by Kim Mckade
Corinne tried to find the words to deny him, but they lodged in her throat behind a lump. She whirled and moved to stand before the broken window, a vivid reminder of why he couldn’t be right.
The night air was chilly shifting around the sheet. Corinne hugged her elbows while Toby’s words echoed through her head. She heard Toby rise behind her.
“I’m sorry,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. His tone was serious. “This must be very frightening for you. You came back to Aloma thinking you could be totally in control, wouldn’t have to worry about being afraid, being threatened. And now, the kids are getting under your skin, I’m getting under your skin—”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“And now,” he continued heedlessly, “now you’re in even more danger than you were then.”
Corinne made a sound that she intended to be of disbelief. “I’d hardly say one broken window is more dangerous than getting shot.”
“I wasn’t talking about the window, I was talking about you. You, losing your heart. That’s a hell of a lot scarier than facing a bullet. It’s a hell of a lot scarier than leaving a career you don’t care about.”
“I cared about my career.”
“No, you didn’t. You may have cared about the people, about the stories at first. But your heart wasn’t in the reporting. I told you, I watched you every night.”
He squeezed her shoulder and she shrugged his hand away. It was the emotional upheaval, the tiredness, that kept her from fighting back, from telling him how wrong he was.
“You think you’re pretty brilliant, huh, Toby?” she asked, her back still to him as she stepped away.
“I know you.”
The words she should be saying to contradict him wouldn’t come, because every word he said was true. In the surreal dark of early morning, her delusions were stripped back and reality stared her, stark and raw, in the face.
“I’m not brilliant, though,” he said softly. “If I was, I’d figure out a way to make you stay.”
Corinne hugged her elbows tighter. “Toby, I.. could you just—” She didn’t know what to say, what to think. She only knew she didn’t want to think about what he was saying.
“Okay, I’ll stop.” Toby took one quick stride and gathered her in his arms
For once, Corinne didn’t fight his embrace. It took her mind off the thoughts spinning in her head.
She clung to him, focusing on how his body felt, strong and solid against hers. She emptied her mind of everything but the sight, sound and feel of Toby, edging out the words he’d spoken, and the knowledge that they were all too true.
Her face gently pressed to the V of his neck, she breathed in the spicy scent of him. His hold on her tightened. His broad hand smoothed and bunched the terry cloth back of her robe.
He bent his neck and she felt his breath, warm on her ear. She closed her eyes and turned her head to him. Here, here was a way to get lost. Here was a way past thinking.
She lunged greedily at his lips and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Toby groaned half in surprise, half in pleasure, and pulled her up to him, molding his lips to hers.
She was hungry, greedy, threading her fingers through his hair. Her fingers caressed his scalp, and Toby moaned again and crushed her tighter against him. She couldn’t breathe, but all she wanted to do was get closer.
Fire sparked within her and quickly fanned to a burning flame. She breathed in deeply, feeding the fire with oxygen that smelled of Toby, smelled of his want. She slipped her hands into his collar, her nails scraping lightly along the back of his neck.
Toby caught her face in his hands, his thumbs together under her jaw. His lips were firm on her own, tasting, then suddenly demanding, moving over her cheek, down the line of her jaw.
“Yes,” Corinne breathed, tilting her head to give him better access to her throat. She clung to the back of his neck for dear life.
Toby’s broad hands smoothed down the curve of her neck, to her shoulder. He parted the robe, and with a moan and a sigh she loosened the belt and helped it to drop to the floor with a quiet swoosh.
Toby’s hands were warm on her bare shoulders. His thumbs hooked under the straps of her tank top, rubbing back and forth along her collarbone. Corinne arched against him, aching for the touch of his hands on her, craving the feel of his callused hands against her feverish flesh.
Toby gripped her shoulders and moved the kiss back to her mouth. He thrust his tongue past her lips, and the fire inside Corinne leapt and doubled.
She’d found what she craved, what she needed—mindless, thoughtless sensation. She slipped one hand inside Toby’s starched shirt, her palms hot, his chest even hotter, and with the other hand she began to undo the buttons of his shirt. She pulled the shirttails out of his pants with an impatient tug.
Toby pulled his mouth away for a moment, his breathing haggard, his eyes clouded with desire. “Are you—” was all he managed to say before Corinne covered his mouth with her own, making speech impossible.
“Yes,” she said shortly against his lips, and as if to offer proof, took his hand in her own and placed it on her breast.
It was all the encouragement he needed. He cupped her breast through the thin cotton of her shut, caressing it. Corinne moaned and stepped back, taking his other hand and putting it on her other breast. She closed her eyes and let her head hang back, her hands gripping his forearms. She unconsciously arched against his hands, using his hands to increase her pleasure. First pushing them lightly away to barely scrape her nipples, then pulling them back to crush against her.
Toby squeezed her nipples tightly, and Corinne drew in a sharp breath and bit her lower lip. She swallowed hard and dropped her head forward. She stepped closer to Toby, her knees weak and her heart thudding painfully against her ribs. She pushed his shirt back and kissed the center of his chest.
Toby gripped the back of her head, whispering something unintelligible against her crown.
