The only thing that feels unnatural is the book in my hands I’m covering my package with. It even feels a little, I dunno, rude to be using a book like this? The people I know who are into reading treat books almost like religious objects and surely having one so close to my naked crotch is some kind of blasphemy?
But Christian is one of those people, and when I look down to gauge his expression, he doesn’t look any more troubled than he usually does at these things.
Tasse goes down to fetch him, and I give him a thumbs-up as he passes by. His perch is half a level up and not far from mine, which is cool because I’ll be able to make faces at him while we do this. He doesn’t strip off automatically like the rest of us, but waits until Tasse actually asks him to get out of his robe, and then there he is.
One of Tasse’s assistants must’ve cranked the lights, because while I’ve been warm under the bright bulbs and in the humidity of Boston in July, I feel like I’m getting flushed, and my skin prickles. Christian is…well, he’s standing there. He’s not doing anything special, aside from looking awkward because I get the feeling being naked for a photoshoot isn’t his fondest desire.
He’s trying to be cool, but the way he fidgets with his hands and arms gives away that he’s faking; it’s an act.
It’s not as though he has anything to be self-conscious about. He’s one of those thin guys who actually can pull off skinny jeans. I’m glad they aren’t an essential for dudes anymore because they were not meant for guys like me. Made me feel like I was gonna bend over and my butt was going to full-on Hulk right out of them. Christian’s not scrawny, though. He’s got those ropey muscles and a lack of fat that makes him look incredibly…efficient. There’s nothing to spare on him, just the bare minimum of materials to make a person who’s strong and sleek and kind of…
Why am I staring at my butt-naked bandmate? And why does my throat feel kinda dry and tight, like my voice would come out in a choked rasp if I tried to talk? And holy shit, why, god, why, am I starting to get a hard-on? That’s not okay for a whole heap of reasons, beyond which, what the actual fuck?
But I can’t take my eyes off him. He’s pale, like could-play-a-vampire-in-a-movie-without-makeup pale, so white he’s practically translucent, and it makes his muscles and veins more obvious than they would be if he weren’t quite so pasty. Which I’ve always appreciated from a purely aesthetic standpoint, and I bet his tattoo artists have, too. A whole blank canvas. More like the stretched-tight skins of old. Makes me want to take permanent markers to his skin and tell stories on it, but out of the five of us, he’s the artist. I wonder if he’d let me—
A vision of Christian lying sprawled naked on his stomach on my giant bed comes to mind. He’s letting me trace the sinews of his muscles with a black fine-tip pen and cover his veins in blue. He turns his head to look over his shoulder at me and smiles, thin lips stretching wide without showing his teeth, but he doesn’t need to because I can tell from the wash of pink high on his cheekbones that he’s happy, and that… Oh. Oh, my god. Vision!Teague straddles him at the tops of his thighs, and because imaginary me is also naked, I run my throbbing dick between his ass cheeks and—
What the shit is even happening to me? There’s nothing semi about my hard-on now, and I am ridiculously grateful that I have this big-ass book to hide it behind.
It’s not that I never get stiffies. I do. I totally do. And if my partners’ reactions can be trusted, I’m not terrible at having sex. At all. Even though it’s more like a thing I do because I’m supposed to instead of a thing I do because I enjoy it.
I know I’m supposed to feel like a lucky guy because I have my pick of people to sleep with. And I do, I guess? But as a measure of success. Not so much because of how it actually makes me feel when I’m with them. I’ve learned how I’m supposed to react when a hot chick peels off her top or when a sexy guy drops trou. I’m supposed to feel like it’s Tuesday, and I’ve been waiting all goddamn week for that rack of fish tacos that’s sitting in front of me. But honestly? If faced with a choice between tacos and sex, up until almost this very instant, I would’ve rather had the tacos.
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Acknowledgments
I should start off by saying that yes, Christa Desir was right. Those extra twelve thousand words really did make this book better. But then again, Christa is almost always right. That’s why she’s been my editor for 90 percent of my self-published books.
And my wonderful copy editor, Rebecca Coffindaffer, is also almost always right. I do appreciate her light touch with Nick since he has a distinctive voice, even if he sometimes made her grammar-nerd heart wither.
Thank you to AA and SF for being early readers of this book. Their notes of “OMG, Nick is my husband. I am married to this man,” gave me confidence that Nick’s ADHD is a realistic portrayal of some people with ADHD. And gratitude to Mira Stanley for the word “ho-bro”—I don’t think Jake would object at all.
Thank you to all of the readers and reviewers who have spent their time and resources on this book; I appreciate it more than I can ever say. To be honest, when I decided to write this spin-off series, I really wasn’t sure how I was going to make Nick a hero. And yet, he grew into one of my favorite heroes and I was delighted to be able to give him a heroine who fit him so well.
About the Author
Tamsen Parker is a USA Today bestselling romance writer, with books in the erotic romance, hot contemporary, sports, and now sweet subgenres, and writes about f/f, m/f, and m/m couples falling for each other. The Lesbian Review named both IF I LOVED YOU LESS and FIRE ON THE ICE to their Top 15 Books of 2018, and IN HER COURT as one of the Top 10 Audiobooks of 2018. Her novella CRAVING FLIGHT was named to the Best of 2015 lists of Heroes and Heartbreakers, Smexy Books, Romance Novel News, and Dear Author. Heroes and Heartbreakers called her Compass series “bewitching, humorous, erotically intense and emotional.”
She lives with her family outside of Boston, where she tweets too much, sleeps too little and is always in the middle of a book. Aside from good food, sweet rieslings and gin cocktails, she collects miles of wash tape and acres of stickers, and has a fondness for monograms and subway maps. She should really start drinking coffee.
Also by Tamsen Parker
The After Hours Series
Alpha in the Sheets
Bound in the Streets
Reclaiming His Wife
For His Eyes Only
A Heart to Keep
Insidious
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The Snow and Ice Games Series
Love on the Tracks
Seduction on the Slopes
On the Edge of Scandal
Fire on the Ice
On the Brink of Passion
* * *
The License to Love Series
Thrown Off Track
The Inside Track
Hot on Her Tracks (Release Date TBD)
* * *
Camp Firefly Falls
In Her Court
Love, All
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Standalone Novels
School Ties
His Custody
If I Loved You Less
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Short Stories and Novellas
Needs
(Originally published in the Winter Rain anthology)
Looking for a Complication
(Originally published in the For the First Time anthology)
Dedication of a Lifetime
(Or
iginally published in the Rogue Affair anthology)
Craving Flight
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Anthologies
Rogue Desire
Rogue Affair
Rogue Hearts
Best Women’s Erotica of the Year Volume Four
Rogue Ever After (May 2019)
The Inside Track: A License to Love Novel Page 24