ask, you will bring it to my attention. If ever you wish to alter or leave this arrangement, you will inform me immediately.”
“I won’t want to leave.” Jay’s firm tone and solid stare allowed no sliver of doubt. He believed his words in his bones. “But I agree to your condition, Master Henry. And I have one of my own.”
“Do you now?” Wonderful. No matter what ups and downs the future held, his boy could learn to be safe and assertive. The core of strength he’d glimpsed truly existed in brilliant color. “Let’s hear it.”
“I get to suck your cock.” A smirk edged across Jay’s face. “I’ve been waiting eight weeks.”
Jay had done the work. He’d made progress. His submission was consensual now, his desire pure and well-formed.
Henry let the leash slip on his own eagerness.
“As have I. As have I.” He settled into a low-slung seat and dropped a throw pillow at his feet. “On your knees. You’ve earned your reward.”
Jay stepped forward and knelt, his body the smooth glide of a single brushstroke, the first on a new canvas. Such a magnificent man gazing up at him with adoration and resting trembling hands on his thighs.
“Thank you, Master Henry.” Jay parted kiss-swollen lips. “I won’t disappoint you.”
“No, I know you won’t, dear boy. You please me very much, Jay.” He ran his fingers over Jay’s and lifted them to his belt. “In your own time. This gift is yours.”
He let go, leaving the first step to the young man who’d anticipated this moment for so long. Time enough for demands on another night. Tonight, he’d see the truth of what Jay wanted, undiluted by his direct guidance.
Nimble fingers made quick work of his belt and parted his slacks with a speed borne of anxious excitement. Jay’s unwavering stare at his erect cock pushing
through the flap of his boxers dragged a low growl from his chest. The slide of silk wouldn’t compare with his lover’s mouth.
Gentle hands dipped inside his boxers, silk parting to allow his cock and balls to emerge.
Jay tucked his slacks beneath both.
The slight pressure of taut fabric under his balls urged him to shift his hips, widening the space between his thighs. The space Jay occupied.
Strong, slender hands cupped the pulse driving Henry’s body.
Jay bowed his head and lowered his face. The slow slide of his cheek along the side of Henry’s arousal whispered of exultation. He nudged the base with his nose and inhaled. His shoulders pulled back as his ribs expanded, the deep breath followed by a pause.
Henry, too, held his breath, the moment too important for words or even breathing. Time hung suspended like a prayer between them.
Jay shuddered and exhaled on a long, whimpering moan. Extending his tongue, he traced the shaft toward the tip. His gaze flicked upward with anxious hunger.
Henry met Jay’s look with an encouraging smile. The teasing warmth of the tongue circling the head of his cock burned through him with the promise of more.
No demands, not tonight, but praise, yes, he might sing his lover’s praises. Sing, O goddess, the love of Henry, master to Jay, that brings countless joys upon their household.
“Do you know how beautiful you are to me, sweet boy?” He threaded his fingers through the short, dark hair above Jay’s ear. “Your head bows with such honor and grace over your master’s lap.”
Jay moaned and closed his mouth around the object of his worship.
Warmth and waves of suction pulled Henry in, narrowed his focus to the pleasure Jay delivered with enthusiasm and exquisite timing.
“Your tongue dances in delightful rhythm, the fulfillment of a promise long desired.”
He snapped an image of each moment, perfection captured in memory. Dark hair waving atop a head bobbing slow and steady. Strong lines, the tendons in an arching neck standing out each time Jay adjusted his angle. Shadowed depths in cheeks hollowing on each pull.
Lovely, each piece an aspect of the whole. His beloved boy. Desire surged. He fought to maintain the gentleness of his grip. No force, no pain, no rushing Jay’s obvious enjoyment, his sweet whimpers and squirming body.
Splaying his fingers, Henry slipped his palm down the curve of Jay’s neck and out toward his shoulder. Back and forth, stroking, he matched Jay’s speed to stop himself from clenching down tight and thrusting into that glorious pull.
“So close, Jay,” he murmured. “Your gift leaves me at your mercy. This choice is yours. One we both embrace.”
Pressure gripped him, an unexpected push rolling up the underside of his shaft. He groaned.
His brilliant lover repeated the trick, faster. A slip of the tongue, firm and heated, where shaft met head.
Need squeezed his awareness. Urgency built. Tension raced up his shaft and gathered at the tip.
“Now,” he growled, control failing as orgasm rushed through him. “My Jay. Mine.”
Jay pushed forward, draining his master’s offering without needing to be told, singing in happy little whines all the while. Slim shoulders vibrated under Henry’s hand. More excitement than his dear one might reasonably contain. He tugged his lover from his cock with a gentle pull.
“Up.” He kissed him with deep possession, pouring out his strength and contentment to seep into Jay’s soul. You are loved, my boy. So very much. “Sit with me. I want to see your chest gleaming with your own pleasure.”
Yanking the pouch at the front of Jay’s shorts spilled his lover’s cock into his waiting hand. Five strokes proved enough to ease Jay’s release and streak his skin.
“Mmm, we’ve made a lovely mess of you, haven’t we?” He licked Jay’s neck, following the cord of muscle to the underside of his ear.
