by Jean Oram
Her father, who had stood up to head to the kitchen sat back down. "About what?" He looked intrigued.
"I think I broke up with Nash."
Her father raised one eyebrow, exactly the way Cynthia did when she found something interesting but wanted to hear more before wading into the disaster. It was eerie. It was like talking to a male version of her sister. But it was also kind of comforting. Would he give her the same advice?
"I, um, we didn't get married and we lost our honeymoon because of his... accident at the church."
Her father nodded grimly. "I saw that. He's all right?"
Beth nodded. "We were supposed to go away this morning and probably would've eloped." She looked at her pale hands, her ring making her fingers look frail rather than delicate. "But I think I broke up with him."
"You're not sure?"
"Oz asked me back." She added quickly, "Nash doesn't know."
Another raised eyebrow and pause.
She offered, "I told Oz I'd have to be crazy to take him back."
"People do crazy things all the time. Ever hear of bungee-jumping?" Beth shot him a look and he apologized and said, "I assume Oz and Nash don't get along judging by what I saw on the steps."
Beth nodded. "Yeah. They seem to have developed a history."
Her father let out a short bark of laughter that made her jump.
"What?" Beth asked, her cheeks heating.
"Two men fighting over you, huh?" He winked and stretched out an arm in order to give her shoulder a playful tap. "Thatta girl."
"It's not like that," she said tightly. "I don't know who I should choose."
"How about neither of them."
Beth sat back. "Neither?" No, that wasn't right. How could she let both of them go?
"Oh, come on." Her father looked impatient. "Open your bloody eyes. Have you seen the way Oz looks at you?"
"Recently?"
"That man would do anything for you. That split second in front of the church I saw—never mind."
"What?"
He waved her off. "It's nothing but an old man feeling romantic." He gave her a sad smile. "I don't think I am the man to help you out. This is one of those times in life when you need to follow your heart. Not someone else's opinion."
"But who do I choose? Nash can give me everything, but I don't love him—" She gasped and clamped a hand over her mouth like she'd been socked. She slowly doubled over, her mind frozen. She didn't love him. It was everything but that true, deep, permanent love she'd had with Oz. She missed Oz. She loved Oz. And he had asked for a second chance. A chance to be together and start again. To be really great. To have a future she'd really like to be a part of. Or at least try out.
"Well, there you go." Her father stood up and dusted off his hands.
"But Oz—" She stood. "I'm not sure where I fit in with his future."
"We all struggle with something." Her father got a far off look. "You need to take your life by the horns my dear girl."
***
"Oz?"
A groggy, yet hopeful voice on the other end of the line replied, "Beth, is that you?"
"I hope I didn't wake you." Beth checked the alarm clock resting next to the hotel room's bed. Its bright red numbers announced the wee hours of the night. "I woke you, didn't I?"
The grogginess fell from his voice, "Are you okay? Everyone's worried."
"Sorry. It is too late, isn't it? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called."
Beth was about to lower the phone to its cradle when Oz said, "I'm here any time, Beth."
She paused, telling herself she only wanted to hear his voice. But really she wanted to reassure herself that his offer was real. And that things would work out if she accepted it.
"What's new with you?" she asked.
He paused as if caught off guard. "I started a dining room table." He sounded more awake. "I'm working on going through the process of making the legs on my own, but I don't have a machine. I want to make the whole thing, start to finish, with my own hands." His voice lowered. "It's good for the soul."
"Are you going to buy one of those things they had in the school shop?"
He chuckled. "I haven't dared price one out."
"You have money though, right? You haven't spent it all?" The idea of him being broke already bothered her.
"I still have a bit of savings from selling the business, but I need to be frugal so I don't end up having to take a job I hate." He paused. "Right now I'm driving the recycling truck two days a week. It's a bit of mindless income to help me out."
"Oz?"
"Yeah?"
"...nothing."
There was a pause.
"Where are you, Beth?"
"Away thinking."
"I heard you broke up with Nash."
"I guess so."
"You're not sure?"
She stared at the ring on her finger. "I'm confused." Scared. "I saw my dad."
"Really?" Oz's voice perked.
"He told me to open my eyes. And..." She sighed. She wanted this to be easy. But she was afraid if she ran to him he'd only break her heart again.
"And what?" he asked.
"Nothing."
Silence stretched down the line.
"Make sure you do what'll make you happy. If he..." his voice broke off.
Anger burned through her, lighting her mind on fire. Oz had asked her back, but was implying that she shouldn't be too hasty in dumping his rival?
"What will make you happy?" he asked.
"How the hell am I supposed to know?" she snapped. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on with you, Oz?" Her voice wobbled and she clung to the phone. "Why did you shut me out?"
"I was scared." He paused, his deep voice soft and strong. "It seemed easier and safer than to try and live a different life. I was afraid of losing you. And then everything started to feel as though it was too late. And no matter which way I turned I wouldn't be able to give you what you needed. I couldn't find a way to be true to your needs. If I quit the firm we'd be broke and if I stayed there I'd be broken." He sucked in a slow breath and she could picture him running a hand through his hair, messing it up. "Sometimes I think we'd still be together if I'd been man enough to stand up and say I needed to make some changes in my life. That we would have found a way."
