by Kim Mckade
“I’m not afraid of them, Toby,” she said vehemently, knowing she was lying.
“I just wanted you to have a nice evening. I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Toby, you can’t go around trying to take care of the whole town. I have a right to know...” Her voice trailed off as she realized he wasn’t listening to her. He was staring intently at the front of her house.
“Stay in the Jeep,” he said shortly, slamming the door behind him. He trotted up the sidewalk.
She ignored him. She closed her door quietly behind her and pulled her shoes off before she tiptoed up the walk behind him.
One of the living room windows was broken. Corinne’s eyes quickly scanned the front of the house, but she could see no other damage.
Toby leaned down and looked through the window. Corinne tiptoed closer behind him.
“Do you think—”
“Ahh!” Toby jumped at the sound of her voice, and Corinne started at his reaction.
“Dammit, Corinne!” He lowered his voice to an angry whisper. “What the hell are you doing? I told you to stay in the Jeep!”
“No!” she argued. Adrenaline pumped through her system, and her heart pounded. “Do you think anyone’s in there?”
“I don’t know. Wait in the car, and I’ll check.”
“No,” she said again. “It’s my house. I’m going inside.”
Toby took a deep breath and his jaw tightened. Corinne could see him mentally struggling to maintain control. “Go back to the car, lock the door, and I’ll let you know when it’s safe.”
Right. She was just going to sit passively in the car and wait, while who knew what was going on inside her house.
Not likely.
She didn’t bother arguing with Toby. She turned on her heel and marched up the front steps.
Chapter 7
Toby’s feet thudded loudly up the sidewalk behind her.
“At least give me the keys and let me go in first,” he said, stepping in front of her. After a moment’s hesitation, Corinne silently complied.
Toby unlocked the door and swung it inward quickly, scanning the room. From behind him, Corinne did the same. There was no one in the living room.
Toby motioned for her to stay quiet, and he moved silently into the hallway. Corinne stood rooted to the floor, staring at the rock lying amid the broken glass on the floor.
Until that moment, Corinne had been going on anger and adrenaline. The anger she felt at Toby for lying to her. The outrage at the townspeople for not supporting Toby. The complete disbelief that someone would lash out at her for supporting him. All these emotions served to keep her from acknowledging the panic building within her.
But as she stood there staring at the rock, hearing the blood pounding in her ears, Corinne knew the panic was about to get out of control.
The strength drained from her legs. She sat heavily on the couch, still staring at the rock. Inside herself, she warred with the fear. She was not going to lose control, she told herself. She wasn’t going to give them control over her. She would not whimper. She would not shake. She would not cry. Never again
She grabbed her wrist and started counting
She didn’t hear Toby walk back into the room until he spoke. “It’s empty,” he said.
He squatted and picked up the rock. “At least there’s not a note,” he said, a weak grin on his face.
Corinne’s nostrils flared and her lips curled in derision. “Too cowardly to leave one, I’m sure. That’s okay. We know who it is.”
“I’ll call Luke. We’ll find out.”
“Don’t.” Corinne’s voice was deadly calm. Once again, the counting worked She knew the difference between normal agitation and a panic attack—knew it well. She stared at the rock, feeling the panic slowly being replaced by control.
“Don’t call Luke? Why not?”
Corinne shook her head and finally looked at him. “Don’t call anyone. I don’t want anyone to know about this.”
Toby studied her for a moment, then moved to sit beside her on the couch. “Are you okay?”
Corinne rose and locked her knees to keep from pacing. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m fine, and I’m going to remain fine. But I’m serious, Toby. I don’t want anyone to hear about this. Those jackasses are expecting me to run scared and make a big deal out of this. I’m not going to give them the satisfaction.”
Hearing her own words reminded Corinne of Jeremy. There had been another incident with him just this afternoon. She’d walked into her classroom and caught him rummaging through the drawers m her desk. The funny thing was, she got the impression he intended for her to catch him.
She’d finally met Jeremy’s mother a few days before in the hopes of learning some way to reach Jeremy. JoAnn Huckaby told Corinne that he refused to talk about his father and his crimes. Corinne thought that maybe Jeremy wanted to run from the situation, and this was his way of doing it.
Once again, she’d elected to handle the situation without outside help.
Over the past few weeks, she’d come to agree with Toby and Becca that Jeremy really wasn’t a danger to her or anyone else. But staring at the rock now in Toby’s hands, she wondered if she was wrong.
As if reading her thoughts, Toby said, “We don’t know for sure this is about the football players.”
“Of course we do. What else would it be about?”
She didn’t bother to answer her own question The strain of trying to keep still became too much for her. She went into the kitchen to put water on the stove for tea.
Toby followed her. Robotically she removed mugs from the cabinet, and tea bags from the pantry. Toby watched her silently.
“I have to make a report, Corinne,” he said finally. His voice was calm, but she knew he wanted to say more. She didn’t care.
“So, make it. Just make sure no one else ever knows about it.”
Toby closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m sorry this happened.”
“Don’t be.”
