by Jayne Blue
“Come on, kid,” E.Z. said. I hated when he called me that. As V.P., he was the only old-timer left along with Bear. But I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him. I followed E.Z. into the back conference room. The rest of the members had already taken their seats. The expression on every face was grave.
“All our people accounted for?” Bear asked. He didn’t just mean the men at this table. He meant every family member. Those who had old ladies brought them here. Gina had Zig’s baby boy with her too.
“Everybody’s here,” Deacon answered, “except for Jenny. She’s taking point with P.A.P.D.” Jenny was Benz’s woman and a police detective. Though I knew Benz would rest easier with her under our roof, she could do us more good at work today.
“And Bo? Anybody get a hold of him?” There was hard tension in Bear’s voice. Bo’s absence had been a sore spot with him. Though I wasn’t privy to the circumstances, Bo was still AWOL.
“Bo can take care of his own damn self,” E.Z. shouted. He was right, but I didn’t like the vitriol in the way he said it.
“What do we know?” Bear asked.
“Gina’s been on the phone with her uncles,” Zig said. “This wasn’t about the DiSalvos. She’s sure of it.”
Zig’s wife was now head of one of the biggest organized crime families in the country. I hated that I found myself hoping this hit was for them. I knew in my heart it wasn’t. Everyone at this table did.
“Come on, Bear,” E.Z. said. “Why are we even talking about this? This has the Hawks written all over it. The longer we sit here with our thumbs up our asses, the more power it gives them. We need to strike back and fast.”
There were rumblings of agreement around the table. Bear’s jaw hardened. We’d been down this road so many times before. Bear was cautious. He wasn’t about to lead the club into a war unless there was no other choice. If this was the Hawks, I didn’t see how he couldn’t.
“We are going to act from strength and solid information, E.Z., not quick rage. Everyone hear me? You all are going to calm your shit and we’re going to handle this as a club. First things first: until I say otherwise, we are on lockdown. Nobody leaves this house without my permission. That goes for your old ladies too. Until we have more intel, we’re not taking any chances. Do I have to remind you how close we came to an all-out war based on a fucking misunderstanding?”
Maddox dropped his head. That comment was leveled straight at him. His own father had taken matters into his own hands and offed a member of the Hawks on faulty information. Bear’s cool head had been the only thing between us and disaster.
“This has Fitzie written all over it and you know it,” E.Z. said. “That little fucking traitor knows exactly how heavy we’re into things at Cups and all along the docks. Why do you think they picked that place to target? Never mind poor fucking Wendy. You think Gina’s family is going to be able to open the doors anytime soon? Business is going to tank. It’ll start there and work its way all down the docks.”
E.Z. had a point. This was exactly the kind of thing we feared when Fitzie flipped sides and sought sanctuary with our biggest rivals. The legit businesses along the docks were our safest money makers. If we couldn’t protect them, the whole town would lose faith in the Dark Saints. The careful balance we kept with local law enforcement would collapse. There was a small part of me that could step back and view what happened today with a neutral eye. If the Hawks were looking to escalate things and hurt us, shooting up Cups was pure genius. Quiet rage settled in my heart.
Bear’s look was stone cold. E.Z. had come perilously close to questioning his judgment in front of the whole table.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he said. “E., you’re the last person I should have to remind how quick things can turn to shit if we launch into a fucking war without thinking it through. This shit is not going to stand. But nobody at this table is going to go out guns blazing looking to settle a score. You hear me?”
There were grumbles around the table. We’d been here before. Nearly on the brink of war, Bear had pulled us back. As I looked into each men’s eyes, I knew Bear might be hanging by a thread.
“We sit tight,” Axle said. This drew a few sharp breaths from some of the guys. Axle was the last person anyone would expect to call for restraint. “Bear’s right. Until we know for sure where this is coming from, we don’t do anything half-cocked or stupid.”
