by Jean Oram
She should have been born rich, nestled deep in Nash's arms.
She swiveled in her seat. "Oooooo! Look at that!" She pointed at a meticulous vineyard with rows of vines marching over the rolling hills. Each row was as perfect as the next. Someone must have been very good with a measuring tape.
Beth laughed as they sped by the vineyard's driveway. "That wasn't it?"
"We're going a bit further. Wait and see." Nash geared down for a sharp turn. "You'll love it."
"I'll love anything you show me, Nash. Anything." Beth lifted her arms in the air and laughed as the air forced her arms back down.
Chapter 12
Everything about vineyards made her want to pack up and move to one. The bitter taste of grapes straight off the vine, rich soil running through her fingers, the subtle variety in the different wines, and most of all, the way Nash let his fingertips rest lightly on her lower back as they'd roamed the vineyard. It didn't help that he had pulled her from the tour group to press her up against a hidden trellis and make hasty, scorching love to her.
She'd never think of vineyards in the same way.
However, in an hour, their plane would land and her fairytale world and romance would crash and break about her, dissipating into the crisp fall air. Reality was already seeping in around the edges, staining her mood. No more convertibles. No more chocolates on her pillow. No fresh laundry magically appearing in her room. No delivered breakfast. No slow lovemaking to the sounds of Parisian traffic. No more gilded everything. No more fresh croissants with champagne and orange juice for breakfast.
And most of all, no more Nash. No more sharing her days, thoughts, worries, dreams, and life with him.
No more. No more. No more.
Beth screwed her eyes shut, determined to cement every detail from their trip into her memory. Every day had felt fresh and full of potential.
She'd been alive. Truly alive.
In Paris she was strong and confident. Adventurous.
Flying home, she knew the Beth she'd been in Paris would fade and her old life would slowly take over again.
She gave herself a shake. What was she thinking? This was her life. She could live it as she wanted. Hadn't she just proved that? She'd flown to France with a man. She'd taken a lover. Had a week-long affair. She was desirable. Independent. Adventurous. She had made her life happen by having the confidence and desire to do so. She'd find a great place to live. Her outreach would bloom. She wouldn't look back. And she most certainly wouldn't think about Oz.
Beth pulled the airline magazine from the seat pocket and flipped through it, pausing on a page of the Eiffel Tower lit up at night. Paris. She sighed. Money was going to be an issue, especially if she was moving out on her own. France had been much more expensive than she'd anticipated and she'd had to dip into her savings in an effort to prove to Nash that she was independent and could afford to buy her own meals and souvenirs.
She tapped the magazine thoughtfully and, glancing around the plane's cabin, her eyes landed on a young family. She watched as the mother leaned over and wiped her daughter's face before handing her a coloring book and crayons. Their trailer. There was enough equity in their old home that she could get set up somewhere else if she had her half. She just needed the courage to ask for it.
She ordered a beer from a passing flight attendant and scratched all thoughts of home from her mind. She still had two more hours of fantasyland. Sipping her beer she turned to the same article Nash was reading: Romantic Getaways Around the World. She smiled at the idea that he might be thinking of another trip. She gave his hand a squeeze as her heart swelled. She already missed him and what they'd shared in Paris.
"We'll always have Paris," she whispered.
He squeezed back. "Yes, we'll always have Paris."
***
Beth held the heavy present in her arms and yawned. Jet lag was a bitch with one hell of a backswing. Cynthia opened the door to Dan's parents' place and pulled Beth inside with a massive grin. "Is that for us? Engagement parties are the best!" She squealed and grabbed the package from Beth and gave it an experimental heft. "Oh my god, it's heavy. It's that Mix Master!"
"Shut up," Beth grumbled. Her sister always guessed her gifts within seconds. Even the year she'd added rocks to the gift box to try and throw her sister off, she'd piped up with, "It's that bracelet I wanted and a few rocks to throw me off." The girl was lucky Beth even bothered to wrap her gifts anymore.
