by Jean Oram
"Have one thanks," Beth retorted.
"Barely."
"Just get me Benny," Beth said, turning her back to avoid the look she knew she'd receive from Mandy.
"You know Oz is seeing other people," Mandy said.
Despite herself, Beth found herself turning around.
"That's right," Mandy said with an evil glint in her eye, which was echoed in her grin. "He's back with me."
"Yeah, right." Beth snorted and turned away.
The liar. There was no way Oz was seeing her again. No. Way.
She tucked her trembling hands in her armpits. Mandy had to be lying.
"He said you were bad for him," Mandy whispered. The hair on Beth's neck moved as though Mandy was leaning over the counter for the full torture effect. Beth whirled, but Mandy had already backed off. Smart female doggy.
Beth glared at Mandy. "When?" she asked, despite herself.
"Oh. I'm sorry. He asked me not to tell anyone that he felt pressured by his father to get back together with you." She put a manicured hand against her lips and gave a cutesy look. "Oops."
"Liar," Beth whispered. She shut her eyes against the hurt and listened to the swish of Mandy's polyester pants as she went off to find Benny. She felt like a broken water balloon with all the water gushing out of it. Her sister was right. Oz was being pushed by his parents, not by a genuine need to be with her again. That's why he'd been drunk. That's why he didn't say the words she needed to hear.
"Beth? What can I do for you?" called a soft male voice.
She slowly uncurled her fists, rubbing the indents her nails had left in her palms. She plastered on a smile, and said, "Benny! Hey, I noticed Anna moving out of the apartment above the mechanic's shop. I was wondering what you're charging for rent?" She waited for his reply, her breath held. Please, please, please quote me a low number so I can afford it and a bed. And maybe a few air fresheners so me and my possessions don't end up smelling like oil and gasoline from the shop.
"Well..." Benny rocked back on his heels and avoided looking at her. Beth bit her lower lip and waited for him to turn her down. "I was planning on renovating the space."
"That's okay," she said quickly. "I don't need it renovated."
Benny looked taken aback. He gave her a long look. "How many months do you plan on living there? My leases are for six months. You lose a month's rent if you move out before then."
"That's okay."
Benny frowned. "Aren't you planning on moving back with Oz?"
Beth perked up. "What?"
"Well... I thought you two were just taking a timeout before your I Dos."
"Um... well. Oz wants..." she said hesitantly. She pulled out her checkbook and poised her pen. Why was everyone having such an issue figuring out it wasn't just a break anymore and that it was a full-fledged breakup? "What's first month's rent?"
Benny gave out a short laugh. "You've never seen the place, Beth."
"I don't need to."
"You know...not to be nosey, but I haven't seen you out with that doctor fellow as much since—"
"Oh, for Christ's sake!" Beth slammed down her fist, wincing as the impact stung her hand. "Are you going to rent me a place or not? Katie's tired of me sleeping in her living room and I really don't want to move into Mary Alice's spare room nor Angelica and Barneys'." She gave Benny a sad look. "I need a room of my own, Benny."
Benny hesitated and Beth tried not to let her excitement show. Come on... low number!
"I can't," he said at last.
She blinked back tears of disappointment. "Why not?"
Benny swallowed. "I have to renovate it."
"Benny, I don't care what it looks like. I need a roof over my head. Help out a desperate girl."
He avoided her eye.
"What?" she asked in a low voice. Something was happening. She could smell it. And it wasn't just his pizza-by-the-slice deal rotating in the case beside her. It was something else. Something not so yummy.
Benny placed his beefy hands on the counter and leaned forward. He looked her in the eye and said quietly, "I promised someone I wouldn't." He reached out and patted her hand and turned away.
"Who?" she demanded. "I'm a good tenant! Who blacklisted me?"
He turned back and came closer, his eyes sorrowful. "I'm sorry, Beth. I never thought I'd have to come through on such a promise."
"Who did you promise?"
He cut his eyes to the side as if looking for people listening in. "Angelica."
She felt a sharp pain in her chest. "But she offered me Katie's old room. This makes no sense."
