by Ron Foster
“Let’s wander over to the end of the center; I want to see what it looks like on that road.” I said to jack and heading in that direction. There were only a few scattered fast food restaurants, a bank, a muffler shop and…what was that I see and peering closer in the distance.
“Hey Jack, come here and see what Santa Claus left us.” I said in a sneaky tone and pointing up the street.
“What are you looking at?” he said looking in the general direction, but not seeing what it was that had sparked my interest.
“Look on the side of that Muffler shop.” I prompted.
“You mean that trailer with the two ATVs? Will they run you think?” He whispered and getting inspired.
“I think so, probably have to push start them. Should be any simple engine should also work (Like ATV’s, riding lawnmowers, gas powered golf carts, etc.)” I said with interest in the prizes I had spotted.
“Do we come back and get them tonight?” Jack asked already contemplating a plan.
“No, I think we try to snatch them while everybody is concentrating on the government handouts and ride them back home the back way.” I said getting devious and grinning at Jack knowingly to his return of a devilish grin.
“One of us needs to wander over there and have a look around without paying too much attention to what it is we think has value. Just in case, we get observed.” I said while scanning the street and the parking lot folks that were halfway paying attention to our wandering around, but far enough away not to hear our conversation.
“Go ahead; I will wait on you here.” Jack replied.
“Ok, but look for Sherry and crew, they ought to be coming up here pretty soon and I need to give them that two way radio I brought.” I told him, while looking in the direction I expected them to arrive.
Jack replied, “Will do.” and I sort of meandered my way down the street towards what I hoped was rolling gold.
Dang, who the hell would break into a Long John Silvers Seafood fast food shop I thought, while walking by it? They had to been just looking for money, no other reason to get in one that I could think of. Got to be money, the Bingo arcade on the other side of the street was obviously broken into, too. Shit, I forgot about that Diplomat motel up on the bypass about a ¼ mile away. Anyone still staying in there is going to be showing up desperate and irrational today. Ok anyone around here I considered, while scanning left and right and seeing Jack observing me at a distance and looking around the lot at the new arrivals keeping a watch for Sherry and crew.
I casually wandered over to the closed bays on the shop and peered in. There was a truck on one lift and a car on another. That truck must have been hauling that trailer, maybe, I proposed. Let’s have a look at the trailer. Damn gates padlocked no keys in them. This little field trip is going to be noisy and obvious I got to thinking.
Ah ha! Somebody has already broken in the side door of the business. I cautiously pulled the door back and looked inside. Well there were plenty of tools around to get the padlock off and screw drivers and such to get access to the ignition wires.
Wait a minute, I bet if this truck went with that trailer, the keys to those things will be up in the cab. How the hell do I get into it, with it up in the air on the lift like that? I thought and began looking around the room once more.
‘I see said the blind man to…’ echoed in my mind, as my gaze fixed on the roll around tool rack. A bit of pushing and shoving, pulling out a few drawers and I climbed my little stairway to heaven, up to the door handle and climbed into the cab. A quick search of the glove box produced two sets of keys. Bingo!
I was all full of myself and my ingenuity, as I proceeded to climb down back on to the drawer of the tool chest, when I damn near turned it over.
Careful David! There is no hospital for fools or thieves anymore, I thought while easing back off of it. Well, it ain’t theft if its not being used, and it won’t be the last thing I need to abscond with to survive these days, so quit thinking in that vein. I admonished myself. I eased back out the door and headed back towards Jack.
As I neared Jack, he asked ‘Any Luck?’ by raising one eyebrow.
“Oh, yeah.” I responded grinning like a goat eating briars and jingling the keys before pocketing them.
“Sweet! Is that Sherry and friends coming this way?” he said turning to look at three girls trudging along and one pushing a little green plastic garden wheelbarrow?
“Yeah, that’s them.” I said moving to meet them halfway and noticing two of them had on mostly empty packs.
“Hey, David. Surprised to see you, Jack!” Sherry said as she walked up to me and embraced me.
“Damn, there are a lot of people here early.” her sister Sandra said surveying the swelling mob of people milling around.
“Well, if they are this early and this many, then real need is starting to show its ugly face.” I surmised.
Betsy had immediately unslung her pack and groused at Sherry by saying “We would have been here a lot earlier if you hadn’t spent half the morning adding unnecessary shit to these packs just to come up here.” giving her a snotty look.
Jack interjected before squabbling erupted, “It’s a prepper thing. She probably has been listening to David, who I had the same argument with this morning.” Looking unsympathetically in my direction and turning the two girl’s wrath on me.
“Hey, what if your damn house got broke into or burned down, while you were up here? Don’t give me any shit about being prepared for contingencies or we wouldn’t have jackshit for the moment.” I said quite put out at the ingrates but went on to lighten the mood. “Hey, that’s a pretty good one, Jackshit, you might have invented that one, Jack, or does it just apply to you, you damned old garden tractor driving manatee delivery man.” I said putting a burr under his saddle, but got him and the trio to grinning anyway.
“What’s this about manatees?” Betsy said, while making sure to gain some distance from the pack she had put in Sherry’s wheelbarrow, a move she hoped wouldn’t be noticed for awhile.
