I chewed on my lip and glanced over to the house. Tucker was talking to an older woman and a younger woman, maybe Lily’s age. They both hugged him, and I couldn’t help but notice how the younger woman held Tucker a little longer than necessary.
My eyes burned a hole into her, and I was pretty sure if looks could kill, she’d be on the ground.
“That’s Noelle Douglas. She’s one of Lily’s work friends. Her mother and their parents are pretty tight from what Lily has told me. I’ve gone out with them both a couple times for girls’ night out.”
My brows lifted. “Why didn’t I go?”
Terri chuckled next to me. “Seriously? Because every time we asked you out, you were too busy working. Once Noelle and Tucker started dating, we stopped asking you on the nights we went out with her. Lily thought it might upset you to hear her talking about Tucker.”
Folding my arms over my chest, I watched the exchange. Jealousy slowly built while I attempted to push it away. I did a piss-poor job of it.
“They dated?”
I could feel Terri’s eyes on Tucker and Noelle. “Yep.”
The sick feeling in my stomach had me dropping my arms. Tucker looked down at Noelle and smiled. It was the first smile I’d seen on his face since his father’s death.
Noelle’s hand went to Tucker’s arm and stayed there while they talked. “How long did they date?” I asked, swallowing the bile that was now sitting at the base of my throat. I may be pissed at Tucker, but he was still mine.
Wasn’t he?
“I’m not sure. Lily knows, you can ask her.”
“No, thanks,” I said, turning and walking more out into the yard and away from the sight in front of me.
Note to self: Take the name Noelle off my short list of baby names. Damn it, I really liked that name too.
Terri must have sensed my need to be alone for a few minutes because she didn’t follow me. I made my way down into the vast garden and started walking on the trails. A few turns left and right and I was soon lost. I needed it, though. My head was clearing, and I knew Terri was right. How could Tucker and I come back from this? I needed to find out, but not right now. Now he needed to deal with his father’s death.
“Shit,” I hissed. How in the hell did I not notice how big this garden was? I could barely hear the sounds of voices. Closing my eyes, I tried to listen to the direction they were coming. Once I got what I thought was my bearings, I headed back down a familiar path that I knew I had walked on not only a few minutes ago.
Emerging from the garden and back into the large backyard, I saw my group of friends. Only this time, Tucker sat there between Nash and Blake. No, wait, Blake was standing and Noelle was sitting next to Tucker. As I got closer, I tensed when I saw her hand on his leg. Tucker sat back in the chair, a beer in his hand and a far-off look on his face. Did he even know she was attempting to feel him up at his own father’s wake?
Lily saw me walking up and smiled. “Hey, there you are,” she said softly, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I tried not to look over to Tucker. “Where did you go?”
“For a walk.”
Lily smiled a bit more. “I wish I had known; I’d have gone with you. I could use a few minutes away.”
My heart pulled with hurt, and I wanted to draw my friend into my arms and tell her the pain gets better. Not a whole lot better, but each day it eased some.
Right then, I could feel his eyes on me, so I refused to look his way. The sound of Noelle’s voice filled my head and right then I decided I didn’t like her voice. It was high pitched and grated my nerves.
Then I heard Tucker chuckle. Knowing this woman had made him smile and laugh did something to me. I was the stupid one who had walked away from him the other night. I’d told him I hated him, and at the time, I had. I was hurt, but deep down I knew I was just as much to blame for this mess.
Stealing a peek in their direction, she was resting her hand on Tucker’s shoulder, whispering something into his ear. Tucker’s eyes looked my way, and a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth.
Asshole.
I guess he enjoyed his ex hanging all over him. Fine. Let him move on. I didn’t have to stand there and watch it.
When I turned back to Lily, she was staring off, but not in the direction of her brother—at Nash.
“I’m sorry Lily, I’m going to have to run.”
My best friend’s face fell. “You do?”
I nodded and before I could stop myself, I looked at Tucker again. He stared at me, a beer in his hand and Noelle at his side. She was saying something to him, but it didn’t look like he was paying any attention. Then he dropped his gaze in her direction. When her hand lifted and pushed a piece of his dark hair from his eyes, I knew I needed to leave. Tucker looked emotionless though, and that was the only thing keeping me from losing my shit.
“If you need anything,” I started to say to Lily while reaching for my purse, “you let me know. Okay?”
Her eyes darted from me to Tucker, then to Noelle, and back to me again.
“Charlie, it’s not what it looks like,” she whispered.
I played like I had no idea what she was talking about. “What? I’m just feeling a little sentimental about my folks.”
Which was half the truth.
“And I’ve got a fire burning at work I need to take care of.”
Lily’s face screwed up in a look of disappointment. “Of course you do.”
My eyes widened. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She sighed. “It means it’s always about work with you.” Her voice raised, causing our small group to all turn their attention on both of us.
“What?” I asked, surprised and a little hurt by her sudden outburst.
“It’s always about that damn job of yours. You’ve walked away from everything and ruined things with you and Tucker because of that stupid job of yours. Well, I hope it’s worth it when you’re all alone in life with no one there to love you. Oh, wait. CMI will be there for you.”
