Monika laughed gently and Sadie tried hard not to notice Antonio’s bristling presence at her side. She imagined he must still be glowering, as he had done when she’d come out of the bedroom. What had he expected? That she’d run away and not honour her part of the deal? She would show him she could be as cold as him. Colder even.
She’d stay for the party as he’d asked, hoping that he’d see sense and let her go, let her take Leo and make a peaceful life here in England. She could never be like Monika and Antonio had changed so much from the man she’d fallen in love with. He’d become colder and harder. There was no way love would ever enter their marriage and the only way to protect her heart and shield Leo would be to leave.
‘You are both beautiful.’ Antonio’s deep and accented voice broke through her thoughts as he placed a hand on her shoulder, his touch scorching her skin.
‘Sebastien is in his element,’ Monika said, smiling. ‘All three of his guys, as he calls you, happy and in love.’
She felt Antonio’s eyes rest on her but kept a smile on her lips. She’d act the part of loving wife for just a little while longer, and then it would be over.
Music filled the summer air with soft sensuous strains and Sebastien came to claim Monika for their first dance. Antonio’s hand remained on her shoulder as they gathered round with the other guests to watch.
She could see Cecily, looking utterly glamorous in gold, now thankfully smiling, with Alejandro in close attendance. Her impromptu exit from the horse show that afternoon couldn’t have been anything serious, despite the drama of seeing Alejandro marching off through the crowd with her over his shoulder.
As other couples joined Sebastien and Monika on the dance floor, Antonio took her hand and led her out. His dark and sultry gaze held hers, burning into her, and she suddenly felt shy, lowering her gaze.
He pulled her against him as the music played and each step made her more certain than ever that she had to leave, that she couldn’t be his wife. She couldn’t pretend to love him, not when she did so completely. Neither could she be with a man who condemned and scorned love, a man who’d admitted he wasn’t interested in any such emotion.
She looked up at him, knowing she couldn’t do this any more, thankful she’d had the nerve to put her escape plans into action before putting on her evening dress.
‘I’m leaving tonight, Antonio.’
‘What?’ The word sparked from him angrily.
‘I’m leaving you, Antonio—tonight.’ He just looked down at her, barely a flicker of emotion on his face.
The control of the man was unbelievable. He hadn’t even flinched. If anything, he held her tighter as his head came lower to hers. Was he going to kiss her or did he want to keep this conversation as quiet as possible?
‘And where will you go?’ The granite-hard tones of his voice as he whispered close to her ear gave nothing away and she tried not to shiver as his breath caressed her neck.
‘I have arranged for a taxi to come here tonight and take me back to London. I will stay at your house until Leo wakes in the morning, and then we will go to my parents.’ She still couldn’t understand how she’d been able to make all those arrangements so calmly whilst getting ready for the party, applying the polish required to convince Sebastien and his friends that she and Antonio were in love. ‘I’ve played my part. There is no reason to stay any more.’
‘I won’t allow it.’
She looked up at him, not even aware she’d stopped dancing, not caring that they were drawing attention from those nearby. ‘It is only a matter of time before you want me out of your life so that you can move on, as you did with Eloisa.’
‘That was different.’
‘You didn’t love her. A marriage of convenience, you called it. Just like ours.’
‘I can’t give you anything else, anything more.’
That was it. She knew for certain he could never give her the love she wanted and needed. The love she deserved. And if she stayed married to him, she would die a little more every day. She couldn’t do that to herself, to Leo. She had to leave.
‘Nothing?’ She hated the way her voice trembled, the way that one word was filled with need.
‘I only wanted my son, Sadie.’ She swallowed as the truth left his lips, breaking her heart in two. ‘It was never about us, only Leo.’
Before he could stop her, she rushed from the marquee. She heard Monika call after her, but she didn’t hear Antonio. He didn’t even care enough to stop her. With tears blinding her, she took off her heels, held them in one hand and hitched up her dress with the other and ran barefoot across the cool grass and into the darkness of the night.
All she wanted was to get away from everyone. She wanted peace and quiet to lick her wounds, and then she would return to London to fetch Leo.
* * *
Antonio stood and watched Sadie as she ran across the lawns as if the devil himself was after her. Did she hate him that much? He’d hurt her; he’d seen it in her eyes. He’d wanted to tell her that his first marriage had been different because he hadn’t loved Eloisa. He’d wanted to admit that although getting Leo in his life had made him demand marriage, all that had now changed, but the words had dried on his tongue as he’d finally realised the truth.
He loved Sadie.
He took a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and downed it in one go. What had stopped him telling her? Fear of rejection? Fear of love?
‘Where is your beautiful wife?’ Sebastien asked as he joined him and handed him a glass of whisky, a silent agreement between them that champagne wasn’t of any use in this situation.
Antonio looked into the darkness and the emptiness of the lawns which Sadie had just run across, which matched the aching in his heart. Beside him, he was aware of Sebastien watching, ever patient, as he tried to deal with the magnitude of what he’d been denying himself for far too long.
‘I’m not sure she wants to be known as my wife,’ Antonio finally replied, the realisation that he’d lost Sadie for good finally sinking in. The woman he loved was walking out of his life for ever.