“He is being a Smartass again. We will tell you the story later. Let’s go get out of the sun under the walkway awning and do some plotting and scheming.” Jack said taking a hold of the wheelbarrow handle and dragging it along with Betsy’s pack and leaving Sandra to wish she had done the same trick Betsy did.
“The line will form up in the middle of the parking lot where the biggest concentrations of people are, unless the driver doesn’t like their looks when he pulls in. Security will come in first in a couple jeeps and pick the front and back of the line first.” I said before Jack spoke.
“You showing your age, David, they got Hummers these days.” he said laughing.
“You’re right, I wasn’t thinking, just getting in the zone of things. Anyway, the truck holds off or comes later. Lead security comes with ranking guy who chooses where and when. Second vehicle comes two hundred paces beyond the first, parks and decides where back of the line will eventually be, and start herding folks into some kind of semi orderly line. That’s a short distribution line. There are usually two guards in front, two in the rear, and one man from front and back roves up and down the line, trying to keep peace. When they hear or see the truck coming, it’s three guards up front to contain the rush and the driver’s assistant drops the tail gate while the driver stays in the truck ready to speed off, if necessary, until folks are calm enough to receive goods or services. A command vehicle with two officers or NCOs will swing by with one extra guard and check the rear of the line and wave for the party to start and call out on the radio, if it’s working, for any other needed supplies or security, then take off or stand by.” I said trying to evaluate how to apply SOP (Standard Operating Procedures) to this throng of people that was building up.
“You and Jack going to try to work the trucks and volunteer to hand out boxes, David?” Sherry asked contemplating that it would still be a zoo until some kind of order could be established.
“No, we were, bu
t I got to go on a mission and most likely will not even be here when it happens.” I said to everyone’s dismay. I proceeded to tell them my plan for Jack and I to use the food drop as a diversion to cover our confiscating some of the ATV`s, but my party of three ladies started raising too many objections.
“Look, plans and awareness change, deal with it! I can almost guarantee they are going to declare martial law and hand out pre printed flyers saying CURFEW and although, I do not think they can actually enforce it, I am not going to try my luck and hang around for a case of meals, when I am working on a survival, evasion and escape plan.” I adamantly told them with a lot of anger in my voice from being exasperated by them not seeing the wisdom in my words.
“I can not leave Jack to make you feel good, because I need him to help start those vehicles. One of us has got to push, while the driver pops the clutch to start it; and I don’t even know how to drive one.” I objected forcefully and in a tone of voice that said I was not going to entertain any discussion to the matter.
“The mood of this crowd is already not too great.” Jack said trying to rein me and my intentions in, while hinting for me to reconsider leaving the girls out of my plan.
“It is still early yet in the crisis, Jack. Guns in the open will do the job of making folks act right for today, I think; to make them behave without worries. We need those vehicles, when they don’t think about it in the here and now like we do.” I said imploringly to him and having a hope he would take my same hardliner attitude into immediate action.
“Get your food, but you should leave back for home at the first sign of trouble.” Jack said to the subdued group of women worriedly weighing the advice, “Call us on the radio if you have to.” he said as a final advisory and intending to comfort, that we could play Calvary if we had to.
“We got time yet; hell, in the military it is always ‘hurry up and wait’; they might be an hour or more late, so let’s just relax a moment.” I offered adding my two cents.
“When do we leave? Is the plan to be ‘bugging’ soon?” Sherry said speaking for her dejected charges and looking at me and Jack for plan B.
“Soon, Baby, Very soon.” I managed to muster and, it wasn’t what anyone around me wanted to hear today.
“Hey, that’s my neighbor Rufus over there.” I said motioning to a large man and his wife, while waving to the couple.
“Come on, lets get you all acquainted.” I said, not giving anyone a chance to wonder about the necessity of doing it now before the conversation was finished, and stepping off in their direction. We did introductions all around and the girls were happily doing what girls do best and adopting another female into their group as I took Rufus off to the side.
“We got some things to do my friend. Can you sort of look after the ladies while we are gone?” I asked the former bricklayer and all round best neighbor I ever had.
“Sure, Sure, but what are you up to? I sort of was glad to have some friendly known faces to support me.” He said surveying everyone forming their own little groups of support or war.
“You carry any protection today?” I said in a low voice.
“Damned Woman over there was worried and made me leave my .38 at home.” He groused, while indicating his spouse thoroughly engaged with the Hen Party I’d just attached him to.
“I got a Gerber knife or my Kel tec .380 you can borrow.” I said feeling a bit queasy to give up either one before the mission I was about to undertake, but had not revealed to him yet.
Jack looked at me like I was out of my mind to be giving up a pistol and also wondering why I didn’t have two, which was my usual ilk, but remained silent.
“I want the gun, but I wouldn’t know how to fire it, never seen one of that kind before. Shake my hand and palm me the knife. Is there something going on I need to know about?” he said looking around at the motley crew of strangers we had to share space with, while casually taking the knife from me and slipping it in his pocket.
