“I do like it here. I was here when the call came in for Vicente.”
It felt odd to her, that he had been here in her neck of the woods and she hadn’t known. He commanded so much space, it almost seemed to her she would have somehow sensed his presence.
Her mind was racing, absorbing and underneath it all ran a relieved delight, not just that he wasn’t the bad guy she’d feared that night, but that he was one of the very good guys, doing work she could respect and admire. Perhaps on some level she’d known it all along. Why else would she have had the nerve to get in his face all the time?
Which was a good thing, since the vivid, unquenchable memory of his kiss had surged into her mind with undeniable force.
“Quinn,” she said, then stopped, uncertain what to say.
She saw by the change in his expression that he’d read her easily.
“Hayley, I’m sorry you got sucked into this. I know now we can trust you to not say anything until the hearings are over and Vicente is safe in his new life.”
“Of course,” she said, “but that’s not—”
“Someone will let you know when that is, in case you miss the news.”
She didn’t bother to ask how they’d find her number, knowing they probably already had it. “All right, but—”
“You know it was he who insisted you have the run of the cabin, while he stayed hidden. He felt responsible for you getting sucked up into this.”
“I know he’s a good man. But it’s you I—”
“Let’s pick up Cutter and get you both back home.”
He moved as if he were going to stand up and leave right now.
“Just like that? It’s over?” She sucked in a breath and made herself say the one thing she knew he was trying not to hear. “What happened between us—”
“Is impossible, Hayley.” The only thing that kept her from being furious was the genuine regret in his voice. “You were caught up in a nightmare situation, you handled it incredibly well, now it’s time to go home.”
She ignored the compliment. “Why is it impossible?”
“Because it wasn’t real, not really. You were scared, in danger, that does strange things to your psyche.”
“So I just imagined that meltdown that happens when we kiss?”
His eyes closed. She saw his lips part as he drew in a deep breath. She relished every sign that he wasn’t as cool and calm as he tried to appear. Not about this.
“No,” he said softly, in the tone of a man who wished he could say otherwise. He could have lied, Hayley thought, but he didn’t. Her pulse kicked up another notch.
He opened his eyes and met her gaze. “My life is crazy. I’m always going from place to place. Most times it’s routine, but sometimes it’s like this was, dangerous. It’s not a life anybody would want to share.” He shook his head slowly, lowered his gaze, rubbed at his forehead as if weariness was finally catching up with him. “I’ve tried. It just doesn’t work.”
“I’m sure it would be difficult. It would take the right person. Somebody who understood why it has to be the way it is.”
“I won’t ask any woman to put up with it. Not again. And I can’t stop doing it.”
“No!” It broke from her so loudly it startled even her. “No,” she repeated, more normally. “You’re doing a great thing, you can’t stop.”
“Easy to say when you haven’t had to live with it. It’s time for you to get back to your life.”
“I had no life,” she said, not realizing until the words came out how true they were. “I was treading water, floundering, since my mom died. Going through the motions. No job to go back to, no work that interested me.”
“Applying for a job with us?”
“Would you give me one?”
He grimaced. “I think that might complicate things even more.”
“You mean…because of this?”
She leaned in, before he had a chance to pull back, and kissed him. For an instant he stiffened, but so quickly it soothed her nerves and calmed her uncertainty, he responded, making a low sound that thrilled her as his hands came up to her shoulders and pulled her close. The fire that had only been banked flared up fiercer than ever, and this time Hayley let it burn, in fact stoked it as best she knew how, not caring if she looked foolish or inexperienced, risking it all on the certainty that what she was feeling had to be mutual.
Quinn slid back on the sofa, pulling her on top of him. She went, eagerly, kissing him harder, deeper, loving every groan she ripped from him, every tightening of his fingers on her, every arching move of his aroused body against her that proved she was right.
When at last she pulled back he was gasping.
“That,” she said unsteadily, “is something else I didn’t have in my life. Have never had. Because it’s something rare, special.”
“I know,” he said, looking a little shell-shocked. “I wish—”
“Don’t wish. You of all people should know that’s for kids.”
Something odd flashed in his eyes then. “Yes, I do know.”
“Then you should also know this—us—is too special to walk away from.”
“I never said I wanted to walk away.” He tightened his arms around her. “God, who the hell would want to walk away from this?”
“Then don’t.”
“But—”
“You need to just listen. I want purpose in my life. I lost that for a while, but I’ve found it again now. I need that kind of goal, to do the right thing. The kind of thing that used to be the rule, not the exception.”
His eyes had widened slightly, and he opened his mouth as if to speak. She put a finger on his lips, hushing him.
“You said I was strong, that I handled this better than you ever would have expected. I can handle what you sometimes have to do. I would love to help you in your work. But I need you more. If I can’t have both, and I have to choose, I choose you.”
