by Kiki Howell
She’d had hours to pine away the last few days, lost in all of her losses, to think on such things – what she’d done right, what she’d done wrong, how to make herself love no one – but there was no reasoning with the cold, dead organ which beat no more in her chest. Though the guilt was a bitch, she would forever long to be in Kane’s arms. These were the sad facts, her own catch-twenty-two.
For all that poetry claimed in sickening-sweet language about the heart, love must reside somewhere else. It had to. As one of the undead, her heart simply did not beat. This was another fact, sad or not. It was all in the perspective. Yet, her humanity – well most of it – remained and with it the ability to love, fiercely, deeply, so that the earth felt like it was just about to shatter around her when the object of her affection was not near. Yes, love had to come from somewhere other than the heart; the soul maybe, which must carry an essence or energy of the human she used to be, something that still swirled around inside of her. Yes, she was colder to touch and she had cravings she fought daily for blood, but still, for the most part, she felt basically human, mortal and desperately, head over heels in love with a Werewolf.
She would no longer become the head of her clan like her maker, Drake, had groomed her for. Everyone in the clan, save maybe her Vamp brother, Isaac, and her Vamp grandmother, Willa, blamed her for Drake’s death. Probably rightly so. She blamed herself most minutes of the day, the ones that ticked by at a dreadful, slow pace, taunted her with their foolish beat. Achim, her Vamp grandfather, couldn’t even look at her. Even when he was forced to speak her name, it was with disgust and pain. While these Vampire family members weren’t blood family as in her family of origin—who by the way were people she wished never to think about again—these Vampires were her family of creations, the ones she wanted to be around. Going by the created bloodlines of the maker made more sense to her. Her human family had nearly destroyed her when she was alive anyway. Yet now, she felt cast aside, yet again, by another family. Orphaned by choice or by force still sucked either way.
“Amberlyn, baby, what’s wrong? In the last few minutes, I’ve lost you. You are in my arms, but still, miles away in your mind. Do you regret calling me and coming here to meet?” Kane questioned.
“No. No! Fuck!” Amberlyn grit her teeth, tried to hold in all that boiled up inside her. “Kane, fuck it all, things have just gotten so messed up in our world. This war we started, just by admitting our love, is so frustrating, because it’s so ridiculous… and I can’t make anyone see any reason as to why their thinking is so old-fashioned and corrupt. In a day and age where people are fighting for gay rights and have gained – in some states – the right to gay marriage, our clans still won’t let Vamps and Weres date, will barely let Witches and Vampire talk... Shit! And, best of all is the reason I called you to meet me, my brother Isaac, after coming back into town, has been with a Witch. And, I mean been with a Witch. We caught them this evening in bed, all naked and shit together. You can’t stop what the heart or body wants, damn it!” The words hissed through her teeth. “It seems the heart and body don’t categorize beings the way the clans heads do. Just because some are foolish enough to want to control others they know nothing about, doesn’t make them not want to be together! Am I even making sense any more?”
“I was able to follow what you were saying. But babe, you need to calm down,” Kane said in a rush when Amberlyn finally took a breath. “Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe with two couples, and who knows if there are more who’ve crossed the lines of the clans social conventions, then maybe these unwritten, old social laws will be changed. I mean, they’re really nothing more than prejudices formed by fears of the unknown, passed down through the generations. Isn’t that the way it always goes? Problem is that fights seem to erupt quickly to keep these prejudices alive and well.”
“Maybe one day,” Kane spoke more slowly now, like he repeated a daydream, “just like you dreamed about being groomed to lead the Vampires, a couple like us will be able to be together in the open. I felt like I was dying all week, not being able to see you. They’ve been guarding me like a common criminal. I swear, I can’t believe they didn’t put me in shackles and beat me. The guy who killed Drake, while he got in trouble for killing and for making the clan look bad really, he was also revered while I was shamed.