I took a step back, my hand coming up to my throat. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. I knew the signs of grief, and Lily was in the pissedoff-at-the-world stage. It still hurt that she lashed out at me.
Nash stood and walked up to Lily. “Lil, now is not the time to bring this up.”
Snapping my head over to him, I gave him an incredulous look. Was this something Lily had felt for a long time? Did she honestly think I put my job before her? Before our friendship?
Lily let out a defeated sigh and looked from Nash to Tucker, and finally back to me. “Just go, Charlie. It’s better for you to not be here anyway.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, then turned to look at Tucker. I didn’t know why I thought he would stop his sister from spewing out hurtful words. All he did was lift his beer and finish it off while he ignored me.
“Lily!” Terri said, standing at my side. “It’s okay,” I forced out. My voice sounded weak, and I hated that. Taking in a deep breath to settle myself, I spoke in a steady voice while trying to remain compassionate. “I’ll go so I don’t upset Lily. Call me if you need anything, okay?”
For some reason, my response pissed off my best friend. She shook her head slowly and scoffed. She then quietly said, “Always the cool and calm one, aren’t you? You’re not in a goddamn boardroom, Charlie! For once in your life, can you show emotion? Tell Tucker how you’re feeling!”
My eyes darted toward him. He didn’t move; he just sat there. Now Noelle looked at me with a smug expression.
Lily wasn’t finished with me though. She got in one more jab and went for the kill. “You didn’t even cry at your own parents’ funeral, Charlie. That says a lot about what’s important to you in your life.”
Terri stepped up to Lily. “That’s enough,” she said sharply.
Anger pulsed through my veins. She was angry and filled with grief, but that didn’t give her the right to take it out on me or mention my parents. My eyes burned, and I was too emotionally exh
austed to fight it anymore.
A single tear slipped from my eye and trailed down my cheek. Blake stood and walked over to me.
“Charlie,” he whispered. The tenderness in his voice moved me, but again it made Lily angry.
She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by a deep voice.
“Knock it off, Lily,” Tucker finally said. When I turned to him, his eyes grew watery and he stood. He took a step toward me, and for a moment I thought he was going to walk up to me. Instead he stopped when Blake cupped my face in his hands.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded and took a step back, breaking his contact.
Swallowing hard, I pulled my eyes from him and landed my gaze onto Lily, who now wore a look of regret on her face.
Clearing my throat the best I could, I spoke softly. “I’m glad to know how you feel, Lily.”
Her eyes closed. “Charlie, I didn’t mean any of that. Don’t leave.”
I didn’t give her a chance to finish. I stepped around her, wiped my face clear of any tears, and walked over to their mother as I forced my voice to stay steady.
“Mrs. Middleton, I’m so sorry for your loss. If there’s anything you need, or if you’d like to talk, I’m here.”
Patty smiled at me and then pulled me in for a hug. She didn’t say anything, but when she pushed me at arm’s length to look at me, she opened her mouth to speak. She then closed her eyes for a few moments before looking back at me.
“Charleston, thank you sweetie. I know how hard this has also been for you.”
Forcing a small grin, I remained quiet. If I spoke, I knew I would break down into tears. I needed to get out of here.
Patty’s eyes moved to the group outside and she frowned. “Please don’t be angry with him. He cares very much about you and you’ve both lost … you’ve lost… .”
Before she could finish, she covered her mouth, turned on her heels and walked off.
I can’t deal with this shit.
When I reached my car, I jumped in and dropped my head down onto the steering wheel. Everything was spiraling out of my control, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Well, not everything. My father’s company was still very much in my control.
Too bad that didn’t make me even one ounce happy.
THREE WEEKS HAD passed since the funeral. Lily had called me three times. Each time, I sent it to voicemail and buried myself in work. I’d worked every Saturday and Sunday. When I wasn’t at work, I was home with Mr. Pootie. He was the only man in my life now, and I planned on keeping it that way. Especially after I’d gone out for a run and had seen Tucker and Noelle walking out of a restaurant just a block from my place. She’d reached up and kissed him on the cheek. I’d nearly stumbled over a poor man who had stopped to tie his shoe. I jumped him like a damn hurdle and screamed in the process. Of course that made Tucker and Noelle look my way. The guy jumped up and asked me if I was okay. We both chuckled about my impressive jump, but I felt Tucker’s stare. Felt it in the very core of my being. When my eyes met his, I said my goodbyes to the stranger and practically sprinted home, ignoring Tucker, who called out for me. A small part of me hoped by seeing him that day, he’d text me. But he didn’t, and neither had I. My pride wouldn’t allow it.
My phone buzzed with an incoming text on my desk, and I flipped it over to see it was Nash.
Nash: Feel like grabbing a beer tonight? We’ll all be at Sedotto tonight.
I flipped it over and went back to work. An hour passed when it buzzed again.
Nash: Charlie, please. Lily’s depressed as fuck, Tucker has been drinking nearly non-stop since y’all broke up, and I’m pretty sure Terri’s planning on killing Blake soon. We need you!
