by Kallysten
Bergsen pulled a small box from his pocket and thumbed the lid open. Light reflected on the silver sword when he pinned it to the collar of Lorenzo's uniform. Wilhelm closed his eyes, and let the thanks and promises to do better slide over him. It had not been his idea, and he had tried not to let his personal feelings interfere when Bergsen had told him about this. All he could hope was that this new responsibility would not prevent Lorenzo from fulfilling his other duties.
* * * *
“So what did Ariadne say?”
“She wasn't too happy. She tried not to show it but I know she was wondering.”
Wilhelm kept his eyes on the horizon as he nodded. So far, there had been no signs of demons, but the night was still young, and they might attack before it was over. From the corner of his eye, he could see that Lorenzo was fidgeting, raising his hand to touch the pin at his throat, as though to assure himself that it was really there.
“I've been wondering too, actually,” Lorenzo said at last. “She's been in the Guard longer than me, and she's been cited by her superiors far more often. She should have been promoted long before me.”
He stopped there, but Wilhelm heard the unasked question anyway. He turned to face Lorenzo, and could see, in the light of the rising moon, the same young vampire he had first met a little more than a year earlier and had convinced so easily to join the Guard. Lorenzo had been killing humans at the time, along with the other members of his clan. Without a Master to rein them in, they had been like children left unsupervised for too long. Wilhelm had jumped in and asserted his authority as easily as if they had truly been his Childer.
“No. I did not tell Bergsen to give you that promotion. You earned it for yourself.”
Lorenzo nodded at that, and seemed to straighten his shoulders a little, his pride evident. Still, Wilhelm's answer had not completely satisfied him.
“But Aria,” he started, and stopped when Wilhelm shook his head.
“She'll be promoted, eventually. But not before she reaches twenty. Bergsen's policy, and I can't fault him on it. She's too young to lead.”
Lorenzo's lips twisted in a dry smile.
“She'd be pissed off if she heard you say that. She's still ranting on how you didn't help her join the Cadets, and kept her in an office after she was sworn into the Guard because you thought she was too young.”
Wilhelm shrugged. “I still think she'd be better off elsewhere, and I'm not going to change my mind about that.”
“Even though she's a damn fine fighter?”
“Damn fine or not, fighters get hurt. Or worse.”
“Not when I'm around.”
“True. You've been doing a good job so far. Just keep it up.”
Something on the horizon was stirring. Wilhelm picked up the phone at his waist and flipped it open. Others might have raised the alarm already, but he wasn't taking chances.
“Go find her,” he told Lorenzo. “Keep her safe.”
Lorenzo saluted him. “Yes, sir.”
* * * *
When I think back of the night I met Lorenzo, I can't help seeing the scene through different eyes. Back then, I was a young girl on her first official night on duty at the walls, and the soldier I met that night, the man I soon realized was a vampire, was just sweet, funny and cute. Today, I know he was nice to me because Will had asked him to be.
I had thought I had won, when Will relented and obtained my transfer to active duty. But all he did was switch tactics. He couldn't lock me up in an office, so he gave me a babysitter. Vampire, so he'd have a better chance of protecting me. Relatively young, so we'd bond more easily. And bond, we did.
Lorenzo had my back from the first night on. It's something relatively common in the Guard; most of us can't afford to fight demons alone. Will is one of the rare exceptions to that rule.
Lorenzo was new in the Guard, as I was, but I had the benefit of almost two years of Cadet training behind me. The training for vampires is far less thorough than that. Honestly, when I saw him handling that sword, I started thinking that I had to look over him. It took me four nights to convince him to try an axe instead. With his way of swinging with all his strength in the blow, it just made more sense.
I had never had much interest in vampires before. The only vampire I knew was Will, and he was very... special to me. For years, I thought of him as a hero that was keeping me safe, and later... But I was talking about Lorenzo, wasn't I?
I was saying I never had an interest in vampires before meeting Lorenzo. In truth, I never did even after. When we started talking, on those nights when no demons showed up, or when I started showing him fighting moves, it wasn't a vampire I had in front of me. It was a young man, just a few years older than me, who was funny, and a bit dorky. A man, I learned after a few weeks, who kissed like an angel. A few weeks more, and I knew he made love like a devil.
The night after I first slept with Lorenzo, we crossed paths with Will over the walls. When he looked at me—at us—he seemed colder than I had ever seen him, but when the demons attacked, he fought with a fire come straight from hell. He'll deny it to the day he's ashes but I knew it from the first night. He was jealous.
I always wondered how he never saw coming that Lorenzo would start looking over me for a reason other than that Will asked him to do so. Or maybe he did anticipate we'd get that close, but he didn't realize it would affect him as much. It's one of those things he refuses to talk about.
I think—no, I know—that Lorenzo did more than like me. Love isn't a word he would ever have used, but like simply isn't enough. The most he ever admitted to was caring, and he proved it many times, in many ways.
I wasn't happy when I found out about why Lorenzo had first taken an interest in me, and Will and I had a shouting match about it. Well, I shouted, and Will just stood there. He can be so stubborn. He never apologized for it. He did understand I was upset, at least, and he tried to make things better by sending me roses. It confused the hell out of me. What kind of man plays matchmaker then sends the woman flowers?