“But today,” he continued, “luckily when you called, they were taking care of other matters, like what to do to those Witches who last night dared to play with a were and a Vamp, nearly bringing them to blows and blowing their cover as other worldly creatures in front of humans. Things are going to get bad before they get better I fear. We may just need to leave the Willows altogether. I mean, I have clan loyalty, but I’m no longer sure my presence or yours is welcome or wanted. Though I do feel an obligation to help stop the war we started. We really need to end the fighting the right way so others like us… I mean, they have to be out there. Isaac and his Witch can’t be the only other couple… Anyway, we need to make it so that others like us can be together in the future. What do you think, Amberlyn?”
“Maybe we should just leave,” Amberlyn spoke to the mattress in a forlorn voice, deep and slow. “I felt an obligation at first too, still do in many ways, but everything has changed in just a matter of days. There isn’t a chance in hell of me becoming the leader of my clan. Although, it seems Achim and Isaac don’t want the position either. So, the question there becomes who will take over? We, or at least me…I’m always going to be blamed for Drake’s death. So, I can’t do it. I can’t lead. No one would feel safe, let alone listen to me now. I ran away once and started over when I was just a teenage human. Of course, I got myself killed or turned into a Vampire in the process, but it hasn’t turned out so bad. Okay, until now. But, right now, all I want is you.”
“Then show me babe,” Kane hissed. “It’s feels like it has been too long since we’ve been in each other’s arms.”
“I know. I want you too.” She gave him a quick kiss, but pulled away again with an abrupt a motion. “I just…I’m so conflicted. Loyalty and love, why do they have to be in opposition to each other? Why in this world do so many bad things happen? Abuse? Death? I’ve had too much of it in my life.”
“I know babe. I’ll do whatever you want. I love you. You know that no matter what, I’ll hold you. Even if I can only hold you in my heart and my memories. I’d let you go, if that was what you want… even though I don’t want to, even though it would kill me to do so. What I want, especially after these past few days with my were clan, being away from you, hearing all the bad things being said about Vampires, getting ready for retaliation because one of mine killed one of yours…all I want is to run away from it all. Not because I can’t face them, the challenge, the fight, but because I can’t face the time without you. I know life already made you run away once, but you ran away alone. This time would be different. This time we only need to run away just past the social conventions that keep us apart. And we would run together, hand in hand.”
Kane paused and she watched as emotions flickered through his eyes, lightened them, then darkened them, while the muscles in his face moved a touch with each feeling he experienced. He ran his hand through his hair before he spoke again.
“I can’t get you out of my mind,” he whispered as he reached out to touch her. “Your pale skin, the glow of it in the moonlight, I just want to touch you. Your lips, so red, crimson, like the blood you drink, it turns me on, not repels me. We are each animals in our own way. I accept you and you accept me. We need nothing else but to lay naked together and kiss slowly, make love, for the rest of our days to be happy. Why can they not see that, want happiness for us rather than loneliness and despair?”
“I know. And running again, it isn’t what I want,” Amberlyn sighed loudly. “But, if that’s what it takes for us to be together, then I’m ready. There was never a chance though to ask how this silent feud between the clans got started years and years ago. And, we know how we can kill each o
ther, but no one has thought to ask, if we could join together without doing so. Man can kill man for cripes sake and everyone lets them co-exist – well to some extent anyway. Only problem I see is, I don’t want to have you for just a certain amount of years. I want you for centuries. You said before you would turn to be with me forever, but what we don’t know is whether a were can be turned Vamp too.”
“Maybe all we need is the help of a good Witch.” Kane laughed as he gave Amberlyn a quick tickle and peck on the cheek, reminiscent of how he used to before all of the craziness had gotten started.
She smiled back at him, but her heart wasn’t in it. She felt troubled like the weight of more than just her world was suddenly on her shoulders. Even in the arms of the man she wanted more than anything else in this world, at this moment everything was so complicated, she couldn’t even luxuriate in being near to him. Damn them all!
