by Ron Foster
“How far do you think we have to go now?” I asked while thinking it was time for another break.
“Maybe 5 or 6 miles as the crow flies.” he replied.
“Let’s take a break under that billboard and rest for a bit.” I said heading off the road and into the weeds.
“We’re making better time than I thought today. What’s your watch say David?” Dump asked.
“I got 2.30. So maybe we’ll get there about 5.30 or 6.” I guessed.
“How far is your place from your cousins”? I said while retrieving a bottle of water from my pack and some cheese crackers.
“About 18 miles but it’s in the opposite direction from the way you want to go.” he replied while cracking open a can of Vienna sausages.
“You want to hang around my cousin’s a day or two?” he said between mouthfuls.
“I could use a day to rest up, my feet are pretty sore from these dress shoes” I said dreading the next 5 miles.
“I will hangout with you; I don’t have to be right back for any particular reason.”
“Good maybe we’ll see another beer truck on the way.” I joked.
“I imagine my Cousin’s got some if my relatives haven’t been visiting and drank it all up.” Dump said with a sigh as he retied his horseshoe pack.
“Well, let’s get ‘er done” he said resuming our march under the broiling sun.
11
HOMECOMING
“Come on and cut across this field Dave, might save us a mile or two” he said while looking for a good place to hop the barb wire.” This acreage borders the cross roads and runs almost up to my cousin’s property.” Dump said gingerly stepping over a low spot in the rusty barbed-wire fence.
“Looks like who ever own this sold off most of their cattle or changed pastures.” I remarked while picking my way across the field.
“Yea appears so, if he sold them, I bet he regrets it now.” Dump said avoiding another cow pie in his path.
“There’s a fish pond we can visit back in here tomorrow if you want, but I think probably we’d rather just lay around the house recovering.” he said navigating our way cross country.
“I like that second option better. Any hope of scrounging up a bicycle from one of your relatives, Dump?” I said wishfully thinking.
“Might be one in my cousin’s garage, I’ll remember to ask her later.” he added.
“We will get back on the road up here; her house is only a few hundred yards away.” Dump said gesturing towards a mail box up the road.
We were following the driveway towards a big wooden house with a wrap around porch, when we heard the screen door slam and a stout pudgy women appeared and hollered “Bill, so nice to see ya!” and sort of waddled down hurriedly towards us.
Dump speed up and met her half way and they hugged one another.
“Martha, how are you doing” Dump now called Bill said all smiles and holding her out to arms length.
“Fair to middlin’. Come on to the house.” she said as she herded us towards the porch.
“Phew! Bill what you been doing you smell awful”. She said turning her nose up.
“Been walking for a couple days”, he said plopping down in a chair.
“Why would you need to do that for Bill” she declared with concern.
“Martha this is David” and she and I exchanged pleasantries as I took up residence in another chair next to Dump.
“Told you she wouldn’t have noticed” said Dump in my direction.
“Noticed what?” she said crossly eying Dump anew.
“Martha we are in deep shit, the worlds been hit with a thing called EMP and the lights wont be coming on anytime too soon” he declared and proceeded to explain for the next hour just what that meant.
“Well I wondered what knocked the power out a few days ago and I was thinking about going over to your Uncle Jakes and see how they were getting on, but you say no cars will work?” Martha questioned while shuffling for her keys to go out and prove it to herself.
“This is like a bad Sci-Fi movie David” Martha said addressing me skeptically.
“Bill said you were some kind of FEMA folk, are they going to be coming to help out during this?” she demanded to know.
“I explained, not for a long time to come.” but left her with a little hope on a possible arrival someday.
“Well I know you boys is hungry, Bill get your friend something to drink out of that cooler and ill fix up some supper.” she said bustling about.
“I had me some frozen milk jugs in the freezer that I put in there and they are not quite melted yet so the drinks will still be cold” she added.
Dump handed me a coke and resumed his seat.
“I got lots of meat in the freezer that will need cooking; you boys want to have a cook out tomorrow?” She inquired
“Sounds good to me” I offered while Dump agreed also.
“ I got a bunch of old blankets wrapping up the freezer so I might get a few more days before I need to get it out there” she considered.
“Hey Martha, you got any bicycles in your garage?” Dump asked and I turned to see the response.
“I just got my old one from when I was young, tires probably flat but there’s a pump in there” she said pointing in the direction of a barn like building.
“Mind if we have a look” said Dump rising.
“Help yourself, but you won’t be able to ride it I don’t think Bill, maybe David could. David if you get it going, you mind delivering a message for me about a mile from here?” she said looking at me.
“Be glad too” I said willing to do most anything at this point to get use of a bike.
Bill and I walked over to the shed and opened the door. Assorted tools and junk was everywhere but leaned up against one side was an ugly old purple girls bike complete with banana seat, ape hanger handle bars with streamers, a bell and a white basket in front. The tires were only half flat and after locating the pump we filled them up and wheeled the bike out of the shed.
“Your chariot awaits.” Dump said with a flourish towards the frilly machine.