“I promise you, no one is going to hurt you.”
“I know.”
“They’re just mad, trying to get at me.”
“I know.”
“Dammit, would you say something!”
Toby crossed the room in three short strides. He took her by the forearms and studied her face. “Are you okay? Say something.”
“I’m fine, I told you. I’m not upset.”
“That’s what’s got me worried. You should be mad or upset or—or something.”
“Well, I’m not,” she said firmly. “And I’m not going to be. That’s what they want. I’m not playing their games.”
The teakettle whistled and Corinne busied herself pouring the steaming water.
“I’ll stay here tonight,” Toby said, swirling his tea bag around the mug.
“No, you won’t,” Corinne said calmly.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to try anything. But I want to keep an eye on you. I’ll stay on the couch.”
“No, you won’t.”
“Corinne, I’m not going to leave you here alone after this.”
Corinne’s jaw tensed, but her eyes remained cold. “You aren’t staying here. I can take care of myself.”
He reached out and traced the silvery scar that ran down her chin. “No, you can’t,” he said softly. “I’m not letting anything happen to you again.”
She jerked her head away and spoke through clenched teeth. “I will handle it. Myself.”
“How the hell do you plan to do that? What if we’re both wrong? What if it’s not just talk and blowing steam? What if one of those idiots really wants to hurt you? What if they all go out and get drunk and decide to do more than talk?”
He stood and began to pace, rubbing the back of his neck. Watching his agitation, Corinne felt herself grow even more calm. It was as if an icy numbness was born in the pit of her stomach, and slowly radiated from there.
“Look, I don’t want to
scare you—”
“I’m not scared.”
“—but I think we should think about this. When you walked away, some of those guys said some things. I don’t think they were serious, but just to be on the safe side...”
“You have to go now.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“Yes, you are. Go fill out your report. If I need to sign anything, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“This is stupid. We need to talk about this, decide how we’re going to handle it.”
“I told you, I’m going to handle it alone.”
“You don’t have to be some kind of hero here, Corinne. Don’t tell me this doesn’t affect you. Don’t tell me it doesn’t bring up bad memories.”
“How can you even begin to compare a broken window to what happened to me? How can you even presume to know—”
“I know it’s not the same thing, Corinne. But this is also violence, and it’s directed at you You have to talk about it, honey. You have to talk about what you’re feeling.”
“See, Toby, that’s the thing. I don’t have to talk about it. I don’t have to, and I’m not going to.”
“At least let me call your mother—”
“Don’t you dare!” The vehemence in her voice surprised even her. “I said you are not to tell anyone. I will not be the talk of this town I will not be known as a victim here. I will not!”
She clamped her mouth shut against a further outburst. Her breath came in small, staccato bursts. Toby watched her, his eyes full of a sadness that she couldn’t stand to look at. She set her mug on the counter with a thud and went to the front door
She held the door open in an obvious gesture.
Toby stared silently at her for a moment, hurt in his eyes. “It doesn’t have to be this way, Corinne. I could help you ”
“Go.”
He opened his mouth to speak again, then shut it. He shook his head and sighed. He walked past her without a word, without looking at her, and left.
Toby shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Moments like this, he was more glad than ever he’d decided to stay in Aloma. Big-city cops had to do stakeouts all the time. What a pain.
He was parked half a block away from Corinne’s house, barely out of sight. Dutch was watching the other side of the house at Toby’s request. Corinne would be furious if she knew she was being watched, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t about to go off and let her deal with everything alone.
The thing was, he didn’t really believe she was in any danger. What he was worried about most was the one thing he could do nothing about—the thoughts that must be going through Corinne’s mind.
In the past year, he’d beaten himself up over the fact that he hadn’t been there for her He still felt a sense of responsibility for her, but he hadn’t been able to stop what happened to her. Never mind that he was hundreds of miles away when she was shot. Never mind that it had been her choice to be in the situation she was in, not his. Never mind that there was probably nothing he could have done even if he had been there, instead of watching the drama unfold on television with the rest of the country.
The scene played itself out in his mind a million times in the past year. He knew the memories had to be worse for her. The thing was, he knew he could help her now, if she’d let him. And he knew that helping her would make him feel better, too.
He’d watched from the car as she cleaned up the broken glass and nailed a sheet up over the broken window in her mother’s living room. The light in her bedroom went out half an hour later He hoped she was getting some sleep. He figured, though, that more likely she was sitting in the dark, going over old terrors in her mind. He could be in there with her, talking it out, dealing with it together. Holding her. But instead, she had to be her usual stubborn self and tackle everything single-handedly.
He shifted in the seat, trying to stretch. The car was quickly becoming too small for his long body.
He kept his eyes trained on the house, remembering the old days. Remembering how he used to stay up nights thinking about Corinne Maxwell. Whispering her name to himself, going over every word she’d ever said to him, dreaming of things he would say to her, someday. His golden girl.
He’d been a fool back then. He craned his neck from side to side and wondered if he was really any smarter now. She’d stood there in that kitchen, pretending she wasn’t shaking, pretending she had it all under control, and all he’d wanted to do was take her in his arms and make her forget all of it.
