by Nicole Helm
Shelby’s horrific music finally shut off, followed by the sound of her footsteps on the stairs. He watched her come down and couldn’t quite understand how his baby sister had turned into a woman.
A woman who was as mysterious to him as the woman who’d been his best friend for as long as he could remember.
“Hey,” she offered, walking in front of the TV screen.
He didn’t return a greeting. Instead, his bad mood leaked out. “Do me a favor when you go back upstairs? Put your headphones on so I don’t have to listen to that shit.”
Shelby rolled her eyes before disappearing into the kitchen. She returned with a bag of chips and plopped next to him on the couch. “We need to talk about graduation.”
“What about it?” He had no desire to talk or think about graduation, about that big event everyone should have their parents for. It made him think about the future. Weddings, babies and all the things and ways he’d have to play parent to his little sister. The pressure built in his chest, and he tried to chase it away with another swig of beer.
He was leaving her too. Taking away something from Shelby by not staying in Pilot’s Point, especially when it was so obvious she wanted him to. But, he couldn’t live with all those demands choking him. No amount of thunderstorms would take away that heavy weight in his chest every time he thought about all he was now responsible for.
A scarier thought snuck its way into his mind. What would change if he went back to Seattle? Would that weight disappear? Or would it still be there? Every time she came to visit during break, every summer she would hate being away from her friends, stuck with him.
“I have two tickets. I gave my other two to Dan, but I thought maybe you’d want to bring someone.”
Trevor tried to focus on her words, tried to push the other thoughts out of his mind. “Bring someone?”
“Yeah, to keep you company.” She crunched into a chip, didn’t look at him. “Graduation is so long and boring. Maybe if you brought Callie you’d have someone to talk to.”
Trevor leaned forward and tried to get a better look at her face. “You’re suggesting I bring Callie to your graduation?”
“Sure. It’s not like I’ll have to hang out with her.”
Who was this woman? Why couldn’t he read his own sister? Frustration melded with guilt to produce an even heavier weight. “What’s with you?”
“Nothing is with me.” She looked over at him defiantly. “What’s with you?”
Because he didn’t want to answer the question, he polished off the bottle of beer. “Will it bother you if I sit here and get shitfaced?”
“Does it matter if it bothers me or not?”
It surprised him she thought her feelings had no meaning to him. It squeezed his heart to see her terrible effort at apathy. “Yeah, it matters.”
She straightened a little, looked at him considering. “Then, yeah, it would. If you expect me to handle my problems without alcohol, you should set the example.”
Guilt made the self-pity bubble up and over. “I never had to set an example for you, Shelby. You came out perfect.”
“You’re wrong,” she said quietly. “Mom always told me I had to be like you.”
“Mom always told everyone to be like something or someone else. Never could satisfy that woman.” It was the first time he’d ever vocalized anything remotely negative about his mother since she’d died. He felt like shit for it, but it was true.
“Don’t talk about her like that.”
He jerked his shoulder, his hands itching for another beer or ten. “Whatever.”
“She was trying to make us better people,” Shelby continued, her voice earnest as if she was trying to convince herself as much as him.
“It worked, didn’t it? We’re decent people. Smart, talented and successful. But it kept me way the hell away. So far away I couldn’t even be here when she—”
“You didn’t know.”
“Does it matter?” Nothing seemed to matter. Hurt was blooming in his chest and he wanted it gone. He wanted to be gone.
“You came. You’re here.” After a long pause, she rested her hand on his arm. “It matters.”
Trevor sat there for a long moment, looking at his sister’s hand on his arm. She was trying to comfort him. Maybe it did a little to wash away some of that guilt.
“Dan really likes baseball.” Shelby gestured at the TV screen. “You should talk to him about it sometime.”
Trevor sighed. Time to lighten the mood. Let go of all the angst eating away at him. He’d focus on Shelby. On her life. “You really like the kid, don’t you?”
“I guess.” She tried her hand at apathy again and failed miserably as her mouth curved into a smile. It did more to ease the pressure, the ache. She was happy. He wasn’t ruining everything. At least not yet anyway.
Trevor stared at the TV, then the empty bottle in his hands. “I like him too. He’s a good kid.”
“Does that mean you’ll stop trying to scare the crap out of him?”
“Nah, best laughs I’ve had in a long time.” Trevor was surprised to find he could smile, he could tap into that sense of enjoyment he got from messing with Dan’s head.
“Jackass.”
He wanted to hug her for figuring out how to pull him out of his dark mood. Instead, he rested his arm behind her shoulders. “I love you, Shelby. I know I don’t say it enough, but I do.”
“I love you too. You don’t have to say it. You’re here. That’s enough.”
Here. Where he didn’t want to be. Four more months of this. Of dealing with his feelings for Callie, of dealing with all the myriad of things with his teenage sister. It was overwhelming, and yet, sitting on the couch with Shelby, watching baseball, he didn’t feel so lost and helpless. He kind of felt right.