His lover tasted of salt and smelled of sex and earthy musk.
“Perhaps we’ll have a quick shower here before I take you home to my bed for unspeakable delights.”
Jay wiggled in a half-turn, his expression becoming serious. No, not quite—twitching at the corners of his mouth and the pleased squint of his eyes gave him away.
“I’m not allowed to go home with strangers.” A hint of coyness lurked in Jay’s smile. “My master says it’s not safe.”
Was anything more beautiful than the post-orgasm flush of confidence on his lover’s face? Jay felt comfortable enough to tease without fear. He nuzzled Jay’s cheek, aware of his own utter infatuation and uncaring.
“Perhaps we won’t tell him.” He traced Jay’s ear with his tongue. “You’d keep a secret from your master for me, wouldn’t you?”
Shaking his head, Jay squirmed in his arms and pushed at his chest with faux force. “I’d never lie to my master. I only have two rules to follow so far, and I don’t wanna break them.”
“Two? Is that so?” Nipping Jay’s ear, he reminded himself not to progress things too far. His bed waited for them at home. Home. Where he’d be taking his lover. New flutters of desire stirred in his softening cock. “Name them for me, Jay.”
“No lying, and safety first.”
Concise. His delightful partner had a way of simplifying complexity. “Mmm. So what will we do about this pesky problem? I’d dearly love to take you home with me tonight.”
“I maybe—”
Jay gasped, and Henry released his earlobe with reluctance. Distract him with too much foreplay, and he’d lose this time to truly get to know his Jay. The almost-confident joker. The sweet, obedient lover.
“Maybe know somebody I can call to confirm my safety after.”
“Do you?” He’d keel over in shock if Jay had confided in a friend about his new lifestyle. They’d made strides, yes, but they hadn’t yet leapt canyons.
Jay nodded. “She’s great at helping a boy dress right for his master. But I think she might be tied up all night.”
He chuckled. Emma, of course. Jay had teased with nary a tremble at the idea of his friend enjoying bondage. Perhaps the night’s example had helped more than he’d thought.
Inevitable, he supposed, given he’d all but pushed them together by entrusting Jay’s basic table protocol training to her every other week. For all that Emma had been his own friend for a dozen years, Jay couldn’t have found a better advocate—nor a more discreet one. She wouldn’t hesitate to call Henry out if she believed he’d misstepped.
He kissed his lover with closed lips. “Indeed, I expect she will.”
He’d discuss boundaries with her next week if Victor approved, but fostering a mentoring relationship between them might help Jay shed the shame he carried. Submissive as she was to Victor, he’d seen her deliver scathing set-downs to subs and doms who needed a kick in the pants—and been on the receiving end more than once, years ago—and shame had never been in her lexicon. His lover needed good examples. He’d grow into his own skin with time.
“We’ll leave a note for her master at the desk and ask one of them to call my phone at noon tomorrow to check on you, shall we?”
Jay vibrated, his eyes alight. “I guess I’ll have to stay with you at least until noon, then, Master Henry.”
“At least noon,” he murmured. “Perhaps we’d best make it later in the day. After dinner.”
“Or Sunday, Master Henry.” Jay curled closer, his fingers drifting across his master’s groin. “I like to worship on Sundays, too.”
Or forever, my beautiful boy. With luck, they’d find the right balance to bind them that long.
“Sunday,” he agreed. It was a beginning.
Keep reading for a special excerpt of M.Q. Barber’s
HEALING THE WOUNDS
There are no safe words. There is only surrender.
When Alice leapt into sexual games with her neighbors Henry and
Jay, she didn’t plan to fall in love. She sure didn’t expect she’d be
the switch between Henry’s commandi
ng mastery and Jay’s
submissive playfulness. But now she’s moving in with them, and
she’d better figure it all out—fast. Trouble is, she’s never been a
live-in girlfriend. The day after a traumatic first night at a BDSM
club might not be the best time to start. Struggling to find her place
within the lifestyle, Alice seeks equality in a relationship built on
surrender. Learning to lean on Henry challenges the foundation of
her self-worth. He’ll have to lean on her in return for their triad to
find stability. But can her stoic dominant lover accept her as a
confidante as well as a submissive? And will their love be
enough to silence Jay’s emotional ghosts?
A Lyrical e-book and trade paperback on sale now!
Chapter 1
Alice sectioned her pancakes into a neat grid. Focusing on the spongy bounce in the stack kept her hands from trembling. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day. Especially when Henry served the living-together discussion as the main course.
A flip and sizzle sounded from Henry’s spot at the stove. “I believe my studio might be repurposed.”
“Your studio’s already in the smallest room. Alice and I can share closet space. It’s not like we’d sleep there anyway.” Syrup dripped as Jay stopped his pancake-loaded fork halfway to his mouth and twisted around in his seat. “We won’t, will we? You’re not, I mean, your bedroom is—”
“Jay. Don’t borrow trouble, please.” Henry loaded fresh pancakes on the serving plate and turned off the burner. “I would not move Alice into my room and leave you alone.”
“And I wouldn’t let him if he tried.” She shook her head at Jay as he swung around to face the table.