I clenched my fists. When I closed my eyes, all I could see were bullets flying and the terror on Quinn’s face. It could have been her. And all she’d done to deserve it was stand next to me.
“Dom,” Bear said, his tone flat. “We clear?”
Dammit, that old fucker knew me so well. This was new to me, having someone I cared about just as much as the men around this table. I could have lost her today. For that alone I wanted retaliation. But it was just the kind of thing Bear was scared of. This could be the Hawks. It probably was. It could also be someone trying to make us think it was the Hawks.
“Can we maybe think outside the box a little bit?” Deacon asked. He was usually so stoic at Church, the urgency in his voice got everyone’s attention.
“Dom,” he said. “I’m not trying to rile you or anything, but I gotta ask. You guys rattled the cage out in L.A. the other day. Is there any chance this was Oliver Ransom’s people?”
I carved my fingers into the wood of the table. Fuck. I’d been so focused on Quinn and the Hawks, I hadn’t let any other possibility sink in.
“I don’t think so,” Axle answered for me. “The guy’s got money, but his power is more industry based. We can ask around though. If he decided to spend some of that dough to make trouble for us, he'd have left a trail.”
“Good point,” Bear said. “Check into it. I’ll reach out to our allies with the Great Wolves and the Red Brigands. If this was the Hawks, they’ll know something. We reconvene tomorrow morning. Meantime, everybody handles their own business and don’t do anything that you know will piss me off.”
He knocked his knuckles to the table, signaling the end of the meeting. E.Z. opened his mouth to say something else but Bear’s hard gaze silenced him. I was already on my feet. After telling Axle I’d do everything I could to help him chase down Ransom’s dealings, I went to look for Quinn.
Mama had set her up in my apartment. I found her pacing in front of the bed, still wearing the shirt covered in Wendy’s blood. She chewed her thumbnail and whirled to face me as I loomed in the doorway.
We stood frozen for a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes. Quinn’s were bloodshot. She looked so small. Then she came to me, throwing her body against mine. I gathered her against me and kissed the top of her head.
So close. I’d been so close to losing her. At that moment, I knew I wouldn’t have survived it. Quinn brought a light into my heart I hadn’t known was missing. If she’d been hurt because of me, no power on this earth would have driven away the darkness.
“Are you okay, baby?” I asked, leading her to the bed. We sat slowly down and she leaned against my chest. She nodded and choked back a sob. She’d been so strong for so long, here in the solitary darkness, she started to fall apart.
“I thought I lost you,” she said. “And then, when you went for the door. The rage in your eyes. I thought you’d charge out of there and take a bullet just because you thought it would keep me safe.”
“I would have.” It was my voice, but it didn’t sound like me. Quinn looked up at me.
“I would have,” I said again, having trouble keeping back my own grief. “I will never let anything happen to you. Do you hear me? No matter what. If you ... when you leave ... when you go back to your own life ... I’m never going to let anyone hurt you. Even if we …”
“Even if we what?” She pulled away from me and wiped a tear from her cheek. “Dom ... I’m not going anywhere.”
Something shifted inside of me as I looked at her. The events of the last few weeks replayed in my mind. This woman had opened herse
lf up to me. She’d left her life and followed me into the unknown. She had everything. She was everything. And what had I given her in return? Wendy’s blood smeared her arm and stained her clothing.
“This is it, Quinn,” I said. “This is my life. This is my club. We’ll get through this. We’ll win. We always do. But it will be dark and hard and dirty. I can’t change that. I won’t change that. This is who I am.”
“I know who you are,” she said, lightly touching my face. Her eyes flicked over me. I took her wrist and pulled her hand away.
“Is this what you wanted?” I asked, hating the coldness in my voice. “Is this what you were looking for? Is this real enough for you?”
“Dom.”
I rose. Tearing a hand through my hair I walked toward the door. “You should get out as soon as you can.”