Callie stepped into the library then mentally cursed herself for not checking to see if Em was actually there. Em was nowhere to be seen, but Trevor was standing on a ladder replacing light bulbs in the ceiling fan. His T-shirt rose up, exposing a strip of abs Callie could remember running her hands over. His cargo shorts hung low enough she could see the black waistband of his boxers and shit she did not want to be alone with him.
“Found another one.” Mary walked in holding a box of light bulbs. Callie had never been so happy to see Mary in her entire life. “Oh, hey, Cal.”
Callie didn’t know whether to laugh or bang her head against a wall when Trevor bobbled on the ladder. They might be acting like things were normal between them, but things definitely were not.
“I was looking for Em.”
“She had to run to the bank. Whatcha need?”
A less active imagination. A crappier memory. Instead, Callie smiled at Mary. “Nothing. Gotta get back.” Yeah, because the planes might run away if she wasn’t there. With her back to Mary and Trevor, Callie rolled her eyes.
“Hey, uh, wait a sec.” Trevor climbed down the ladder as she reluctantly turned around. “You busy Wednesday night?”
“Uh.” He was acting shifty, nervous, and it made her wary of agreeing to anything. Especially with Mary standing right there, grinning like a crazy person.
“Course she’s not busy. Girl never does anything but work now that she’s turned over this new leaf. Take her out, Trev. Nice as the new leaf is, girl needs to get away from these planes once in a while.”
Mortified, Callie could only stare at Mary. Mary snickered, and Callie was no longer even remotely grateful for her presence.
Trevor’s face remained blank. Some trick. Callie wished she knew how to keep her face from blushing like a shy teenager.
“I thought you could go with me to Shelby’s graduation. She gave me an extra ticket and it’d be nice to have someone to talk to.” He attempted a smile. It sucked. At least there was some indication he was as embarrassed as she was.
“That’s not much of a date.”
Callie glared at Mary, and in unison with Trevor retorted, “It’s not a date.”
&n
bsp; Mary held her arms up in mock surrender. “Of course not.” Sarcasm dripped from each word. “I’ll just get out of your way so you can discuss…” She made air quotes with her fingers. “Graduation.”
Callie fought the urge to scream. They had enough to deal with without other people starting to call them on their newly weirdly blurred friendship. One little mistake and now she had to walk on eggshells around her best friend. Not fair.
That was what she got for letting herself have something good. And, damn, it had been good.
“Look, you don’t have to go. Really. I can handle it myself.”
“No.” Callie gave a firm nod. Mary’s teasing would not screw her out of being a good friend. Her mistake of kissing him and, well, a lot more than kissing would not screw her out of friendship with Trevor. She was determined to keep that, even with the weirdness between them. Weirdness would fade. Eventually. “I’ll go.”
Somehow his expression was both relieved and disappointed. She knew the feeling.
“Great. Well, I should get back.” He gestured at the ceiling fan with the light bulbs.
“Right. Me too.” But they both stood for a minute, not moving, just looking at each other. Nervous, unsure Trevor wasn’t as lethally sexy as bossy, very sure Trevor, but he was damned cute.
Which meant Callie was well and truly screwed. With that thought, she got the hell out of the library as quickly as her feet would carry her.
Chapter Ten
Callie pulled on the hem of her skirt as she stepped out of her car at the Steele house. The only thing she’d had suitable to wear to a graduation had been the black dress she’d worn to Mrs. Steele’s funeral, and it didn’t seem right to wear that again.
She would have gone shopping, but there hadn’t been time. Lawson and the boys would be home in less than a week and she and Em spent every AIF-free moment going through the belongings of their grandparents.
Callie tried not to think about it. Part of it had been amazing, like having them back for a few fleeting moments, but then she had to remember they were gone, and the amazing turned into something painful. In the past, she would have given up that amazing to avoid the pain, but now it seemed worth it.
Callie took a deep breath in and let it out. Now was not the time to think about it.
Self-conscious, Callie pulled the skirt down again. It was borrowed from Em, so about an inch too short. She looked mildly ridiculous in the flowery print, but she’d managed to find a shirt of her own to go with it—a short-sleeved button-up shirt in white she was pretty sure she’d never worn.
She walked up to the Steele house and knocked on the door. Trevor answered almost immediately and it had Callie stepping back in surprise. She was kind of counting on those last seconds to compose herself.
“Hey. You’re late.”
“Sorry,” Callie muttered, trying not to pay attention to how good Trevor looked in a suit. She’d never thought she’d be the kind of woman attracted to a guy all dressed up, but he made it look so damn appealing.
When she thought about him looking appealing, she thought of all the other appealing things he could do with his hands, his mouth, and… She really had to stop this.
“Is it hot out?” he asked, frowning out at the sun.
“Not particularly. Why?”
“Your cheeks are all pink.”
“Oh.” She didn’t know what else to say and fidgeted as he took in the rest of her appearance.
“You look different.”
Callie’s mouth twisted and her nose wrinkled. Well, at least there was no danger of compliments sweeping her off her feet. “Okay.”
He shook his head. “That didn’t come out right.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m no supermodel.”
“It’s not that. You’re not wearing black and you’ve got lipstick on.”
“Miracles happen every now and again. Are we ready?”