“Well there’s no doubt folks will see me coming on that thing.” I said mounting it and taking it for an experimental spin around the yard.
Dump was beside himself laughing at me and Martha poked her head out to see what was so funny and stifled a giggle.
“I sure was proud of that thing, back in the day. Hard to imagine me as a girly girl, isn’t it, Bill?” she said grinning at Dump.
He dodged the question and asked, “What’re we having for dinner?” To which Martha run off a list that would put any country restaurant to shame and said it would be about an hour till we ate.
“Martha, you still got your Daddy’s gun collection around here?” he snuck into the conversation.
“Most of it is still back there. I guess you will want to borrow something, Bill, times being what they are. There in the closet in the back bedroom go have a look.” she said ducking back in the kitchen.
The closet contained several cased rifles and shotguns and several boxes which could only include pistols and we had a field day snooping around.
“Hey, I got one of those” I said handling a small .380 Sig Sauer 230 stainless pistol. “They used to be the Cadillac of concealed carry in their day.” I said dreamily handling it and checking the mechanism to see if it was clear.
“Offer her a hundred bucks for it.“ Dump said.
“That’s a four of five hundred dollar gun, Dump” I objected.
“She don’t know values, and besides, where is she going to spend it. Just make the offer.” he said settling on a .45 caliber Astra and sticking it in his waistband.
“I get to borrow remember.” He smirked and we headed back towards the kitchen.
After a momentary pause contemplating my offer, she said “Sure David I will sell it to you. I got my shotgun and 38 if I need them and there are several other guns around here just collecting dust, so it’s a d
eal.” she said to my amazement and Dump’s cousin knowing nod.
“Well, thank you very much” I accepted and followed Dump back to the bedroom to get some ammo for it and search around for a holster if one could be found.
The holster I ended up with was a simple affair, just a loop of leather really that slid on your belt. But with my shirttail out the little weapon just disappeared.
“I feel so much better to have a pistol again, Dump.” I said.
“Hope you won’t have to use it buddy, but I am glad for you too. Makes me fell a lot better, since I won’t be there to have your back after tomorrow” he said looking towards the kitchen.
“Yea I am going to miss you my bouncer friend. Hey what kind of message does Martha need me to deliver? I asked
“Martha, David wants to know what kind of message you want him to deliver.
“I want him to stop by Ray’s trailer and tell him he ought grab his stuff and move in with me tomorrow. I got chickens, goats and a garden plot that needs tending. Tell him.” Martha said while setting various dishes on an already overcrowded table.
Dump waved me closer into a whispered conversation, “She’s had her eye set on him for years and now is her chance to reel him in.” he sniggered.
“Come on and eat!’ Martha called from the dining room and we all settled in on a feast.
“You’re cooking with propane.’ I said remembering the big silver tanks I had seen in the back.
“Yes, just topped off, last week. I guess I don’t have all bad luck after all.” she said reloading her plate.
These folks can eat! I was getting tired just watching the two of them go at it. I didn’t do too bad myself and had seconds of most everything.
“I will go by Ray’s tomorrow morning for you.” I said while resting up out on the front porch and looking forward to a softer bed tonight.
“That will be fine, David. He has his own bicycle, by the way, and maybe you can help bring back some things in your little basket.” she said picking at me about the garish bike and producing a laugh out of Dump.
“Stranger things have happened.” Was all I could come up with, and studied my glass of warmish sweet tea.
12
RAY`S PLACE
I got on my bike in the morning after receiving directions and cycled down the road to deliver the message. Dump had to be a smart ass and start humming the music from the Wizard of Oz witch riding the bicycle in the storm, as I pushed off.
“You will get yours, Dump.” I said as I peddled away.
Riding this bike sure was easier than walking and I was at the old single wide trailer before I knew it. I was getting off the bike and hollering “Ray!” RAY! When a balding older guy in overhauls stepped out of the trailer and looked down at me.
“And who might you be and what does Martha want now?” he asked smiling and reaching out his hand.
“I am David. I take it you recognize the bike?” I answered, laughing as I dismounted.
“That I do. Is she ok?” he asked looking at the spectacle before him.
“Oh, she’s fine, she wants you to move in with her and help her with the farm.” I said to his watchful twinkling eyes.
“I figured that, took her twenty years to get me in her clutches, but I guess she has got me now. She figured out we had us a EMP event did she?” He said leaning against his porch railing.
“No, me and Dump, err, Bill told her. She was surprised to say the least.”
“I didn’t figure it out until I noticed those cars stuck in the road up at the intersection. My car wouldn’t start and I was riding my bike up to get some help, when I saw them abandoned.” He replied
“I’m sure glad you knew what it was, I get tired of explaining it.” I said moving onto the porch with him.
“I heard on the news awhile back that NASA predicted such a thing was likely awhile back.” he said turning to open his door.
“Come on in. How’s that oversized cousin of hers?” he said, while gesturing for me to sit on the couch.
“Big as ever, we’ve been walking out of Atlanta together for the past two days.” I said looking around the trailer.