“Ah, God, Hayley, you’re killing me.”
“Don’t walk away from this. From us. You’re not asking me to put up with it. I’m volunteering.”
He reached up and smoothed back a strand of her hair. His mouth quirked. “I meant that literally. If you don’t move I may never be able to…show you how much what you said means to me.”
She realized suddenly her leg was pressing rather definitely against a very rigid and highly sensitive part of him. She nearly jumped, but he seemed to sense it and grabbed her in time to stop the sudden move that might have made things worse.
“Easy. I have plans for that later.”
She was so embarrassed it took her a moment to process the change in him. She lifted her head to look at him, saw in those blue eyes that seemed so readable now the truth of what had just happened. Quinn had given up fighting her.
“Just like that, you surrender?” She wasn’t quite sure she believed it, and it echoed in her voice.
“Maybe my heart wasn’t really in the fight,” he said. “Maybe I wanted to surrender all along.”
Hayley’s heart began to pound, so hard she marveled he couldn’t hear it.
“You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, Hayley Cole. And you’re right. What happens between us is too rare to turn my back on. And maybe…maybe you can deal with it.”
“I dealt with it when I had no idea what the heck was going on. Imagine what I could do if I knew the plan.”
That won a smile from him, and Hayley felt it was no small victory.
And then he was kissing her, and all thoughts of plans vanished, leaving only victory and surrender, and the sweetness of sharing both equally.
They were late picking up Cutter, but the dog didn’t seem to mind at all.
Quinn woke with the pleasant knowledge that his arm was merely tender, not aching, and the far beyond merely pleasant knowledge that Hayley was curled up against him. The room was pleasantly cool, and the predawn air held the promise of the impending winter. He’d been happy to find she liked to sleep as he did, warm and snu
g in a cold room.
Oh, and naked. There was that, too. She’d told him she’d had to resort to pajamas when she’d been running to check on her mother at all hours, but now she seemed to have forgotten where she’d put them, and he wasn’t about to complain.
He’d never known such unending sweetness. Whether he woke her in the night, hot and needy, or even better, she woke him in the same condition, or they came together in the daylight, in the morning in her big shower, the afternoon on the big couch or the evening in her bed, it was hotter and more imperative than anything he’d ever known, or even known was possible.
He even liked the cuddling afterward. Of course, that’d she’d told him to think of it as foreplay for the next time helped, he thought now with a grin into the faint light of dawn.
“Going to do something with that, or waste it?”
Her sleepy voice was accompanied by a delicious wiggle of her hips against flesh that had been well aware of her closeness long before he’d actually awakened.
“Got any suggestions?” he whispered against her hair.
“I’ll think of something.”
He laughed, and pulled her closer. And then, so easily, so perfectly, he was sliding into her. A groan of pleasure rippled up from deep in his chest, and he marveled again how it always seemed new, fierce, intense. Deeper, long slow strokes, until she went wild beneath him, driving him wild in turn, until the moment when she cried out his name and sent him spiraling out of control with the clenching of her body.
Much later, when he normally would have been back to sleep, he instead was thinking of the day to come. It had been a quiet, healing, lovely week, enough to tell him that he should seriously consider this as his permanent location. He’d even managed to, temporarily, put the mole out of his mind. But this afternoon he was taking her to St. Louis, to see the headquarters of the foundation. Cutter, back to himself now, feisty and energetic, would be staying with Mrs. Peters and her son for a few days, although Quinn had the idea he’d better start looking into crates for transporting the dog wherever they were going. He wouldn’t mind having the dog along on a lot of operations; he’d more than proved his usefulness.
As had Hayley. When the chips were down, she’d come through beautifully. For the first time he was entertaining the idea that maybe he could have it all. That maybe she was right, that in the past, he’d just never found the right person.
He couldn’t be sure it would really work, not until they tried. But try they would. Because he did know, deep in his gut, that if it couldn’t work with Hayley, it would never work with anyone.
Well, Hayley and Cutter.
Just the thought of the dog made him smile; it seemed to Quinn that Cutter thought he himself had brought them all together on purpose.
And who knows, maybe he had.
Hayley sat up, shoving her hair back, yawning before saying, “Quinn?”
Her voice never failed to make him smile, just because. He lay there and just looked at her, letting it flow over him, that sense of peace he’d never found anywhere else.
“What?”
“Who’s Charlie?”
He laughed; she’d repeated the question almost daily since they’d been here.
He answered as he always did.
“You’ll see.”
And she would. Today. The first day of a future that seemed brighter than anything but her smile.
* * * * *
ISBN: 9781459223394
Copyright © 2012 by Janice Davis Smith
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