“What if I don’t want to?” Quinn faced my challenge, rising to her feet. Her tears fell again. God. It would always be like this. I would always make her cry. I should end it now. We both knew this path would destroy one of us if we stayed on it. I’d be damned if I let it be her.
“Who are you?”
Quinn smiled. She came to me. Sliding her hands up my chest she went on her tiptoes and kissed me. I stayed stone still. “You already know. Don’t you get it, Dom? You’re the only one who knows.”
I wanted her. It would destroy her. Already, it was starting to destroy me. I’d taken chances, brought my club into shit we didn’t need right now. But I burned for her. The answer was a thunderous drumbeat inside of me.
I wanted her. I loved her. If I were a better man, I could have said it. If I were a good man, I would never have taken her in the first place. I was neither of those things. Instead, I gently pulled her to me and kissed her deep and hard.
Chapter 19
Quinn
Josie Bullock’s military training served her well. Within an hour of arriving at the Saints clubhouse, everyone had a job. She put Ariel and Maya to work clearing space in the main room for cots and long tables. Josie worked in the kitchen making a big pot of chili. She put me at the stove, browning the meat. I immediately admitted that was about as far as my culinary skills went.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said smiling as she dipped a ladle into a big, silver stewpot. “You’ll do fine. I’m no expert, but I have a hunch your job requires you to be calm when surrounded by chaos.”
“That’s actually a good way to put it,” I said, breaking up a big chunk of meat at the center of the skillet. Josie reached over and turned the burner down. “Most people think it’s just fancy clothes and glamor. I mean, that’s part of it, but it’s …”
She leaned against the countertop wielding her ladle. Josie was slight, probably not much more than five feet tall. In her youth, I imagined she’d been stunning. She still was. She had deep blue eyes that stared right through me. With a natural lilt to her full lips, her resting face was a smirk.
“It’s hard work.” She smiled. “I suppose that’s the part people don’t realize, huh?”
My shoulders dropped. It was such a simple statement, but the intensity of her gaze said so much more. Mama wasn’t making small talk. I realized she never did. My eyes fluttered as tears sprang to them unbidden. Maybe it was the stress of the last twenty-four hours. Maybe it was the lack of sleep. But in the span of five minutes, this woman showed more genuine interest in me than anyone had since ... Domino.
“It’s very hard work,” I answered, dropping the pat, rehearsed answers I’d been trained to give over years of press tours and interviews. “Most of the time, I hate it. I mean, I really hate the bullshit that comes with it. I’ve never had a private life. I like the work. The creative part. I’m just not able to take that in the direction I want because of …”
Josie turned and dipped her ladle back into the stewpot. “Because of what you look like?”
“Right. I’ve said this to Domino. I hate how that might make me come off. I’m grateful. I know I have opportunities and good fortune that most people dream of.”
She turned back to me. “How old are you, honey?”
“What? Oh. I’ll be twenty-two next week.”
“Hmm. And you’ve been at this how long?”
“I was ten when I got my first paying gig.”
Josie raised a brow. “Well, then it sounds to me like you didn’t really have much of a say in the matter until now, did you?”
“What?” I clamped my jaw shut. It was in me to argue with her. Nobody had really ever asked me that or put it that way. I had this natural urge to defend my mother’s choices. “The money was good. Unbelievably good. It would have been nuts to pass that up. I mean, by the time I was thirteen, I’d made enough so we were set for life.”
“Hmm.” Josie kept stirring. “But when did you get to be a kid?”
I let out a breath. I had a different answer in mind, but before I said it, I decided to go for the truth. “I didn’t. I’ve been my mother’s sole support since then. Since before then.”
Josie raised one shoulder and turned back to me, smiling. She cocked her head to the side, considering me. Whatever she was thinking, she didn’t share it with me. Though her gaze was thoughtful, inquisitive, I didn’t feel judged. She was circumspect. “Do you love him?”