‘So you have yet to fully succeed in the challenge,’ Sebastien goaded, and Antonio glowered at him, hardly aware of the party going on around them—or the speculative glances from Stavros and Alejandro.
‘It appears that way. It was never about going without our wealth, was it, Sebastien?’ Antonio spoke in a low voice, not wanting anyone to hear the exchange. ‘Tell me, did you really not know about Leo?’
‘Your son? No.’ Sebastien put a hand on his back and guided him out of the marquee, away from prying eyes and gossiping tongues. ‘I wanted you to find what I’d found with Monika and I knew there was only one woman who would do. You told me about her after the avalanche, told me that Sadie was the only woman you’d ever really wanted. I thought you were telling me you loved her.’
‘Love and want are two different things,’ Antonio said as the sound of the party dimmed the further they walked across the softness of the lawn, the strings of twinkling lights illuminating the gardens in a romantic, dreamy kind of way that didn’t match his mood.
‘When you told me about her, I could see it in your eyes, Antonio. I can remember it now, as if you’d just told me. You weren’t telling me you wanted her—you were telling me you loved her. That’s why I made her the centre of your challenge, and from the look on her face before she left just now, she loves you too.’
‘I’m not able to love. I don’t even know what it feels like. All I know is that I can’t let her leave. I can’t live without her.’ The confession tore from him, followed by sheer panic.
Sebastien didn’t say a word. He stopped walking and raised his brows, looking intently at him, and Antonio looked away across the gardens, his mood becoming ever darker and more thunderous.
He did know what love felt like, if only he’d allowed himself to admit it. It felt like Sadie’s gentle caress. It sounded like her laughter and it smelt like her floral scent. It tast
ed like her kiss.
He shoved his fingers through his hair, cursing wildly in Italian, then he looked at Sebastien. ‘I’ve been a damn fool. I love her and I want her in my life—always.’
‘Then go and make that happen. Open your heart, Antonio, let her in. Let love in.’ Sebastien’s words silenced any further response, but what he’d said had unlocked something. He loved Sadie. He loved her with all his heart and wanted her love—a love she’d tried to give him, a love he’d rejected.
Was he too late? Had she walked out of his life for good?
* * *
Sadie all but collapsed as she entered the house, now silent as everyone was in the marquee, celebrating love—something she couldn’t be part of any more. It hurt too much when she knew her love would never be returned.
She sat on the bottom step, her spirit broken. She’d gambled with love and lost everything. She slumped over her knees and tried to regain her composure, taking deep breaths. In a minute she’d go up and change, leave behind anything that was the Sadie she’d been trying to be for the man she loved and be herself again. Single mother to Leo.
Then she’d go to London and fetch Leo, start her life afresh.
A tear escaped her as she thought of her son, so far away.
She clenched her fingers into a tight ball and bit down on a tightly curled finger to stifle the sobs which threatened, but it was no use, tears spilled out and down her cheeks.
Were they tears for Leo? Tears for Antonio? Or tears for her unrequited love?
She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. There would be plenty of time for crying later. She had to pull herself together, get back her control, and right now she had to get away from here, away from the man who’d married her as part of some stupid challenge.
As the pain of that thought blended with anger and shame, she sat huddled on the bottom step for several minutes, willing calmness to seep into her. She opened her eyes and looked down at the white marble floor, cool beneath her bare feet. Then she saw the front of a pair of polished black shoes come into her line of vision.
With a gasp of shock she sat upright and looked up at Antonio. He still looked magnificently sexy in his black tuxedo, but his hair was slightly ruffled and his handsome face marred by a dark scowl. This was the last thing she’d wanted—facing him again.
‘Nothing you can say will change my mind. It’s over. We’re over.’ A fierce need to protect herself made her words razor-sharp, but he remained before her, his dark eyes watching her intently. Damn the man, did he not have even a drop of emotion in him?
‘I have cancelled the taxi.’ The command in his voice rang out around the hall, echoing in her heart and her mind.
‘What?’ That was all she could manage to say. She was virtually speechless. The arrogance of the man.
‘I have sent it away.’ Still he stood towering over her, dominating every breath she took, every beat of her heart.
‘Why?’ What was the matter with her? Why couldn’t she say more than one word at a time?
‘Let me help you up,’ he said as he reached out a hand to her, his gaze moving quickly to her discarded shoes on the step beside her and then back to her face.
‘I can manage just fine without your help.’ She speared the words at him as she put her shoes back on and stood up on the bottom step, putting her a mere inch taller than him. ‘I’ve done that for the last four years and I will continue to do so.’
‘You can’t go, Sadie.’ He looked up at her, his hand still holding hers, and her heart flipped over with a jolt of hope. Quickly she dashed it away. There wasn’t any hope.
‘I have to.’ Her voice faltered to a whisper and she took in a long deep breath, desperate to stay in control—of herself and this situation. ‘I can’t live like this. I can’t be what you want me to be.’
‘Sadie, you can’t go. I can’t let you.’ Antonio looked at her and for the first time ever she saw uncertainty in his eyes. Again that jolt of hope lurched forwards.