She almost replied that of course they would have made it. But in her heart she wondered if the old Beth would have understood. If she would have been as accommodating and flexible. She'd been so determined that kids were the only thing worthwhile on her horizon that she may not have been able to give him the space he needed to find himself while they were together. "I should have known you weren't happy."
"The past is the past." Silence. "You need to do what will make you happy tomorrow."
"I don't even know what happy is anymore!"
She slammed the phone down and let her tears breach the brim. She flung a pillow across the room, sending the vertical blinds jangling. Picking up the receiver, she jammed her finger down on redial.
"You're never going to let me in, are you Oz?" she said as soon as he picked up.
"Beth," he said with a hint of exasperation. "You're already in. You have been for years."
"But I don't even know you. I don't know anybody anymore. Even myself." Knowing who you wanted to father your children should pretty much be a gimme kind of answer at this stage of the game. And the way she was feeling, kids didn't even feel that important anymore. She knew what she wanted and that was the old Oz. But the old Oz was gone. She didn't know the new Oz. What if he pushed her away again? What if they couldn't get past their history and habits?
She sniffed and swiped at her eyes, her anger building. "I used to know exactly what I wanted until you messed up everything. I'm different now. I'm different, Oz. I'm stronger. I'm a good, caring person who makes a difference in the lives of people who are near the end of their time. And it feels good to be that woman. To be strong and to be needed. I'm independent and make m
y own choices. And I don't need a man, Oz. I don't need you. I don't even need kids. I have family, Oz. I have Blueberry Springs. There are people looking out for me. If I need help, all I have to do is ask. The problem is you, Oz." She put a hand on her hip. "I don't know you. I don't trust you. How can I when you kept yourself from me? You ask me back but I don't even know who is asking me. I know nothing."
"Come get to know the new me. See if we still fit," he said. "I'm an open book. All you have to do is ask."
"Fine," she said sharply. "Do we have a chance together?"
"I'm not a fortune teller."
"Oh, so, no then? Nice." Her eyes stung. "That's all I wanted to know."
"Beth." The pitch of his voice edged higher. "That's not what I said." He sucked in an audible breath, and his pitch slid lower. "It's what we make of it. Everything in life is what we make of it."
"So, I've made my life a big mess, have I?" She was unable to stop herself from twisting his words. "I'm the only one to blame since I'm not happy?"
"Beth, there's hope. There is always hope." He paused before continuing gently, "Where are you? Let me help you."
"I don't need help. I need to be alone. I need to make this decision." She dug her fingernails into her palm. "I'm still totally in love with you, and I don't even know who you are!" She flinched at her words, not wanting to love Oz. It was complicated and it hurt. She swiped at her runny nose with a tissue. If she had Oz, she might not have kids. By the time he was ready it might be too late for her. And while it pained her, it didn't bother her as much as the idea did a year ago.
"Beth, I still love you, too. More than anything. And that's more than anyone else can offer. Come home. Let me love you again."
Tears streamed off her chin and she wished she could close her eyes, click her heels, and repeat over and over, There's no place like home, and wake up to find herself at home with Oz, everything as it was before Harvey's heart attack. But she couldn't because she wasn't Dorothy. She was the cowardly lion. Except she didn't even have Oz.
And like everything in life, it was hard to go back.
PART 4: Where it Ends... Or Does it Begin?
(April... Still)
Chapter 22
Beth slipped past Oz and into the trailer's living room. "You should take down the for sale sign for a while. And maybe forget those mortgage papers for a bit, too." She frowned. She was getting way too ahead of herself. "Not like you've ever been in a hurry to get them to me."
He lifted his hands in surrender. "A last ditch hope against hopes."
Beth frowned, hands on hips. "Are you going to tell me everything? Or are you going to keep secrets?"
Oz sighed. "If I sold the place it was letting go. And I couldn't. I turned down five offers. And I never sorted out getting your name off the place because I couldn't bear the idea of it. Your name is still on my truck, too. Even though Mandy wanted to peel it off."
Beth plunked onto the couch, excitement and nerves battling against each other. She could do this. She could start over with the one thing she wanted. All he needed to do was accept and they'd see where the future took them.
Pulling in a deep breath for courage she blurted, "Let's date."
Oz scratched his head, making his hair stand on end. She smiled. If things went according to plan she'd have the right to smooth that unruly head of hair under her fingertips once again. He raised his eyebrows hopefully, but she saw fear lingering there as well. Did she show it too?
He took a lemon drop out of the bowl on the coffee table and carefully asked, "What are you saying, Beth?"
"As in... date. Start over. You and me. You're different. I'm different."
"Okay," Oz said slowly. "That sounds good. A fresh start." His shoulders lost their stiffness.
She stood and walked toward him. "We can't assume we know anything about each other. We have to act like we've just met. We need to see if we're still good together."
Oz nodded, his face a myriad of expressions.
She waited, watching him. Somehow she'd imagined this going a little more... glad-to-have-you-back-let-me-sweep-you-into-my-arms-I've-been-waiting-for-this-moment-since-the-second-I-let-you-go.
