by Kirk, A
I launched into a graceful ninja-like front roll, then stood my ground to face the monstrous heathen, fearless in my determination to vanquish the deadly foe.
Nah, just kidding. I bolted, discretion being the better part of not getting dead.
I’d been seeing demons for a few years now. Yeah, those nasty creatures that should be in hell but instead are wreaking havoc on earth. If they were close by, sometimes I could even locate them using this weird second-sight that I wished would go Helen Keller. It was the crappiest superpower on the planet, but I’d dealt with my unfortunate situation in a mature and responsible manner. I ignored it. And so did the demons.
Until tonight when this one changed the rules and attacked while I was on my run. I’d tripped and stumbled over a rotting log which is why the SUV had taken the death blow meant for me. Wish I could say it was a deviously clever move, but the truth is I’ve got grace management issues.
A guttural hiss vibrated the leaves. Ancient wings slapped the air with fury. The scary monster noises threatened to paralyze me, so I ignored them and concentrated on running. Fast. Counting houses to keep the panic at bay.
Something darted out from my left, ground level. I swerved right, nearly falling, but kept going. I glanced back. A dog, one of those tiny, foo-foo things, scampered out on stubby legs, planted its feet, and started barking skyward. The demon diverted its sights from me and swooped down on the yappy mutt.
Dogs aren’t my thing.
I hate dogs.
And if this one was dumb enough to sacrifice itself for me, hallelujah. I kept running.
After I reversed course.
Stupid dog.
I dived head first and scooped up the mongrel as I slid by, feeling a rush of air from the giant beast passing overhead. A reddish sheen covered my eyes. I’d cut it so close the demon’s talon sliced through my ponytail elastic and released an onslaught of thick massive curls that cascaded over my face.
On foot again, I flung back my hair and continued my retreat, the squirming dog growling protests against my chest.
“Ungrateful mutt,” I growled back.
I sensed a presence looming overhead and dodged into a driveway, happy to toss the annoying pup into a garage where it tumbled under a sedan. A blow from behind lurched my body forward. I would’ve gone down but instead found myself airborne. And gaining altitude.
Not good, because last I checked, I couldn’t fly.
Acknowledgments
Thank you, favored and cherished reader, for all your gifs, images, and hilariously supportive comments. The day we uncovered you’re enthusiastic and giggle-inducing remarks was the day we realized we would give you the best dang sequel you deserved, no matter how long and hard we had to work!
Thank you to all the people who patiently explained to Alyssa why social media was more efficient than showing up randomly at people’s house and doing face-to-face interactions to learn the latest 411. Also for making it clear that people don’t use the term 411 anymore. Duly noted, homeslice. Wait, we can’t use homeslice? Since when?!
Thank you also for attempting to keep a straight-face while Alyssa mispronounced Pinterest (it’s not Pie-Tourist, Pine-Trist, or any other way she slaughtered it) and learned how to use The Facebook, The Twitter and that stupid thing with the little red notification number that links to that blinky flag thing that links to something else that finally gets Alyssa to where she was trying to get to in the first place. You know who you are oh patient ones.
HUGE thanks to Mark. Best husband and dad ever who smiled and supported all our weird hours, nightmare inducing happy dances when we made a writing breakthrough, who also reminded us to eat, usually cooked the meal, and definitely baked delicious cookies when we sprinted face-first into writer’s block.
Thanks to Gregory and Jake, best and oddest sons/little bros who got us weight lifting so we could Chuck Norris karate chop the writer’s block. And who also executed sneak attacks when least expected upon an innocent sister to keep her on her toes for when the ninjas attack. Or the zombies. But most likely ninjas.
Thanks to The Sage, a.k.a. our editor, who moonlights as a ninja. Which is why we don’t need training to defend against ninjas because The Sage would ninja-eliminate all possible ninja threats. Obviously. The Sage is all powerful and is the embodiment of patience and wisdom, and the DIVINICUS NEX CHRONICLES’ awesomeness is due so much in part to him. Thank you so very, very much. And we’re not just saying all that so you, The Sage, ninja-dispatch any potential ninja threats.
Thanks to our fantastic interior designer, Cheryl Perez, at You’re Published, whose ninjistic skills make the inside of our book look amazing, and way more designer than the inside of our house.
And finally to our cover artist, Elena Dudina, our favorite lady from Spain, who takes our crude drawings for cover ideas and uses supernatural skills to make our fantasies come true. No, not those fantasies. The ones about how our covers should look. Jeez, people.
And for those who are wondering why we’re so obsessed with ninjas, the answer is…we have no idea. Not that anyone is asking, because, honestly, who reads these acknowledgements anyway? Oh, wait. You do.
Wow. Thanks. You must be a ninja.
About the Authors
This mother-daughter duo were in and out of inter-dimensional paranormal prisons until they finally quit making up cover stories for secret societies and started writing novels. The Supernatural Continuum Warlords of the Supernatural Continuum Warlordian High Command had pity upon them, and instead of having them slaughtered by the slow, tortuous flesh eating underwater, earthworm squid, they transported them into a habitationally friendly dimension called OOARCHTOHUTHLAMADILFRUMP, also known as 21st Century Earth. Due to a demon infestation in their sleepy mountain California town, and a lack of sexy Hex Boys to stop them, Alyssa and Eileen were forced to relocate to Los Angeles. The Amazon best seller, DEMONS AT DEADNIGHT, is book one in the DIVINICUS NEX CHRONICLES series, and the first of their exclusive re-creations of supernatural society secrets. You can uncover more paranormal, inter-dimensional classified information at AEKIRK.com and Facebook.com/AandEKirk.com. Citizens of Earth, you are welcome.