Her sister tore off down the hall calling, "Dan! Beth got us the Mix Master!"
"Whoopee," came his reply. "Another thing I will never, ever use."
Beth entered the kitchen where a few gifts were already stacked on the kitchen island.
"Oh, be happy for me, honey," Cynthia said, wrapping her arms around Dan's neck and giving him a big smooch.
"For our wedding," Dan said, breaking free, "get us something we could both use, okay?"
"Like what?" Beth asked, head tilted to the side.
Dan shrugged. He grabbed a strawberry off a platter and dipped it in chocolate fondue. "One of these? They're wicked-awesome."
Dan's mother, Wini, entered the room and laughed. "That would be a lovely gift. And if you don't get one tonight—"
"Dibs!" called Beth.
Wini smiled and continued, "Beth will buy you one as a wedding gift."
Beth giggled at her sister's unimpressed expression.
Dan pointed his strawberry at Beth. "And lots of chocolate. The proper fondue stuff that you can't get in town. And it has to be a chocolate fondue fountain, not one of those silly pot things."
Cynthia rolled her eyes.
"Deal," Beth said and shook his hand.
Dan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and said, "You're going to be the best sister-in-law ever. Too bad you don't come with an equally awesome brother-in-law."
"Not yet," she sang.
The air in the room shifted and Beth turned to see Oz standing in the doorway. "Hey," he said, addressing everyone. He glanced at Beth and said stiffly, "Have a nice trip, Beth?" He placed his lopsidedly wrapped gift with the others.
"I did, thanks." She bit her lip from sharing how wonderful it had been. She'd only been back two days and was still bursting with the thrill of having been away.
Dan handed Oz a bottle of beer and he chugged half of it back while everyone stood uncomfortably. Yeah, they were once engaged and now they were broken up. Elephant in the room. She got it. But it didn't mean everyone couldn't act like normal humans.
"Neither of you brought dates?" asked Wini, rearranging the food platters to create room for serviettes.
Oz and Beth shook their heads, giving each other side glances.
Wini raised an eyebrow but said nothing as she snagged her purse off the counter. "I'm off to play bridge with the girls, you kids have fun."
"Thanks, Wini," Cynthia said, following her future mother-in-law to the front door, Dan in tow.
"Where's Mandy?" Beth asked Oz.
He shrugged.
"You didn't ask her to come?" Beth asked.
"Where's Nash?" Oz asked, staring straight ahead while taking a swallow of beer.
Beth shrugged. Two could play this game. Only she wasn't dating Nash or kissing him in public. At least not on this continent.
"Why do you think I'd bring Mandy?" Oz asked, giving her a side glance, shoulders tense.
"Why do you think I'd bring Nash?" Beth immediately retorted.
He turned to face her, arms crossed. "France. Rumor is—"
"And since when did you start subscribing to the rumor channel, Oz?" she turned away. "And what does it matter to you what I do or don't do?" The front door opened and closed, Cynthia hollering her hellos as more guests arrived.
"Guys, time to play games!" Cynthia called from the other room.
Beth and Oz stared at each other. "I'm sorry," Beth said, looking away. She was going to ruin her sister's party if she didn't smarten up and act nice. Oz wasn't a mortal enemy about to j
ab a switchblade in her heart if she wasn't cautious. He was still a reasonably nice guy, despite being an ex who'd broken her heart. She sighed and held out her hand. "Truce?"
Oz stuffed his hands in his armpits and rocked back on his heels. "You're different, you know that?"
"So are you."
He shook his head. "I only wish."
Beth gave him a puzzled look and he drove a hand through his hair and slowly kicked the air like he was punting an invisible football. He leaned against the island and blew out an enormous breath. "This whole finding oneself is fucking hard."
"Tell me about it."
Oz let out a snort. "You already know yourself. At least a lot more than I realized."
"Hardly."
Oz gave her a confused glance and she frowned. She didn't want to explain that being around Nash had shown her there were things about herself she hadn't known and wouldn't have discovered. The biggest example being France and the outreach.