“Damn, that’s a far piece without a vehicle, especially in this heat. I bet Atlanta is looking like a war zone about right now.” he said lighting a cigarette and offering me one, which I gladly accepted.
“You want something to drink? I got hot beer and bottled water.” he offered.
“I will take the beer, thanks.” I said as Ray got up two fetch two cans.
He sat down and handed me mine and I said, “It looks like you are already packed.” I said pointing at a backpack and a small suitcase.
“I was going to head to Martha’s later on today and tell her the news, pretty much figured she would want me to stay.” he said and took a big swig from his beer.
“Nasty stuff, when it’s this warm.” he said grimacing.
“It grows on ya.” I replied taking a gulp out of mine.
“I wasn’t going to carry the beer with me this trip. You want to sit around and drink a few before we head out to Martha’s?” he asked.
“Sure, Martha is planning a cookout today in order to help use up some of the meat in her freezer. I guess it won’t hurt for us to start the party a bit early.” I commented.
“Where you from, Dave?’ he said rising to go get more beer.
“Montgomery.” I replied.
“Hell, that’s over 150 miles away, you aren’t heading there are you?” he said looking at me in astonishment.
“It will take me awhile to get home, for sure, but I am heading out tomorrow in that direction no matter what. Got kin of my own to see to.” I said with some determination.
“You better find you a lawnmower or a horse or something to go all that way,” he said pointedly.
“You know where I can find something?” I asked.
“No, but I will think on it some.” he said and we went back to our conversation on EMP and what Atlanta might look like by now.
“Ray you want to sell me that backpack when we get to Martha’s?” I asked. “That is, if you don’t think you will need it.” I added seriously.
“I will go you one, better. I got an old Boy Scout pack I will give you and you can use it to carry a couple of six packs back to Martha’s with it.” He offered with a grin.
“Sounds like a fair deal to me.” I agreed. “I got a basket, too, if you think of anything else to tote.” I said chuckling about the bike I was forced to ride.
“We shall see.” he said and cracked another can open and we settled in to share outlooks on how hard the times were about to be.
“I think winter’s going to be the hardest. I don’t relish the thought of trying to get what will be needed with just an axe and my own sweat.” Ray said looking towards a long cold future.
“I agree, we will lose a lot of the population come fall, as it is. Try to save on that propane she has, as much as you can, and you won’t have to chop so much wood.” I suggested eying the faded BSA symbol on the old canvas pack Ray had given me.
“Well, Martha is a sensible country girl, but she sure does love to cook. Just might be a bit difficult restraining her from using that oven overly much this summer. ” Ray mused.
“Now that outhouses have become fashionable again, she might not be so hard to convince.” I said looking out the trailer window.
“Oh, that house has a cistern and a septic tank, I will rig something so we can keep the indoor plumbing.” he declared.
“Well, you about ready to get going?” I asked, watching as Ray loaded two six-packs into what was soon to b e my bag.
“Just need to load up and lock up and we can go.” said Ray, rising to his feet.
“I figure chainsaws will most likely work, until the gas goes bad.” I interjected eying Ray’s boat parked off to the side. “You got any Stabil gasoline additive?” I inquired.
“Sure, do. Good idea.” He said heading towards his storage shed.
>
“Add it to my basket.” I offered with a smile.
13
THE GREAT SMOKE OUT
Ray and I peddled up to Martha’s drive way sweating out our previously consumed adult libations. We could see Dump laboring over the barbeque pit and it looked like he had a good fire going.
“Hi, Ray! “Dump hollered across the yard. “Long times no see!” he said enthusiastically in our direction, then looking towards the house expectantly.
The screen door slowly opened and out waltzed Martha in what might have been what they call a sun dress or a circus tent. I couldn’t tell which. She evidently had taken the time to put some war paint on, however, and demurely called out a ”Hi Ray. Nice of you to drop by.” and “Thanks, Dave, now Ray and I need to talk.” and locked elbows with him guiding him towards the house, leaving a flabbergasted Dump Truck and Dave in her wake to tend to other business.
“Oh, God he is in for it now.” Dump said happily, directing me towards the grill.
“Did they used to be an item, Dump?” I asked inspecting his roaring blaze that would be reduced to good hardwood coals eventually.
“They grew up together and until she added a hundred pounds or so, used to occasionally date.” he said poking at the fire with a hoe.
“She has always had a thing for him though, and been trying to doll up since you left hours ago. What have you been doing anyway, I was starting to get worried?” he asked adjusting his new found pistol.
“Well, it’s Rays beer, but seeing how he is indisposed, I guess is ok to offer you one.” delving into my pack.
“She got out a half gallon of Jack from somewhere she has been saving for just this sort of occasion.“ Dump said, smirking about his cousin and her intended Beau as usual. “I don’t think he will mind if we drink up his beer.” he said raking the coals down more to his liking.
“That’s a damn huge fire Dump, you been taking lessons from Stewart?” I asked, opening up a beer of my own.