He was still a fool. And even a fool could see, things weren’t going to turn out any different this time around.
Corinne screamed.
Toby was out of the car and running for the house before the faint sound stopped. Reaching the front porch, he swung open the screen and kicked in the door. He raised the pistol he had drawn.
Moonlight spilled in the living room through one window No one was in that room.
Dutch bounded up the front porch behind him.
“Check the back,” Toby told him. “Corinne!” he yelled.
She didn’t answer.
Toby’s heart thundered in his chest. He made his way carefully down the hall past her mother’s bedroom, gripping the pistol in both hands, pointed at the ceiling.
“Corinne!” he yelled again. The door to her bedroom was slightly ajar.
Toby kicked it open He leveled the pistol He swept it around the room.
Corinne was crouched on the bed, her eyes glazed and wide with fright. She stared through him.
“Corinne! What is it? Is someone here?”
The room filled with the sound of her terrified gasps—huge, painful gulps of air, over and over. One hand clutched at her chest, the other groping for something she couldn’t find. She pressed back against the bed and stared at him in terror.
His eyes swept the room quickly, checking the side of the bed, behind the chest. The room was empty.
“What’s wrong, honey?” he asked, fighting to keep her from hearing the panic in his voice. “Tell me what happened.”
As he talked, he crossed the room again and flung the closet door open, expecting someone to leap out at him. It was empty.
He looked back at the bed. Corinne still stared at the door, her eyes unfocused, every muscle in her body tense with fear, her chest heaving. Dear God, was she having a heart attack?
She didn’t see him rush to the bed until he was beside her, his weight on the bed shifting her.
“Corinne,” he said softly, placing a hand on her arm.
She gasped and started, jerking away and really seeing him for the first time. “No!”
“Corinne, sweetheart, are you okay? What happened? Is someone here?”
She stared at him, her brow wrinkled, and she edged away more, still gasping. “Toby?” Her voice was hoarse from sleep, or from screaming. She wiped a hand across her face, then rubbed her eyes. “Toby, what’s wrong? What are you doing here?”
“You tell me. I heard you scream. What happened? Are you okay? I’m going to call an ambulance.”
“No!” She rolled from the bed and cradled her head in her hands. Her breathing was still hard, but it was starting to ease a little. She looked around the room, then back at him. “I had a nightmare.”
Toby heard a noise in the hall. He rose and raised his pistol. It was Dutch.
“No one out back,” Dutch said as he entered the room. He looked at Corinne on the bed and tactfully turned away
“Dutch? What are you doing here?” Corinne asked, pulling the sheet up to her neck
“I think it was just a nightmare,” Toby told Dutch quietly, motioning with his head for Dutch to leave. He led the young deputy into the hall and pulled the bedroom door softly shut behind him “Go ahead and check out the rest of the house,” he whispered. “If everything looks okay, just go on home.”
Dutch nodded and began checking the other rooms.
“Toby?” Corinne’s voice was stronger now. Toby took a deep breath and braced himself.
When he walked back into the room, she stood, pulling on her bathrobe. To his immense relief, she no longer gasped for air.
“What happened? What are you doing here?”
“We heard you scream. Sweetheart, are you okay?”
“You heard me scream? At the courthouse?” Her brows drew low over her eyes and she raked a hand through her hair. She looked so small and confused. Toby wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and hold her.
He hesitated, measuring her state. Her hands fumbled clumsily with the belt of her robe, her hair tumbled in her face. She was fighting a losing battle with her composure.
“Not at the station. In my car. Down the street.”
Corinne’s hands froze. She stared at him silently for a moment, her mouth slightly open in disbelief. Toby decided the best defense was a good offense.
He sat on the bed, making sure his voice was calm and controlled. “I know you wanted to handle this situation, and I respect your desire to be alone. But protecting the citizens of this county is my job, and you are one of those citizens. I had reason to believe you might be harassed—”
His voice cut off as Corinne reached out, shoved him hard in the chest—hard enough to rock him backward—and stomped out of the room.
Toby lay on his back for a moment, staring at the ceiling. It could have gone worse, he supposed.
Corinne slammed two coffee mugs onto the counter, then stopped. She put one back into the cabinet
She stuck the teakettle under the faucet and wrenched the hot water tap on. After a moment she heard Toby’s boots on the wooden floor of the dining room. She didn’t turn around.
She dropped the kettle onto the stove burner with a wet clang and flicked the burner switch to high. She could feel Toby behind her. The tension in the room was thick enough to smell. It gave her something to concentrate on besides the fear still clinging to her insides. The humiliation of being rescued from her own mind.
Corinne’s cheeks burned with anger and indignity. It was bad enough when she woke herself with her screaming, bad enough to hear her own tortured breathing. No one else had a right or a reason to hear.
But now someone else had heard. Now someone else knew the scenes that haunted her sleep and reduced her to a senseless, pathetic quivering heap. Damn him!