A small chuckle slipped from between my lips at the mention of Terri wanting to kill Blake. My heart hurt for Lily, and I was back to being angry at Tucker. He had Noelle now to comfort his ass. Nash expected me to show up and be the salve to their wounds. Yeah, I was made of strong stuff but not strong enough to put myself in their crosshairs again.
Me: Let Terri kill Blake. I’m sorry about Lily, but she made her feelings pretty clear at the wake. And call AA for Tucker’s problems. Nothing I can do to fix what’s broken.
His reply was almost instant.
Nash: So that’s it? You’re walking away from all of us? She was angry and hurt and confused, Charlie. You know that; you’ve been there. And what about Tucker? Did you ever even care about him, or was it really all a game?
My body shook with anger.
Me: It was never a game. The only man I could ever see myself with was Tucker. I’m at work, Nash. I can’t talk. But then, that shouldn’t surprise y’all, right?
Nash: No, I guess not.
I stared at his last text, my teeth digging into my lip so hard I tasted blood. His next text made me jump.
Nash: Just so you know, Tucker is really fucked up. I know something happened with his dad, but the other night when he was wasted, he kept saying how he hurt you. He can’t move on and he needs to. He can’t apologize to his father, so for fuck’s sake, can you at least let him apologize to you so he can get his shit together and move on if you don’t intend on being a part of his life?
The fact that he was trying to guilt me only made my decision to not go tonight the right one. They all thought I worked too much and my job owned me. Well screw them … Every last one of them.
Nash: I’ll take your silence as a no. That’s fucked up, Charlie. I really thought you cared about him.
“Fuck you, Nash.”
Pulling out my drawer, I threw my phone into it and slammed it. The rest of the day I was useless. I couldn’t stop thinking about Nash’s text messages. I worked until seven and then changed and headed to the gym. After an hour of working out, I made my way home. Mr. Pootie was pissed off and ignoring me as I walked through my living room and into the kitchen.
“If you keep acting like a dick, I won’t feed you.”
The damn cat actually sat with his back to me. When I pulled back the lid on his moist food, he simply glanced back at me and gave me a disgusted meow.
“Are all the men in my life going to be like this?” I mumbled as I dropped the food into Mr. Pootie’s bowl.
After a hot shower, I settled on the sofa and stared out at the night lights of Austin for what seemed like forever. A part of me wished I was staring up at a night sky filled with stars like when I went camping with my father. He loved being in the woods, and whenever he got the chance to get away from work, he always took me and my mom somewhere fun. It was camping, the beach, or a trip to one of the national parks. However, once he became CEO of CMI, everything changed. We went on less and less trips, and I had gotten to the age where I did more things with my friends’ families than I did with my own.
The heaviness in my chest felt like a brick. Heading out to the balcony, I sat down on the chair, my knees pulled up and tucked under my chin as I let out a long sigh.
“I really hate the city,” I whispered to myself. There were a lot of things I really hated. These last few weeks alone had made me open my eyes to all the things I had been using as fillers to make myself think I was living the life I wanted. It was the opposite. Nothing about my life was what I wanted. It was what my father wanted.
My cell phone started ringing, and I jumped up. I knew it was late, at least after ten. If it was work, I was going to beat someone’s ass.
The name stared up at me.
Lily.
Turning away, I walked into the kitchen. I was being childish and pouting because my best friend spoke the truth.
Mr. Pootie went in between my legs, letting out a loud cry for either attention or a snack.
“Do you think I’m being a baby?” I asked, picking him up and snuggling him against my chest.
He didn’t respond.
“I’ll take your silence as a yes. This is why my father didn’t want me falling in love, Mr. Pootie. It’s a distraction, an
d one I can’t really afford to have. I have a company to run.”
Using his front paws to push me away, my cat fought to get out of my arms.
“You too, huh? Well I don’t have a choice. My father trusted me with his company, and I’m going to do what I was raised to do. Run it and make it even better than it was before.”
Licking his paw, he rubbed it over his ears and face. He had no interest in my declaration. None at all.
Note to self: Get out of the house more. You’re losing your damn mind.
After digging through the freezer, I settled on a pint of Blue Bell chocolate ice cream and headed into the living room to find something to watch on Netflix.
Mr. Pootie jumped up onto his cat condo and peered out over the city lights. Sedotto wasn’t far from my place, and my mind kept drifting off and wondering if the whole gang was out tonight. What was Tucker doing? Working or hanging all over Noelle. I picked up my phone and saw I had a voicemail from Lily. Swallowing hard, I hit the little sideways triangle and listened to it.
“Hey, I’m sorry we haven’t had a chance to talk. It’s been a rough few weeks. Mom is finally not crying every hour of the day.”
A long pause came. I heard music pulsing in the distance. She must have been in Tucker’s office.
“I’m sorry for what I said that day. I didn’t mean any of it. Well, I do think you work too much, but you already know that. I didn’t want you to leave. A part of me saw the hurt in your eyes when you saw Tucker, and the stress of the situation was too much to handle. It was easier for me if you weren’t there. That sounds like such a bitch thing to say, and I’m so sorry. Have you tried calling Tucker? He misses you, and I think he was really hoping you’d be here tonight.”
Seduce Me Page 17