"We're both different, but we're both still attracted to each other." She stepped closer. "Right?"
He gave her a goofy grin. "It's 'cause I've been working out, isn't it? I saw you staring at my abs when you came to chew me out." He patted his flat midriff.
Beth rolled her eyes. Too much talking. Not enough kissing. What did a girl have to do to get him to say yes?
"Look, Oz." She stood at full height. "I can't be that 75-year-old woman sitting in continuing care wondering about the one that got away, torturing herself with 'what ifs'." Her voice rose. "God dammit, Oz. I can't shut you out of my heart. I want you. Nobody else. I always have. More than anything else out there." She held his face in her hands. She looked him straight in the eye. "More than kids."
His eyes filmed with unshed tears, the windows to his soul warm and open. Inviting. She lowered his head to hers and gently kissed his lips. He tasted like home.
She whispered, "I've always loved you, Oz. I've never stopped—even when I tried my hardest."
He pulled her into his arms. "I've never stopped loving you, either, Little B."
She laughed. "I think I can handle having my lemon drop every day." She reached down and plucked a lemon drops out of the bowl. She gave him a long, sweet kiss. "You've always been my favorite."
The End
Before you go...
Thank you for reading Champagne and Lemon Drops.
Did you enjoy your free read? Tell your friends on your favorite online book site or leave a review on your favorite online bookseller. I appreciate your feedback.
As well...
Read on for a sample of book 2 in the Blueberry Springs series, Whiskey and Gumdrops, more about the author, as well as a sneak peek bonus from Cali MacKay's contemporary romance, The Highlander's Hope.
***
Don't miss the next adventure in Blueberry Springs featuring Mandy! She's not the girl Beth thinks she is... (turn the page!)
Whiskey and Gumdrops
By Jean Oram
Coming Fall 2013
Chapter 1
Mandy stood behind an elm and watched the front of the church, her feet turning to nicely pedicured ice blocks due to the slush seeping through her designer boots. The old teak doors swung open and the bride and groom burst into the spring sunshine smiling at each other like they were the only ones in the small town of Blueberry Springs.
Mandy turned away to catch her breath, the rough bark of the tree snagging her long hair. She peered around the trunk, waiting as the couple kissed and waved their goodbyes before piling into the waiting limo. She took several quick steps to the right and crouched behind a budding bush, seeking better cover as the limo pulled away. The last thing she needed was word to get back to her ex that she'd been wedding-stalking him.
Was it crazy that she'd needed to see the proof of his nuptials herself? To see with her own eyes that he had indeed chosen to spend the rest of his life with her rival? To slide that knife a little deeper into her soul?
She sighed and wiggled her left foot which was threatening to fall asleep due to her cramped position. The decent man options in town were waning and, like the men available, she wasn't getting any younger. Before long the only ones left would be used and abused models—divorcés—or the late model lemons nobody had wanted in the first place.
If everyone worth snapping up was snapped up... did that imply she wasn't worth snapping up? Well, obviously not by the man she'd been with for eight years and had hopelessly chased for the past three and a half. That stupid kiss he'd given her two years ago had given her unrealistically high hopes. She was embarrassed in how she'd acted, following him around, setting her kitchen on fire—well, that was an accident—and basically, trying to respark the connection they'd once had. But she was only embarrassed because it hadn't w
orked. And maybe a little bit because her ex had been a safe option. Risk free. Not like the trial offers other men offered. You didn't know if a man was a lemon until you test drove him for a while.
And, God, sue her but that felt like so much work.
She stood and stretched her tingling leg as the limo swung around for another toot-toot drive-by. Quickly, she ducked behind a shrub, hoping to be sheltered from view. A light rustling caused her to glance down. Mrs. Everett's cat, Fluffy, was prancing like she had to pee.
The whole outdoors is yours, kitty.
Mandy took a second glance at the cat, noting the wide, white stripe down her back—a stripe Fluffy did not possess on her all-black body. The skunk aimed her poofy tail straight at Mandy's carmel leather jacket with the Italian style zipper.
"Shit!" Mandy scrambled backward, the butt of her perfectly worn in jeans landing in wet, cold slush as the skunk filled the air with its potent aroma, stinging Mandy's eyes.
"Son of a bitch!" She gagged and choked. She whipped a handful of heavy slush at the skunk, sending it hustling for protection under a nearby shrub. "You know how much this outfit cost? I'll never be able to wear it again!"
Mandy stalked off, eyes watering. She'd be lucky if she only smelled into next and not the rest of her life. She'd be turning off diners at Benny's Big Burger and get herself fired from the best tipping restaurant in town.
She slipped through the downtown at a light jog, unable to outrun her smell, thankful the majority of the town was still at the wedding. By her estimation she had about two more minutes to make it to safety before the streets filled again.
Turning onto Plum Street she headed for the one person who could help her. The one person who had stood by her through all the years: Frankie.
Everyone thought she'd been cruelly leading him on ever since he fell off the water tower while painting her name on it all those years ago—and earning himself the nickname Frankie-Fall-Off-The-Tower-Smith—but they had an agreement. They were just friends. And always would be. Nothing more.