The question caught me completely off guard. For a fraction of a second, I felt duped. She’d gotten me to let my shields down then went in for the kill. “Josie ... Mam ... Mrs. You know? I’m not even sure what to call you?”
This got a soft laugh out of her. “You can call me Josie, for now.”
She kept her eyes fixed straight at me, not willing to let me deflect her original question. I took another sharp intake of air. “I think I might,” I answered. If I’d lied, she would have known. “But it’s …”
“He loves you,” she said. Her tone was hard. She wasn’t telling me this as some sort of compliment or even for my benefit. I knew instantly her own shields were up and it was Domino she was trying to protect.
I couldn’t breathe. I turned back to the stove and flipped the ground beef over. It was almost cooked through with just a few pink spots.
Josie put a light hand on my arm, turning me back to look at her. “He’s like a son to me. All those boys out there are. Hell, most of them didn’t have much of a real family until they found this one.”
“I get it,” I said, smiling. “I do. You’re looking out for him. I respect that.”
“I like you,” she said. “I like strong women and you’re one. And you’re still here, so that tells me something else. But this ... today ... I’d love to tell you it won’t always be like this. The truth is, it will. This is the life. And Domino is going to do everything he can to protect you. Even if it means pushing you away.”
“I know.”
I turned back to the skillet for a little while as Josie went back to stirring her pot. We kept a companionable silence for a few minutes while I tried to figure out what to say. I wanted to do something to steer the conversation away from the heaviness I now felt with her.
“Domino,” I said. “Did you know his real parents well?”
“What has he told you?”
“He told me his mother was married to another biker. Somebody from a rival club.”
Josie nodded. “Sure was. Not just any rival club. The rival club. Rip Lyons was a real son of a bitch. He tried to kill my Bear a couple of times. But that’s a story for another time. Anybody with half a brain could see Katy, Dom’s mother, was just stringing Diesel along.”
“Diesel Dormer. That’s Dom’s dad. He told me that.”
A secret smile brightened Josie’s face. “Diesel was one of my favorites. Don’t tell Bear. Katy damn near destroyed that man. Then when he found out Domino was his son and came back here? Brought him back from the brink of death. Did Dom tell you that? Diesel had lung cancer. They’d given him only a few months to live. But that boy showing up on his doorstep put the fight back into him. He lived four more years.”
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My heart ached thinking about what that had to have been like for Domino. To finally find out the truth about his paternity, only to lose his real dad such a short time later. And he’d only been a kid. Fifteen, I think he told me.
“Strange,” Josie said. “You two really do have more in common than people think.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Dom didn’t really have much of a childhood either. I think maybe he saw that in you right away. Kindred spirits and all that.”
The meat finished browning and I pulled it off the burner. “So was it you or Bear who gave him the nickname Domino? He told me Bear said it’s because of his ethnicity. Black and white with dots all over or something like that.”
Josie’s shoulders shook with laughter. Tears made her eyes sparkle as she smiled. “That’s what Dom thinks? Bear can be a real comedian.”
“What? Why? How did he get his nickname then?”
Josie arched a brow skyward. “Oh, honey. Can’t you figure it out? It wasn’t his fault, of course, but that boy’s very existence set in motion some shit we’re still dealing with today.”
She had me gobsmacked. Domino. Domino. His mother, Katy Lyons, was married to a member of the Devil’s Hawks while having an affair and a baby with Dom’s dad. A Dark Saint. Domino. Of course.
Before I could ask her any more, my phone rang in my back pocket, startling me. Josie put a light hand on my shoulder and gave me a wink as she left the kitchen. “You better take that. In case the little show at Cups made the national news, you’re going to want to tell your people you’re okay.”
My people. For a moment, I wasn’t even sure who they were.
“Hello?” I crossed my arm in front of me and sat down at the kitchen table.
“Quinn! Thank God you answered.” Noreen was breathless, her pattern of speech almost manic. I knew this side of her.