“Nothing special, anytime you have a mob you just need to be extra careful”. I replied.
“Check in with me on the radio, when you get back home Sherry.” I said, looking at Jack who was still conversing with the girls.
“I guess we wait over here for the truck to arrive and then go take care of our business, Jack. Rufus I suggest you and Sherry go mill around with that group over there, it looks like the likely beginning of the line.” I said motioning towards a group that probably been in one of these type lines for ice after a hurricane or something in the past, because everyone else was staying back in the shade to wait.
“I will see you all later then.” and Rufus and crew headed towards the bunch of people I had designated.
“I hope those things got gas in them; I didn’t bother to check, because I did not want to draw any further attention.” I confided to Jack.
“See any gas cans?” he asked as I tried to recall.
“Unless they are in back of the truck that’s up on the lift; I don’t remember seeing any off hand. I said, while speculating which way the military trucks would probably be coming in.
“We will figure it out, should be something usable over there; if not, some tubing to siphon some gas, if need be.” Jack replied.
I looked down the street and saw two 5 ton trucks and two Hummers headed in our direction and turned to Jack saying, “Show time”.
We walked back over to the muffler shop and he jumped on the trailer to check the gas and start unlashing the first ATV, while I unlocked the ramp and lowered it.
“About half a tank each.” Jack observed.
“Let’s just get them out then; I am not going to monkey around on that lift again just for can of gas.” I replied, I while unlashing the other ATV.
We got the vehicles rolled down the ramp and unloaded and I told Jack the direction we should head, if we got them running.
“Ok I will try to push you off first and then you can help me. Don’t go zooming off anywhere, because I don’t know how to drive one of these yet, and might stall it changing gears or something.” I advised and got in position to start trying to push him off.
After a few splutters and false starts the engines on both fired and we were on our way. I figured they were awful damn noisy and Jack was laughing at my first attempts to drive one; but other than that, I was grinning all the way home on my new runabout and into the backyard to stash the lucky finds.
Lois and my Mom came out the side door and looked at us in amazement.
“Well, no food today, but ATVs were on sale.” Jack said hugging his speechless wife.
“How did you get those?’ my Mom asked making me wince.
“We borrowed them from a friend.” I said trying to dodge the question.
“Which friend?” She asked looking skeptical.
“The guy who owns the ATVs. Come on, Jack, we got to get something to secure these with.” I said fumbling with the keys to the shop and letting my Mom decide for herself that she didn’t really want a straight answer this time.
We got the vehicles squared away and went into the house to get everyone started on lunch. No one really felt like cooking, as hot as it was; so we choose the self-contained, simple heater meals, so as not to heat up the kitchen or the house.
Rufus knocked on the door about an hour later and told us Sherry and friends got off Ok. The ration for the day was one case of MRE per person present. Rufus said they were towards the front of the line and got theirs quick and had nothing really extra to report. I asked if he’d noticed what the patches on the uniforms looked like, but he hadn’t really paid attention.
Sherry called in on the radio not long after Rufus had left, and basically said she was glad she had brought her little wheelbarrow and that boxes of MRE were heavy.
Reception was crackly on the radio, but we managed to have an easy enough conversation. I had no way of knowing if Mr. Sun was still up to his hijinks or if the buildings were in the way. So, to be on the safe side, I told Sherry to pul
l the batteries and stick the radio in ammo can or file cabinet, until tomorrow at 1 oclock, when we would do another commo check.
“Hey, Jack? Buddy you up for walk? I got a little something for us to go check on. Before I left for Atlanta, I saw that a guy had a moped out in front of his house for sale and I want to see if he still has it.” I told him while counting what cash was around the house.
“What did he want for it?” Jack asked
“You mean what did he want for it, when it worked?” I chuckled devising my plan.
“You don’t think he will catch on?” Jack asked suspiciously.
“I am going to tell him I want it for a bicycle, you can pedal those things too, you know.” I said grinning.
“Boy is he going to have the ass, if he sees you putt putting around on it.” Jack laughed.
“Come on lets go see about it, it’s about 10 blocks from here.” I said rising.
On the way over, Jack and I spied people struggling to carry boxes of MRE home in the hot Alabama sun.
“Prices of wheelbarrows just hit an all time high.” I told Jack.
“Let’s hope mopeds haven’t yet,” he quipped.
“Here’s, the place.” I said walking up a driveway.
I knocked on the door and heard a shouted “who is it?”
“I came about the Moped.” I replied and suddenly the living room curtain was pulled back and a face appeared. A rather odd looking man, who I thought favored the Hobbit Bilbo Baggins, scrutinized me for a moment before asking “What you want that broke down old thing for?” like I was out of my mind or messing with him.
“I can’t find a bicycle and figured you might sell it to me.” I said with a deadpan face, as Jack pretended to be as skeptical as the little hobgoblin looking at me through the window.
“Well, I might sell it, its kind of hard to pedal as is. What will you give me for it?” He replied thinking he could possibly see it by looking sideways out the window and then giving up.
“I don’t know. What’s a scooter without an engine worth these days?” I said to the face that moments earlier looked quite hilarious mushed up against the window.