"Just keep on with Katie, Beth. It's for the best."
"But—" Beth stood at the counter, sputtering words that made no sense as he returned to the kitchen.
Mandy strode up to the counter. "Want a slice or something?"
Beth blinked. "What?"
Mandy pointed to the revolving pizza.
Beth shook head and slid out the door. She stood on the street, stunned. Why would Oz's mother ask Benny not to rent to her? Why did Benny think it was best for her to stay at Katie's? And for how long had Angelica been whispering for favors?
***
Beth stormed down Main Street, aiming for Cherry Road in order to take a shortcut to Angelica's. She blasted past the ice-cream shop and clothing boutique which carried crap clothes that she hated only slightly more than driving into the city to buy something half decent and stylish. Rounding the corner to take Cherry, she paused. She backed up a step and stared through the boutique's large corner window.
It looked like she wouldn't risk cooling down during the long walk to Angelica's after all. She could get it all off her chest ASAP. She shoved the boutique's door open, the stupid frog ornament set by the door croaking as she tripped its motion sensor.
She strode up to Angelica, a cool wave of air conditioning fluttering over her bare arms. She tapped the woman sharply on the shoulder. Angelica turned, smiling until she saw Beth's expression. She dropped the suede skirt she'd been petting and stepped back.
Beth, fists clenched, faltered, not knowing where to begin. Women milled about the shop, their attention piqued by Beth's stormy entrance. They circled like hungry sharks sensing blood in the water.
"What's wrong?" Angelica asked weakly.
"What's wrong?" Beth's voice scratched through the air. "What's wrong?" Angelica grew pale under her tan. "How about you tell me?" Beth stepped forward and the older woman shrunk but held her ground. "How could you interfere like that? You've trapped me at Katie's."
Angelica smoothed her hair and looked away, her lips a thin, bleached line. Women whispered, trying to decipher Beth's words.
Fran, the shop owner, stepped between the two women. "Now Beth..." she began.
"Do you know what she's done?" Beth shouted, turning on Fran. "Do you?"
Fran gave Angelica an uncertain glance.
Beth pointed at Angelica and raised her voice. "She had me blacklisted."
"Blacklisted?" Fran asked. "Surely not."
Beth turned to Angelica and demanded, "Where else am I blacklisted other than with Benny? Who else have you been talking to?"
Angelica pulled herself up to her full height. "I am looking out for you, Beth."
"How on earth is blacklisting me and keeping me trapped in Katie's crappy basement suite looking out for me? I can't even sleep through the night there without sleeping pills because of the stupid pullout bed's bar digging into my back."
"I'm looking out for you and Oz," she said firmly.
"Last time you did that he gave me my ring back and told me we were through." Women whispered in agreement, their heads bobbing up and down. Beth said in a low voice, "You have no idea what our best interests are. Blacklisting me is not looking out for me." She turned to address the shoppers who hurriedly tried to act like they hadn't been eavesdropping. "You all need to quit interfering and let me live my life! And let Oz live his!"
"You are making a mistake, Beth," Angelica said quietly.
"With what?" she spit, turning to Angelica.
"Moving on without Oz."
"You think I'm moving on?" She let out a harsh laugh. "God, I wish it was that easy." She stared at the ceiling, trying to draw patience. She didn't even know where to start turning this woman's head around. "Why does everyone think I have a choice? That I have the power to influence Oz? You all act like I can snap my fingers and everything will be hunky-dory again."
"Setting up your own place means you're moving on, Beth," Angelica explained calmly. "You and Oz are only on a break."
"He broke up with me, Angelica. He's seeing Mandy." Around her, shoppers gasped. "He told me..." Beth's voice wavered and she pulled in a deep breath to finish her sentence, "to move on. That we were over."
Angelica's eyes flashed. "He is not seeing Mandy."
A woman across the store hesitantly offered, "I, um, saw them kiss yesterday."
Beth's knees lost strength. She closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. Damn that Mandy. Damn the ugly truth.