“Yup.” He stepped out onto the porch, so close the pine smell of his soap drifted toward her. Damn. Why did he seem so unaffected? Like nothing had ever happened in that stupid basement. Apparently he was doing a lot better at blocking it all out than she was.
Callie stepped away, started walking toward the garage. When she looked back, Trevor hadn’t followed her.
He was staring at her legs and possibly her ass, and as he realized he’d been caught, he started to walk and tried to pretend he’d just been checking his pockets to make sure he had everything.
But Callie had seen that same flash of something she’d seen in the basement, and it made her smile. Momentarily.
All of Trevor’s words the other day in the basement had been true. She’d meant every word she’d said in return, but Callie couldn’t shake the feeling that before September came around they were going to end up giving in. And it was going to be a disaster.
Callie waited impatiently as Trevor opened the garage door and unlocked his car. The quicker they got to graduation, the quicker they were surrounded by a bunch of people, the better.
Wordlessly, she slipped into the passenger seat, desperately trying to keep the stupid skirt at a respectable level.
“Thanks for agreeing to come. It’ll probably bore you to tears. Hell, it’s going to bore me to tears, but it’ll be nice to have someone to talk to.”
Callie kept her hands on her skirt and her eyes on the windshield. “No problem.”
“Liar. You’re swamped and this is the last thing you want to do.”
Callie had to laugh, couldn’t resist the urge to look over at him. His profile looked so strong, so untouchable, but she knew he was feeling a little off, a little sad Shelby was graduating and his parents weren’t there.
The urge to reach out and touch his face, just a simple sympathetic gesture, had her clasping her hands on the hem of the skirt and facing forward again. “No, it’s nice to have a break. Besides, Em and I are almost done with what needs to be done at the big house. Lawson will be here before we know it, and Dan and Shelby will be helping. We’ll have plenty of hands to get us ready for September. They can do without me for one night.”
“Thanks. Let me guess, that’s Em’s skirt?”
Callie shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah. Didn’t have time to go shopping. Sorry.”
“It looks nice. You look nice.”
This time when she looked over at him, he was frowning, and his knuckles were white on the steering wheel.
The laugh bubbled up, quick and uncontrollable. As it broke out, it kept building until she was laughing almost uncontrollably.
“What’s so funny?” Trevor asked, but his lips were curved upward.
“I don’t know,” Callie said between breaths. “We’re such a mess. Such a ridiculous mess.” She tried to get a breath but ended up laughing some more. “Why am I here, Trev?”
“We might be a mess, but I still need you.”
That had her sobering some, had something warm and scary melting her defenses. “Then stop looking at my legs.”
He grinned, that handsome, cocky grin exactly the same as when they’d been in high school. “I’ll do my best, but you should probably know they’re really nice legs.”
All laughter was now efficiently dead, and they were back to where they started. Awkward silence and both pairs of eyes staring hard at the road.
When Trevor pulled his car into the busy lot of the community college’s auditorium, Callie felt unwanted memories press against her mind. Maybe it was silly, but the community college still reminded her of the unmitigated failure she’d experienced there, and it left her feeling out of place.
She didn’t know if Trevor sensed that, or if he simply needed some reassurances of his own, but he took her hand in his and smiled. “Just until we get inside.”
Callie nodded and swallowed and tried to ignore the surroundings and the warm feel of her hand in his. She knew his calluses were new from working at AIF, just like hers were old from always working with her hands.
Nowhere more than
here did she feel their differences. Trevor was educated and polished. Callie was lacking in both. Still, she let her hand rest in his as he pulled her through the groups of people, waving absently at those who called his name, or hers, until they spotted two empty seats. Once they sat down she could pretend half the town wasn’t staring at them wondering what the hell was going on there.
Before they could reach and claim the seats and blissful denial, Dana stepped in their path.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here? I certainly didn’t expect to see you tonight, Callie.”
Callie forced her lips into a smile, even if her jaw was clenched together. “Dana.”
“And, Trevor, it’s been so long. Sorry to hear about your mom.”
Trevor shrugged, tried to move past Dana, but the large woman effectively blocked any way out.
“Don’t you two look cozy.” She smiled, looking down at their joined hands with the predatory gleam of a true gossip.
Callie dropped her hand from Trevor’s immediately. “Just offering some moral support to an old friend.”
Trevor didn’t take the hint and he slipped his arm around her shoulders. “I don’t know what I’d do without Callie’s moral support.”
Dana practically drooled, and Callie could tell she was already searching the auditorium for people to tell. “Well, I’ll let you two find a seat.”
When she was out of earshot, Trevor’s arm went back to his side and Callie marched toward the empty chairs, determined to keep her mouth shut. She lasted a minute before whirling around.
“Why’d you do that? By the time graduation starts half this auditorium will think we’re a couple. And by the time it’s over, all of Pilot’s Point will be yapping about it.”
His look darkened, hardened. “None of their business.”
“No, but that sure as hell isn’t going to stop them.” She plopped into the empty seat and sighed. It wasn’t bad enough she was trying to convince herself she wasn’t having a thing with Trevor, now she’d have to convince the whole town?