“Bite your tongue,” Amberlyn finally answered while she forced a wiggle and a smile at his touch, though she didn’t feel anything but self-preservation and stone cold at the moment. By his fallen face, she could tell he was well aware of the fact. “Though, I may know where to find us one, if this thing with Isaac and Winter gets serious,” she stated the obvious for some unknown reason. Her mind felt like she was human again, one who had taken too much over-the-counter cold medicine.
“Isaac and Winter?” Kane said, his voice rose as he leaned over her.
“Yeah, why?”
“You do realize that the Witches have been claiming she was taken, as well as saying that is why they played such games last night?”
“Oh, I’m well aware of the intricacies of the situation. Achim was beside himself to find them together in bed. He was spouting off nonsense the whole time until I just had enough and took off for you.”
“And here I am. Use me baby. My body is here for your diversion, your pleasure. It’s been too long since we’ve been together. We deserve this, this moment alone, to pretend the rest of them don’t exist. We can get back to the war soon enough.”
“It’s only been a few days, but it does seem like it’s been forever,” she pouted.
“Exactly. Too long. Let me make love to you, however you want it, rough, slow, kinky.” He winked, a grin spreading across his face.
Amberlyn felt Kane’s eyes on her, the potent animal magnetism they possessed even if she wasn’t the same species. She drank him in as well, the way his jeans clung to his powerful thighs; the sheer power of them thrilled her, the muscles defined, rugged, even through the denim. As he lounged on his side, one strong thigh over hers, she caught a glimpse of his ass too. And while it was amazing in jeans – full, tight, rounded – it was her undoing when it was bare.
He knew her too well and this she liked too. Not many in her life, human or undead, had taken the chance to get to know her. Not even her biological parents – if that’s what you would call those two idiots and not those in the system who’d failed to protect her from them. Drake had been the first to really see her for who she was, or all she could be. She had to believe that given the chance, he would’ve fought for her and Kane. If she hadn’t believed that, she wouldn’t have revealed their relationship to him that night. Although in hindsight – twenty-twenty as always – she shouldn’t have gone off half-cocked. She should’ve gotten hold of her emotions and told Drake first, alone.
But something had gotten into her that night, something dark, angry and tired of being beaten or abused for choices life seemed to make for her; like who her parents were or who her heart chose to fall in love with. It was an old anger she thought gone or used up. Apparently, it’d only been buried. It had reared its ugly head and put a whole town as well as three clans, at unrest. Drake thought she could lead a whole clan. All she’d proven was that she could cause trouble and couldn’t be trusted.
“My life has been one mistake after another. I won’t let you be one of them too. We will leave tonight. Maybe I’m a danger to my kind, maybe even to you. But, without you I’m nothing… once again.” She looked up into Kane’s eyes, touched by the way his face had grimaced, his eyes had fallen closed for a second. He shook his head, denied her accusations against herself. He loved her. “You, Kane, are one of the very few good things that I’ve ever gotten in this life. I believe Drake would be behind us in our decision to go out and live for ourselves. He certainly lived that way himself, to a fault sometimes. But I won’t lose you. Just you and me against this big old world, okay? We will find a way to live. We don’t need much right, if we have each other. You’ve said that before.”
“Right. We can live in a cave if we have to. But I have some money saved up. I can go back and get it when it’s safe to do so.”
“Me too. I can go back once Isaac is out of Drake’s place. He has a safe there. Isaac doesn’t need the money. He has plenty from his job as a bounty hunter. So, we stay away from the Willows, but also stay close enough until the time comes we can get some money to support us at first.”
“It’s all worked out. Now, how about some you and me time? You are making me sound pathetic by begging. We have the rest of our lives to make love of course, but let’s get started now anyway.” His wink made him look dark, sexy and seductive.