Suddenly he froze. Corinne kissed a trail down his chest while her fingers fumbled with the belt at his waist.
Toby wrenched away, stepping back.
Corinne stumbled at his sudden abandonment. Mindless, her eyes clouded with desire, she reached for him.
“No.” He took her hands in his and held her away from him.
“What?” Corinne’s mind reeled.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it go this far. I’m sorry.”
She jerked her hands away and tried to steady her heartbeat. “Toby...” Her voice was a warning.
“No, Corinne. Not now. Not like this.”
“Not like what?” Corinne hated her voice sounding so shrill, so out of control.
“Not you, trying—” Toby’s voice broke off, and he took a deep breath, scrubbing his face with one hand before facing her with bleak eyes. “Not you, trying to forget. You’re not going to use me, use this, that way. We’d both regret it.”
Corinne glared at him, speechless with rage and humiliation.
“When we do get together—and we will, make no mistake about it—it will be because you want to be with me, not because you’re running from something else.”
Corinne raked a hand through her hair, then snatched her robe off the floor and shoved her arms through the sleeves. “You’re right. This was a mistake from the beginning. I was stupid to think for a second that this would work.” She belted the robe tightly around her waist. Her hands and knees trembled, but her nose was in the air. “And really, Toby, thank you. Thank you for warning me. Maybe I was getting too close to—to everyone here. Starting to care too much. But, believe me, that will stop. Right now.”
She walked as calmly as she could manage to the front door and opened it. “You can leave now.”
“I’m going.” His breath came raggedly. Knowing that this was as hard for him as it was for her gave her no satisfaction. He took his hat from the table, then stood in front of her, turning it around and around in his hands.
> “Well? What are you waiting for?” She stared daggers through him, and the miserable look on his face didn’t stop her.
Toby shook his head sadly. “I was just wishing I wasn’t such a damn fool. Good night, Corinne.”
He put on his hat and walked out the door.
Chapter 9
He was a jerk. He was a smug, superior, self-righteous know-it-all.
He was also right.
Oh, she tried to deny it, Corinne thought as she jogged down the deserted blacktop. On Monday morning at school, she’d looked at each of the students, assuring herself that they meant nothing more to her than a job, a task to be accomplished. But before the thought could even finish itself, she found herself wondering if Benny Preston’s shoulder hurt from the hard hit he’d taken during the game Friday night. She caught herself wondering if Cindy Wells was impressed with the enthusiasm and heart, if not skill, Josh Baxter had shown during the game.
She even felt sorry for Carl Buchanan, a little. He couldn’t help the genes he’d been born with, and it was too bad his father only appreciated his athletic ability. She caught herself planning to find and nurture in him other talents, let him know that he was more than his football stats. Then she remembered that she didn’t care.
How did this happen? She’d only been here a little over a month. Two months ago—two weeks ago—she would have sworn she could never feel anything again. And she liked it that way. That was the way she wanted it, dammit!
She hoped Toby was pleased with himself. If he hadn’t pointed it out to her, she might not be running down the road now, trying to wear herself out to the point of numbness.
She heard the hum of a car behind her. She moved far onto the shoulder. The car slowed. In a flash, Corinne remembered the rock through her window. The angry, glaring faces at the football game.
She whipped her head around in fear.
It was Toby in the sheriff’s Jeep. Corinne breathed a sigh of relief.
He pulled alongside. “Hey there,” he called casually through the passenger side window. “Jogging out here? All alone?”
She nodded. Mr. Davis was in the front seat of the Jeep, and Jeremy Huckaby slouched in the back seat, his eyes red-rimmed. “Hello, Mr. Davis. Jeremy,” Corinne said, leaning into the window. Mr. Davis sat solemnly, clutching his hat and staring straight ahead. “Where have you guys been?”
“We went to Abilene. Had a few errands to run,” Toby said.
Jeremy rolled his eyes and slouched farther down in the seat.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be out here all by yourself. Maybe you ought to stay in town.”
Corinne shrugged it off. She wasn’t going to admit the same thought crossed her mind seconds before. “I was just heading back into town.”
“Good. Why don’t you ride back with us? I need to talk to you.”
Corinne looked at him suspiciously. She didn’t want to get into an argument with him in front of the others. Toby cocked his head and opened his eyes wide, looking like an innocent puppy. “Seriously, there’s something I need to talk to you about Can I give you a ride home?”
There was no way she was going to be alone with Toby Haskell again. She lifted her chin and backed away from the window. “You can call me.”
“Corinne, it’s important.”
Corinne looked again through the window into his face. He was serious. He’d quit grinning and his eyes held concern. She knew this wasn’t about their argument last week.
“Let me take you home, okay?”
Corinne pursed her lips. How bad could it be, with two other people in the car?
They dropped off Mr. Davis first. Toby walked him to his front door, and Corinne heard him telling the older man, “I’ll be back in a few hours. If you need any help, don’t hesitate to call the station.”
Mr. Davis scowled and turned to the door angrily. “There is no need to treat me as a child, Mr. Haskell. I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself. No matter what that doctor said.”