Time has healed that wound for me, and today I can't regret having known Lorenzo, even if Will pushed him toward me. It might have started as an assignment for him, but what we shared was real. And without him, I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't be what I am. And I wouldn't have Will.
Chapter 6
Twenty-eight years earlier, over the course of a week, miles and miles of fortifications had been constructed around the city. The mayor had launched a wide call for volunteers, and the population had responded beyond all expectations. Most people who had come to the construction sites had known nothing about building up walls but there had been enough people who did, and the multitude of hands had helped to create five-foot wide and twenty-foot high fortifications of stone and concrete, reinforced with steel. They weren't impenetrable, and the point of entry in particular was vulnerable despite huge doors that were replaced regularly, but they were enough. Engineers around the country now often based their reinforcement designs over what had come to be called the Newhaven model.
Leaning against the safeguard at the top of the walls, Wilhelm kept his eyes on the small troop of demons advancing toward the city. They'd be there in a few minutes. The Guard was ready, every soldier armed and focused.
Or rather, almost every soldier.
At the foot of the walls, two soldiers were talking, and demons or the coming fight seemed to be the last things on their minds.
“Aria, come on, drop it.”
That was Lorenzo. Wilhelm could have clubbed him over the head. He wouldn't be getting anywhere with this kind of exasperated protest.
“Drop it? I tell you I love you, and the best answer you can come up with is that we should get ready for the fight! I am not dropping it!”
When they had started talking, Ariadne had been whispering, but now she didn't seem to care anymore who might hear. Lorenzo still did though; he shushed her and dropped his voice to an urgent murmur.
“You know I c
an't say it. I've told you vamps don't love, not like humans do. Would you rather I lie to you?”
Before she could answer, the call to arms sounded, three short tones that announced the imminent attack of demons. The archers on the walls put themselves in position; they wouldn't shoot until the next bell rang. At the foot of the walls, the troops lined up. Wilhelm glanced down at Ariadne and Lorenzo. Her position was perfect, her eyes on the approaching demons; at her side, Lorenzo was fidgeting, alternating glances at the demons and at her as though he were waiting for her to answer his question.
Wilhelm looked again at the demons. There were barely a dozen of them and the fight would be no more than a skirmish. He had other places to be, other things to do. He should have left and let the Guard do what it did best—fight. But when he descended the stairs, just as the last warning echoed over the walls, it was to pass the doors right as they were being closed, a sword already in his hand. Lorenzo and Ariadne were both distracted and it wasn't the way to start a fight, any fight, even one that didn't promise to be too arduous.
The demons charged. First blood was drawn on both sides. Wilhelm focused on the task at hand, allowing only a tiny part of his attention to remain on Ariadne and Lorenzo. Usually they fought side by side, protecting each other, but tonight she kept advancing and leaving Lorenzo behind. Every time he caught up with her, she changed course, turning her back on him and on his help until he gave up pursuing her and began paying more attention to the axe in his hand and what damage it could make. Wilhelm growled. Lorenzo should have known better than leave her on her own.
He started weaving his way closer to her, slashing at demons but not fighting any given one long enough to kill it. Even so, he wasn't quick enough. All he could do was shout when a lance pierced Ariadne's armor and plunged into her abdomen. At the same instant, her sword connected with the demon's neck and her momentum finished the blow, almost severing its head, and then she was down.
In the middle of the battle, Wilhelm didn't know if anyone else had noticed. He couldn't take the risk that no one had. He ran to her, picked her up and carried her to the doors, banging on them until the small entrance carved in the middle of them opened, the metal locks clanking as they were pulled.
“Medics!”
The shout hadn't finished passing his lips before the gurney was there and hands were prying Ariadne from his arms and laying her down. Her eyes opened as the medics pulled her toward the ambulance and a look of panic crossed her face as she looked around her, a look that disappeared when her gaze found Wilhelm walking next to the stretcher. Her hand rose toward him.
“Stay with me.”
She coughed; her lips became flecked with blood. The medics urged her not to talk as they hoisted the cot into one of the waiting ambulances, but she didn't seem to hear them.
“I don't want to die alone.”
Wilhelm climbed in after her. Someone started saying he couldn't come but he looked at the man coldly, and before long the human was turning away, flustered. He jumped out of the ambulance and swung the doors closed. One bang on the side of the vehicle and at once they were in motion.
There were two medics busy over Ariadne. Wilhelm tried not to look at them or at the various things they poked or prodded her with. Instead he sat on the edge of a box by her head and reached for her hand. It felt too cold between his, colder than it had been, a lifetime ago it seemed, when she had taken his.
“Is it true that vampires can't love?”
The words slid over Wilhelm, almost too foreign for him to comprehend. But her eyes were waiting for an answer, and he struggled to find one that wouldn't upset her.
“It's what all vampires are taught,” he said, his voice wavering slightly.
“But is it true?”