Oz was right. She was different. And he wasn't.
But there was still something about him that drew her in. It wasn't beyond his strong shoulders, hard quads, kindness, and their shared history. It was the fact that it was still freaking hard—seven months later—to imagine her future without him. He was more than a habit.
Oz pulled a hand down his face. "It takes a hell of a lot of time. It's the hardest thing I've ever done." He glanced at her, his eyes soft and warm. "Second hardest."
Despite the warning bells ringing in her mind, she asked, "What was the first?"
"Guys!" commanded Cynthia. "Chop! Chop!" She swung into the kitchen. "Everyone's in the living room. Come on."
Beth stared at Oz, trying to read his mind. Was he hinting that breaking up with her was the hardest thing he'd ever done and that he regretted it and wanted her back?
She gave herself a little shake. Hello. Earth to brain. It was over. They were moving on.
Signing, they entered the adjoined living room, their steps in sync. They awkwardly sat on the last seat available. On the love seat.
Seriously? In a room full of couples. She felt a setup coming on. Oz gave her a helpless shrug, setting her at ease.
"Okay, it's like the newlywed game. Okay, it IS the newlywed game!" Cynthia giggled and bounced on the couch next to Dan, acting like a giddy teenager that had sipped more than her fair share of Baby Duck and had just spun the bottle, landing on the boy she'd been chasing for months. Beth gave Oz a cross-eyed look and he chuckled as he leaned back in the loveseat, draping an arm over the back. Great. Now she couldn't lean back without cozying up to him due to the way his weight would slip her against his side. As tempting as that was.
Cynthia passed them a pad of paper and marker. "First question—"
"Wait. How do we play?" asked Beth, her competitive drive kicking into gear. She and Oz—no matter what—would kick Cynthia's butt. She and Dan might think they were great, but she and Oz had history. They knew each other like nobody else. "And what do we win?"
"You win gloating rights," said Dan.
The group of twelve groaned.
"Okay, what?" he asked.
"Title of some sort," quipped Oz. "Like The Greatest Couple in Blueberry Springs."
Beth shot him a look. Why would he want to share a title like that—because he ought to know she was not going to take this game lying down. Nu-uh. They were going to cream these pansies.
"Deal!" yelled Dan, half-standing. "And you are so going down Mr. Best Man."
"Relax," said Cynthia, pulling him back onto the couch. Beth narrowed her eyes and cracked her knuckles at her sister who gave a look of mild disbelief. "Okay, here's how it goes. I ask a question. If it is for the girls, they write down their answer, secretly, and the guys write down what they think their girls answered. If the answers match up you get a point."
"Wait, you wrote the questions?" asked Katie from her spot on a dining room chair.
Seriously? She chose a hard chair over the loveseat?
"Foul play!" called her boyfriend, Will.
"Agreed!" said Beth.
Cynthia shuffled her notecards and looked put out.
"No way," protested Katie. "We ask questions of our own choosing."
The group agreed and Cynthia threw up her hands. "Fine. The couple with the most points wins." She cleared her throat and chose a card. "First question..."
"No way," said Katie. "All new questions."
"Seriously? For the title of The Greatest Couple in Blueberry Springs?" asked Dan. "You think we'd cheat?"
"Whatever," said Beth. "You're going down whether you stack the deck or not."
"That's my girl," said Oz, giving her shoulder a quick rub.
Cynthia rolled her eyes. "Okay, Fine. First question. Girls answer. Where was your first official date?"
There were murmurings of, "That's easy," as the women smugly wrote down their answers while the men's confidence flagged. Beth folded her sheet in half and decided she hated this game. Yeah, she and Oz could rock it, but it meant a lot of cruising down memory lane on a bicycle made for two.
"Women, show your answers!" Cynthia announced. "Annnnd men!"
Beth glanced at Oz's answer. "Benny's Big Burger." They nodded and slapped a high-five.