When she kissed him again, Amberlyn could hear the tempting beat of his heart. She’d bitten him in the height of the moment already as he always let her give into the bloodlust. It was a myth that just the bite of a Vampire could kill a Werewolf, just as his bite wouldn’t be her end either. Drake had let her in on some of the myths that had been propagated to keep the clans apart. They both knew their limits and worked well together as they both liked to ride along the dangerous edges of their boundaries.
Amberlyn took the initiative now, as poor Kane had patiently begged for since they’d arrived. She went right for his neck and he growled at her instinctively. When she tried to be dominant, it roused the animal that lived within him. She liked to tease the wolf. Even being enemies – as her kind had called them – they’d run side by side once, dared the odds, the fates. His wolf, her Vampire, under a full moon. With her naked and him covered in fur, they’d proven their kinds could be friends and then some. Okay, so she’d no need to be naked, just wanted to be. But, it’d been so freeing. Just the thought of him in his animal form thrilled her. The fierce power of the animal got her all wet. Finally, she throbbed for the man to thrust inside of her as animalistic and uninhibited as he could.
The two of them could go all night and she was suddenly more than in the mood again. If day sleep caught her before they could move on, she trusted him implicitly to protect her during the daylight hours while she slept in the hotel room.
His fingers played in her hair as she moved lower. Her kisses fell on his shoulder, explored the ridges and valleys of his muscular chest and abs, all rock hard like an athlete. Kane kissed the top of her head and ran his hands over her back, dug his fingers in to her flesh when she ran her elongated fangs over his nipple. She licked over the grazed, not scratched, but still really sensitive bud. Her hot breath was even more of a sensual tease, and she felt his cock grow thick against her leg.
Once she had his shirt open all the way, she let her fingers play with the dark-brown hair that covered his chest. Good thing she loved her men hairy. He was a beast, human or wolf, and she loved it. The allure of the hair, which converged into a V-shape, pointing her straight into his jeans, was more than she could take. She opened them, peeled them from his body as he laid all spread out on the mattress of their hotel bed. His smile, wide with a bit of a wicked upturn at the corners of his mouth, spurred her on.
She climbed up over him like a wolf herself, ready to devour every inch of him. Her fangs fully extended now, she carefully licked over his erection. She loved watching the muscles in his arms and abs twitch as he kept control, and resisted the urge to jump at the sensations so he wouldn’t wound himself on her sharp teeth. When she noticed him focus in on her, her heart leapt. She followed through on the devious though
t that had just entered her head. Catching him unaware, she turned him over onto his stomach, pounced onto his back, and pinned him down on the bed. Amberlyn turned toward his feet; she sat on the slope of his back, her fingernails scratched over his ass. She kneaded the flesh, grasped it with her long fingers and the wetness built between her legs. She had her own panties wet.
That’s when she decided she needed to be out of them. She still straddled him, made it a challenge – as did his hands, which reached back blindly behind him in an attempt to touch any part of her that he could. He laughed, deep, gravely, a sound that vibrated through her as well and increased her need. His fingertips were everywhere, ran over her ass, touched her back, her hips. Yet, with her on him as she was, he couldn’t get to her sex that wept for him, for the anticipated invasion of his cock pushed up inside her. First things first though.
As the man moved under her, his struggle more show than anything else, she gently touched his balls, exposed between his thighs. This got him to stop wiggling, to moan, to then grind his erection into the mattress. His ass working, the muscles tightening under her hands, she licked over her fangs.
“May I bite you?”
“Bite me anywhere you like, baby. You obviously have a spot in mind back there. I can practically feel you salivating over it.”
“I do. A delicious looking one actually. All nice, firm and rounded. Damn, but you have the best ass.” She gave him a playful swat before she leaned over to kiss the beautiful globes. As she snuck her hands around his waist, he lifted his hips enough to let her move her hands under him and wrap her fingers around his erection. As she grasped him tightly, she licked over the right cheek of his ass, sucked on a section of the skin there and brought the blood she could hear rushing through his veins closer to the surface.