The ambulance came to a stop, the doors were flung open and he tried to let go of her hand so she could be wheeled away. She held on to him, however, and he had no choice but to follow and try to answer when she repeated her question again.
“In my experience, no, it’s not. But when you’ve been taught otherwise, it can be hard to see.” He paused for a second, to try and make his voice firmer. “It can be hard to admit too when it’s a human you care about, because humans are so fragile and you know they’ll probably die long before you.”
Someone was trying to slide a mask over her face, she pushed it away with her free hand long enough to ask in a small voice, “Am I going to die?”
“No. I'm not going to let that happen. Not now, not ever.”
Her eyelids fluttered closed, even as the hand clinging to his became limp. Wilhelm ground his teeth and turned to the medic at his side. She was a vampire and one of the best surgeons the Guard could count on. She met his eyes with steely determination and he nodded.
“Don't make me a liar.”
* * * *
Wilhelm had been pacing in the deserted waiting area for half an hour when Lorenzo rushed in.
“Where is she? Is she going to be all right? Did she—”
His gasp of pain when Wilhelm punched him in the stomach was the most beautiful sound.
“Where were you?” he growled. He had to struggle with himself not to punch Lorenzo again.
“The battle just ended, I couldn't get here—”
“Where were you when a lance was thrust into your charge?”
Lorenzo's head snapped up and his features darkened. “She didn't want me anywhere near her! What was I supposed to do?”
“Keep her safe.” Wilhelm's words were ice. “I don't care about your excuses. I don't care that she didn't want you there. All I know is that you have a job to do, and if it takes lying to do it, then for heaven's sake lie!”
With a frustrated shout Lorenzo turned away, fingers raking his hair furiously.
“I won't tell her I love her. You can't ask me to do that.”
“Why not?” Wilhelm snapped. “It's true.”
Lorenzo started laughing, the sound on the edge of hysteria, but he stopped abruptly and whirled back toward Wilhelm. There was a new light in his widening eyes, and Wilhelm didn't like it at all.
“I get it,” he said, sounding as though he had just come across a surprising revelation. “You're not upset because I won't tell her I love her. You're upset because she said she loves me.” His laughter now was mocking. “You're jealous!”
Wilhelm shook his head, but it didn't stop Lorenzo.
“Why don't you tell her you love her?”
“Don't be ridiculous,” Wilhelm scoffed. “Vampires can't love.”
* * * *
I've heard that phrase so often over the years that it has lost all meaning as far as I'm concerned. It's true that all vamps are taught they can't love; it's usually one of their first lessons. It was one of mine. But it's also one of the biggest myths that surround us, one that scares humans a little; if we can't love, then we have to be more different from them than we look, and if we are, then what else are we hiding?
When I woke up after the surgery, the first thing I remember was a scent. Roses. I opened my eyes and they were there, on a table just by my head. White roses. Even in the glaring hospital light they were beautiful, and if I had ever thought that white roses were unlucky, I stopped believing it at that moment. There was an envelope propped against the vase and I tried to reach for it. That small movement awakened pain in my entire body and I cried out. The next second, a nurse rushed in.
“Don't try moving,” she advised me at once, and came to look at whatever machines were hooked up to me. On her way, she frowned at the roses. “I don't know who was insensitive enough to bring these. I'll take them away as soon as I'm done here.”
“No.” My throat was parched but I pushed the words out anyway. “I like them. Can you give me the note?”
“No. I told you not to move. But I'll read it to you.”
The note wasn't signed, but of course I knew who had written it. All it said was, “Never scare me like that again.” Will is a true poet, sometimes.
I kept expecting him to visit me, kept remembering his hand in mine and his voice promising I'd be okay. But he didn't come, not for the entire time I was in the hospital. That was just one more thing for me to yell about when I saw him next.
A doctor came in, sat down with me, broke the news that I'd never be able to have children. I just stared at her when she was done and wondered how to tell her that I had never wanted to have any to begin with. All I could think when she left me alone was that Will would have understood. Better than anyone else, I thought, he knew how much the Guard meant to me. It was more than a career, it was my life. If the doctor had said I'd never fight again, then I would have had reasons to be upset.
When Lorenzo walked in, the first thing I felt—the only thing I felt—was guilt. Because I had thought about Will since waking up, enough to wonder where he was and when he would come to see me, but I hadn't given a single thought to the man who had been my boyfriend for the past four years.
He pulled a chair and sat down next to me.
“I need to tell you something. Something very important. When I arrived in this town, I had nothing. My clan was in tatters, our Sire was dead, and we didn't know where to go or what to do. Will came to us, gave us a choice. Gave me a purpose. Protecting you.”
I would have stopped him, then, but he didn't let me. He just kept talking, as though he needed to get it all out. He probably did, I suppose.
“It was just a job at first and then we started talking, and you taught me to fight better, and I began to… care. I felt something I hadn’t felt since I was turned, something I thought I could never feel again. Something I wasn’t supposed to feel. And it stopped to be a job. It became just natural to protect you, like you protected me. And today on the field, I felt… naked without you at my back, and seeing you lying there, hurt and bleeding… it was like dying all over again, except more painful this time.”