The Huckabys lived on the other end of town, past the railroad trestle and down a dirt road about half a mile. Jeremy wasn’t any more receptive to Toby’s guardianship than Mr. Davis had been. Toby walked Jeremy to his front door, where Mrs. Huckaby waited. As soon as he got past her, Jeremy tried to duck into the house, but his mother collared him and told him to thank Toby for taking him to his appointment with his counselor.
He glared sullenly at Toby, and Toby waited patiently with his arms crossed over his chest. JoAnn Huckaby turned away sadly when her son refused to speak. Corinne smiled sympathetically at her through the open window of the Jeep.
When JoAnn’s back was turned, Toby stuck his tongue out at Jeremy and crossed his eyes. Jeremy was so stunned that the laugh was out of his mouth before he had a chance to clamp down on it. He coughed and sputtered and then turned and spit on the ground, just for good measure, scowling ferociously.
“You’re welcome, Jeremy.” Toby grinned. “I’ll be back here next week at the same time. Maybe we can fit in a trip to the mall after your session.”
“You don’t gotta baby-sit me,” he said.
“Have to,” Corinne and Mrs. Huckaby said at the same time. Jeremy rolled his eyes at both of them.
“Is the old geezer going with us again?”
“Yep,” Toby said, walking down the steps. “He has another doctor’s appointment.”
Corinne could have sworn there was pleasure in Jeremy’s eyes as he heard that As soon as he was dismissed, Jeremy fled into the house.
“What was all that about?” Corinne asked as they drove away.
“Jeremy had a session with his counselor, and Mr. Davis had a doctor’s appointment. We decided to carpool.”
Corinne shook her head, but decided against commenting on Toby’s involvement with his constituents. “Jeremy looked like he’d been crying.”
“I thought so, too. The session must have been rough. The family went to the prison to visit his dad last week.”
“Poor kid,” Corinne murmured.
“Poor kid? Weren’t you the one convinced he was a derelict without hope for redemption?”
“Don’t start with me, Sheriff.”
“Sorry.”
“What did Mr Davis’s doctor say?”
Toby frowned and shook his head. “He’s running tests. He thinks it’s Alzheimer’s disease, but they have to rule everything else out before they can say that’s what it is.”
“Maybe it’s just a vitamin deficiency or something. Maybe it’s not—”
“That sounds like something I’d say. Coming back to Aloma is turning you into an ignorant, hopeful idealist, too.”
“I’m just saying—”
“I know. And I hope you’re right. But this time, I don’t think so. While we were there, he got all depressed and started crying, then he thought we were trying to have him committed and steal all his money. It’s bad, Corinne.”
Corinne’s shoulders slumped. “You’re full of good news today.”
Toby took a deep breath and gave her a halfhearted smile. “Actually, it’s not all bad. He still functions at normal capacity most of the time. Right now he just gets confused and that makes him mad. There’s no telling how long it will be before he needs full-time help. We have a while yet.”
Corinne watched Toby as he drove, one arm casually thrown over the steering wheel. There were dark smudges of exhaustion under his eyes and his shoulders slumped. He’d spent his day hearing nothing but bad news. And yet he still managed to remain upbeat, joking with a kid who despised him, confident he could defeat the unbeatable illness of an old man.
Corinne wondered if he’d eaten well lately She wondered if he’d gotten any sleep in the past week. She could ask him over for dinner, but she knew it would only lead to more arguments Toby was driving himself to save the world with his bare hands—herself included—and to live up to an unrealistic ideal of his own father. She wondered if he was even aware how great a man he was, or if he still b
elieved he could never measure up.
“What?” Toby turned to see her watching him.
Corinne shook her head and faced forward. “Nothing.”
“Why were you looking at me like that?”
“I wasn’t looking at you,” she said, then added, “Like what?”
“Like I was a puppy abandoned on the side of the road. A really cute puppy.”
“I was simply wondering if you were taking care of yourself. Getting enough rest and eating right,” she said primly.
Toby laughed. “So, the woman who doesn’t care about anybody or anything—”
“I told you not to start with me.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Toby said contritely. He laughed lightly, then wiped the smile away with his hand when she glared at him
Corinne stared out the window. They were both silent for the remainder of the drive to her house.
When they pulled up in front of the little frame house, Corinne noticed him giving the house the once-over. “Don’t worry. I haven’t had any more trouble this week. It was a onetime thing.”
Toby nodded silently. He walked her to the front door and unlocked it for her.
“Okay, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
He shrugged and cupped the back of his neck, studying the porch for a few seconds. “Just something I’ve been thinking about, an idea I had this afternoon. I was hoping you could help me.”
She stood in the doorway and cocked her head. “What is it?”
“It’s about leaving Mr. Davis alone. You know, those kids I arrested were sentenced to community service. I was thinking about seeing if they could work it off, looking after him.”
Corinne shook her head doubtfully. “I don’t know. That sounds pretty risky. If he really does have Alzheimer’s, he’ll need professional care.”
“Not for a while. He’s still doing pretty good, I think. He just needs supervision right now, help keeping his bills paid and making sure he doesn’t leave the gas on, things like that.”