A small hand gripped her arm. It was Angelica giving her a pitiful look. "I'm sorry. I—"
"For what?" Beth asked, pulling her arm free. "For Oz getting screwed up and dumping me? For him leaving me homeless? Or for the way Harvey is interfering and acting like Oz is his personal marionette and a way for him to make his own life worth living? Doesn't he see he's destroying his son?" The more she talked the more rage surged through her, fueling her muscles with adrenalin. "Or are you sorry for trying to force him into getting back together with me before he was ready? For him getting drunk and hurting Gran and putting my job in jeopardy? For him breaking my heart?"
The room blurred as the blows she'd received over the past four months broadsided her again. How could the man she had loved so dearly be so cold? She quietly swiped at the tears streaking down her cheeks and women gathered around with there, there's. Angelica stared at Beth with a strange look.
"What?" Beth sniffed, the vacating adrenalin leaving her weak and trembling.
"I'm sorry Beth. I thought..." Angelica paused. "I thought he still loved you." She met Beth's eye. "I thought everything he was doing and saying meant he still cared. I thought he simply had to get things sorted out so you could get back together. I didn't want you running away and starting a new life." She pointed to the ground, her voice strong. "I wanted you to be there, ready and waiting for him when he got it together." She gripped Beth's hand. "I want what's best for Oz and I've always thought that was you."
Beth released a hard sob and wiped her nose with an offered tissue. She turned from Angelica so she wouldn't get hugged and fought the compelling need to continue sobbing. She sucked in unsteady breaths.
"I'm sorry, Beth. I'll talk to Benny and the others."
Beth nodded. She could finally start putting one foot in front of the other again. She looked up as the frog croaked at the front door, and quickly turned away, wiping her wet face with her hands.
"Hey, Mom," the man called, "your chariot awaits."
Beth heard him move across the store, his steps faltering as he reached the spot where she was cowering, attempting to hide behind a rack, his mother floundering beside her.
"Right!" Angelica said brightly. "I'm glad you got my text, Oz. I ended up buying more than I can comfortably carry and I knew you were out and about. Did you see last year's winter wear is still on clearance?"
"Beth?" Oz asked gently, ignoring his mom's attempt to move him along. "You all right?"
Beth heard whispers to her right as women gathered closer so as not to miss a thing and a warm hand landed lightly between her shoulder blades. Knowing her face would be horribly blotchy and red, she ducked her head as she turned to push past Oz.
Oz lightly grabbed Beth's bare arm as she moved past. "Beth? Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not okay." She wrenched her arm from his grasp. "And what do you care, anyway?"
"We're still friends... aren't we?"
Beth's heart took the express elevator to the basement. Friends. She could never be friends with the man who held her dreams within reach only to snatch them away so he could return to his ex, not caring if rumors splattered into her like buckshot.
Friends was right next door to impossible. Friends was a lovely corner office in Hell's deepest pit.
Chapter 10
Beth placed bags of Chinese takeout on Nash's kitchen island, tired of moaning and groaning to him all week about Angelica's blacklisting stunt as well as the difficulty of finding a place to live (even after the rent-to-Beth ban had been lifted). By the time she'd circled back to Benny to snag his vacant apartment he'd convinced himself that a bit of renovation work truly was a good idea. He had already ripped up most of the water-stained parquet flooring, and as Beth stared at the upheaved space, trying to find a way to expedite the renovation process, Katie had started suggesting a few more things to update such as replacing light fixtures and repainting the kitchen cabinets and walls. By the time Benny and Katie had sketched out all the changes, Benny figured he'd have the place out of commission for at least two to three months and would have to increase the rent significantly in order to cover the updating.
She'd come to Nash after seeing Benny's disaster zone, her head a whirlwind of confusing thoughts. He'd sat her down, with ice cream, of course, and had her write out everything she was thinking and feeling about Oz and moving on. Looking at it written in front of her she knew what she'd felt earlier was correct: it was over. Too many little things were adding up.