She shook her head and tried to pull her hand away. She was just imagining things, seeing what she wanted to see.
‘I don’t belong in your world, Antonio, and neither does Leo. Our lives are very different and even if they weren’t I can’t live the lie that our marriage has become.’
‘Sadie,’ he said quickly, snatching her attention back to him, ‘you can’t go because I love you.’
‘But...’ Her words faltered to a halt as she looked down at him, seeing something other than uncertainty in those dark eyes.
‘I love you.’ He took her other hand, pulling her closer to him. Stray strands of her hair fell around her face and she blinked in shock. Still she sought to protect her breaking heart.
‘You don’t believe in love.’
‘No, Sadie. I had just never opened my eyes or my heart to it. I’d never let it in my life—ever. That weekend we were first together, you showed me then what love was, but still I scorned it.’
‘Why now?’ she asked in a tremulous whisper, remembering the challenge Sebastien had set them to find the kind of love he and Monika had. ‘Because of the challenge?’
‘Because I’ve been a fool. I love you, Sadie, and have done since the very first day we met.’
‘You love me?’ She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He loved her. It was all she’d ever wanted to hear.
‘But I don’t belong in your world, Antonio. I can’t be what you want in a wife because I want to love and be loved—truly loved. So does Leo.’
He brushed his palm over her cheek and she swallowed hard and looked into his dark eyes, now full of something so very different from the desire she’d seen last night. They were full of love—for her.
‘The woman I love belongs in my life and I will do anything for that honour. Sadie, can you ever forgive me?’ The sheer desperation in his voice almost broke her heart and she moved towards him as he let her hands go and wrapped his arms around her waist.
It felt so good, so right. It was where she belonged—with the man she loved.
‘On one condition,’ she stated playfully as she looked into his eyes.
‘Which is?’
‘That you never stop telling me you love me, because I love you so very much, Antonio.’
The kiss he brushed over her lips was tender and loving, but as she pulled him closer it became hot and passionate. It was all she’d ever wanted. To hear the man she loved tell her he loved her.
As he broke the kiss, their breathing deep and ragged, he looked at her, a sexy and mischievous smile on his lips. ‘And now, Sadie Di Marcello, I intend to show you just how much I love you.’
‘What about the party?’
‘I have far more important things on my mind than the party—like making love to my wife and telling her as many times as she will listen that I love her.’
Sadie smiled at him. ‘You really are incorrigible and I love you for it.’
EPILOGUE
ANTONIO STOOD IN front of the crackling fire at his St Moritz chalet and watched Sadie as she looked thoughtfully out into the darkness of the night. He could see the snow falling steadily, the sparkling lights of other chalets and hotels only adding to the festive cheer of Christmas Eve.
His first Christmas as a father and husband. Less than a year ago he’d been here, a single man, taking on the latest challenge of the group. Little had any of them known as they had taken on the challenge of paragliding off the side of the mountains, soaring above snow-covered rocks and trees, just how much their lives would change after their next challenge.
The challenge Sebastien had set had been individually tailored to him, to make him rediscover the only woman he’d wanted as more than just another affair. Somehow Sebastien had seen he’d fallen in love with Sadie.
He had a hell of a lot to thank Sebastien for. As did Stavros and Alejandro. Antonio smiled. Sebastien had been right all along. There was more to life than their fortunes, inherited or self-made, there were far more precious
things in life to savour.
‘Leo settled well,’ he said and left the warmth of the fire and moved towards Sadie, seeing his reflection in the glass of the large window which gave glorious views over the snow-covered slopes and down across the rooftops of the other chalets of the alpine town. The golden glow of the lights contrasted with the blue hue of winter snow to create the perfect romantic view.
Sadie turned to him and smiled, her eyes bright and full of love. Love for her son and love for him. He could feel it coming from her and wrapping around him as surely as if he’d taken her in his arms. The kind of love he’d never known before. The kind of love he never wanted to be without.
‘He did.’ The laughter in her voice caught him unawares briefly, but as she walked over to him and he took her hands in his he knew that loveless part of his life, those questions and doubts, were well and truly in the past. ‘Thanks, by the way.’
He frowned. ‘For what, mia bella?’
‘For bringing us here. It’s beautiful.’ She turned and moved back to the window, looking out over the snow-covered landscape as large flakes of snow drifted down past the window. ‘For putting the past aside and bringing my parents and yours here. It will be a really special Christmas for Leo. His first with all his family.’
‘I wanted our first Christmas as a family to be special.’ He’d wanted to make up for the years he’d already missed, but he kept that to himself. He knew now without a doubt that Sadie had never intended to hide Leo from him, that it had been his mother acting out of ill-guided loyalty to him and Eloisa.
Forgiveness was a lesson he’d learnt from Sebastien’s ultimate challenge of going undercover to live and work as an ordinary man. Of course being a mechanic in Milan had just been the packaging for a far greater challenge. The challenge of love.
‘Wherever we were would have been special.’ Sadie looked up at him as he stood behind her and wrapped her in his embrace. He looked down at her, unable to resist kissing her, the ever-present sizzle of fiery desire making anything else impossible.
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