"How do you not remember where our first date was?" Katie complained to Will.
"This is where you first held my hand," replied Will. "That was at least a full week before your so-called first date."
"Semantics. They'll get you every time," said Dan as he chalked up everyone's score. "Men, think like your woman!"
The next couple conferred on their question and asked, "What the men love most about their women."
Beth gently cleared her throat. This game was seriously not for the broken up. She tapped her pencil against her blank page. She hadn't a clue what Oz loved most—assuming there was still something. She wrote down smile.
Oz wrote down independence.
"What?" Beth asked. "My independence? Since when?"
"You have all this secret independence hiding in there. You know. Like you're strong and don't even realize it."
Beth frowned. Bastard. If he really thought that, would they be broken up? Probably not. He would have risked telling everything in his life. She cracked her knuckles, determined to get the next one right.
The next couple of questions were gimme questions. Favorite colors, hated foods, favorite vacation, etc. They were one point behind Cynthia and Dan with two more questions to go.
Oz whispered in her ear. "Do you think we should give it to them seeing as it's their party?"
"Don't you dare!" Cynthia pointed at Oz. "I heard that. I want to win the title fair and square."
The next question was a double-header. What the man's dream job was as well as the woman's. Beth wrote down that she was doing hers and that Oz didn't know.
He wrote down the same.
"WOO!" Beth jumped up from the couch and gave Oz a double high-five up high and down low. If he'd been standing she would have given him a chest bump as well. She turned to her sister who had got half points allowing Beth and Oz to catch up. "In your face!"
"This last question will break the tie between sisters and declare a winner. Drumroll please! What was your worst fight about?"
Beth closed her eyes and drew in a slow breath. Son of a bitch. Why was she playing? She hated this game. She contemplated making a joke of it and writing down Oz leaving the toilet seat up or even storming out of the room. Instead she slowly wrote Life.
Barely breathing, she waited for the reveal. Tons of fights were displayed around the room and Beth shut her eyes. Fights about jealousy, misunderstandings, all fights they'd had since the break but had never had before then. Dan and Cynthia had both written down the same thing. The wedding. She glanced at Oz's card knowing she'd see one of the ugly heartbreaking fights they'd had over the past few months. Seeing his tight scrawl she did a double take.
Love.
What the hell? He thought their
biggest fight was about love? He gently turned her held out paper to see her answer. They held each other's eye for a moment.
"Congratulations, Cynthia," Beth said as she stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be back in a moment."
"Loser!" sang Cynthia, doing a victory dance.
Beth hurried to the bathroom, leaning over the sink to ease her riled up stomach. They'd been great together—her and Oz—but when the chips were down, had they ever been on the same page?
She smoothed her curls and dried her hands before returning to the living room. Her sister had moved on to opening gifts. She stood at the edge of the room, not wanting to be close to Oz as confusion and a million thoughts swirled through her. She hadn't thought of Nash and their Parisian affair all night until now. She'd been certain he was the right choice—the right path into her future. But now she wasn't sure. Oz was still such a part of her life and her history. When it came right down to it, weren't their answers the same? Weren't love and life inexplicably tied together? Wasn't that exactly what all of their fights been about over the past seven months? She wanted to walk across the room and give him a big hug and for them to drop the past and carry on from today forward like everything was brand new. No assumptions. No history. Just the two of them and their future together.
Beth watched Oz from the edge of the room, as Cynthia continued opening gifts, his face took on a guarded, nervous expression. Cynthia unwrapped Oz's gift and turned a small, rough wood box over in her hands, giving Oz a puzzled look. "Thanks, Oz."
"It's whittled," he replied.
"Whittled?" Beth could see her sister struggling to act pleased. She would have laughed at the scene if it weren't for the look on Oz's face. He'd never been worried about gifts before. Why now? What was up?
Cynthia set it aside. "It's lovely, thanks."
Dan picked it up. "This would be great for cigars."
"You are not smoking cigars!" Cynthia snapped.