Beth perched on a tall stool and watched Nash dish himself a plate of lukewarm Chinese food. He handed her a set of bamboo chopsticks from his cutlery drawer. "I can't believe nobody in town works on a BMW," he said. "You would think someone would work on foreign cars."
"Well, how many foreign luxury cars have you seen around town?" she asked, spearing a piece of lemon chicken with a chopstick. She was getting tired of him complaining about how Blueberry Springs wasn't the city. She wished he'd see the bright side of small town living instead of all the bad things like rumors and interference. For example, if someone's house burned down, less than twenty-four hours later they'd find themselves set up in a new, temporary place with everything they needed. But he always seemed to focus on little things like how Cody just about ran him off the road. Which totally wasn't Cody's fault. Everyone knew he always swung left to turn right because he was used to hauling his long cattle trailer behind his truck and needed the extra room in order to make the corner. But Nash had chosen that moment to blast past the truck and almost got sideswiped. It had taken him weeks to get over the incident.
"They aren't exactly up there with Chevys and Fords for popularity, you know." She stabbed the chicken again, trying to keep it on the chopstick like Nash did with ease. "You know, I didn't pick up those throw-away chopsticks at the restaurant for a reason." Her food was going to be mutilated and cold by the time she managed to get any of it in her mouth.
Nash finished chewing and balanced the chopsticks on his extended pointer finger. "Eating with chopsticks makes it an experience." He winked and went back to his meal, delicately scooping rice to his mouth like the stuff was glued to his sticks.
"How do you do that?" she asked, feeling amused that he had such quirky hidden talents. She'd never met anyone who could wrangle a set of chopsticks like City Boy.
He held out his hand, demonstrating his grip. "It's all in how you hold them."
Beth tried to imitate the hold, but her chopsticks tumbled from her fingers. Nash reached over and wrapped his hand around hers and she was surprised at how big they seemed when enveloping hers. She watched his eyes as he plucked her fingers into place. Concentration. Ease. Confidence.
She liked it.
And she also liked how Nash would make a most excellent rebound man. While he was a bit like the old Oz, he was different enough that he left her in a state of anticipation. Plus, the fact that he wasn't constantly in contact, despite how close they were becoming as frie
nds, made his attention feel all the more special. The problem was how to leap from friends to rebound man without damaging what they had.
"There. Try that." He maneuvered her fingers like she was a puppet, the chopsticks picking up the mangled chicken. "Now... just lift to your mouth." He released his grip, mouth opened slightly as he tipped his head back, watching her move the chicken to her mouth.
It landed in her plate's puddle of cherry sauce with a dull splat.
She stared at her meal and contemplated asking for more lessons so he could wrap his hands around hers again. However, by the time she got any food in her mouth the sauces would be all cold and gelled and completely gross. "I cry uncle. Gimme a fork."
Nash laughed and handed her a fork from the drawer. "You know, I met a girl named Chevy the other day. That was a small town moment." He raised his hands as if to ward off an argument. "I'm not wholly against vehicle names as I've always thought the name Mercedes had a certain ring to it. It's just..." He scrunched up his nose.
Beth let out a short laugh. "Mercedes? Really?"
Nash cut short his sip of wine in order to protest, "It's a lovely name!"
She grinned and took a bite of her lemon chicken, courtesy of her fork. "I prefer traditional names like Jennifer—Jenny, and Benjamin—Ben."
Nash nodded in approval. "Those are nice names. I could see a couple of cute kids with your curls named that." He tugged lightly on one of her curls and she tried to hide her blushing. "You want kids right away?" Nash asked, head tilted and chopsticks momentarily silent.
Beth's stomach did a couple of jumping jacks and she tried to act casual. "I do." She did some mental math and sighed. A year to find a man and for them to get to know each other. If he was the right guy, then at least another year for engagement and marriage. Then another year before kids. She was at least three years out from having her first child if she found herself the right man today. The grand age of thirty was practically staring her in the face by the time she got to baby number two. What if she had troubles conceiving like her cousin had? What if it took years to conceive? She be screwed. And not in the good sense of the word. "I'm not getting any younger."